I've lurked this forum and posted once or twice but to be frank, I sometimes get jealous when people talk about their relationships and issues. It also kinda follows in school when I see couples kissing, fondling with each other, and all their non-sex based lovey dovey things. I don't really know why but I've joined all these clubs. I'm in the sports club for my school and I've won MVPs. I work in community fundraisers, I'm a vice school president and therefore I have all these girls around me in the surroundings of what I do everyday. The thing that really bugs me the most is that I've been in my school from when I was 5 to 18 and I have never gotten into a relationship with any girl. Sure, I talk to girls, I have to work with girls, and I have crushes on hot girls like most common guys, but I have never, to clarify again, been in a relationship before.
It's funny because I know some guys who are less accomplished than me and they have girls swarming all over them. I have to admit that I'm more well-known in the community for my athleticism and my fierce competitiveness when I do sport. However, I really don't think my accomplishments and my status of fame goes towards gaining a relationship in anyway to make that clear before anyone posts "U THINK U R SUPERIOR DATS Y!!1!11!" type posts.
I have a few friends and lots of acquaintances in school due to activities I do. I'm not really much of a person who lives in a life of a party, getting wasted, getting drunk, etc. Although I wish not to smoke or get drunk and smashed, I do wish I am a part of this. I don't really have friends who go to clubs once in a while. They are just plain ordinary high schoolers. Alot of the "popular kids, cool party dudes, hotty girls" whom are considered in my school have some kind of hatred against me. I'm mostly more academic and athletic focused to brief things up. Since I workout, I do have some form of physique too. However, my face doesn't look that great and I am really unphotogenic (I have no good photos hence why I disabled people viewing any pictures of me at all on FB except my profile picture which is at least one decent photo).
These are basically the routine I have when involved in any activities with girls. I basically co-run the head student body organization and it has two girls. They're both hooked in a relationship. I talk to them alot. I joke, I laugh with them, I thank them and congratulate them for their achievements. They're actually quite close friends to me. When I do sport, I come across hot female athletes and I talk to them, buy them a drink of energy drink, joke with them. Take in note that these are only around 4 girls with a mix of some guys. Two are in relationships, two are not. When I study, my study partner are mix of girls and boys. My main partner is a girl who's quite pretty and we get on with projects, revise, help each other out, talk about stuff, talk about life. My main partner recently got a boyfriend.
I remember back around year 10, I told my friend that I had a crush on a girl called X (let's just call her that). Everyone suddenly knew one day, made rumours and X, who I talked to commonly just brushed me off. Alot of people gossiped and it really did hurt me. I told X that it was a temporary thought and I binned it. I apologized in a sincere way. Instead I got slapped for some reason some gossipers made up (something about how I wished to bang her in the school toilet one day). I have never told any secrets to anyone from then on.
I just want to ask. How do people here all the right things in all the right places? They get a girl they want, they have a happy relationship and onwards. Am I missing something? I'm seriously confused. Is there some kind of atmospherical change thing boys do to get girls? It's just really fucking my mind at the moment. Please help FP. :)
How though? I mean I actually took some effort to try and flirt a tiny bit with the girls during year 11 but they do not seem interested at all.
Advice for anyone who wants to go on a date with someone is to go to the movies. You don't have to talk with them during the movie (Unless you're a dick), and after the movie you can talk about the movie. If you just want to talk to someone, ask them questions about themselves (Don't ask yes or no questions, the longer they have to talk to explain it the better), people like to talk about themselves. It gets the conversation started pretty well.
[QUOTE=Deathhunter;37403072]Lots of words[/QUOTE]
Yes okay, I think we get the concept you are around girls a lot. But just cause your around them they arn't gonna come flocking to you. Guys are expected to be the initiators in this society, so initiate! It doesn't sound like you have outright tried to get any of those girls your around. Crushed on some of them, and got outed with one but not tried to actually date one.
Thing is, alot of the girls I know have boyfriends. They also have already had boyfriends and I am just scared about what to do to approach girls when I'm in a love situation. I did ask a girl whether they wanted to see a Harry Potter movie one time since she really loved Harry Potter and then have some dinner. She directly said, "sorry but I'm not really interested".
I didn't have a great social life before year 11. Depression, social problems, abit of learning impairment, etc. Do you think these qualities will be remembered by girls who I aged with? Although I'm a different person than the person from those years, does it leave a big impact? I make changes and have put alot of effort into becoming a better me.
[QUOTE=Deathhunter;37403965]Thing is, alot of the girls I know have boyfriends. They also have already had boyfriends and I am just scared about what to do to approach girls when I'm in a love situation. I did ask a girl whether they wanted to see a Harry Potter movie one time since she really loved Harry Potter and then have some dinner. She directly said, "sorry but I'm not really interested".
I didn't have a great social life before year 11. Depression, social problems, abit of learning impairment, etc. Do you think these qualities will be remembered by girls who I aged with? Although I'm a different person than the person from those years, does it leave a big impact? I make changes and have put alot of effort into becoming a better me.[/QUOTE]
Just because you get rejected once or twice doesn't mean you stop trying. You listed multiple girls you know who arnt dating anyone also, and really you don't have to date within your current circle at all anyway.
Yes they may remember that but depending on how well they still know you now that may not be a big factor. Depends if you were a big whiner then as well. If you were very open and complainy about your problems to them they will certainly remember it and it likely will effect negatively. Otherwise, if you just weren't very social then it shouldnt effect much if they know you well now.
But again either way, you don't have to date in your current social circles anyway.
edit:
If your worried about your past effecting current relationships then dating outside your circle might be easier anyway, make you less nervous about it.
[QUOTE=Killer monkey;37400243]Yea its 16, but really? Everyone else has, and it makes me feel awkward...probably because I am.[/QUOTE]
Not at all, I'm 16 and had my first kiss just this year.
[QUOTE=Killer monkey;37400243]Yea its 16, but really? Everyone else has, and it makes me feel awkward...probably because I am.[/QUOTE]
I was 16 when I got my first kiss and I felt the very same way. Its really okay though, you just gotta look for opportunity's and go after them. Don't wait on people to come to you.
I actually got my first kiss as I was losing my virginity. So don't be discouraged, its nothing to worry over at all.
[editline]25th August 2012[/editline]
That being said I wouldn't go around telling people you have never kissed a girl. Just lie about it, I sure as fuck did.
I got my boyfriends first kiss when he was 17 almost 18 :) <3
My first kiss was a few weeks ago, im 16 now :D
My first kiss was a month or two ago. I'm 19.
I've been kissing everything that moves since.
[editline]25th August 2012[/editline]
I never remember it though. I'm usually out my face. And I've kissed what many people have told me are "ten out of tens"
[editline]25th August 2012[/editline]
I've kissed roughly 4 people in the last two months and still don't know how to kiss. I never remember. So classy.
First proper kiss was 17. Think I had some crappy truth or dare brief kiss, or pecking at around 11 but let's not count them.
Enjoy your mono :v:
[editline]25th August 2012[/editline]
I remember I kissed my girlfriend even though she was ill. She kept refusing to kiss me all day, but right before she left, she felt bad so she kissed me and said "If you get sick, it isn't my fault!".
It was funny how I took care of her when she was sick, and then when she got better, I got sick, so she took care of me. Ah, memories. I miss them.
I just turned 17 when I had my first kiss. 15 to probably 19 or 20 is when most people their first kiss, so being 16 and not having kissed no one is pretty normal to me.
I can't even remember when I had my first kiss. I was young I tell you that.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37407632]Enjoy your mono :v:
[editline]25th August 2012[/editline]
I remember I kissed my girlfriend even though she was ill. She kept refusing to kiss me all day, but right before she left, she felt bad so she kissed me and said "If you get sick, it isn't my fault!".
It was funny how I took care of her when she was sick, and then when she got better, I got sick, so she took care of me. Ah, memories. I miss them.[/QUOTE]
What ever happen, to you and her?
my first kiss was a week ago.
i now have mono.
Well, that break up went about as terribly as any break-up possibly could. She forced it through text, by not letting me talk to her in person, and not returning my calls. Finally, I sent her, "I don't understand this distance you're trying to put between us. I'll be awake tomorrow, please call me or stop by so we can talk about it."
She sends back "Just calm down and don't tell me when I must communicate with you."
I reply, "See, this is what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to fight you, Ashe, I'm just confused. Please, just give me a call tomorrow so we can work this out."
Apparently, she harbored a lot of resentment. Went straight for the throat, used all the secrets I'd shared and trust I'd given against me. Eight pages of insults and accusations. It was so brutally awful, how completely she shredded things, that it left absolutely no chance of working anything out.
After they stopped coming in, I sent, "Wow, I just wanted to talk, but you really went for the throat. We could've worked this out, Ashe."
She sends a few more pages about how broken and bad I am, and then finishes with, "[B]I hope we can still be friends[/B]."
Um... Yeah, I'm sure we'll be good buds after this, Ashe. You used everything I'd ever confided in you with against me, just for wanting to talk to you about our relationship. Clearly, we're gonna hang out and watch Doctor Who again.
Oh well, what can you do? I feel about as terrible as I'd expected, but not as bad as I'd feared. I'll pick myself up before long.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37411630]Well, that break up went about as terribly as any break-up possibly could. She forced it through text, by not letting me talk to her in person, and not returning my calls. Finally, I sent her, "I don't understand this distance you're trying to put between us. I'll be awake tomorrow, please call me or stop by so we can talk about it."
She sends back "Just calm down and don't tell me when I must communicate with you."
I reply, "See, this is what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to fight you, Ashe, I'm just confused. Please, just give me a call tomorrow so we can work this out."
Apparently, she harbored a lot of resentment. Went straight for the throat, used all the secrets I'd shared and trust I'd given against me. Eight pages of insults and accusations. It was so brutally awful, how completely she shredded things, that it left absolutely no chance of working anything out.
After they stopped coming in, I sent, "Wow, I just wanted to talk, but you really went for the throat. We could've worked this out, Ashe."
She sends a few more pages about how broken and bad I am, and then finishes with, "[B]I hope we can still be friends[/B]."
Um... Yeah, I'm sure we'll be good buds after this, Ashe. You used everything I'd ever confided in you with against me, just for wanting to talk to you about our relationship. Clearly, we're gonna hang out and watch Doctor Who again.
Oh well, what can you do? I feel about as terrible as I'd expected, but not as bad as I'd feared. I'll pick myself up before long.[/QUOTE]
Shes a fucking dick holy christ.
wow that woman has some issues to work out. good on you mate, you did your best
Wow, I feel like your month-long relationship included all the details and dramatic break-up of a year-long one. I don't even understand how somebody has a break-up that bad after such a short time. So what was the event that originally put the distance between you too? Why did she suddenly become so cold exactly?
damn, what set her off like that? i find it hard to imagine anything that could happen in a month-long relationship to warrant that sort of response.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;37411696]Wow, I feel like your month-long relationship included all the details and dramatic break-up of a year-long one. I don't even understand how somebody has a break-up that bad after such a short time. So what was the event that originally put the distance between you too? Why did she suddenly become so cold exactly?[/QUOTE]
Not a clue, mate. I really don't think I did anything wrong. She accused me of trying to control her, of having no respect for her boundaries, and all sorts of other things that just aren't true. Every time things started getting physical between us, I'd stop before things got too far and ask her, "are you sure you're ready for this?"
Every time she said, "no," and I stopped. And she still made me feel pretty guilty about it.
I really and truly don't feel like I was pushing this relationship too fast, I think she's just an emotionally damaged girl.
[editline]26th August 2012[/editline]
It was a very sudden change of pace! This time last week, everything was great. Iwas extremely happy, she seemed extremely happy, and all was swell. Then she just started pulling away, all of a sudden. It was like a complete 180. I can't imagine that I actually did anything that would cause such a sudden shift.
something else might have happened in her life to cause it, a sudden turn-around like that sounds pretty strange. either way, it sounds like she has some personal problems she needs to figure out on her own.
props for being so civil about the whole thing.
I guess all I can do is mope for a couple of days and start looking for new opportunities!
maybe she's a sociopath
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37412037]To be honest, you should be happy she showed her crazy now rather than later. Because the longer you'd have been together the more it would have hurt to hear all that stuff.[/QUOTE]
and the more stuff she would've had to use against him.
i was with my ex for 3 years, after i broke up with him i found out he had been holding on to the photos/texts i had asked him to get rid of for a reason.. i'd prefer not to find out details but i know he went on a "slander campaign" against me, as one of our mutual friends put it.
i retract my question, she sounds like she got issues - bda remains a winner
[QUOTE=Garfy;37407631]First proper kiss was 17. Think I had some crappy truth or dare brief kiss, or pecking at around 11 but let's not count them.[/QUOTE]
Same shit here, but first proper kiss at 16.
The BDA's situation does make me wonder, in regards to people like his ex, what does happen to them at the end of it all?
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