Oh dates are easy. My favorite is mini golf but you could try going to maybe some stores and shopping or the mall, the zoo etc. Personally, I think a good date should start with something fun and out in public and should end somewhere quiet and a place where you can be romantic and shit
Like on my last day with the girl, we went mini golfing, then to a thrift store or two, a hole in the wall pizza place, then hung out on the beach and then back to her place. Granted it was no first date but still it should work
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37479094]we're not telling you you are a horrible person and you should kill yourself.
[/QUOTE]
We're not? He's not?
Shit, Loopoo, ignore that PM.
On topic, I wanna ask this girl out but I'm not sure how to do so without looking like I'm doing so because she's absolutely gorgeous. I mean, she is [I]absolutely gorgeous,[/I] but thats not why I'm interested. Okay i'd be lying if I said it had nothing to do with it, but its certainly not primary.
[editline]31st August 2012[/editline]
fuck it I'm winging it here we go
Honestly, winging it can sometimes be the best way to do it. I mean the entire idea is you want someone to like you for who you are.
Sometimes you can make yourself so much more nervous about asking someone if you spend alot of time thinking about it, but doing nothing.
That went well. Gonna work schedules out.
Yo, not everything you do with your SO has to be this spectacular, well-planned perfect date. I used to be really bad at trying to build up every single second I spent with people in relationships which was such a mistake and made relationships far more stressful than they should be. It's real nice to get to that point where things become super comfortable and doesn't need to be a big "to-do" all the time.
Like today, I grabbed some coffee and donuts for the gal pal after dropping her off at class, brought her back home, and we've just been watching Parks & Rec ever since. Real chill, super simple, and pretty perfect.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37478731][img]http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/second-base-1954-jay-manne-crusoe.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
So that is what heaven looks like.
Yeah look at that bicep he's fucking ripped
Well the lady that tore me apart just had her parents disown her. I can't help but feel terrible.
[QUOTE=Sir Spicy Buns;37487957]Well the lady that tore me apart just had her parents disown her. I can't help but feel terrible.[/QUOTE]
What happened? Why did they disown her? (feel free to just direct me to old posts if I missed them)
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37487986]What happened? Why did they disown her? (feel free to just direct me to old posts if I missed them)[/QUOTE]
I don't know what pages they were but if someone could find them? i just looked back and couldn't find them.
[url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1152162&p=37275304&viewfull=1#post37275304[/url]
That's where it started
[QUOTE=ewitwins;37288403]Alright, I know I'm late to the whole SSB party, but I [B]have[/B] to put my two cents in on this, being the relationship guru I am (sarcasm mmmm)
What he did is [B]exactly[/B] what he should've done, and here's why. First of all, I'm assuming he drove her to the beach, if that's the case, he just did something that defines what kind of person he is throughout the [I]entire[/I] relationship. When you break up with someone/end the relationship, how you do it will not only define how your future relationships go, but it will also define how people see you. When women hear about how you broke up with your last relationship (which they will) it w ill affect how they view you as a potential boyfriend (this works for both gender btw). What SSB basically did was to say "Hey, you ruined everything, but I'm the bigger person here so here's your money, I'm leaving". Now that'd be normal as normal can be, if it weren't for the fact that not only did he do this, but he also [I]completely[/I] cut off contact with her afterwards, which means there was no drama, no awkwardness, just a message to future relationships:
"If you fuck this up, I'm gone."
That's the best thing he could've done for himself out of anything. He didn't put himself out there, he didn't try and stretch for something out of desperation. He made it about himself and he did it courteously, and that's what matters.
I'm proud of you SSB and I'm proud that you know that your happiness and your dignity come first, that's something that will save yourself and your future relationships for a long time.
There's also the fact that he heard her out all of the way, and told her he wished her happiness, that's about the bravest damn thing you can do! When you show anger and rage in a situation like that, you're not only opening yourself up for ridicule for how you acted, but you're reacting to the situation before thinking, something we all regret in the aftermath.
There's my two cents, disagree or agree, I think that's the best breakup I've heard of in a long time.[/QUOTE]
Never told you this but thanks, that made me feel better.
I guess what pains me most about the situation is that, all the times i thought i made her happy, it wasn't me. It was some other guy making her smile. Well, the past is the past. I guess she may be happy? i hope so. I'll be getting better soon, i won't be letting this drag me down, It's a waste of time.
So I like this girl at school. When we talk in class, we're really comfortable around each other, but if I say hi in the halls or on the way outside she seems really awkward and almost creeped out by me. If she initiates the conversation though she's usually fine. Anyone have any advice or experience with this?
[QUOTE=MrBob1337;37488627]So I like this girl at school. When we talk in class, we're really comfortable around each other, but if I say hi in the halls or on the way outside she seems really awkward and almost creeped out by me. If she initiates the conversation though she's usually fine. Anyone have any advice or experience with this?[/QUOTE]
maybe she doesnt want to be seen talking to you because you're considered "uncool" by her friends or something
[QUOTE=MrBob1337;37488627]So I like this girl at school. When we talk in class, we're really comfortable around each other, but if I say hi in the halls or on the way outside she seems really awkward and almost creeped out by me. If she initiates the conversation though she's usually fine. Anyone have any advice or experience with this?[/QUOTE]
Maybe she just considers you an in class friend? I made a lot of friends in class cause there was no one else I knew but I generally wouldn't opt to hang out with them outside of class.
Or your imagining it, which is quite possible.
[QUOTE=lotusking;37488718]maybe she doesnt want to be seen talking to you because you're considered "uncool" by her friends or something[/QUOTE]
Or, perhaps instead of jumping straight to the possible negative, we can jump to the positive and say perhaps she's shy when he initiates the conversation outside of their normal routine. If it was me, and I was regularly seeing a person in class, I'd feel comfortable talking to them there as it would be routine. If they came and spoke to me out of class, I'd be surprised. So perhaps she's just shy that you think she's important enough to talk to outside of class.
My girlfriends been distant for almost a week and we had a talk about it and she says she doesn't know what's wrong with her and she just needs space. I didn't do anything to make her like this.
Like everything was fine then BOOM she's all distant
Girls man
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;37488754]Is there some sort of endurance training thing I can do so I don't ejaculate all over my girlfriend before I want to?[/QUOTE]
i wish my girlfriend could actually make me ejaculate
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;37488786]My girlfriends been distant for almost a week and we had a talk about it and she says she doesn't know what's wrong with her and she just needs space. I didn't do anything to make her like this.
Like everything was fine then BOOM she's all distant
Girls man[/QUOTE]
Hormones?
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;37488754]Is there some sort of endurance training thing I can do so I don't ejaculate all over my girlfriend before I want to?[/QUOTE]
Numbing Condoms, lost the packet at the moment but they really help. Also, when you feel close, just stop, pull out and do something else for a minute or two.
[QUOTE=lotusking;37488850]i wish my girlfriend could actually make me ejaculate[/QUOTE]
Feels bad. Sensitive guys are lucky, lucky in the sense that with practice they can last longer. If you're like you or me, where we can even finish, it sucks, because nothing I do seems to work.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;37488754]Is there some sort of endurance training thing I can do so I don't ejaculate all over my girlfriend before I want to?[/QUOTE]
ball kegels nigga
[QUOTE=cyclocius;37488926]Numbing Condoms, lost the packet at the moment but they really help. Also, when you feel close, just stop, pull out and do something else for a minute or two.[/QUOTE]
How do numbing condoms work?
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37489145]How do numbing condoms work?[/QUOTE]
They have something in them, a solidified gel, I'm guessing they just seep into the penis, not thought too hard about it honestly.
[QUOTE=cyclocius;37489183]They have something in them, a solidified gel, I'm guessing they just seep into the penis, not thought too hard about it honestly.[/QUOTE]
Seems like a bad idea to me, but I guess if they are selling them it can't be to terrible.
(just looked it up reviews though which were a lot of negative too, working too well or numbing the girl as well)
Anyway my suggesting is during sex if you get close just switch positions to something more chill for a while. A lot of the time my bf will get me to switch to on top because I dont really work up enough speed to make him finish but it keeps it pleasurable. I just toy with him and go slow till we switch back.
We haven't been using condoms for ages and that seems to work, but you might just need to get used to not having a condom on also, if that isn't something you do a lot.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37489145]How do numbing condoms work?[/QUOTE]
They most likely have numbing gel inside. Probably not too strong (like the stuff you can get put on the back of your hand before you get a catheter inserted).
[editline]1st September 2012[/editline]
It's been so long and I still miss my ex very much. Was looking over old photos of us together on Facebook and it just makes me miss her. Photos way back in 2010, when we were both still just kids (I was 17 going 18, she was a year younger). Can't believe we spent two years together and now it's over. One of the photos was of us when we went iceskating with our class just before Christmas break. After iceskating, I went home and she went to a shopping mall to wait for her dad to pick her up. I remember getting a call from her 20 minutes after we'd left saying that she was going to be in the mall for an hour, so I told her I was on my way (I lived about 25 minutes walking distance away) and she kept saying no, don't be silly, it's snowing outside.
I don't know how, but I somehow managed to get there in 10 minutes, despite the roads being covered in ice. I remember running along the roads and between cars, I can't believe I didn't slip. When I got there, the smile she gave me was worth being out of breath and tired. She had soup and it made me so happy when she lifted the spoon and fed me some of it. Bah. I wish I could go back.
[editline]1st September 2012[/editline]
Is it pathetic that it's been about two months since she broke up with me, and despite being very hurt, I still want so much just to be with her? I know I can find someone else, especially now that I'm in uni, but I can't help but want to keep my feelings for her. I just don't want to fall for anyone else, because I feel like they wouldn't be able to be what she was to me. Plus, she was with me for two very important years of my life, and she was always a pillar of strength I could rely on. She picked me up on my bad days, and laughed along with me on my good days. I really feel we could end up being together for the rest of our lives, we got on so well. The only thing that came between us was her religious views. That always stopped her from just loving me.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37489299]The only thing that came between us was her religious views. That always stopped her from just loving me.[/QUOTE]
oh boy, you and me are in the same boat on this one buddy
and no, it's not pathetic at all. i wonder if you feel helpless at all, because you wish you could say something inspiring that would melt her heart, but you know you can't because her beliefs are something more important and you have to respect that
I [I]was[/I] in the same boat. I know the reason she dumped me was because it wasn't working for her, because everything about our relationship made her feel guilty. I felt nothing [I]but[/I] helpless during the relationship, because no matter what I did, no matter how sweet or loving I was, I was always met by this cold, hard wall she would throw up that ended up making me feel like perhaps I wasn't doing enough. All my girl friends told me that I was doing more than enough, that perhaps a relationship just wasn't what my girlfriend wanted at the time (I spoke to them because at times, I'd feel so despicably low. I mean, having your SO shout at you for resting your head on her shoulder sort of leaves you in a miserable mood and the best way for me to cope was to ask my girl friends if what I was doing was wrong, or if it was normal for her to not like having my head on her shoulder). Honestly, the amount of times I'd plan for days-on-end to surprise my girlfriend, only for her to thank me and leave it at that. No hug, or kiss. Made me feel like I wasn't doing my job as her SO. Bad times. I remember the worst moment was when I spent ages planning on making her birthday as perfect as it could be. My worst fear was that no one would turn up, making her feel like no one liked her. Thankfully though, loads of people turned up and it turned out to be a great party. I remember she was hugging all her girl friends saying thanks, and when I handed her my present, she thanked me and hesitated. I could see how much she didn't want to hug me, and I couldn't help but feel the only reason she gave in and hugged me was because everyone was looking on and realized that I'd worked so hard to make the birthday nice for her. Ah, my heart felt numb for so long.
Nothing can explain the way your heart feels when you hold your girlfriends hand, see how it makes her feel, how it makes her blush and smile, only for her to pull her hand away and say it makes her feel guilty. Religion, man. Why. I couldn't live life feeling like God would throw me in Hell for just being [I]human.[/I]
I hope your ending works out better than mine buddy.
[editline]1st September 2012[/editline]
Despite everything, she was a great person. She hurt me a lot but I know she didn't mean to. It's just she could never bring herself to be intimate because it would make her feel so guilty.
Hate these episodes where I just miss her so strongly, out of the blue. I caved in and texted her earlier today, but I know she either won't reply, or will tell me to stop texting.
I recently started seeing this girl, but now I'm afraid she likes me more than I like her. Honestly, I'm terrified because for my entire life I've always been on the other end of this and it really sucks. I've heard before that the person who has the most control in a relationship is the one that cares the least, and though it's sad it seems kinda true to me. Not sure what to do.
[QUOTE=atl101;37492000]I recently started seeing this girl, but now I'm afraid she likes me more than I like her. Honestly, I'm terrified because for my entire life I've always been on the other end of this and it really sucks. I've heard before that the person who has the most control in a relationship is the one that cares the least, and though it's sad it seems kinda true to me. Not sure what to do.[/QUOTE]
Why do anything?
I'm open and tolerant of people with strong religious views, so long as those views don't impose on my ability to live my normal day-to-day, but I really don't think I could ever keep up a situation like that. Call me base, but I need intimacy to stay happy in a relationship. Emotional [I]and[/I] physical. As you said, Loops, bein' turned down like that makes you feel like you've done something wrong. It makes you feel inadequate, inappropriate, and unsure of yourself. Worse, those feelings start to drive a wedge into the relationship.
In my ~professional~ opinion, there are three main spheres to a healthy relationship, and they're all equally important:
First, you've got the social foundation of your relationship. It's usually the first thing established, and therefor crucial to developing a deeper connection with whatever dude or dudette you're hoping to romanticize. A strong friendship is the soil that the roots of something more intimate take hold in, you dig? You've got to be able to make each other laugh, find common interests and goals, and find intellectual satisfaction in your conversations (this one is more important than many people seem to realize)!
With a strengthening friendship blossoming, healthy couples will start to explore a more emotional plane. Trust is the word of the day for this topic. You have to make the decision to start letting your partner inside, to a part of yourself that you don't share with many other people. It's not an all-at-once sort of thing, but if you're not sensing any progression towards this deeper, more private and emotional range of connection, then chances are there's a fundamental issue in your relationship that needs to be overcome, or things will begin to feel superficial very quickly.
Lastly, of course, you've got to have sex. I mean, everybody says that sex is just an [I]expression[/I] of intimacy, but it's not; it's a major pillar! Not [I]the[/I] pillar, but certainly a load-bearing one. Without romantic, physical intimacy, relationships will hit a roadblock towards deeper connection and understanding. Again, trust is the foundation of intimacy, and a lack of trust will show in the bedroom. Sex doesn't have to be hurried into, but it has to be there, it has to be moved to. People who view sex between people who care about each other as something shameful or embarrassing are friggen baffling to me, because sex is one of the ultimate expressions of trust and openness! It helps to fertilize the friendship and emotional depth of the relationship as a whole. If there's no sex or romantic intimacy in your relationship, you should start asking yourself what the cause of that might be, because it's generally a sign of a deeper infection.
If your relationship is seriously lacking in any of the above fields, and you'd know if they were, you should start seriously considering whether or not that relationship is actually fulfilling for you. A relationship with friendship and sex, but no emotional trust, might be fun, but it can also be quite frustrating, if you're trying to cultivate a fulfilling, long-term relationship! One with sex and emotional openness, but a shallow social connection, basically just leaves you as a shoulder to cry on, and sex based purely on emotional need and physical attraction has an air of desperation that might leave you feeling a bit guilty. A strong friendship and a deep emotional connection, but no physical intimacy? Well, I think we've all been there at some point, and those who have know exactly how frustrating that can be, if you're looking for romance!
Copyright 2012, "A Healthy Relationship For Dummies: Abridged"
by BDA, armchair love-guru.
BDA, your posts are always written so beautifully. Using beautiful as a word to describe your posts makes me come across as a bit of a ponce, but really, your posts are always written fantastically.
If you ever publish that book, I'd buy it!
[editline]1st September 2012[/editline]
I want to rate heart, I want to rate agree, I want to rate winner. Damn you, why do you make it so hard to decide on a rating for your post? :v:
[editline]1st September 2012[/editline]
Going with agree, because I really do know how frustrating it can be to have a strong friendship and a deep emotional connection with someone you truly care about, yet have your relationship so desperately lacking in physical intimacy.
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