Reading that and thinking, me and my girlfriend need to just [I]talk[/I] more. Not about anything in particular, but just talk and have more intelligent conversations. It seems most of the talking (a lot by text) we do we don't actually say anything, its just exchanging of pleasantries and saying that I have to do x now or something, nothing with substance that actually feels pleasing to talk about.
We don't do as much in person as we used to either. My girlfriend gets worried and anxious so easily, and I know this seems bad, but I can't actually care as much as I used to every time she gets worried, because it happens so frequently and often. When she is really worried or has an anxiety attack, obviously then its very concerning and I do my best to calm her. But during a time when she's worried about exams, unis, her hips (pain her very bad and Dr.s can't work out why) and any other little thing, its difficult to have a nice chilled and intelligent conversation with her, and its getting annoying, because its next to impossible to get her to believe in herself or that things will work out for an extended period of time. It just loops round. She also tries to hide when she's anxious now, but I can always tell, and I'm worried she doesn't want to bother me with her anxiety.
Maybe you should make her sit down with you and have a serious talk. If she has issues she don't want to bother you with, and clearly you care for her and worry anyway, you should deffo have a srstalk.
I know she doesn't have issues as such, it's just when she's getting anxious and maybe starting to get an attack (she doesn't always know why she has them) she ties not to bother me with them, but I can always tell anyway.
I spoke to her about the talking thing and she says she misses when we just used to sit and talk for ages too, and we've both agreed to tey and do it more often.
My relationship is going down a path I'm scared of because it's becoming more intimate and intense because we can't have sex - there's nowhere to do it and I think we need a good bang to get it out of the way. I don't think intensity is a bad thing but I much prefer a casual thing - I think I kinda fear it but at the same time it's good to confront those and see that things aren't bad
it's like reaching that stage where you find there's things you do have to work on and it's not all going to be flowers and roses all the time. That's fine that it's not, so long as you're still having a really good time, which I am but insecurities crop up that you just have to address
Kind of saddens me a little that I never have a propper intellegent conversations with my girlfriend, she's pretty smart and talented, but when it comes to a deep conversations or subjects I just lose her. I'm one of those people who like to ask daft things like "what would happen to the human mind if it was cut off from outside stimulation?" "What are feelings made out of?" and I just get answers like "jam" or whatever. It's like she's never had a good think about anything ever. I remember talking about life after death and after some probing it turns out she's never really thought about what will happen when she dies. Trying to explain principles to her aswell is difficult, like not using other peoples plates and shit (student house) when I tell them not to use mine "but they wont find out" she'll say and the idea of principles just goes straight over her head.
I can't really expect her to be perfect, but you know how it is. As relationships go on everything great about them you start taking for granted, and everything they lack begins to bother you.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;37493657]Kind of saddens me a little that I never have a propper intellegent conversations with my girlfriend, she's pretty smart and talented, but when it comes to a deep conversations or subjects I just lose her. I'm one of those people who like to ask daft things like "what would happen to the human mind if it was cut off from outside stimulation?" "What are feelings made out of?" and I just get answers like "jam" or whatever. It's like she's never had a good think about anything ever. I remember talking about life after death and after some probing it turns out she's never really thought about what will happen when she dies. Trying to explain principles to her aswell is difficult, like not using other peoples plates and shit (student house) when I tell them not to use mine "but they wont find out" she'll say and the idea of principles just goes straight over her head.
I can't really expect her to be perfect, but you know how it is. As relationships go on everything great about them you start taking for granted, and everything they lack begins to bother you.[/QUOTE]
I don't really consider that a fault of hers to be honest, sounds like she just enjoys enjoying herself
Personally I haven't really thought about what happens and the question 'what are feelings made of' is to me a pretty silly question and deserves a silly answer
[QUOTE=loopoo;37488936]Feels bad. Sensitive guys are lucky, lucky in the sense that with practice they can last longer. If you're like you or me, where we can even finish, it sucks, because nothing I do seems to work.[/QUOTE]
I use to have this problem, I think it was just because I wasn't comfortable doing it yet.
those "welcome back" moments are great
[QUOTE=lotusking;37488850]i wish my girlfriend could actually make me ejaculate[/QUOTE]
Didn't you break up with her like 5 days ago?
Enough teasing from my girlfriends side makes ejaculation easy for me, though. Yet, inside her it takes no time, except with a condom.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;37493471]there's nowhere to do it and I think we need a good bang to get it out of the way.[/QUOTE]
I honestly think I've had more sex in public places than in my house or my girlfriends.
The way I did it was think like a graffiti artist trying to find a spot to paint... you want somewhere close to everything but that normal people would have no reason to go.
The only people you might run in to would be someone painting the wall at the time but you just say hi nice art and leave.
[QUOTE=Gravity Ponds;37493873]I honestly think I've had more sex in public places than in my house or my girlfriends.
The way I did it was think like a graffiti artist trying to find a spot to paint... you want somewhere close to everything but that normal people would have no reason to go.
The only people you might run in to would be someone painting the wall at the time but you just say hi nice art and leave.[/QUOTE]
Neither of us are really into that sort of thing, we're pretty private so it'd have to be in a house
So around two days ago on Friday, I decided to courage up and grow a third ball.
I might have posted ages before about how I was athletic and around girls but just never had a relationship.
After I read a few posts of feedback, I decided just to go with it and ask a sports girl out whom I've had a crush on for a few months. Since school started 2 days before I asked her for a date, we got talking like the usual again during this period.
By the lockers I said how she was wearing a pretty dress and looked really adorable. I then said I wanted to ask her out on a date. She said yes and I approached and kissed her. She didn't budge but put her arms around my back and tugged harder. Since we were actually just acquaintances/close to friends type of thing, I didn't know her number, so we exchanged numbers and now we're hooking up on our second date since the first on a Wednesday night before school.
She texted me on Friday night after I asked her out and told me that she also had a slight crush on me and the way I approached and kissed her was really confident and she really liked it because no other guy had done something like what I did.
I guess from this experience one main lesson I learned is just do it, be direct and be confident because it follows through and may win her heart.
Just had to say this out since I am really happy, even more than before (although I wonder why I didn't do it before for all this long). I have thank some members of Facepunch for this. :)
[editline]September 1st 2011[/editline]
By the way for any readers who read this thread from the other forum (Super Social blah blah blah...) I'm sorry for the stupid advice post I posted if you remember.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37495108]wait wait did you kiss her after asking her out on a date or was this after the date
because if you kissed her after asking her out you dodged a massive bullet[/QUOTE]
After I asked her out and she said yes, I directly did it.
that's a bit weird
Weird is good
[editline]1st September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37495197]that's incredibly weird
[editline]1st September 2012[/editline]
then you dodged a bullet because she already had a crush on you
if not you would be in some deeeeeep shit[/QUOTE]
bullshit
When she responded to me, I could see it in her eyes and her lips/smile due to this I just did it. Didn't feel weird to neither me nor her. However I do know it's weird when it's to ask for a date to a girl when we just know each other on the surface. I knew her for around 4 months since I hung out with her and her group of friends, one of my 'girl' friends being my best friend (different to the friendzone).
On our first date she told me that she never expected the immediate kiss because in high school and stuff there's always some sort of stereotype that this is really awkward, etc, etc which everyone agrees to. Before the kiss, she told me that I was drifting under her "friends" list if you get it but then she got really turned on after the kiss.
Not going to college is probably ain't good for your reputation, but that doesn't nessecarily mean you are ought to be broke in the future. Point is, reputation is irrelevant.
It doesn't matter why she agreed to be kissed like that, what does matter is the fact he had made his impression enough to evoke a positive response to such a "surprise kiss". He went after what he wanted, no regrets, no reputation. Good for him :)
[QUOTE=killerteacup;37493471]My relationship is going down a path I'm scared of because it's becoming more intimate and intense because we can't have sex - there's nowhere to do it and I think we need a good bang to get it out of the way. I don't think intensity is a bad thing but I much prefer a casual thing - I think I kinda fear it but at the same time it's good to confront those and see that things aren't bad[/QUOTE]
sorry but that made me laugh a little
"speaking from a purely professional standpoint, we should have sex. like right now. for the sake of our relationship."
Looks guys, something really ticked from her body language that I should really do this and so I did. Her biting her lips, smiling and twirling her fingers around.
I do notice when girls are shy and not really prone to go beyond like this since I talk to them and get to know them, therefore their overall personality. Like I said, for girls I really don't know much about I will never do such a thing. Something from her body language just told me "Come and just kiss me before my psychology class".
why the fuck should I even bother to meet up with her to break up, we both know its over, she didn't even bother telling me when she came back from holiday, and it seems like we only ever talked about things by text anyway. I mean I probably will, unless it comes out through some passive aggressive text exchange. don't think she'll even bother to come out, and I'm not going to do it round her house.
[QUOTE=Deathhunter;37495487]Looks guys, something really ticked from her body language that I should really do this and so I did. Her biting her lips, smiling and twirling her fingers around.
I do notice when girls are shy and not really prone to go beyond like this since I talk to them and get to know them, therefore their overall personality. Like I said, for girls I really don't know much about I will never do such a thing. Something from her body language just told me "Come and just kiss me before my psychology class".[/QUOTE]
Good call.
[QUOTE=Deathhunter;37495487]Looks guys, something really ticked from her body language that I should really do this and so I did. Her biting her lips, smiling and twirling her fingers around.
I do notice when girls are shy and not really prone to go beyond like this since I talk to them and get to know them, therefore their overall personality. Like I said, for girls I really don't know much about I will never do such a thing. Something from her body language just told me "Come and just kiss me before my psychology class".[/QUOTE]
If both you and her were comfortable with it, then ignore us.
For my part, I still haven't found any other girl that ever had feelings for me since the past 7 years. None.
Even today, I wonder what that girl from the past found so special in me that no one else has seen in all these years.
I keep having dreams that my girlfriend is mad at me/abandons me. I'm sick of these dreams and I don't know what they mean, if anything.
Except in one of the dreams I had last night I was flying around a castle full of zombies while swordfighting werewolves, it was pretty badass.
my ex girlfriend still tells me she loves me??
im like we're not in a relationship anymore
and she's like there's no difference between a friendship and relationship...
girls are weird.
[QUOTE=lotusking;37497418]and she's like there's no difference between a friendship and relationship...[/QUOTE]
Use her own words against her, potential friends with benefits right there.
[QUOTE=Upgrade123;37497276]I keep having dreams that my girlfriend is mad at me/abandons me. I'm sick of these dreams and I don't know what they mean, if anything.
Except in one of the dreams I had last night I was flying around a castle full of zombies while swordfighting werewolves, it was pretty badass.[/QUOTE]
It could be that you're scared of her being angry at you or abandoning you. Or you feel like she will. Most dreams like that come from the fear of something.
[QUOTE=phobia-_-;37497979]It could be that you're scared of her being angry at you or abandoning you. Or you feel like she will. Most dreams like that come from the fear of something.[/QUOTE]
not necessarily. dream interpretation and the belief that dreams reveal our true feelings is one of freud's speculations that doesn't hold too much credibility. a lot of the time dreams can be completely irrelevant to our actual feelings toward things.
however, recurring dreams are usually caused by some sort of stress in one's life.
i get dreams like this once in a while even though i've never felt remotely insecure about the relationship i'm currently in.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
