Just broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months. Me living in college on campus over a hour away and her at community college was sorta difficult and I made some terrible mistakes especially one huge one that I regret. It sucks in a way.
You cheated on her?
Had a talk with my girlfriend the other night, saying our intimacy just wasn't the same. All other talks I'd had regarding sex with her I had always come off a bit shallow, there'd be an excuse like her contraceptive rod wasn't working, too tired or she has a headahce. Whenever we did have it, she'd insist it being in the morning which is alright sometimes, but man I prefer it when I'm not when I'm sticky, rough and not had my morning bowl of choco whatevers. We've been together for 4 years and I see her weekly and it's just been inconsistant and a little frustrating with i ntimacy because I wont know when I can expect it, apparently I should be the one to 'intiate it'.
So last week on the second night she stayed, I couldn't really mask my frustration and she persuaded me say what was wrong. I explained it better this time, It wasn't about how often we were having sex like it was stats it was intimacy in general, cuddling in the night so she can drop off just wasn't fun for me. I liked it when she would come over to me, I've been patient, I didn't want to be pushy about it. I know she gets the blues a lot, especially right now because she'd had to move out her mom's but I never really finished that early relationship passion, I was still waiting for her to feel better or have her rod replaced etc. It upset her quite a bit because she always thought things were fine, and yeah I felt pretty shit when I've tried to relax her and give her attention all evening for a bit of activity, and ended up having her cry into my arms because I've dropped this on her. She said it's normal for sex to be infrequent and spaced out, but man we're like 20 not 40.
It's difficult to see it from her perspective and see what stops us just doing it whenever, I mean I don't have as big of a need for sex as say my friends do, but I don't see why we need to stagger it out so much. Am I right for saying this? Because she's listened rather than tried to argue it this time, and I'm seeing her in a day or 2. I mean what is a 'normal' or reasonable amount of initmacy one can expect from their girlfriend? My housemate christ, when his girlfriend over they just fuck all day it's madness, and I'm not comparing our relationship to their's but, I do wonder if I should be expecting more from my own girlfriend.
I've probably written a load of lengthy dribble, but it's good to type it out and articulate it for myself I suppose.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;37617988]Had a talk with my girlfriend the other night, saying our intimacy just wasn't the same. All other talks I'd had regarding sex with her I had always come off a bit shallow, there'd be an excuse like her contraceptive rod wasn't working, too tired or she has a headahce. Whenever we did have it, she'd insist it being in the morning which is alright sometimes, but man I prefer it when I'm not when I'm sticky, rough and not had my morning bowl of choco whatevers. We've been together for 4 years and I see her weekly and it's just been inconsistant and a little frustrating with i ntimacy because I wont know when I can expect it, apparently I should be the one to 'intiate it'.
So last week on the second night she stayed, I couldn't really mask my frustration and she persuaded me say what was wrong. I explained it better this time, It wasn't about how often we were having sex like it was stats it was intimacy in general, cuddling in the night so she can drop off just wasn't fun for me. I liked it when she would come over to me, I've been patient, I didn't want to be pushy about it. I know she gets the blues a lot, especially right now because she'd had to move out her mom's but I never really finished that early relationship passion, I was still waiting for her to feel better or have her rod replaced etc. It upset her quite a bit because she always thought things were fine, and yeah I felt pretty shit when I've tried to relax her and give her attention all evening for a bit of activity, and ended up having her cry into my arms because I've dropped this on her. She said it's normal for sex to be infrequent and spaced out, but man we're like 20 not 40.
It's difficult to see it from her perspective and see what stops us just doing it whenever, I mean I don't have as big of a need for sex as say my friends do, but I don't see why we need to stagger it out so much. Am I right for saying this? Because she's listened rather than tried to argue it this time, and I'm seeing her in a day or 2. I mean what is a 'normal' or reasonable amount of initmacy one can expect from their girlfriend? My housemate christ, when his girlfriend over they just fuck all day it's madness, and I'm not comparing our relationship to their's but, I do wonder if I should be expecting more from my own girlfriend.
I've probably written a load of lengthy dribble, but it's good to type it out and articulate it for myself I suppose.[/QUOTE]
She might be reluctant due to worrying about getting pregnant, if she is having issues with her IUD, has she had a kid? Usually they only recommend them for women who have given birth (when you havent it is more likely to cause heavy bleeding, and more likely to fall out).
Or, maybe it just isn't enjoyable enough for her. Work at foreplay if you don't do it much and maybe you can get her turned on. Or work at trying to pleasure her more or something.
Other than that I guess just respect it if she says no? But maybe try to work her into explaining why she thinks you shouldn't have sex often or why she doesn't want to etc. Maybe there is some problem she isn't mentioning.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37618067]She might be reluctant due to worrying about getting pregnant, if she is having issues with her IUD, has she had a kid? Usually they only recommend them for women who have given birth (when you havent it is more likely to cause heavy bleeding, and more likely to fall out).
Or, maybe it just isn't enjoyable enough for her. Work at foreplay if you don't do it much and maybe you can get her turned on. Or work at trying to pleasure her more or something.
Other than that I guess just respect it if she says no? But maybe try to work her into explaining why she thinks you shouldn't have sex often or why she doesn't want to etc. Maybe there is some problem she isn't mentioning.[/QUOTE]
There's not really an excuse for it in terms of contraception, because she's fine with using condoms, but all she needs to do is go on some pills that have already been recommended to her for having no adverse effects, but she never gets around to sorting it out. She's never had any pregnancy scares either. When she had her rod replaced before it still didn't make a difference.
That's another thing, she rushes sex a bit aswell, I just enjoy having her clothes off for a little bit and messing around before, but she's less interested in that, and she lost interest in me going down her and stuff like that too. It's annoying because we would just do that sort of thing without thinking before, now I actually have to check with what she wants/doesn't wants me to do. I think it's mostly to do with her mood and she can't help that really, but at what point do you say it's too frequently an obstacle? I couldn't emphasise how patient and understanding I've been, she's told me before though in different words that she will always enjoy having it, but it's a case of when she actually wants it.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37602983]I dunno, Johnny, that doesn't sound like such a bad way to wake up.[/QUOTE]
Hung over at 7am is a pretty awful way to wake up
I don't mind it but not under those circumstances. If I have slept 4 hours, I am not a loving boyfriend. I am an angry commissar and she has just called the beloved Emperor a false god. If you throw hungover in there, I can maybe see the horns poking out from her skull and the eight-pointed star tattooed on her chest in the blood of the pious
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37605843]Wasn't it you whom had asked your gf to stop waking you up early and she kept doing it?
and apparently still is, or am I mixing people up a bit?[/QUOTE]
Yeah that was me I think. She is an early bird and I am not and sometimes she just needs attention so she has to cuddle me until I wake up. You'd think how much she hates it when I'm annoyed with her would deter it but you would be very wrong.
What point in a relationship should you ask a girl out?
When you want to be together more? When you really like her? I'm not even sure if I believe in possession.
This girl and I have hooked up a few times and I care about her quite a lot, and she definitely likes me too. I've just been thinking a lot about relationships lately and I'm not so sure I even need to date her, as we have a good thing going now.
i'm pretty sure he is
even if it is a little informal
I'm getting to that post-breakup stage where Im really starting to detest this girl.
We were perfect together for almost 7 months and she fucking ends it like its nothing because one day she woke up and "whoops I lost my feelings for you lol"
Gah
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;37619897]I'm getting to that post-breakup stage where Im really starting to detest this girl.
We were perfect together for almost 7 months and she fucking ends it like its nothing because one day she woke up and "whoops I lost my feelings for you lol"
Gah[/QUOTE]
It happens. It's fine to be upset about it, but don't be too hateful toward her. It's not as though you really control your feelings too much.
At least she had the nuts to end it and didn't fuck around behind your back or something.
[QUOTE=JohnnyMo1;37620126]It happens. It's fine to be upset about it, but don't be too hateful toward her. It's not as though you really control your feelings too much.
At least she had the nuts to end it and didn't fuck around behind your back or something.[/QUOTE]
its just frustrating ya know. Im trying not to hate her but just dislike her a little bit to the point where I'm not worrying about it all the time.
[editline]10th September 2012[/editline]
This is something I daydream about. I just wanna take this picture of my ex and I with a long note on it from her that basically says "I miss you, cant wait to be back with you, etc etc, Love gf" and put the picture in an envelope with a note inside that says "WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS", and slide it under her apartment door.
I know it'd probably cause a shitstorm for me but still
well friend texted me first today (shocker!) and we've been talking and we're actually having a bit more deep conversation than normal. its really nice because honestly, we've never really had a "deep" talk before or at least not in a while.
i have other friends who know almost every little thing about me and she knows quite a bit about me but not enough you know? i feel like we should know each other even better
anyway its nice and im happy
[QUOTE=BlazeFresh;37614029]why would a cop check you in your car and tell you to take her home, you're not doing anything wrong? Do you live in the US? Ive heard cops are more prone to doing shit like that there.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37616344]i think it counts as public indecency and is thus a misdemeanor[/QUOTE]
No, he didn't say anything about that. He said the reason he came to check us out was because it was a parking lot of a local lake and you're not supposed to be in a park after 10 pm. That's also a misdemeanor.
Believe me or not a girl just asked me if I wanted to be friends with benefits with her. All she told me was that she has never had anything sexual happen to her that is why she wanted to be friends with benefits. You guys must hate me for this, but I turned it down. She was oozing of desperation and she was too sweet of a person. I gave her some advice and told her to be careful if she asks any other guy. I haven't told anyone about this in respect for her. By the way we're in highschool.
ok
[QUOTE=gooldude;37621282]Believe me or not a girl just asked me if I wanted to be friends with benefits with her. All she told me was that she has never had anything sexual happen to her that is why she wanted to be friends with benefits. You guys must hate me for this, but I turned it down. She was oozing of desperation and she was too sweet of a person. I gave her some advice and told her to be careful if she asks any other guy. I haven't told anyone about this in respect for her. By the way we're in highschool.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like the right thing to me! Although you could always ask her out if you wanted, would solve that problem :v:
butthole
why don't we have both?
thisiscasanova
buttbaby assboner
this is literally the chillest thread on FP.
its filled with the chillest people.
like me
butthole sr.
Tightest butthole?
I have a real problem guys.
So my girlfriend and I have been dating a little over a year. We both work and have school now, so we get to see each other maybe once a week. Even then, we're so constrained by time that we never really do anything. She brought this up to me tonight, and she was really upset. She wants to actually do things, not just sit around. The problem is, the two of us kind of hate everything. And we're poor as shit.
In a nutshell, we've run out of things to do on the occasion that we see each other, yet we don't like doing things. Are we just to cynical for our own good? What should we do?
[QUOTE=gooldude;37621282]Believe me or not a girl just asked me if I wanted to be friends with benefits with her. All she told me was that she has never had anything sexual happen to her that is why she wanted to be friends with benefits. You guys must hate me for this, but I turned it down. She was oozing of desperation and she was too sweet of a person. I gave her some advice and told her to be careful if she asks any other guy. I haven't told anyone about this in respect for her. By the way we're in highschool.[/QUOTE]
oh my god why would you do this
Met a really nice girl while on vacation in Spain, we talk everyday now but are 1600km away from eachother. feelsbadman
[QUOTE=Estolle93;37626049]I have a real problem guys.
So my girlfriend and I have been dating a little over a year. We both work and have school now, so we get to see each other maybe once a week. Even then, we're so constrained by time that we never really do anything. She brought this up to me tonight, and she was really upset. She wants to actually do things, not just sit around. The problem is, the two of us kind of hate everything. And we're poor as shit.
In a nutshell, we've run out of things to do on the occasion that we see each other, yet we don't like doing things. Are we just to cynical for our own good? What should we do?[/QUOTE]
Everytime you see a thing you wouldn't mind doing or a situation write it down on a list on your phone
me and my girlfriend do that, we literally have about a list of 40 things we'd still love to do which includes various events such as wine, cheese and cluedo all at the same time
alternatively, find a thing to learn together, or a thing to do together regularly. We get fit, another couple I know had it so that the girlfriend would teach the boyfriend Greek because she was greek.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37627203]a spanish childhood friend taught her boyfriend spanish and now i can't discuss how shitty he is with my other spanish friend while he is there any more
[editline]11th September 2012[/editline]
i know it sounds mean but her boyfriend is a drag[/QUOTE]
Hmm. Learn French?
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37627203]a spanish childhood friend taught her boyfriend spanish and now i can't discuss how shitty he is with my other spanish friend while he is there any more
[editline]11th September 2012[/editline]
i know it sounds mean but her boyfriend is a drag[/QUOTE]
Any time anybody is speaking a different language around me, I wonder if they're doing this. I need to learn another language, just so I can be sure everybody who speaks it is only saying positive things about me.
Is this an underline genuine concern, or a joke?
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