woo, finally past the "ehh i don't really like my ex that much because she's my ex" thing i was feeling and I'm friends with her again. It's a good feeling tbh.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37628020]Any time anybody is speaking a different language around me, I wonder if they're doing this. I need to learn another language, just so I can be sure everybody who speaks it is only saying positive things about me.[/QUOTE]
This is why I love being Welsh, it's such an obscure and dying language that if I think someones talking about me in a foreign language I just start speaking Welsh, and then nobody knows what the shit I'm saying.
[QUOTE=Greendead;37648585]Guys, I finally found a girl that might become my girlfriend.
Well, yesterday we kissed and hugged, it was a perfect evening. But now I'm in kind of dilema because I'm not quite sure what to do from here on. Should I call her or wait a day? I'll see her tomorrow, because we are going to play some paintball. So I was thinking that maybe I shouldn't really call her today, so that she won't think that I'm somekind of a freak. Calling her everyday and shit.
Also can I tell my friends what happened? Or should I wait to see if this works out? I would really need someone to talk to and facepunch is only place to seek for help.
Help me facepunch, I'm in love and I don't want to lose it.[/QUOTE]
Probably late on this, but I always find it best to wait before calling, I know it's tempting but it probably wouldn't do anything to improve your chances, just better to play it safe and cool. Also I wouldn't I talk to your friends about it until you're deffinetly in there, they get over excited about it and curious, which can end up screwing everything up. It also makes it more difficult for you if things don't work out.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;37662403]Probably late on this, but I always find it best to wait before calling, I know it's tempting but it probably wouldn't do anything to improve your chances, just better to play it safe and cool. Also I wouldn't I talk to your friends about it until you're deffinetly in there, they get over excited about it and curious, which can end up screwing everything up. It also makes it more difficult for you if things don't work out.[/QUOTE]
Well, there's one thing I did wrong. I told my friend. But he's not mocking me, he's quite supportive and thinks like me.
But now it's going quite well. Yesterday at 1AM we were talking on Facebook and we somehow managed to get together outside and be with each other for 2 hours. We hugged and kissed the whole 2 hours. Amazing night. Today I went out with her again to play some paintball and now I'm going to some party with her again. But I was thinking for tomorrow to give her some space although she wants to be with me a lot. I don't want to be with her too much (actually I do), so that she doesn't get bored too fast. Or should I do the opposite? Go out with her every chance I get?
It's quite interesting what's happening. I mean 3 days ago I was still single and now this. It's quite a shock after 5 years of long relationship. I have to get used to it I guess.
P.S: We are not showing our relationship in public (yet?)
Should be alright, you'll only run into issues if your friend talks to others about it, or starts talking to the girl trying to put a good word in for you, but it sounds to me like you're at a stage where that sort of thing wont matter, and it depends on your friends too. I prefer to keep potential relationships to myself until I'm comfortable with where they're going, don't really like other people passing on disinformation about it and peole still expecting me to be in a relationship when it didn't work out that way.
If she asks you to come see her tomorrow then you should go for it, I personally try to avoid rushing or being impatient to see someone, but when they want to see you too then why not? So try not to feel there's a clock ticking with this, if she's right for you then you shouldn't need to worry about it too much. Thing is with girls, probably people in general really, is that if you're always available and wanting to see them they take you for granted a little, but if they're under the impression you're someone they can lose if not treaten right then they'll make the effort to keep you. You want to meet halfway with them, they're in the same boat as you remember, and as much as I dislike fakery I do think in this situation you want to come as easy going and not overly worried about when you're seeing them or not. Hope that's helpful.
[QUOTE=JohnnyGoGo;37666165]Should be alright, you'll only run into issues if your friend talks to others about it, or starts talking to the girl trying to put a good word in for you, but it sounds to me like you're at a stage where that sort of thing wont matter, and it depends on your friends too. I prefer to keep potential relationships to myself until I'm comfortable with where they're going, don't really like other people passing on disinformation about it and peole still expecting me to be in a relationship when it didn't work out that way.
If she asks you to come see her tomorrow then you should go for it, I personally try to avoid rushing or being impatient to see someone, but when they want to see you too then why not? So try not to feel there's a clock ticking with this, if she's right for you then you shouldn't need to worry about it too much. Thing is with girls, probably people in general really, is that if you're always available and wanting to see them they take you for granted a little, but if they're under the impression you're someone they can lose if not treaten right then they'll make the effort to keep you. You want to meet halfway with them, they're in the same boat as you remember, and as much as I dislike fakery I do think in this situation you want to come as easy going and not overly worried about when you're seeing them or not. Hope that's helpful.[/QUOTE]
That is very helpful, thank you.
You're right. We are both interested in seeing each other and today I invited her for some tennis. Actually, she asked me first. I'll start working in 2 days again, so I might not see her as much as I can now, so I'll make sure these last 2 days won't go to waste. It's all happening so fast.
Yesterday we already kissed and hugged in public, which I never did with my previous girl.
What's so funny?
see i think its sarcasm, but i hope not because thats more funny
Friend suggest using 'Have I seen you before?' As a pickup
Tips?
Opener is for the most part irrelevant, you can start conversations with a hand gesture if you want.
How do you target a chick in a group of chicks/friends anyway
[QUOTE=mr kjerr;37648840]ladies and gentlemen please keep in mind this is someone who has never been in an actual relationship and whos girlfriend is a massive whore who cheats on him 24/7, if you take dating advice from this man you might as well put a gun to your significant others head because thats basically what you're doing.[/QUOTE]
:rolleyes:
[QUOTE=shian;37673992]Friend suggest using 'Have I seen you before?' As a pickup
Tips?[/QUOTE]
it's a stupid opener, its asking them a question which only you know the answer to. A more rational question would be 'have you seen me before?' but thats just weird.
[QUOTE=shian;37673992]Friend suggest using 'Have I seen you before?' As a pickup
Tips?[/QUOTE]
just saying hi is a lot better and will make you sound a lot less stupid
if someone came up to me and said "have you seen me before" i'd probably just roll my eyes. just say a simple hi.
[QUOTE=shian;37673992]Friend suggest using 'Have I seen you before?' As a pickup
Tips?[/QUOTE]
The only reason I wouldn't see myself using it is because it then It'd sound like it would have a cheesy ending, like one of those "Did you fall from the sky? Because you look like an angel" type of thing
Otherwise it doesn't really matter as long as you know how to follow it
[editline]15th September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=shian;37674227]How do you target a chick in a group of chicks/friends anyway[/QUOTE]
you talk to the chick
[QUOTE=D3TBS;37674575]The only reason I wouldn't see myself using it is because it then It'd sound like it would have a cheesy ending, like one of those "Did you fall from the sky? Because you look like an angel" type of thing
Otherwise it doesn't really matter as long as you know how to follow it
[editline]15th September 2012[/editline]
you talk to the chick[/QUOTE]
Well I know, but how do you make it so the chick focus on you and not get affected by friends.
Like cockblocked.
if you know how to make a conversation interesting and engaging, you shouldn't really have too much problems. Then you can take her somewhere else, a bit away from the group. If a guy comes in or something just act cool
Please see my thread, I have a very serious issue:
[url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1212155[/url]
[QUOTE=Dave_Parker;37673600]"We kissed and hugged in public she's the one guys"[/QUOTE]
I said that wrong. I wanted to say that I never did that with my ex-girlfriend because she didn't want anyone to know we were together, so It's quite special for me.
I didn't mean to say she's the one, I know it's way to early to say that.
I'm pretty sure everyone has that first 'one' girl who they have their first meaningful relationship with, some have them earlier than others. Because that's how I interpretted it, not the one you'll marry and shit.
[QUOTE=Greendead;37676453]I said that wrong. I wanted to say that I never did that with my ex-girlfriend because [b]she didn't want anyone to know we were together,[/b] so It's quite special for me.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Greendead;37665778]It's quite a shock after [b]5 years[/b] of long relationship.[/QUOTE]
lol wow
How do you deal with shy girls if you want to move into a relationship?
I've already hung out with her a bunch, and gone to coffee, lunch and watched a movie and some stuff a couple times in my residence and I told her I have a romantic interest in her and she said she does too... but now what.
[QUOTE=bull3tmagn3t;37678181]How do you deal with shy girls if you want to move into a relationship?
I've already hung out with her a bunch, and gone to coffee, lunch and watched a movie and some stuff a couple times in my residence and I told her I have a romantic interest in her and she said she does too... but now what.[/QUOTE]
You deepen the connection and try to make it 'official'. How long have you been dating?
[QUOTE=bull3tmagn3t;37678181]How do you deal with shy girls if you want to move into a relationship?
I've already hung out with her a bunch, and gone to coffee, lunch and watched a movie and some stuff a couple times in my residence and I told her I have a romantic interest in her and she said she does too... but now what.[/QUOTE]
do sex
[QUOTE=bull3tmagn3t;37678181]she said she does too... but now what.[/QUOTE]
That's the point where you go for a hug, and see if she's open for a kiss.. and go for it if it seems like she is.
Edit: Or do a sex on her.
[QUOTE=bull3tmagn3t;37678181]How do you deal with shy girls if you want to move into a relationship?
I've already hung out with her a bunch, and gone to coffee, lunch and watched a movie and some stuff a couple times in my residence and I told her I have a romantic interest in her and she said she does too... but now what.[/QUOTE]
Honestly, there is nothing that can go wrong now. Just wait for a great opportunity and make a move, start slowly kissing her when the time is right or when you have this "feeling". By feeling I mean the situation where you feel like you an her are the only thing that matter in the world and that everything is forgotten.
[editline]16th September 2012[/editline]
Well that is how I usually do it, I do not ask like "Are we now together?" or "Are we a couple?".
I just go for a move, if she really likes you she will do the same.
[QUOTE=Seith;37674026]Opener is for the most part irrelevant, you can start conversations with a hand gesture if you want.[/QUOTE]
Challenge: start a conversation with the "wanker" hand gesture in front of your pelvis and not getting punched in the face by the girl's boyfriend.
Well, my girlfriend just broke up with me today. It must have been two months.
She just couldn't handle the long distance part of it, since I moved. Gas is too expensive, and homework rarely let us talk to each other. Though, it wasn't painful. I respected the decision well because she wasn't a total douche about it like my last ex. She was upfront and straightforward. That's all I could ask for in a breakup.
Oh well. I live in a new place with new opportunities. There are girls all around me.
I'm in the land of opportunity!
[img]http://sadpanda.us/images/1210658-S7PJERT.png[/img]
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;37681895]Challenge: start a conversation with the "wanker" hand gesture in front of your pelvis and not getting punched in the face by the girl's boyfriend.[/QUOTE]
what he said is true, but it would apply for people with common sense
Was browsing General for once, saw this, figured I'd try here. I don't know what to do in my current situation and it's ripping me apart inside, so I wanted some opinions on it. Sorry if it's long.
Long story short: Met a girl in March. She had a boyfriend. We talked more and more over the next few months. Eventually said she really likes me. She broke up with her abusive, asshole boyfriend. Next month or so, I got around first, second, third, and recently home base. She was shy, told me she usually takes a while to warm up to a guy like that (and before me only in an 'official' relationship).
Problem starts here: I asked her out after waiting a little while after her breakup. She declined. I asked why. She said she wasn't ready yet. At this point I had gotten to second base. I thought, I'll give her some more time. A month or so later (the past week), she started saying she loves me, started kissing me, and we fucked, so I asked her out again. Seemed pretty official already, so I was mostly doing it for confirmation. She declined again. I asked why. At first she wouldn't really tell me, so after some prodding she told me that she was 'afraid of being hurt again' (because her previous three relationships all crashed and burned), but that excuse seemed fake as fuck. Something's wrong. I told her I could tell that it was something else, but she just sidestepped me and refused to talk about it. I haven't seen her since Sunday, when that happened. She doesn't want to talk about it when we're on the phone/texting (though she still calls me all the time). We're going to hang out again tomorrow and she's told me that she really wants to fuck again. We live about an hour apart and gas is expensive, so I can't just pop on over there all the time, hence these 'scheduled' hangouts.
So...I don't know what's going on here. I've been played by a girl before so I have trust issues, but she's been played by a guy and is the same; she gets extremely jealous if she thinks I'm so much as looking at another girl. At the same time, though, she has a lot of guy friends; she's a pretty big nerd and very un-girl-like usually, so she usually gets along with nerdy guys. She tells me all the time that guys hit on her constantly; some of the nerds she met at her new college have already tried to get in her pants. (She's very, very pretty, even though she doesn't think so.) The part that bothers the fuck out of me, though, is that she befriends them anyway. And then she's bewildered as to why that makes me upset. And then she hung out with her ex-boyfriend again for the first time in a while a few days ago. She was slow to admit that she did that, and afterwards was sort of distant from me. Hesitant to tell me that she loves me.
I had a theory that maybe she didn't actually break up with him hard enough. As in, he still believed he was with her. He didn't remove their relationship from his Facebook status (and neither did she, but she goes on Facebook maybe once a month, if that - her profile still has an old job that she no longer works at on it and her last status post was ages ago). I asked her if this was the case, because I don't want to be used, but she denied it very seriously. She told me that when she and her ex hung out, she told him about me. She said she cried a lot, though didn't give much detail. She also said she was sort of looking for his approval. What? I asked her why that matters, and that upset her. We haven't talked about it since.
Also, she hung out with him again today. Assures me that 'nothing's going on'. Continues to act distant and unwilling to talk seriously.
So...I don't know what to do. She's suddenly playing very hard-to-get. Best way to get answers from her is in-person, and I see her tomorrow. It'll hurt pretty bad if I do since this is only the second girl I've gotten close with, but should I get the hell out of this situation if she still won't give me some answers? I'm just such a mess thinking about this all the time. I really love her; she's so much fun to be around and we really get along well. She tells me I make her very happy and that she wants to be with me a lot...and then when it comes to giving the actual answer, she won't. What's going on?
[QUOTE=Shugo;37682843]Was browsing General for once, saw this, figured I'd try here. I don't know what to do in my current situation and it's ripping me apart inside, so I wanted some opinions on it. Sorry if it's long.
Long story short: Met a girl in March. She had a boyfriend. We talked more and more over the next few months. Eventually said she really likes me. She broke up with her abusive, asshole boyfriend. Next month or so, I got around first, second, third, and recently home base. She was shy, told me she usually takes a while to warm up to a guy like that (and before me only in an 'official' relationship).
Problem starts here: I asked her out after waiting a little while after her breakup. She declined. I asked why. She said she wasn't ready yet. At this point I had gotten to second base. I thought, I'll give her some more time. A month or so later (the past week), she started saying she loves me, started kissing me, and we fucked, so I asked her out again. Seemed pretty official already, so I was mostly doing it for confirmation. She declined again. I asked why. At first she wouldn't really tell me, so after some prodding she told me that she was 'afraid of being hurt again' (because her previous three relationships all crashed and burned), but that excuse seemed fake as fuck. Something's wrong. I told her I could tell that it was something else, but she just sidestepped me and refused to talk about it. I haven't seen her since Sunday, when that happened. She doesn't want to talk about it when we're on the phone/texting (though she still calls me all the time). We're going to hang out again tomorrow and she's told me that she really wants to fuck again. We live about an hour apart and gas is expensive, so I can't just pop on over there all the time, hence these 'scheduled' hangouts.
So...I don't know what's going on here. I've been played by a girl before so I have trust issues, but she's been played by a guy and is the same; she gets extremely jealous if she thinks I'm so much as looking at another girl. At the same time, though, she has a lot of guy friends; she's a pretty big nerd and very un-girl-like usually, so she usually gets along with nerdy guys. She tells me all the time that guys hit on her constantly; some of the nerds she met at her new college have already tried to get in her pants. (She's very, very pretty, even though she doesn't think so.) The part that bothers the fuck out of me, though, is that she befriends them anyway. And then she's bewildered as to why that makes me upset. And then she hung out with her ex-boyfriend again for the first time in a while a few days ago. She was slow to admit that she did that, and afterwards was sort of distant from me. Hesitant to tell me that she loves me.
I had a theory that maybe she didn't actually break up with him hard enough. As in, he still believed he was with her. He didn't remove their relationship from his Facebook status (and neither did she, but she goes on Facebook maybe once a month, if that - her profile still has an old job that she no longer works at on it and her last status post was ages ago). I asked her if this was the case, because I don't want to be used, but she denied it very seriously. She told me that when she and her ex hung out, she told him about me. She said she cried a lot, though didn't give much detail. She also said she was sort of looking for his approval. What? I asked her why that matters, and that upset her. We haven't talked about it since.
Also, she hung out with him again today. Assures me that 'nothing's going on'. Continues to act distant and unwilling to talk seriously.
So...I don't know what to do. She's suddenly playing very hard-to-get. Best way to get answers from her is in-person, and I see her tomorrow. It'll hurt pretty bad if I do since this is only the second girl I've gotten close with, but should I get the hell out of this situation if she still won't give me some answers? I'm just such a mess thinking about this all the time. I really love her; she's so much fun to be around and we really get along well. She tells me I make her very happy and that she wants to be with me a lot...and then when it comes to giving the actual answer, she won't. What's going on?[/QUOTE]
Shes Crazy; Abort Mission. :v:
In all seriousness, say how you feel. I personally wouldnt want to be in a relationship with someone thats being cryptic as shit.
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