[QUOTE=T2L_Goose;35182188]Dumped because she thinks her ex boyfriend (who she apparently wasn't completely over, even though she said she was) has changed. For fucks sake.[/QUOTE]
Wow, that fucking sucks.
[QUOTE=T2L_Goose;35182188]Dumped because she thinks her ex boyfriend (who she apparently wasn't completely over, even though she said she was) has changed. For fucks sake.[/QUOTE]
Been there, mate. It's tough!
And now she's telling me that she's going back with him because she doesn't think she deserves me because she's suicidal and so is he and that she's just condemning herself so she feels less guilty when she finally does kill herself. I told her that she can be happy and that I can show her that, but she just asked me "what if I don't want to be happy".
I'm really worried about her but what the hell do I do at this point holy shit. I've been there for her through tons of problems. I talked her out of cutting one night and had her willingly surrender the razor to me. I come from a different world than she does, sure, but that doesn't mean she has to stick with people who hurt her and bring her down into that hole again. It's so frustrating and tragic when you lend a helping hand and want to show someone that the world isn't so bad, yet they don't want to believe it and refuse to let themselves be happy.
I want to get her help, but her family has no health insurance.
I'm hanging in there by a thread for this girl. I don't want to give up on her, but I'm running out of options.
Now she just told me she wants to put a gun in her mouth. what the fuck do I do.
What the HELL am I supposed to do about nerves? Girlfriend and I decided we wanted to try something new, so she agreed to giving me a blow job. Problem is, I could not come, until I did it myself. I'm guessing because I was nervous.
She has definite issues when it comes to new things and being nervous. I was also nervous seeing as it was our first time doing that.
Point is, we're both asking for some advice here. Me, on how to come, and her for some basic tips.
Appreciated.
So this thread is kind of awesome, ready for a wall of text? My story in a nutshell:
August of 2010: Met this chick two months before she was going off to college (450 miles away) we both had an amazing time together, after 3 weeks of hanging out I get up the courage to ask her out and we start dating. She goes off to school a month later and we begin the long distance thing. First six months are awesome, I see her on her breaks and also venture down there for myself. We talk and decide I should move down so we can be together.
June of 2011: She comes back home for summer after 1 week things go to shit, we never see each other, we don't talk. It pretty much came down to a weekly date kind of thing, anyways the relationship is fading we both knew it. However I was determined that I could fix it and decide to still move down to be with her.
October of 2011: Things are unfathomably shitty, I decide I can't waste my time trying to be with her and that she will never work up the courage to break up with me. I decide a week after I moved to be with her that I have to break up with her. Woohoo now I'm 450 miles away from home with no one around that I know, time to rebuild a life. Luckily I secured a job before I moved here.
I felt like I needed to give you guys some background in order to help you see my perspective on this current situation.
After this fiasco I decided to give online dating a shot, I figured I had nothing to lose I don't know anyone around here. Plus I'm not going to school so there's nothing that forces me to be around my peers, and the fact that I work in construction means that I'm around even less females. I started my OKcupid profile around November and pretty much let it sit there untouched, I got a few messages but nothing ever came of it. I met one chick but nothing came of it. January 1st I decided that I was going to start putting effort into this site. I took some nicer pictures, redid my profile, tired really hard to make myself appealing to the type of girl I wanted to attract.
That day finally came in late February, I received a message from a girl that seemed damn near perfect. Her first message was well thought out, had complete sentences, no stupid acronyms, everything was in order. Seeing this I quickly visited her profile and was very excited, this was exactly the type chick that I was going for. I message her back and we quickly start talking and becoming comfortable with each other. After 2 or so days of messaging I decide that it's time to ask her out, she is quick to accept and gives me times that she is free. I replied with a time that worked for both of us and didn't get anything back for a day or so. That day turned into a week, so now me being discouraged sit there and ponder what to do next.
Keep in mind at this point I've been living here for 5 months and still have no friends or anyone really.
About 9 days after my last message to her I decided to give it one more shot, I send her another message just asking what's up. She replied rather quickly this time so I figured I would just forget about the past and ask her out again. This time it prevailed, she gave me her phone number and her address to pick her up at this time it was happening.
Friday night arrived, I'll have to say that I was pretty nervous, I mean who wouldn't be meeting someone the met online? I arrive at her place and to my pleasant surprise she's even more beautiful than in her pictures, I can only hope she's thinking the same of me. As soon as we got in my car to go to dinner, we hit it off. Talking to her was easy, we were laughing already, it's everything that you hope for in a first date. Skipping ahead, dinner is coming to a close and I offer to take her to dessert of course things are still going so well that she gladly accepts. Next thing I know, we're outside the frozen yogurt shop enjoying our dessert when she offers to go back to her apartment. All I can think now is that "I've done it."
Back at her apartment things continue, we're sitting on her couch, she comes in a little closer. This is my time to make my move. I go in for a kiss and without hesitation she closes the gap. We draw back for a second looking at each other, I decide to gently touch her arm she comes in for another kiss, still touching her arm I draw her in and she decides to climb on my lap. Things progress for a moment until her roommate opens the door and she quickly jumps off me. After her roommate has left she rests her head on my shoulder and we cuddle for a moment, enjoying the embrace. Then the kissing begins once again, at this point I wanted to see how far I could take this, she seemed more than willing and I haven't been with someone for over 6 months now. First I grabbed her butt, no contest, I worked my way up to her breasts still no contest, even putting my hands under her shirt and taking off her bra she does not protest. If I've gotten this far I might as well take it home right? I open her legs just a little bit start rubbing the insides and go for it. I start massaging her, she starts breathing heavily and kisses me more intensely. The last move to make, only her belt stands in my way.
As I grab her belt she stops me, I figured "well at least I got this far on the first date w00t!", she climbs back on my lap and says "There's something, well two things you need to know before you make moves in that direction.". Here's where I start saying "I'm sorry it's just been so long since I've been with someone I got excited.". She interrupts "No it's fine really, it's just that I've been raped before so I'm kind of uneasy about sexual things.". I reply that I understand because my previous girlfriend had also been raped, that seemed to comfort her a little bit. "So here's the second thing, I hope it's not a deal breaker, but I have HSV Type 1 'down there'.". Apparently she got it from some guy who went down on her.
At this point she climbed off me and sat next to me, I told her it wasn't a deal breaker, because it really isn't that hard to avoid transmission. This next part coming up was by far the best part of the night, she laid down and I did so next to her with my head on her chest, I could hear her heart beat. She kissed me on top of my head and started playing with my hair while we once again just enjoyed the embrace of one another. I can't describe the comfort, and the overall sense of joy I felt that moment, to have someone lovingly embrace me and to have someone to hold like that after such a shitty relationship wast the most comforting thing in the world.
Midnight was drawing closer I felt that I should be on my way when she mentioned this: "You know you don't have to leave right?". Holy shit, the first date and I've already got this girl to want me to spend the night? How did I get so damn lucky? However after much debate in my head I decided that I should actually leave, reason being if anything sexual did happen, which it most likely would have, I wasn't prepared to deal with the risk of being infected with an incurable disease.
I left feeling the best I have felt since I moved down here, things were finally in my favor. The following Tuesday I get a call from her around 11:30 PM and she tells me this: "So some crazy shit happened today, a guy that I had previously invested a lot of time into and like a lot asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm sorry but I still really want to be your friend, I had an amazing time on our date but I also understand if you never want to talk to me again.". I told her that yeah this definitely sucks but give me some time to decide. About 5 days later I call her up telling her that yeah I'm ready to be her friend, ecstatic she invites me to a show she's putting on, a cabaret.
I arrive at the show and I have to say that for a student performance it was pretty awesome, after the show she meets me and I congratulate her. She told me that I could be part of this too if I wanted and that she wants to hang out again very soon. I left because she had so many people trying to grab her attention I felt it was best to leave then.
I'm now at a crossroads, I want to keep her as a friend because I do genuinely think that she's an awesome person that I want to spend time with. What I don't want to happen is for my ego to get in the way of everything and try to win her back or something. I have a history of becoming attached to women who show interest in me fairly quickly so right now I'm treading water. Then there's also the fact that I don't have any friends down here besides her. I could use her (that sounds really cruel but I don't mean it to be) and her show to develop friend ships. She could be my key to living happily down here, but I'm absolutely terrified.
After all that I just have a question, is there a way to keep yourself from getting attached to a girl?
tl;dr: Moved 450 miles on a broken relationship, don't know anyone. Started online dating, met awesome girl. Had an amazing first date, the point where she was asking me to spend the night. Four days later another guy steals her. I now have to decide if I should keep her as a friend in order to expand my friend base, which is currently 0. Or drop her because I'm afraid I'll become attached to her.
Fuck.
[QUOTE=T2L_Goose;35183133]And now she's telling me that she's going back with him because she doesn't think she deserves me because she's suicidal and so is he and that she's just condemning herself so she feels less guilty when she finally does kill herself. I told her that she can be happy and that I can show her that, but she just asked me "what if I don't want to be happy".
I'm really worried about her but what the hell do I do at this point holy shit. I've been there for her through tons of problems. I talked her out of cutting one night and had her willingly surrender the razor to me. I come from a different world than she does, sure, but that doesn't mean she has to stick with people who hurt her and bring her down into that hole again. It's so frustrating and tragic when you lend a helping hand and want to show someone that the world isn't so bad, yet they don't want to believe it and refuse to let themselves be happy.
I want to get her help, but her family has no health insurance.
I'm hanging in there by a thread for this girl. I don't want to give up on her, but I'm running out of options.
Now she just told me she wants to put a gun in her mouth. what the fuck do I do.[/QUOTE]
Women tend to get emotional rather than rational most of the time.... If she wanted to put a gun in her mouth, she would have already instead of wasting her time getting attention.
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=dmillerw;35187048]What the HELL am I supposed to do about nerves? Girlfriend and I decided we wanted to try something new, so she agreed to giving me a blow job. Problem is, I could not come, until I did it myself. I'm guessing because I was nervous.
She has definite issues when it comes to new things and being nervous. I was also nervous seeing as it was our first time doing that.
Point is, we're both asking for some advice here. Me, on how to come, and her for some basic tips.
Appreciated.[/QUOTE]
It's immersion my friend. You need to understand comfort plays a role in sex. Light candles, put some perfume, massage her a bit... invest in the 4play. When you both are fully immersed, it will just happen and your inhibitions will disappear.
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=sangara;35187588]So this thread is kind of awesome, ready for a wall of text? My story in a nutshell:
August of 2010: Met this chick two months before she was going off to college (450 miles away) we both had an amazing time together, after 3 weeks of hanging out I get up the courage to ask her out and we start dating. She goes off to school a month later and we begin the long distance thing. First six months are awesome, I see her on her breaks and also venture down there for myself. We talk and decide I should move down so we can be together.
June of 2011: She comes back home for summer after 1 week things go to shit, we never see each other, we don't talk. It pretty much came down to a weekly date kind of thing, anyways the relationship is fading we both knew it. However I was determined that I could fix it and decide to still move down to be with her.
October of 2011: Things are unfathomably shitty, I decide I can't waste my time trying to be with her and that she will never work up the courage to break up with me. I decide a week after I moved to be with her that I have to break up with her. Woohoo now I'm 450 miles away from home with no one around that I know, time to rebuild a life. Luckily I secured a job before I moved here.
I felt like I needed to give you guys some background in order to help you see my perspective on this current situation.
After this fiasco I decided to give online dating a shot, I figured I had nothing to lose I don't know anyone around here. Plus I'm not going to school so there's nothing that forces me to be around my peers, and the fact that I work in construction means that I'm around even less females. I started my OKcupid profile around November and pretty much let it sit there untouched, I got a few messages but nothing ever came of it. I met one chick but nothing came of it. January 1st I decided that I was going to start putting effort into this site. I took some nicer pictures, redid my profile, tired really hard to make myself appealing to the type of girl I wanted to attract.
That day finally came in late February, I received a message from a girl that seemed damn near perfect. Her first message was well thought out, had complete sentences, no stupid acronyms, everything was in order. Seeing this I quickly visited her profile and was very excited, this was exactly the type chick that I was going for. I message her back and we quickly start talking and becoming comfortable with each other. After 2 or so days of messaging I decide that it's time to ask her out, she is quick to accept and gives me times that she is free. I replied with a time that worked for both of us and didn't get anything back for a day or so. That day turned into a week, so now me being discouraged sit there and ponder what to do next.
Keep in mind at this point I've been living here for 5 months and still have no friends or anyone really.
About 9 days after my last message to her I decided to give it one more shot, I send her another message just asking what's up. She replied rather quickly this time so I figured I would just forget about the past and ask her out again. This time it prevailed, she gave me her phone number and her address to pick her up at this time it was happening.
Friday night arrived, I'll have to say that I was pretty nervous, I mean who wouldn't be meeting someone the met online? I arrive at her place and to my pleasant surprise she's even more beautiful than in her pictures, I can only hope she's thinking the same of me. As soon as we got in my car to go to dinner, we hit it off. Talking to her was easy, we were laughing already, it's everything that you hope for in a first date. Skipping ahead, dinner is coming to a close and I offer to take her to dessert of course things are still going so well that she gladly accepts. Next thing I know, we're outside the frozen yogurt shop enjoying our dessert when she offers to go back to her apartment. All I can think now is that "I've done it."
Back at her apartment things continue, we're sitting on her couch, she comes in a little closer. This is my time to make my move. I go in for a kiss and without hesitation she closes the gap. We draw back for a second looking at each other, I decide to gently touch her arm she comes in for another kiss, still touching her arm I draw her in and she decides to climb on my lap. Things progress for a moment until her roommate opens the door and she quickly jumps off me. After her roommate has left she rests her head on my shoulder and we cuddle for a moment, enjoying the embrace. Then the kissing begins once again, at this point I wanted to see how far I could take this, she seemed more than willing and I haven't been with someone for over 6 months now. First I grabbed her butt, no contest, I worked my way up to her breasts still no contest, even putting my hands under her shirt and taking off her bra she does not protest. If I've gotten this far I might as well take it home right? I open her legs just a little bit start rubbing the insides and go for it. I start massaging her, she starts breathing heavily and kisses me more intensely. The last move to make, only her belt stands in my way.
As I grab her belt she stops me, I figured "well at least I got this far on the first date w00t!", she climbs back on my lap and says "There's something, well two things you need to know before you make moves in that direction.". Here's where I start saying "I'm sorry it's just been so long since I've been with someone I got excited.". She interrupts "No it's fine really, it's just that I've been raped before so I'm kind of uneasy about sexual things.". I reply that I understand because my previous girlfriend had also been raped, that seemed to comfort her a little bit. "So here's the second thing, I hope it's not a deal breaker, but I have HSV Type 1 'down there'.". Apparently she got it from some guy who went down on her.
At this point she climbed off me and sat next to me, I told her it wasn't a deal breaker, because it really isn't that hard to avoid transmission. This next part coming up was by far the best part of the night, she laid down and I did so next to her with my head on her chest, I could hear her heart beat. She kissed me on top of my head and started playing with my hair while we once again just enjoyed the embrace of one another. I can't describe the comfort, and the overall sense of joy I felt that moment, to have someone lovingly embrace me and to have someone to hold like that after such a shitty relationship wast the most comforting thing in the world.
Midnight was drawing closer I felt that I should be on my way when she mentioned this: "You know you don't have to leave right?". Holy shit, the first date and I've already got this girl to want me to spend the night? How did I get so damn lucky? However after much debate in my head I decided that I should actually leave, reason being if anything sexual did happen, which it most likely would have, I wasn't prepared to deal with the risk of being infected with an incurable disease.
I left feeling the best I have felt since I moved down here, things were finally in my favor. The following Tuesday I get a call from her around 11:30 PM and she tells me this: "So some crazy shit happened today, a guy that I had previously invested a lot of time into and like a lot asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm sorry but I still really want to be your friend, I had an amazing time on our date but I also understand if you never want to talk to me again.". I told her that yeah this definitely sucks but give me some time to decide. About 5 days later I call her up telling her that yeah I'm ready to be her friend, ecstatic she invites me to a show she's putting on, a cabaret.
I arrive at the show and I have to say that for a student performance it was pretty awesome, after the show she meets me and I congratulate her. She told me that I could be part of this too if I wanted and that she wants to hang out again very soon. I left because she had so many people trying to grab her attention I felt it was best to leave then.
I'm now at a crossroads, I want to keep her as a friend because I do genuinely think that she's an awesome person that I want to spend time with. What I don't want to happen is for my ego to get in the way of everything and try to win her back or something. I have a history of becoming attached to women who show interest in me fairly quickly so right now I'm treading water. Then there's also the fact that I don't have any friends down here besides her. I could use her (that sounds really cruel but I don't mean it to be) and her show to develop friend ships. She could be my key to living happily down here, but I'm absolutely terrified.
After all that I just have a question, is there a way to keep yourself from getting attached to a girl?
tl;dr: Moved 450 miles on a broken relationship, don't know anyone. Started online dating, met awesome girl. Had an amazing first date, the point where she was asking me to spend the night. Four days later another guy steals her. I now have to decide if I should keep her as a friend in order to expand my friend base, which is currently 0. Or drop her because I'm afraid I'll become attached to her.
Fuck.[/QUOTE]
Yes. See other women. Obviously a man will get attached when there isn't any abundance...
[QUOTE=Seith;35187903]It's immersion my friend. You need to understand comfort plays a role in sex. Light candles, put some perfume, massage her a bit... invest in the 4play. When you both are fully immersed, it will just happen and your inhibitions will disappear.[/QUOTE]
"Light candles, put some (on) some perfume" it's like you're 40 or you've been reading too much shit by Aristophanes.
Still you're right about the immersion and the foreplay. Some couples, need more of it than others to get comfortable with what they are about to do and with each other. Who knows, you may enjoy it as much as your girlfriend. Although I would refrain from setting the mood, because you don't need to be stressed going into the bedroom.
[QUOTE=Evilan;35188098]"Light candles, put some (on) some perfume" it's like you're 40 or you've been reading too much shit by Aristophanes.
Still you're right about the immersion and the foreplay. Some couples, need more of it than others to get comfortable with what they are about to do and with each other. Who knows, you may enjoy it as much as your girlfriend. Although I would refrain from setting the mood, because you don't need to be stressed going into the bedroom.[/QUOTE]
It was an example to understand what is immersion exactly.
Also, I highly doubt lightning candles would make him any more nervous. It's a perception thing. Most people when they think about lighting candles before having sex, imagine automatically a sex scene from Hollywood.
Candle-lit sex is great who gives a fuck if it's cliche.
[QUOTE=Seith;35187903]Women tend to get emotional rather than rational most of the time.... If she wanted to put a gun in her mouth, she would have already instead of wasting her time getting attention.[/QUOTE]
wow, that is incredibly wrong. that's like basic suicide prevention stuff you don't know, and you're trying to tell him that's what's happening
[QUOTE=Seith;35187903]Women tend to get emotional rather than rational most of the time[/QUOTE]
can we agree to just never listen to Seith again
[QUOTE=T2L_Goose;35183133]And now she's telling me that she's going back with him because she doesn't think she deserves me because she's suicidal and so is he and that she's just condemning herself so she feels less guilty when she finally does kill herself. I told her that she can be happy and that I can show her that, but she just asked me "what if I don't want to be happy".
I'm really worried about her but what the hell do I do at this point holy shit. I've been there for her through tons of problems. I talked her out of cutting one night and had her willingly surrender the razor to me. I come from a different world than she does, sure, but that doesn't mean she has to stick with people who hurt her and bring her down into that hole again. It's so frustrating and tragic when you lend a helping hand and want to show someone that the world isn't so bad, yet they don't want to believe it and refuse to let themselves be happy.
I want to get her help, but her family has no health insurance.
I'm hanging in there by a thread for this girl. I don't want to give up on her, but I'm running out of options.
Now she just told me she wants to put a gun in her mouth. what the fuck do I do.[/QUOTE]
What the fuck do you do? You tell that immature manipulative bitch to fuck off.
Aw, fuck me. That girl is all bullshit. Fuck her. I'd tell her to fuck off. Suicidal my ass, man. She's just an insecure bitch that loves to believe in her own lies and excuses. Fuck people like her, man. She's just using you and you're all Mr. helpful and shit. The moment she forgets about you and start to be happy she'll just move on and leave you with your balls in your hands and all that "I've been there for you" and "she was there for me" isn't gonna mean shit.
Funny thing is, you're all worried shitless about her . She's manipulating you. She just wants you there so she won't feel guilty. Mark my words.
Move on and stop providing for her, she made her decision. You don't have to be in the front row seat to see her move on while you're hurt. You don't deserve that and you shouldn't torture yourself with that everytime she tells you she's going to kill herself.
Cause basically when she wants something out of you she's all "I'm gonna kill myself" and you come running like a dog. This way you'll never go far with her.
I'm sorry for the harsh language but that attitude from girls really pisses me off. I'm not telling you to be disrespectful to her, but just move on, man. There's nothing for you there. Don't be naive! She's taking advantage of your honesty and innocence.
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=sangara;35187588]So this thread is kind of awesome, ready for a wall of text? My story in a nutshell:
August of 2010: Met this chick two months before she was going off to college (450 miles away) we both had an amazing time together, after 3 weeks of hanging out I get up the courage to ask her out and we start dating. She goes off to school a month later and we begin the long distance thing. First six months are awesome, I see her on her breaks and also venture down there for myself. We talk and decide I should move down so we can be together.
June of 2011: She comes back home for summer after 1 week things go to shit, we never see each other, we don't talk. It pretty much came down to a weekly date kind of thing, anyways the relationship is fading we both knew it. However I was determined that I could fix it and decide to still move down to be with her.
October of 2011: Things are unfathomably shitty, I decide I can't waste my time trying to be with her and that she will never work up the courage to break up with me. I decide a week after I moved to be with her that I have to break up with her. Woohoo now I'm 450 miles away from home with no one around that I know, time to rebuild a life. Luckily I secured a job before I moved here.
I felt like I needed to give you guys some background in order to help you see my perspective on this current situation.
After this fiasco I decided to give online dating a shot, I figured I had nothing to lose I don't know anyone around here. Plus I'm not going to school so there's nothing that forces me to be around my peers, and the fact that I work in construction means that I'm around even less females. I started my OKcupid profile around November and pretty much let it sit there untouched, I got a few messages but nothing ever came of it. I met one chick but nothing came of it. January 1st I decided that I was going to start putting effort into this site. I took some nicer pictures, redid my profile, tired really hard to make myself appealing to the type of girl I wanted to attract.
That day finally came in late February, I received a message from a girl that seemed damn near perfect. Her first message was well thought out, had complete sentences, no stupid acronyms, everything was in order. Seeing this I quickly visited her profile and was very excited, this was exactly the type chick that I was going for. I message her back and we quickly start talking and becoming comfortable with each other. After 2 or so days of messaging I decide that it's time to ask her out, she is quick to accept and gives me times that she is free. I replied with a time that worked for both of us and didn't get anything back for a day or so. That day turned into a week, so now me being discouraged sit there and ponder what to do next.
Keep in mind at this point I've been living here for 5 months and still have no friends or anyone really.
About 9 days after my last message to her I decided to give it one more shot, I send her another message just asking what's up. She replied rather quickly this time so I figured I would just forget about the past and ask her out again. This time it prevailed, she gave me her phone number and her address to pick her up at this time it was happening.
Friday night arrived, I'll have to say that I was pretty nervous, I mean who wouldn't be meeting someone the met online? I arrive at her place and to my pleasant surprise she's even more beautiful than in her pictures, I can only hope she's thinking the same of me. As soon as we got in my car to go to dinner, we hit it off. Talking to her was easy, we were laughing already, it's everything that you hope for in a first date. Skipping ahead, dinner is coming to a close and I offer to take her to dessert of course things are still going so well that she gladly accepts. Next thing I know, we're outside the frozen yogurt shop enjoying our dessert when she offers to go back to her apartment. All I can think now is that "I've done it."
Back at her apartment things continue, we're sitting on her couch, she comes in a little closer. This is my time to make my move. I go in for a kiss and without hesitation she closes the gap. We draw back for a second looking at each other, I decide to gently touch her arm she comes in for another kiss, still touching her arm I draw her in and she decides to climb on my lap. Things progress for a moment until her roommate opens the door and she quickly jumps off me. After her roommate has left she rests her head on my shoulder and we cuddle for a moment, enjoying the embrace. Then the kissing begins once again, at this point I wanted to see how far I could take this, she seemed more than willing and I haven't been with someone for over 6 months now. First I grabbed her butt, no contest, I worked my way up to her breasts still no contest, even putting my hands under her shirt and taking off her bra she does not protest. If I've gotten this far I might as well take it home right? I open her legs just a little bit start rubbing the insides and go for it. I start massaging her, she starts breathing heavily and kisses me more intensely. The last move to make, only her belt stands in my way.
As I grab her belt she stops me, I figured "well at least I got this far on the first date w00t!", she climbs back on my lap and says "There's something, well two things you need to know before you make moves in that direction.". Here's where I start saying "I'm sorry it's just been so long since I've been with someone I got excited.". She interrupts "No it's fine really, it's just that I've been raped before so I'm kind of uneasy about sexual things.". I reply that I understand because my previous girlfriend had also been raped, that seemed to comfort her a little bit. "So here's the second thing, I hope it's not a deal breaker, but I have HSV Type 1 'down there'.". Apparently she got it from some guy who went down on her.
At this point she climbed off me and sat next to me, I told her it wasn't a deal breaker, because it really isn't that hard to avoid transmission. This next part coming up was by far the best part of the night, she laid down and I did so next to her with my head on her chest, I could hear her heart beat. She kissed me on top of my head and started playing with my hair while we once again just enjoyed the embrace of one another. I can't describe the comfort, and the overall sense of joy I felt that moment, to have someone lovingly embrace me and to have someone to hold like that after such a shitty relationship wast the most comforting thing in the world.
Midnight was drawing closer I felt that I should be on my way when she mentioned this: "You know you don't have to leave right?". Holy shit, the first date and I've already got this girl to want me to spend the night? How did I get so damn lucky? However after much debate in my head I decided that I should actually leave, reason being if anything sexual did happen, which it most likely would have, I wasn't prepared to deal with the risk of being infected with an incurable disease.
I left feeling the best I have felt since I moved down here, things were finally in my favor. The following Tuesday I get a call from her around 11:30 PM and she tells me this: "So some crazy shit happened today, a guy that I had previously invested a lot of time into and like a lot asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm sorry but I still really want to be your friend, I had an amazing time on our date but I also understand if you never want to talk to me again.". I told her that yeah this definitely sucks but give me some time to decide. About 5 days later I call her up telling her that yeah I'm ready to be her friend, ecstatic she invites me to a show she's putting on, a cabaret.
I arrive at the show and I have to say that for a student performance it was pretty awesome, after the show she meets me and I congratulate her. She told me that I could be part of this too if I wanted and that she wants to hang out again very soon. I left because she had so many people trying to grab her attention I felt it was best to leave then.
I'm now at a crossroads, I want to keep her as a friend because I do genuinely think that she's an awesome person that I want to spend time with. What I don't want to happen is for my ego to get in the way of everything and try to win her back or something. I have a history of becoming attached to women who show interest in me fairly quickly so right now I'm treading water. Then there's also the fact that I don't have any friends down here besides her. I could use her (that sounds really cruel but I don't mean it to be) and her show to develop friend ships. She could be my key to living happily down here, but I'm absolutely terrified.
After all that I just have a question, is there a way to keep yourself from getting attached to a girl?
tl;dr: Moved 450 miles on a broken relationship, don't know anyone. Started online dating, met awesome girl. Had an amazing first date, the point where she was asking me to spend the night. Four days later another guy steals her. I now have to decide if I should keep her as a friend in order to expand my friend base, which is currently 0. Or drop her because I'm afraid I'll become attached to her.
Fuck.[/QUOTE]
Well, from my point of view I think you've got it all figured out and your head thinks very straight, so I have no doubt you'll make a right decision.
Still I think that your atitude towards her gives you a certain chance. Just don't hit on her, you'll never know what will happen so keep doing whatever you're doing. Don't close any doors, just go on. You never know what the future will bring so I say, live your life, cause you're going through the right path to win her affection. At least you're already in her heart. That's not something everybody can brag about.
Now, about techniques to feel unatracted to a girl? Why would you do that. Might as well cut your own dick. I'm not saying to hit on her and flirt like crazy, it's just that there's no harm in having another chance with her in your position.
I don't think it's fair to reduce her suicidal behaviour/issues to immature manipulation, especially given how little information you know about her. In any case, I agree in saying he should move on.
Her problems are no longer your problems, T2L. You've already done more than most people would for her, eventually you just need to understand that you're your own person and you have your own shit to deal with. You can't keep letting someone else pull you down, even if it feels like you're being selfish.
Support her, sure, but if it's causing your grief and you're only left feeling helpless, you should probably reconsider your priorities within the bigger picture of your own life.
i told my ex i didn't want to talk to her for a while so she tried talking to me the day after and she sent me a video on facebook yesterday
when i got mad at her she said she didn't expect me to reply and she "needed" to share it with someone
???
Thanks guys. I'll try to keep that all in mind. In going to talk to her today, give her some of her things back, and then wish her the best of luck I guess. I won't be able to be in her life as long as she's with that other guy, and that kind if sucks.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35189824]wow, that is incredibly wrong. that's like basic suicide prevention stuff you don't know, and you're trying to tell him that's what's happening[/QUOTE]
Fuck suicide prevention. If you response every time a woman pulls out the suicide card, you'd be in a world of pain.
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35190490]can we agree to just never listen to Seith again[/QUOTE]
You can just do it, instead of looking for confirmation. I am giving you the truth.
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35190490]can we agree to just never listen to Seith again[/QUOTE]
You can just do it, instead of looking for confirmation. I am giving you the truth.
[QUOTE=Seith;35195219]Fuck suicide prevention. If you response every time a woman pulls out the suicide card, you'd be in a world of pain.
You can just do it, instead of looking for confirmation. I am giving you the truth.[/QUOTE]
I agree, there are also a lot of "attention whores" which use it as a last resort, depending on their despair. Although there are also a lot of true cases where such behavior led to suicide attempts and whatnot.
My girlfriend wants to give me a blowjob but she says it's stressing her out. I'm satisfied with the current state of our relationship so I told her that she can do that whenever she's ready, what could I do to help comfort her out of performance anxiety?
[QUOTE=Seith;35195219]Fuck suicide prevention. If you response every time a [B]woman[/B] pulls out the suicide card, you'd be in a world of pain.[/QUOTE]
uhm... i think that's a tad sexist.
Open wide.
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Autumn;35195391]uhm... i think that's a tad sexist.[/QUOTE]
Wasn't my intention. Men do it as well. I was speaking from a personal view point.
[QUOTE=Autumn;35195391]uhm... i think that's a tad sexist.[/QUOTE]
how did you miss THIS
[quote=Seith;35187903]Women tend to get emotional rather than rational most of the time[/quote]
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35195438]how did you miss THIS[/QUOTE]
That's real life, It's odd you use such a natural thing as a sexist remark. It's not a negative, just a fact I have come to realize.
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35195438]how did you miss THIS[/QUOTE]
i didn't miss it, i ignored it!
typical woman, right?
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Seith;35195408]Wasn't my intention. Men do it as well. I was speaking from a personal view point.[/QUOTE]
you could have so easily said
"Fuck suicide prevention. If you response every time someone pulls out the suicide card, you'd be in a world of pain."
[QUOTE=Autumn;35195549]i didn't miss it, i ignored it!
typical woman, right?[/QUOTE]
im so fucking confused
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35195438]how did you miss THIS[/QUOTE]
It's not really sexist to cast aspersions about women, based on things that he thinks are biological differences.
[editline]19th March 2012[/editline]
At least in this instance.
Not to say I think he's right, though. I knew more emotional "suicidal" guys when it was cool to be emo in 2006 or whatever, than girls who have ever been suicidal.
[QUOTE=Autumn;35195549]i didn't miss it, i ignored it!
typical woman, right?
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
you could have so easily said
"Fuck suicide prevention. If you response every time someone pulls out the suicide card, you'd be in a world of pain."[/QUOTE]
Why are you nit picking on everything he posts?
[QUOTE=Autumn;35195549]i didn't miss it, i ignored it!
typical woman, right?
[editline]18th March 2012[/editline]
you could have so easily said
"Fuck suicide prevention. If you response every time someone pulls out the suicide card, you'd be in a world of pain."[/QUOTE]
Come on, it's a thread about girlfriends.
[QUOTE=Seith;35195219]Fuck suicide prevention. If you response every time a woman pulls out the suicide card, you'd be in a world of pain.[/QUOTE]
"fuck attempting to possibly help save the lives of those close to you"
[QUOTE=Godline;35195617]Why are you nit picking on everything he posts?[/QUOTE]
uhm, there's been an awful lot that he's posted recently that i've disagreed with but said nothing about.
but you keep up your little tirade, it's cute!
[QUOTE=Godline;35195617]Why are you nit picking on everything he posts?[/QUOTE]
maybe because each time he posts he digs himself deeper into his misogynistic and narcissistic hole
and it's sad that two months later, godline is still posting in these threads
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