[QUOTE=thisispain;35255785]
she enjoys the control over you. in some cases it could be considered abuse, don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to constantly say yes to sex or else you're not a man.[/QUOTE]
Cool insight, never thought of it like that.
I have to admit I played into it because I thought I would feel more of a man if I did so. A constantly-horny athletic woman and I'm this normal sack of potatoes vidya game nerd. Perhaps she is holding unto to me to keep feeling like her life meant anything. I have no idea really. Perhaps its the other way around and I chose her for that very same reason.
Don't let your insecurities hold you back. I'm a total failure of a student in life and in school and yet I manage to attract women, women that meet my high standards mind you. It really is up for you to decide if you are responsible enough to have a relationship. Whether it be financial-wise, time-wise or situational-wise you're the artist of this canvas. If you feel like dating an attractive woman, tell her you'd play video games with her then make her feel like the sexiest woman alive. That's precisely what I did and here I am
Two of three of those things in the title will never happen to me, the third better happen soon or ill be hurting
I probably should have mentioned that I'm not complaining...I do like the girl, and I'll be glad if she wants to hang out because she likes me. I'm just fairly cautious, and I'm not going to automatically think OMG SHE HAS A CRUSH ON ME just because she seems eager to hang out.
[QUOTE=thisispain;35255785]don't automatically assume that just because someone doesn't want to watch movies it means they want to fuck your brains out.[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure how this relates to me or exactly what you mean.
[QUOTE=Splarg!;35256096]I probably should have mentioned that I'm not complaining...I do like the girl, and I'll be glad if she wants to hang out because she likes me. I'm just fairly cautious, and I'm not going to automatically think OMG SHE HAS A CRUSH ON ME just because she seems eager to hang out.[/QUOTE]
That's the thing though. Why are you cautious? Are you scared of something? Is she going to stab you
[QUOTE=Splarg!;35256096]
I'm not sure how this relates to me or exactly what you mean.[/QUOTE]
oops i forgot a couple of important words there (guinness)
[QUOTE=thisispain;35256349]oops i forgot a couple of important words there (guinness)[/QUOTE]
mmmm guinness
[QUOTE=Insulator;35256584]mmmm guinness[/QUOTE]
I bought some Guinness today. Mmm dat foam...
I'm not looking for any advice but figured I could just vent this out here and hope i'd feel better about myself afterwards. I simply just need to get this off my chest and I also figured if I type this out that somewhere along the way things would seem a bit more clear to me.
I met this girl recently but already it feels like it's been a while. After I got back from my Christmas break, classes at my university started on the 2nd of Jan so pretty much everyone wasn't in the mood for any studying on that day. It was my first day for Photography class so I met up with this girl that I knew for it was our first time taking a specific bus out of town to college that the photography class was to place in. On our way to the bus stop, this girl approached the two of us and asked us if we were first years and if she could tag along for she was lost. Turns out she was in the same photography class as me, every Tuesday and Thursdays from then on I'd meet up with both my friend and this new girl.
Things were going as usual, I didn't think she was anything special at the time, just another nice girl that's pleasant to have around.
She's dating someone at this time.
I remember asking her for number and a lot of other girl's numbers as well because I figured I'd probably need some connections if one weekend I decided I'd come into the photo studio to catch up one some work I'd have someone with me or help me out.
One weekend I texted her if she wanted me to tag along with her downtown. We had to take pictures of random stuff for an abstract assignment. She said it was cool with her. I remember running late and I had just caught the bus and sat right beside her, didn't talk much to her on the bus though because we were friends but not close friends at that time. This was about 4th week into school. We had an adventure that day lol walking through some interesting parts of town as well as just waltzing into a private school lol I joked around with her all day and it was good times spent with her. From then on we got really close, she'd be the one asking me to hang with her everyday, we'd have basically every meal together on campus and spent a lot of time together. People around started to think we were couples or something but non asked me about it at this time. It was the next week after that i took her out to the museum, we needed to look at some artwork for an essay we had to do. she seemed off that day yet more appreciative of my presence. I was joking around with her as usual but this time she slipped that she just broken up with her boyfriend. She seemed really depressed when she mentioned it and when i asked if everything's going to be okay she said she didn't want to talk about it. So the day went on and i cheered her up :) we spent all day in downtown and met up with a highschool friend of hers. Through the course of the next three weeks we basically became really close friends but I felt a vibe off her that there was something more. we opened up and that was basically where things dropped to the point of no return.
As usual we spent all our time together like couples. Some of my boys on campus were questioning me if something was up between me and her and i'd tell them we were just friends thus far.
Another 3 weeks passed... I noticed she started to grow distant from me. Things started to become hot and cold with her. She'd enjoy spending time with me as usual but then somedays she'd treat me like i was nothing special. I started to speculate if she liked me or not. I grew frustrated.
Valentines day came around and i was planning on getting her flowers and asking her out for dinner, nothing too fancy just time together as usual. That didn't happen... She already had plans with her ex.
She always spends time with her ex downtown every weekend, and for the whole day. I just told myself something was going and expected the worse, i wasn't really too phased by this, I guess you could say I'm use to this... no reason to be jealous since she isn't mine.
But things only got more hot and more cold. Especially this one memorable event. I remember she was going downtown with two of her friends both girls too. I'd be holding her, hugging her from behind and things were going amazing that night. Dinner at a korean bbq place and tons of shopping around, there was a lot of touching and holding between me and her all day and night.
Few weeks later I remember going out with just her to go shopping for a new cologne since the one i used often ran out. we spent all day together, lunch was on me, dinner was for free (manager felt sorry for making us wait an hour) and then just before we were about to head back home she threw out the idea of a movie. We walked in, not knowing what was good, picked out Project X and damn was it a good movie lol. I remember during the movie i had my hand on my arm rest and she had hers right beside mine. I should've held her hand... Anyways we go back to my place back on res and chill for a bit as always, and i decided to throw another movie on. We cuddled, things were going amazing.
Things only got worse. She grew colder and eventually I asked her out just to see what the deal was. I wasn't upset about the rejection, i was just really disappointed but mostly i felt disrespected. She said there was something there, she liked me back. But she said she's determined to have no relationships. She rants on about how relationships ruin friendships and that things change after breakups no matter how mutual it was. I asked about all the hand holding on the bus rides and cuddling and holding her was all about... I asked if any of that meant something. She said of course and that it was genuine and that she wanted to do those things with me. She mentioned that the night after the movies she could've made out with me right then and there but that wouldn't only confuse her some more for she was still trying to figure things out between her and her ex... She admits to playing me up and i know she feels bad about it. I was her closest friend and she knew me better than anyone else on this campus besides my future roomates. To this day I'm still getting over her but there is progress, I'm not hurt by the fact she didn't want a relationship but the fact that she was such a nice girl how could i let myself be so vulnerable.
Deep inside I'm really pissed off at her. I still am. We're back the way we use to be, always spending time together and looking like couples just by the way we talk and look at each other (apparently... that's what everyone else is telling me) but there just isn't any more "kino" lol no more touching holding or any of that just hugs. I feel distant with her but that's only appropriate.
All my boys back home tell me to ditch this girl. some even say "I told you so from the start man! I knew she was a user the minute I saw her"
On her side she feels like utter shit. She feels as though I can do much better than she and that I deserve someone that'll appreciate me for what I'm worth. Sometimes I guilt trip her accidentally and I can tell it hits her hard. She feels like she's disrespected me as a friend.
I guess what really frustrates me the most is that, when two people have feelings for each other, things should work out right? I guess she's so determined to live a life without another lover that its worth throwing me as a chance away.
Sorry for the long text by the way.
Charming women would be much easier with a dialog wheel.
[QUOTE=kevaughan;35256888]I'm not looking for any advice but figured I could just vent this out here and hope i'd feel better about myself afterwards. I simply just need to get this off my chest and I also figured if I type this out that somewhere along the way things would seem a bit more clear to me.
I met this girl recently but already it feels like it's been a while. After I got back from my Christmas break, classes at my university started on the 2nd of Jan so pretty much everyone wasn't in the mood for any studying on that day. It was my first day for Photography class so I met up with this girl that I knew for it was our first time taking a specific bus out of town to college that the photography class was to place in. On our way to the bus stop, this girl approached the two of us and asked us if we were first years and if she could tag along for she was lost. Turns out she was in the same photography class as me, every Tuesday and Thursdays from then on I'd meet up with both my friend and this new girl.
Things were going as usual, I didn't think she was anything special at the time, just another nice girl that's pleasant to have around.
She's dating someone at this time.
I remember asking her for number and a lot of other girl's numbers as well because I figured I'd probably need some connections if one weekend I decided I'd come into the photo studio to catch up one some work I'd have someone with me or help me out.
One weekend I texted her if she wanted me to tag along with her downtown. We had to take pictures of random stuff for an abstract assignment. She said it was cool with her. I remember running late and I had just caught the bus and sat right beside her, didn't talk much to her on the bus though because we were friends but not close friends at that time. This was about 4th week into school. We had an adventure that day lol walking through some interesting parts of town as well as just waltzing into a private school lol I joked around with her all day and it was good times spent with her. From then on we got really close, she'd be the one asking me to hang with her everyday, we'd have basically every meal together on campus and spent a lot of time together. People around started to think we were couples or something but non asked me about it at this time. It was the next week after that i took her out to the museum, we needed to look at some artwork for an essay we had to do. she seemed off that day yet more appreciative of my presence. I was joking around with her as usual but this time she slipped that she just broken up with her boyfriend. She seemed really depressed when she mentioned it and when i asked if everything's going to be okay she said she didn't want to talk about it. So the day went on and i cheered her up :) we spent all day in downtown and met up with a highschool friend of hers. Through the course of the next three weeks we basically became really close friends but I felt a vibe off her that there was something more. we opened up and that was basically where things dropped to the point of no return.
As usual we spent all our time together like couples. Some of my boys on campus were questioning me if something was up between me and her and i'd tell them we were just friends thus far.
Another 3 weeks passed... I noticed she started to grow distant from me. Things started to become hot and cold with her. She'd enjoy spending time with me as usual but then somedays she'd treat me like i was nothing special. I started to speculate if she liked me or not. I grew frustrated.
Valentines day came around and i was planning on getting her flowers and asking her out for dinner, nothing too fancy just time together as usual. That didn't happen... She already had plans with her ex.
She always spends time with her ex downtown every weekend, and for the whole day. I just told myself something was going and expected the worse, i wasn't really too phased by this, I guess you could say I'm use to this... no reason to be jealous since she isn't mine.
But things only got more hot and more cold. Especially this one memorable event. I remember she was going downtown with two of her friends both girls too. I'd be holding her, hugging her from behind and things were going amazing that night. Dinner at a korean bbq place and tons of shopping around, there was a lot of touching and holding between me and her all day and night.
Few weeks later I remember going out with just her to go shopping for a new cologne since the one i used often ran out. we spent all day together, lunch was on me, dinner was for free (manager felt sorry for making us wait an hour) and then just before we were about to head back home she threw out the idea of a movie. We walked in, not knowing what was good, picked out Project X and damn was it a good movie lol. I remember during the movie i had my hand on my arm rest and she had hers right beside mine. I should've held her hand... Anyways we go back to my place back on res and chill for a bit as always, and i decided to throw another movie on. We cuddled, things were going amazing.
Things only got worse. She grew colder and eventually I asked her out just to see what the deal was. I wasn't upset about the rejection, i was just really disappointed but mostly i felt disrespected. She said there was something there, she liked me back. But she said she's determined to have no relationships. She rants on about how relationships ruin friendships and that things change after breakups no matter how mutual it was. I asked about all the hand holding on the bus rides and cuddling and holding her was all about... I asked if any of that meant something. She said of course and that it was genuine and that she wanted to do those things with me. She mentioned that the night after the movies she could've made out with me right then and there but that wouldn't only confuse her some more for she was still trying to figure things out between her and her ex... She admits to playing me up and i know she feels bad about it. I was her closest friend and she knew me better than anyone else on this campus besides my future roomates. To this day I'm still getting over her but there is progress, I'm not hurt by the fact she didn't want a relationship but the fact that she was such a nice girl how could i let myself be so vulnerable.
Deep inside I'm really pissed off at her. I still am. We're back the way we use to be, always spending time together and looking like couples just by the way we talk and look at each other (apparently... that's what everyone else is telling me) but there just isn't any more "kino" lol no more touching holding or any of that just hugs. I feel distant with her but that's only appropriate.
All my boys back home tell me to ditch this girl. some even say "I told you so from the start man! I knew she was a user the minute I saw her"
On her side she feels like utter shit. She feels as though I can do much better than she and that I deserve someone that'll appreciate me for what I'm worth. Sometimes I guilt trip her accidentally and I can tell it hits her hard. She feels like she's disrespected me as a friend.
I guess what really frustrates me the most is that, when two people have feelings for each other, things should work out right? I guess she's so determined to live a life without another lover that its worth throwing me as a chance away.
Sorry for the long text by the way.[/QUOTE]
Wow, that's pretty much exactly the shit I've been trough, except the hot and cold has been going on for almost a year now. I've been trough some stressful and very painful times, but reading this helps, thanks.
Will have been with my current girlfriend for a month on Saturday. We've had sex more times than days we've hung out with each other. Before her, last time I got laid was last July and that was a one night stand. And before that, I had been alone for almost 3 years cause a girl I was truly in love with (still kind of am) broke me. I'm 20, with no job or car. I've had a good handful of girlfriends, have had sex with 6 women, 2 of which weren't girlfriends. So, my sex life/love life is going pretty good now. :)
[QUOTE=kevaughan;35256888]I'm not looking for any advice but figured I could just vent this out here and hope i'd feel better about myself afterwards. I simply just need to get this off my chest and I also figured if I type this out that somewhere along the way things would seem a bit more clear to me.
Sorry for the long text by the way.[/QUOTE]
I've been in that situation before and I can leave you with this:
Women expect you to make the move. That's it, no questions asked. If you have to wait for a response from her, you're doing it wrong. Being too polite has its consequences. Like you said, she's hanging out with her ex. Figure that out. She'd rather hang out with her ex than you because he's probably more brazen and outgoing.
If you have any hesitation and even doubt toward her, you're pushing her away. You're supposed to be the guy! Actually put effort into playing hard-to-get with her. Women hate it when men don't put up a challenge and just throw themselves at the nearest nice girl near them.
Take it from me. Like I mentioned above. I'm a sack of shit potatoes and I manage a Chicago fashion designer/model that models East-Asian clothing. She was attracted to me because I needed her to earn my trust and my attraction. I didn't just outlandishly asked her out of the blue like its some fucking romantic movie. That would be really awkward. We hung out a lot at first as friends and didn't rush anything. Always teased her, always made her mad. There were days when I actually acted really mean to her and pushed her away. Then the next, really nice and forgiving. This made her go crazy from confusion and before she knew it, I was always on her mind. Be unpredictable, be adventurous. Don't always pay for a meal, mix it up. Embarrass yourselves in front of a crowd. Walk opposite paths in the mall to see if people would bump into you. Get lost using the public transit system.
Be creative and be yourself. Don't stick to fake ideals like being the supposed super-polite gentleman that only exists in novels. You can do better than that man
[QUOTE=NoobieWafer223;35257084]Will have been with my current girlfriend for a month on Saturday. We've had sex more times than days we've hung out with each other. Before her, last time I got laid was last July and that was a one night stand. And before that, I had been alone for almost 3 years cause a girl I was truly in love with (still kind of am) broke me. I'm 20, with no job or car. I've had a good handful of girlfriends, have had sex with 6 women, 2 of which weren't girlfriends. So, my sex life/love life is going pretty good now. :)[/QUOTE]
Do you really count your sex life with how many women you've bed?
Why is Seith the only person I can relate to in this thread? Maybe it's because I have an expansive vocabulary and know how to charm woman... and say these things out loud... and don't care about haters.
[QUOTE=sHiBaN;35257121]I've been in that situation before and I can leave you with this:
Women expect you to make the move. That's it, no questions asked. If you have to wait for a response from her, you're doing it wrong. Being too polite has its consequences. Like you said, she's hanging out with her ex. Figure that out. She'd rather hang out with her ex than you because he's probably more brazen and outgoing.
If you have any hesitation and even doubt toward her, you're pushing her away. You're supposed to be the guy! Actually put effort into playing hard-to-get with her. Women hate it when men don't put up a challenge and just throw themselves at the nearest nice girl near them.
Take it from me. Like I mentioned above. I'm a sack of shit potatoes and I manage a Chicago fashion designer/model that models East-Asian clothing. She was attracted to me because I needed her to earn my trust and my attraction. I didn't just outlandishly asked her out of the blue like its some fucking romantic movie. That would be really awkward. We hung out a lot at first as friends and didn't rush anything. Always teased her, always made her mad. There were days when I actually acted really mean to her and pushed her away. Then the next, really nice and forgiving. This made her go crazy from confusion and before she knew it, I was always on her mind. Be unpredictable, be adventurous. Don't always pay for a meal, mix it up. Embarrass yourselves in front of a crowd. Walk opposite paths in the mall to see if people would bump into you. Get lost using the public transit system.
Be creative and be yourself. Don't stick to fake ideals like being the supposed super-polite gentleman that only exists in novels. You can do better than that man
Do you really count your sex life with how many women you've bed?[/QUOTE]
That is what it is, isn't it?
How do you classify a sex life?
[QUOTE=newbz;35257132]Why is Seith the only person I can relate to in this thread?[/QUOTE]
cause you're a nutter/troll, tick box that applies.
[editline]23rd March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=NoobieWafer223;35257149]That is what it is, isn't it?
How do you classify a sex life?[/QUOTE]
i would say a healthy sex life is where there's no dysfunction of any kind and both partners are game for anything within reason.
[QUOTE=NoobieWafer223;35257149]That is what it is, isn't it?
How do you classify a sex life?[/QUOTE]
You can have an innumerable amount of women to have bed. But really how many of which you've had a tremendous challenge and mountain to climb just to have? Once had to run a couple of miles for a beauty in heat waiting for me in her house all alone, felt like a marathon runner claiming his prize :)
[QUOTE=thisispain;35257154]cause you're a nutter/troll, tick box that applies.
[editline]23rd March 2012[/editline]
i would say a healthy sex life is where there's no dysfunction of any kind and both partners are game for anything within reason.[/QUOTE]
My sex life isn't really dysfunctional, minus the 2 one night stands.
[editline]23rd March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=sHiBaN;35257183]You can have an innumerable amount of women to have bed. But really how many of which you've had a tremendous challenge and mountain to climb just to have? Once had to run a couple of miles for a beauty in heat waiting for me in her house all alone, felt like a marathon runner claiming his prize :)[/QUOTE]
Mmm, no. It really wasn't tremendously difficult to lay the women I did. I don't really see it as a source of JUST pleasure, I see it as a way to get close. I just chose to get close to the wrong ones. So, don't accuse me of being some man-whore player something or rather.
my missus drives me mad at times
[QUOTE=thisispain;35255294]haven't you seen PUA videos?
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zorEMHb3o0Y[/media][/QUOTE]
[img]http://menversus.com/images/bertstare.jpg[/img]
I always wondered how long people "wait" to have sex with their new partner. It really differs a lot.
Some people say on the second date, sometimes few months. I am together with a girl since a week now and things are already pretty tense.
My girlfriend and I were seeing each other for two weeks before we had sex.
We'd been seeing eachother almost every day before we got together, then we saw eachother everyday and stayed around eachothers houses for about 2 weeks before we had sex.
[QUOTE=kevaughan;35256888]I guess what really frustrates me the most is that, when two people have feelings for each other, things should work out right? I guess she's so determined to live a life without another lover that its worth throwing me as a chance away.
Sorry for the long text by the way.[/QUOTE]
Shit luck dude, have a heart. I hope for the best in moving on from it all, and learning everything you can from the experience. Move on with your own life, see other people, and in time she might just become comfortable enough with you to try again.
We'd been kissing and touching and stuff during this time.
She actually recently apologised for attacking me the first time we spent time with eachother; we were kissing and she shoved her hand in my pants.
We've been together for 10 months, doesn't feel that long at all.
Met my girl at a concert up in NE, I live in FL. We've been "dating" since, on our 10th month now. No sex, obviously, but shit has gotten bad (for the both of us) with it being a long distance thing and all. Going to see her in the summer! You guys with "normal" relationships, don't take it for granted
Well, you could make your life easier and have a "normal" relationship.
My girlfriend goes to uni 200 miles away. We normally see eachother every couple of weeks. It can be tough at times, I last saw her on Sunday but it feels like much longer than that.
I think as long as you keep in contact and you both genuinely love eachother it works out. We talk every day, chatted for over an hour last night and spoke for 45 minutes this morning
[QUOTE=just-a-boy;35254894]You're blowing it way out of proportion. There is no such thing as a practice of getting women. Seriously, if you plan your conversations in advance for whatever reasons, something is wrong. Whatever the situation, the best "practice" is that of spontaneity.
I have no problems getting around with women in social situations. The Alpha Male concept of social interactions is an outdated, archaic way of thinking from when social status and belonging to a caste were common denominators when it came to knowing your place in society. These days (where I'm from) everyone has everything within their grasp, if only they should wish to pursue it. Ofcourse, some people simply don't mix with others, but this is obvious.[/QUOTE]
Where have I said, "planning my conversations" ? Even though some people might choose to use already constructed stories and stuff, for a few, it's only a phase.
Again, this is a malformed post. You are assuming on the basis of - nothing.
I used to find it hard at times speaking to girls until I realised that they're boys but with long hair and vaginas instead of willys
And just talked to them normally, obviously change somethings you'll say. Girls don't find dick jokes so funny
[QUOTE=Doozle;35259213]We'd been kissing and touching and stuff during this time.
She actually recently apologised for attacking me the first time we spent time with eachother; we were kissing and she shoved her hand in my pants.
We've been together for 10 months, doesn't feel that long at all.[/QUOTE]
Wow, sounds like you guys are going great then. And the apology thing made me laugh, but only because I don't think she realises you probably enjoyed it more than she did. :v:
Yeah everything's irie. She's great, I couldn't ask for anything else.
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