So to get off the awkward topic of odd age dating, I have a question.
Can someone explain to me the Alpha approach to getting girls? Also when you use that, do you use it just for hook-ups or to try to get perma girl-friends?
Whole Alpha thing never made sense to me.
But I asked out most of the guys I've dated so yeah...
[QUOTE=JohanGS;35305912]Would you say that these girls are better friends/funnier/more likeable/whatnot?[/QUOTE]
How do you mean? You ask if I were to have sex with any of them, if I could.
Well, some of them are just really weird (yet funny, though), and I could never think of sleeping with her. (also because shes lesbian and not really that attractive to me (sidenote, apparantly she is to other girls though))
Not saying any of them are better than the others, although some of them are more attractive than the others, they are all cool/likeable in their own way?
Idk why you even ask that.
[QUOTE=eternalflamez;35306253]
Not saying any of them are better than the others[/QUOTE]
....
[QUOTE=eternalflamez;35306253]although some of them are more attractive than the others[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Methylparaben;35306302]....[/QUOTE]
More attractive =/= better
[editline]26th March 2012[/editline]
Especially when it's about friends, then it doesn't even matter.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;35305984]
Can someone explain to me the Alpha approach to getting girls? Also when you use that, do you use it just for hook-ups or to try to get perma girl-friends?[/QUOTE]
it's based on the idea of the alpha male in animal communities.
what the term alpha means to an individual person is completely up to them and it never matches the actually ethological term.
according to this: [url]http://www.puagame.net/15-alpha-male-characteristics/[/url]
apparently it means acting like a one-sided person who only exists in bad movies.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;35305984]So to get off the awkward topic of odd age dating, I have a question.
Can someone explain to me the Alpha approach to getting girls? Also when you use that, do you use it just for hook-ups or to try to get perma girl-friends?
Whole Alpha thing never made sense to me.
But I asked out most of the guys I've dated so yeah...[/QUOTE]
You don't "use" anything. Pick Up Artist shit like I said, let me reiterate, was a 2004 ploy to make millions of dollars by tricking unsuspecting men to buy books in order to "Game" unsuspecting women.
Nonetheless, being "alpha" meant that you were always the leader of the group. That one prominent person which decides what everyone does that night. The "alpha-male" or "leader." Could be construed as an "AMOG" or "alpha male of the group." I've done that several times before. Brought three girls with me to places and I was the only guy. Needless to say I got attention from women.
But really, it's how you handle your own situation and attitude. No need to stick to stupid techniques man, the only thing you would achieve from that is insecurity as well as looking super fake to anyone. Be genuine and just do the moment.
[QUOTE=thisispain;35306427]apparently it means acting like a one-sided person who only exists in bad movies.[/QUOTE]
Exactly
PUA is like Axe body spray in book form
Ohkay. Thanks. I get that a bit more now, saw it sort of suggested earlier in the thread. Fairly glad people here arn't too big on it. :p
Always seemed like BS to me.
[QUOTE=eternalflamez;35306253]How do you mean? You ask if I were to have sex with any of them, if I could.
Well, some of them are just really weird (yet funny, though), and I could never think of sleeping with her. (also because shes lesbian and not really that attractive to me (sidenote, apparantly she is to other girls though))
Not saying any of them are better than the others, although some of them are more attractive than the others, they are all cool/likeable in their own way?
Idk why you even ask that.[/QUOTE]
Well, compare the girls you'd consider sleeping with the ones you never would touch.
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;35302324]Get a job.
As for you guys dating underage people... when the person is underage by a few months, I only ever suggest people avoid dating still to protect themselves. Too many times I have heard of guys dating just under the legal age and then the girl gets mad and cries rape, or the parents find out and report it, whatever.
For a few years difference, like an 18 year old dating a 13 year old... guys, he/she is still a kid. You're doing it wrong.[/QUOTE]
What. Not liking to go out & no women = a job?
If you're at a job that's an opportunity to meet laydeez
[QUOTE=thisispain;35306427]it's based on the idea of the alpha male in animal communities.
what the term alpha means to an individual person is completely up to them and it never matches the actually ethological term.
according to this: [url]http://www.puagame.net/15-alpha-male-characteristics/[/url]
apparently it means acting like a one-sided person who only exists in bad movies.[/QUOTE]
.... So, because you can't achieve the said qualities, it's something Hollywood made up?
I skimmed through it and it's a pretty plausible approach.
[editline]26th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Doozle;35308376]If you're at a job that's an opportunity to meet laydeez
[editline]26th March 2012[/editline]
actual ladies, as in middle age[/QUOTE]
How about going to a bar, nightclub, mall? Getting a job for the sake of meeting new potential "female friends" isn't the best of choices.
[editline]26th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=sHiBaN;35306487]You don't "use" anything. Pick Up Artist shit like I said, let me reiterate, was a 2004 ploy to make millions of dollars by tricking unsuspecting men to buy books in order to "Game" unsuspecting women.
Nonetheless, being "alpha" meant that you were always the leader of the group. That one prominent person which decides what everyone does that night. The "alpha-male" or "leader." Could be construed as an "AMOG" or "alpha male of the group." I've done that several times before. Brought three girls with me to places and I was the only guy. Needless to say I got attention from women.
But really, it's how you handle your own situation and attitude. No need to stick to stupid techniques man, the only thing you would achieve from that is insecurity as well as looking super fake to anyone. Be genuine and just do the moment.
Exactly[/QUOTE]
What you said is only 1 out of the 10 qualities an "alpha male" is suppose to have. The fact you correlate the word "techniques" and "alpha male" suggests a lack of understanding on the matter. It has nothing to do with the "tools" you were taught. You can have all the tools to attract more women into your life , more than anyone else in the world, and still be nothing more than a "script kiddie"
It would only feel "fake" if you are indeed fake. Obviously, if you need to use techniques as a way of pronouncing that dominant behavior, alpha male behavior, then you weren't one in the first place.
[QUOTE=Seith;35308386].... So, because you can't achieve the said qualities, it's something Hollywood made up?
I skimmed through it and it's a pretty plausible approach.[/QUOTE]
uh i never said hollywood made that up (one-sided characters have existed ever since there have been characters).
and the reason why it's one-sided is because it's essentially suggesting to dispose of your human qualities in order to pretend you're a movie character.
you're not always gonna have integrity, assertiveness, or even smile. life doesn't evolve around simplistic traits that can sum up people, that's why it's acting like a one-sided person.
and pretending to be exemplified by "alpha male" and its various traits only works with people who are looking for shallow movie characters, not real people.
and you definitely don't need it to get laid either.
i think the only important ones are the first and the last, you really shouldn't give a fuck and do what you like to do
[QUOTE=thisispain;35308696]uh i never said hollywood made that up (one-sided characters have existed ever since there have been characters).
and the reason why it's one-sided is because it's essentially suggesting to dispose of your human qualities in order to pretend you're a movie character.
you're not always gonna have integrity, assertiveness, or even smile. life doesn't evolve around simplistic traits that can sum up people, that's why it's acting like a one-sided person.
and pretending to be exemplified by "alpha male" and its various traits only works with people who are looking for shallow movie characters, not real people.
and you definitely don't need it to get laid either.[/QUOTE]
You wrote a lot of solid points, but they all shrink when you read the last sentence. "get laid" indicates you are not trying to understand. If it were about getting laid, solely, then I wouldn't be wasting my time explaining otherwise.
That kind of personality is hard to maintain, let me tell you. It takes physical and mental endurance. But, if your goal is to be better with women and people in general, you probably wouldn't like to find yourself being unassertive, sad and put it simply, a bitch.
Imagine for a second a person you look up to. All the greatest minds, richest people, show these exact same traits. It's something unnatural for most. It's something that takes time getting used to. That's like saying that if weightlifting hurts, and I keep doing it even though it doesn't feel natural (hurting), then I am a fake and going against my nature.
You need to work hard in order to make it your second nature, and so, to deny it on the basis that "it's not natural" is absurd. You work hard for what you want to be, for the most part, people aren't born winners. There's nothing fake about it, it's just plain ignorance my friends.
he said "and you definitely don't need it to get laid either," implying that he knows it could be intended for more than just that
and you're also confusing the traits described as "alpha" with the traits that some of the greatest/most successful people in history shared. you're telling me nikola tesla was alpha? george washington? john d. rockefeller? i dunno, i'm having trouble finding any basis for such an absolute claim as "All the greatest minds, richest people, show these exact same traits."
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35309265]he said "and you definitely don't need it to get laid either," implying that he knows it could be intended for more than just that
and you're also confusing the traits described as "alpha" with the traits that some of the greatest/most successful people in history shared. you're telling me nikola tesla was alpha? george washington? john d. rockefeller? i dunno, i'm having trouble finding any basis for such an absolute claim as "All the greatest minds, richest people, show these exact same traits."[/QUOTE]
That's just nitpicking. But, for the sake of making my point, I shall rephrase. " A lot of the modern richest, greatest minds, show these exact same traits" .
Also, the people who are the "greatest" in my eyes, aren't nessecarily such in yours.
and I would still disagree with you
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35309324]and I would still disagree with you[/QUOTE]
And you have the right to.
[QUOTE=Seith;35309003]
Imagine for a second a person you look up to. All the greatest minds, richest people, show these exact same traits.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://img.wendmag.com/uploads/2011/10/thom_yorke.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.tu-harburg.de/rzt/rzt/it/Bjork2.gif[/img]
nope
they're both unconfident, unambitious, unpassionate, lying, unprincipled, pessimistic, unassertive, not-groomed, aimless, approval-seeking, humourless, procrastinating, non-risk-taking motherfuckers who would definitely read that article.
[editline]26th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Seith;35309003]
That kind of personality is hard to maintain, let me tell you. [/QUOTE]
it's impossible unless you're a movie character.
I do like that Thisisspain's writing always leaves that small detail that everyone tries to argue about, but then they realize that's not what he explicitly meant. It's great.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35297203]obviously you should have a plan, of course it isn't going to work if you don't. what you're saying really applies to high schoolers or people with no means of finance or transport I guess, but I'm about 2,500 miles away from my girlfriend, have been for three months, and will be for probably another six and more, and we're doing great and I can't see an end. we've been away from each other for four months before, we can do it again.
point is, you should probably differentiate next time between internet relationships and actual LDR's, because you're discouraging people who might actually have a physical relationship from attempting to keep it going through some separation.[/QUOTE]
I somewhat agree with this. I think that moving away from a significant other after being close together is hard, and maintaining the relationship after such may be difficult, but I also don't think that it should mean a guaranteed end to a relationship. I lived two hours away from my ex. While our relationship didn't end well (By any means, haha), I didn't feel bad about our situation while we had it good. We just cared for each other, even if we saw each other only once or twice a month, if lucky. And we were, for the most part, happy.
2,500 miles is much farther, but I've known some solid relationships that have survived and prospered in the same situation. If you just give up right out the gate though, then there probably is no hope. It might say something about how you really feel about your relationship as well, and what you may actually be looking for. Sure there are plenty of factors to consider, such as the individual not being able to be separated from their partner in such a way, but if you're not willing to give it some kind of shot, then maybe there is something more to the whole thing.
I think that having a "real" LDR would actually be much more difficult than an "Internet" LDR, personally. I'm not sure if I would be interested in an LDR any time soon, but I wouldn't put it past me in the future. I feel it just depends on your situation in life.
But in either case, I feel just trying to enjoy your relationship is what is important, and not worrying about the limitations that may arise, or are already in place. Otherwise, you won't give your partner the full potential you could be offering, which isn't really fair to either individual in the relationship.
[QUOTE=Aeris;35305540]SHOE3045: Of course she doesn't have a problem with your relationship, she's THIRTEEN years old. She's too young to grasp it. She's going to hate you in a few years though.
[B]Kids[/B] don't realize that it's inappropriate to date someone who is of a different maturity level both physically and mentally. As a much older guy than herself you are way too much of a role-model for her too question your ways, which can create a bond of trust between you which is unhealthy. Much like when a father takes advantage of his own daughter.
I am however starting to think that you're a troll. You're being too indifferent about serious matters.[/QUOTE]
Im always indifferent about serious matters, actually it bugs a lot of people. I'm not actually in a relationship with Jane though, were just extremely close. We trust each other but she knows i'm a bad roll model and shes told me to shut up because i was being a bad roll model in front her friends before. Which I found hilarious. Also... Ive never even kissed a girl and she knows this (thats why im on this thread I guess). Its so hard for me to type all this out, its such a mess in my head.
Neither of our parents know anything
Im not 18 im 17
yeah, you're just clinging to her because she's giving you more attention than most girls have so far in your life, and it's hard for you to give it up despite her being only 13
i don't mean to sound mean, that's just pretty much the psychology behind it, and you should push yourself to seek that attention elsewhere, with someone closer to your age, and closer to your location as well. all this girl's providing you right now is an erection.
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35310447]Also... Ive never even kissed a girl[/QUOTE]
so you're pretty desperate
mate this is an awful situation. please stop trying to convince yourself otherwise
[QUOTE=Seith;35308386]What you said is only 1 out of the 10 qualities an "alpha male" is suppose to have. The fact you correlate the word "techniques" and "alpha male" suggests a lack of understanding on the matter. It has nothing to do with the "tools" you were taught. You can have all the tools to attract more women into your life , more than anyone else in the world, and still be nothing more than a "script kiddie"
It would only feel "fake" if you are indeed fake. Obviously, if you need to use techniques as a way of pronouncing that dominant behavior, alpha male behavior, then you weren't one in the first place.[/QUOTE]
Dude, seriously, get off your high horse.
Alpha-male is just that, alpha-male. If you try to make that more complicated than it is, you're really out of it in that PUA stuff. Either you have no idea what the hell you're talking about or you're completely delusional on the subject. Kinda like those people who are new to the whole scene and try to analyze every single "opener" and missing the entire point. :P
Seith, starting to sound really creepy now lol and that's coming from an ex-PUA. There's no arguing that it's all fake man, you can't honestly admit in your heart that you believe it and support it completely
[QUOTE=Rhenae;35306799]Ohkay. Thanks. I get that a bit more now, saw it sort of suggested earlier in the thread. Fairly glad people here arn't too big on it. :p
Always seemed like BS to me.[/QUOTE]
You'd be better off handing your number to every girl you see. At least your ratio will be higher compared to being a try-hard "pick up artist." You don't need to fake yourself really. Just learn to display your attractive qualities in the best way you can and women will pick up on that positivity. If it takes trying to be a PUA to display positivity, that's your call. I'd suggest you not fake it. Trust me man, been there, done that and a hundred times over. Believe me, it's really not all that. The next morning you wake up from the night before you wonder how you became such a robotic shell of a human being :)
You guys are right, im desperate and thats why I got to know Jane but at this point ive gotten to know her so well. Its sad but I love her. At this point ive gotten to know other girls too (some who are even older than me), I still love her. I might have gotten to know her because I was a desperate fuck but she really has become one of my best friends.
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35311602]You guys are right, im desperate and thats why I got to know Jane but at this point ive gotten to know her so well. Its sad but I love her. At this point ive gotten to know other girls too (some who are even older than me), I still love her. I might have gotten to know her because I was a desperate fuck but she really has become one of my best friends.[/QUOTE]
Just don't get that passionate when you tell your female colleagues. Wouldn't want to burn any bridges.
[QUOTE=Seith;35309003]You wrote a lot of solid points, but they all shrink when you read the last sentence. "get laid" indicates you are not trying to understand. If it were about getting laid, solely, then I wouldn't be wasting my time explaining otherwise.
That kind of personality is hard to maintain, let me tell you. It takes physical and mental endurance. But, if your goal is to be better with women and people in general, you probably wouldn't like to find yourself being unassertive, sad and put it simply, a bitch.
[/QUOTE]
Soo two things here. One, by that second statement you seem to be acting like the only options are Alpha or Wimp who can't talk to women.
As for getting laid, I would say acting Alpha is a good strategy for picking up girls say at a bar, or in situations where they arn't likely to get to know you first before dating.
But if you have to try to it you shouldn't define yourself just by being Alpha. If your trying at it you should be able to relax that trying with a girl friend once you've talked a bit. If you have to always work at being Alpha to stay with her it's not a good relationship.
(You know the girls like sensitive guys thing? Actually fairly true)
A goal to be more confident with people is a good one though, I do agree with that.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;35311711]Soo two things here. One, by that second statement you seem to be acting like the only options are Alpha or Wimp who can't talk to women.
As for getting laid, I would say acting Alpha is a good strategy for picking up girls say at a bar, or in situations where they arn't likely to get to know you first before dating.
But if you have to try to it you shouldn't define yourself just by being Alpha. If your trying at it you should be able to relax that trying with a girl friend once you've talked a bit. If you have to always work at being Alpha to stay with her it's not a good relationship.
(You know the girls like sensitive guys thing? Actually fairly true)
A goal to be more confident with people is a good one though, I do agree with that.[/QUOTE]
Trying to be an alpha in a bar is a good way to get a broken nose or to get humiliated.
If you really look into it, being under the radar is a much more attractive way of dealing with the situation. You won't be in the line of fire of other stupid heads trying to out-muscle each other. Be friendly, but don't take insults. Slap back with a funny retort and ignore the bigger guy. Focus on making a connection with the women because that's the core ideal. Let the stupid heads fight over each other like a bunch of homo-erotic muscle guys and you entertain the women.
Imo, that's the true alpha for me and it has always worked out just fine. Learn to neutralize the enemy and you won't even have to move from your seat. For me, it was a really fun psychological activity albeit how stupidly risky it was. Having to deal with gym muscle heads and big bouncers, a scrawny guy like me has no chance. But I let the women do the judging and the "alphas" aren't so much alphas when their friends do not approve of their behavior.
I've done this several times over in the course of three years and it's pretty fun at first. In the end, it was all just a stupid experience. I felt more comfortable being myself than trying to focus on characteristics such as being "alpha." Just live your life and if you're willing to take risks there are great rewards
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