[QUOTE=thisispain;35326303]you have to actually ask her out or do something.
she really couldn't be clearer.[/QUOTE]
I would If I wasnt so dragged down by my social anxiety and weight. I have so little self confidence
Then lose weight and talk to more people. The issues you have are not issues that can't be addressed in some way. Stop self pitying and do something with your life.
[QUOTE=sirpopsalot_;35326312]I would If I wasnt so dragged down by my social anxiety and weight. I have so little self confidence[/QUOTE]
nothing's going to happen though, it's so personal that you needn't worry.
[QUOTE=Perfumly;35326320]Then lose weight and talk to more people. The issues you have are not issues that can't be addressed in some way. Stop self pitying and do something with your life.[/QUOTE]
Thats what im doing, Ive been going to the gym daily and have lost around 30 lbs so far.
[editline]27th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=thisispain;35326321]nothing's going to happen though, it's so personal that you needn't worry.[/QUOTE]
What do you mean?
[QUOTE=sirpopsalot_;35326328]Thats what im doing, Ive been going to the gym daily and have lost around 30 lbs so far.
[/QUOTE]
Well good job then, just keep at it.
[QUOTE=Perfumly;35326343]Well good job then, just keep at it.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, just going to lose a tad more before I start seeing her. I was just wondering if it sounded if I was perma-friendzoned or I had a chance with her
[QUOTE=sirpopsalot_;35326328]
What do you mean?[/QUOTE]
i mean that you really have nothing to lose so don't be so anxious about it. if she has the same problems i'm sure she'd understand.
you just have to open up a bit.
[editline]27th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=sirpopsalot_;35326354]if I was perma-friendzoned or I had a chance with her[/QUOTE]
until you're flat-out rejected there's always a chance.
[QUOTE=sirpopsalot_;35326354]Yeah, just going to lose a tad more before I start seeing her. I was just wondering if it sounded if I was perma-friendzoned or I had a chance with her[/QUOTE]
You have as much of a chance as anyone, just remember that.
Thanks for the help guys :D
[QUOTE=sirpopsalot_;35326291]Shes said multiple times that shed love being together with a person she can trust 100% and has everything in common with, and has mentioned me as that person. We have the same taste in music, literature, philosophy and have the same morbid sense of humor. I dont think ill meet someone again that I have this much in common with. Id be devastated if I was friend zoned[/QUOTE]
Yeah Janes that person for me. Trust me meeting her might be scary but at this point I dont think either of you could do anything that would make the other dislike you and it (meeting) will only strengthen the bond between you two
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35326499]Yeah Janes that person for me. Trust me meeting her might be scary but at this point I dont think either of you could do anything that would make the other dislike you and it (meeting) will only strengthen the bond between you two[/QUOTE]
Im glad for you dude. Was it all super easy once you finally started being together?
he's talking about a 13 yr old so I'd take his advice with a grain of salt
[QUOTE=sirpopsalot_;35326630]Im glad for you dude. Was it all super easy once you finally started being together?[/QUOTE]
uhh well see I've never actually met Jane. But I met another one of my closest friends for the first time about three months ago. We both agreed it felt like we had known each other our entire lives. Just being able to physically touch other the person will make you feel closer to them. Yes it was super easy, we only got to spend a day together though. I miss sitting in her ghetto ass room with no furniture and listening to music. It really was so nice
[QUOTE=Sanius;35322372]no, many of them are socially inept because they don't see what's wrong with their behavior and use "I'm just being myself!!" as a safety net
being yourself isn't going to land you in a fruitful relationship if you're a terrible and/or awkward person who isn't willing to compromise[/QUOTE]
That is why you work on yourself by weeding out the negative traits of your personality. Atleast that's what I did.
What did it make me? A socially awesome guy who attracts other people to my prescense.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35326783]That is why you work on yourself by weeding out the negative traits of your personality. Atleast that's what I did.
What did it make me? A socially awesome guy who attracts other people to my prescense.[/QUOTE]
Well yeah. It took me a long time to be who I really am, because I was trying to be like everyone else. In high school(for example), if you showed any signs of being different and was not confident to back it up and not give a shit, you were in a world of pain. That's why confidence is so important if you want to be yourself, and show who you really are to the world around you.
So what if some people despise you(Sanius), don't give a shit about it. Dye your hair green, wear a christmas tree on top of your head, whatever makes you happy.
That said, there's always room for improvement. I've changed my clothing style and general outgoingness a great deal. Many of my old acquaintances didn't even recognize me. But it's who I really am, but didn't have the courage to show some years ago.
I'm really starting to think I should go back over that 'alpha' thing I wrote for the last thread, I feel like a lot of that advice could be quite misleading and the last few pages have just emphasised that. I still think all the advice about being yourself and not basing your confidence off of other people is important, but maybe it's all coming on a bit too strong, I dunno.
Just know, love, and be yourself, without being a fake, shallow, arrogant asshole. That's all I believe, and that's all I want people to get out of what I wrote.
You really need to know who you are before you can be yourself, that's not something easily done. Be good to elaborate on that more because you need to form a baseline first.
[QUOTE=Perfumly;35321299]The difference between being "alpha" and being "beta" is the ability to do what you like to do without giving a shit what other people think of what you do or how you do it.
tee bee aych[/QUOTE]
This is pretty much the best comment so far.
When you're out in public, you shouldn't have to be going through the steps of how to act in your head.(especially not from this thread) Same with girls, this isn't a video game where you have to hit the right buttons at the right time, if you do this, it'll look weird or unnatural. Develop your own sense of not giving a dick and stick to it. Let it come naturally. The more you do it, the more natural it will come to you. Also just because you don't give a shit, doesn't mean you should act like an asshole to people. I see a lot of guys do this when hanging in small social outings and they end up cockblocking themselves or getting trash talked whenever their away from the group. Try your best to relate to people in similar situation. People like to relate to each other in a situational way. This is why the rage face/reaction face comics are so popular among the more social people (cancer of the web).
So in short.
Practice your own style of alpha maleness and let it come naturally (You shouldn't have to actively think about what your doing)
Try not to give too much of a shit, but don't let it make you act like a total asshole. Still hold the door open for people, still be a nice guy to peeps.
The more you go out, the more you can relate to more people through situational emotions and other things whipper snappers like to talk about.
Also don't smoke or drink unless it's socially, if you're designated driver, don't drink/smoke at all.
Credentials in my FB
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Condoms are so expensive
they cost less than a buck a pop. are you poor or just cheap?
Lack of a condom is likely to be more expensive...
[QUOTE=BassB;35333579]they cost less than a buck a pop. are you poor or just cheap?[/QUOTE]
i swear durex are like £8 or something for a pack here it's daft
injection all da way
[QUOTE=junker|154;35333479]Condoms are so expensive[/QUOTE]
or free if you live in a decent country.
[QUOTE=junker|154;35333479]Condoms are so expensive[/QUOTE]
Get on deal extreme box of 1000 I think it is.
Although dont hold it to me if your boyfriend states his pregnant in a months time.
seriously if your in the UK go find a clinic in town and state you have multiple sexual partners. They will hand them out to you like they are going out of fashion.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;35333690]i swear durex are like £8 or something for a pack here it's daft
injection all da way[/QUOTE]
or just the pill :v:
saves all that nasty needle stuff
(also do you mean implant? i don't know of an injection that prevents you from conceiving)
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;35333690]i swear durex are like £8 or something for a pack here it's daft
injection all da way[/QUOTE]
theres 12 in a pack fyi. still works out at less than a buck
just looked on the boots website and they're generally working out at about £1 each
which could easily add up very quickly
[QUOTE=Autumn;35333768]just looked on the boots website and they're generally working out at about £1 each
which could easily add up very quickly[/QUOTE]
or just go to a brook centre and go hello i would like some condoms and have a sack given to you
Girlfriend and I ended up getting down and dirty today. We've been together around 2 months and have started getting very intimate. Ended up at my house, naked in bed and doing everything but sex. Now, she's a virgin (done nothing at all before me either) and im not. Out of the blue she said "I want you, in me" Now... At this point I sorta freaked out. I love sex, dont get me wrong. But taking someones virginity seems like a huge thing for both me and her and for our relationship and my mind couldnt just comprehend it and dont really want to have sex with her if it was just a 'spur the moment' thing, she's lovely and I would hate for her to feel crappy if she wasnt ready yet.. I pretty much said no and we talked about it. She says she's never felt like this for anyone and blah blah blah. Im 16, she's 17 btw.
Anyways, am I a bad person for not fucking her right there and then? What would you do? Next Steps? Why did I freak out?!
i don't know why you freaked out, it's not a big deal.
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