[QUOTE=Bobie;35743150]what[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;35742368]:/[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;35744113]what the fuck.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35744141]who even thinks of this[/QUOTE]
:zoid: I like to do stuff with my tongue :zoid:
[QUOTE=Legend286;35745868]Even if having a relationship won't magically fix anything, you might as well do it anyway if you both feel the same way?[/QUOTE]
I like her, she is the quiet type; the kind that prefers a pizza and the walking dead over expensive restaurants, though she didn't turn it down and we went on our second date. I have a very dominating personality, it's not something that I push onto people but it's ever present in my mannerisms and speech; she on the other hand is incredibly submissive and hangs on every word that anyone says.
A few days back I made a comment amongst friends (In joke) which was related to my favourite food and how I went about an extremely bizzare way of preparing it and presenting it. So, the next day; having overheard this conversation she went about preparing and presenting this dish not realizing that it was a very obnoxious joke, when I tried to explain the joke to her she didn't understand why it was so and just seemed incapable of grasping why I would say such a long winded thing concerning preparation.
I'm worried that she would take everything I said seriously and not know when I was simply joking or when I was very serious.
[QUOTE=dark_console2;35745635]I met a girl, went out to dinner, played the phone game, chatted everyday for the last three weeks. I spent quite a lot of time thinking that a relationship was what I wanted, that in some way would make whole the parts of me that were broken. (Recently gone from 3XL to a size S, one of those personal journeys of inner insight, I won't bore you with the details)
Point is, it clicked earlier today that having a relationship, something that I was starved of for a very long time wasn't going to fix it, about an hour later she calls me and goes on to tell me about how I'm such a great guy, how her life changed after meeting me and that she's never been happier, that she has found someone that will make her life whole.
She is pretty, intelligent and is the classic girl from next door; the entire situation is just a kick in nuts and I'm not sure what to do.[/QUOTE]
It doesn't have to fix anything. Does the girl make you happy?
"Only losers self-rate"
but I'm late. let me late myself damnit.
[editline]28th April 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=dark_console2;35746099]I like her, she is the quiet type; the kind that prefers a pizza and the walking dead over expensive restaurants, though she didn't turn it down and we went on our second date. I have a very dominating personality, it's not something that I push onto people but it's ever present in my mannerisms and speech; she on the other hand is incredibly submissive and hangs on every word that anyone says.
A few days back I made a comment amongst friends (In joke) which was related to my favourite food and how I went about an extremely bizzare way of preparing it and presenting it. So, the next day; having overheard this conversation she went about preparing and presenting this dish not realizing that it was a very obnoxious joke, when I tried to explain the joke to her she didn't understand why it was so and just seemed incapable of grasping why I would say such a long winded thing concerning preparation.
I'm worried that she would take everything I said seriously and not know when I was simply joking or when I was very serious.[/QUOTE]
Well thats something you work on then. Together, as a team. It was hard to tell the difference between joking and serious with my last ex, but give a couple months and we knew a joke from reality like it was nothing. its a learning experience.
Girl makes you happy, you make girl happy, go for it.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;35746423]It doesn't have to fix anything. Does the girl make you happy?
"Only losers self-rate"
but I'm late. let me late myself damnit.[/QUOTE]
I spent a great deal of time with the thought that a relationship would make me happy, that it would fix why I was such a miserable, cynical and at the very base of it all; lonely person. Now I realize that a relationship won't fix that. She's connected at an emotional level already, I'm not and likely to start having feelings for anyone for quite some time. After that shift in perspective I recently had, the whole idea of a relationship has been met with an overwhelmingly neutral amount of 'meh'
My family like her, my friends like her and my co-workers just think she is a bundle of fun to have visiting the office, bringing people's lunch orders.
She has sorta filled in a lot of gaps for many people central to my daily life but hasn't filled the gaps for me.
Just go for it dude.
[editline]28th April 2012[/editline]
You never know until you try
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35746546]Just go for it dude.
[editline]28th April 2012[/editline]
You never know until you try[/QUOTE]
Pretty much have written out a text both for and against over and over for the last few hours.
Will this open up new experiences for you? YES.
That's more than enough reason.
[QUOTE=dark_console2;35746598]Pretty much have written out a text both for and against over and over for the last few hours.[/QUOTE]
Yea but all of that is conjecture which is more or less useless in Real Life.
This is a chance to learn about yourself and another person, AND to have a good time while doing it.
Just [I]do it.[/I] What have you got to lose?
My half glass full reflex is kicking into overdrive, I don't want to hurt her more later if things go badly, ya know?
Even if she leaves you, you'll have hopefully learned something.
Stop being an angsty tool and be glad you're not missing an limb, have AIDS or third degree burns all over your body. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and make the most of all these splendid opportunities you've been given.
[QUOTE=dark_console2;35746842]My half glass full reflex is kicking into overdrive, I don't want to hurt her more later if things go badly, ya know?[/QUOTE]
Thats a very common fear, but unfortunately thats an inevitability in relationships. You can't just shut everyone else out of a relationship because you don't want to hurt them if things go badly. Don't focus on the ending, focus on the now, on the relationship at hand.
[QUOTE=Scarabix;35746008]:zoid: I like to do stuff with my tongue :zoid:[/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.facepunch.com/avatar/438240.png?garryis=awesome[/img]
[editline]28th April 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=dark_console2;35746598]Pretty much have written out a text both for and against over and over for the last few hours.[/QUOTE]
It seems, on the surface, as if you are very well thought and thoughtful but in reality what you are doing is depriving yourself of a thing out of comfort. You don't feel comfortable enough to test this out; her not understanding your jokes, hurting her.... you didn't give even one reasonable excuse as to why you shouldn't do this, but rather the opposite; you gave very vivid details of her personality and looks. For someone unwilling to commit, you sure commit as hell of a lot of time to such details.
[i]We regret the things we've done less than the things we haven't done[/i]
Stop thinking so much, as it leads to zero actions and therefore zero progress. We think we know everything, but until we've done it, we know nothing. Knowledge is theoretical, wisdom is practical.
^That sentence goes both ways; for you and her. Yes, she might get hurt, but she might also realize what is it she's looking for.
Almost every girl I've met wanted kids, and I don't. I'm still looking for that one girl who does not want children. Call me selfish, I just don't want children.
Have a girlfriend who's really sweet and nice and beautiful, and most of the time it all goes really well. It's just that she's kind of insecure about herself, has a lot of emotional baggage and I have to handle things really carefully - I've made a few mistakes before and hurt her really bad.
Have any of you guys encountered problems like that? How did you handle it?
[QUOTE=Sub-Zero;35571724]Been like this since September and she actually kissed me so I don't think that I am being friend zoned by her.I am just really frightened of the idea of her saying no to me this summer.[/QUOTE]
If you never ask, you never know. In fact, if you never make the move to ask, it will never happen. Always tell myself this if I never want to ask.
Worst is, she'll say no, you'll feel bad for a short while and realise there are so many girls out there. I'd understand getting hurt IF you was in love and was with her for a long time.
What if she says yes? You'll never know and regret not asking.
[editline]28th April 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=gufu;35576800]Oh god. Fuck the ones that stop every so often. I am not really afraid of height, but fucking hell, those things are terrifying to be in when they stop.[/QUOTE]
They took ours away :( Was half the size of the London Eye, realized something was different the next day.
[QUOTE=_zen;35748639]Almost every girl I've met wanted kids, and I don't. I'm still looking for that one girl who does not want children. Call me selfish, I just don't want children.[/QUOTE]
How old are you? Just because they want to have children one day doesn't mean they want to have kids with you right away, you do realise that right.
I'd like to have kids, doesn't mean I'd like to have them now. Probably not for another 10 years, but one day.
[QUOTE=_zen;35748639]Almost every girl I've met wanted kids, and I don't. I'm still looking for that one girl who does not want children. Call me selfish, I just don't want children.[/QUOTE]
Can I get your autograph, Peter North?
Fuck it. Just fuck it all. I always manage to screw everything up with the one girl I love.
[QUOTE=CaptainQuirk;35749405]Fuck it. Just fuck it all. I always manage to screw everything up with the one girl I love.[/QUOTE]
Come on, Cap, tell facepunch the matter.
I said lets start a relationship, 20 minutes later she was at my doorstep with shake n bake pancakes and Super 8 on BluRay.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;35749480]Come on, Cap, tell facepunch the matter.[/QUOTE]
It's a story that stretches about a couple years. This girl and I have dated a couple times. We've both liked each other very deeply, but never at the same time. Right now she's dating another guy. We met to study last week and we both felt strongly attracted. But she felt guilty about it. We were just talking about it I basically told her to choose between me and him. I pressured her too much. I have a tendency to fixate on my need for her, and neglect the fact that she is her own person without me. And that tendency is the reason we've broken up the past two times we've dated. I really hate how I act and I certainly don't mean to. But I think I've shown her that tendency one too many times now. I don't think I'll ever have a chance again.
[QUOTE=dark_console2;35749531]I said lets start a relationship, 20 minutes later she was at my doorstep with shake n bake pancakes and Super 8 on BluRay.[/QUOTE]
ur a lucky guy. im jealous
[QUOTE=CaptainQuirk;35749635]It's a story that stretches about a couple years. This girl and I have dated a couple times. We've both liked each other very deeply, but never at the same time. Right now she's dating another guy. We met to study last week and we both felt strongly attracted. But she felt guilty about it. [B]We were just talking about it I basically told her to choose between me and him. [/B] I pressured her too much. I have a tendency to fixate on my need for her, and neglect the fact that she is her own person without me. And that tendency is the reason we've broken up the past two times we've dated. I really hate how I act and I certainly don't mean to. But I think I've shown her that tendency one too many times now. I don't think I'll ever have a chance again.[/QUOTE]
That was your mistake this time. Right there. [I]NEVER[/I] put that question on the table. [I]EVER.[/I] Even if you do win in that choice, you STILL lose in the long run.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;35749772]That was your mistake this time. Right there. [I]NEVER[/I] put that question on the table. [I]EVER.[/I] Even if you do win in that choice, you STILL lose in the long run.[/QUOTE]
No shit. My heart literally hurts like hell. This is the only girl I've ever liked beyond a physical attraction.
[QUOTE=CaptainQuirk;35749635]It's a story that stretches about a couple years. This girl and I have dated a couple times. We've both liked each other very deeply, but never at the same time. Right now she's dating another guy. We met to study last week and we both felt strongly attracted. But she felt guilty about it. We were just talking about it I basically told her to choose between me and him. I pressured her too much. I have a tendency to fixate on my need for her, and neglect the fact that [B]she is her own person without me[/B]. And that tendency is the reason we've broken up the past two times we've dated. I really hate how I act and I certainly don't mean to. But I think I've shown her that tendency one too many times now. I don't think I'll ever have a chance again.[/QUOTE]
As you should be without her, imagine sometime in the future when we're all enslaved or on the run from dictator/robots/nuclear holocaust. You luck out and meet a girl radiant with beauty and only a little radiant with nuclear dust. You start hitting it off, and she starts telling you about what she did before the armageddon, but you can't deal with her existing before she met you, and now the human race is doomed.
Really though, she just sounds more independent, and what you seem to be looking for in a relationship is a sense of belonging, or that belonging has grown through your years with her and her individuality feels like a slap in the face. In any case it seems like you're pursuing her more out of fear of change, less because she's your version of a dimepiece
[QUOTE=_zen;35748639]Almost every girl I've met wanted kids, and I don't. I'm still looking for that one girl who does not want children. Call me selfish, I just don't want children.[/QUOTE]
Yet.
And on the kids thing, even if I didn't want kids... I don't really have a choice in the matter. My brother and myself are the last remaining young males in my family. If we don't have at least 1 boy? Our fucking [I]lineage[/I] dies.
oh no your lineage!
must preserve the blood lines or else the riches in your family shall perish
[QUOTE=_zen;35748639]Almost every girl I've met wanted kids, and I don't. I'm still looking for that one girl who does not want children. Call me selfish, I just don't want children.[/QUOTE]
It's okay dude. I don't want children either. I'm not ready, and I'll assume you aren't either. Too much dedication, too costy, not worth it.
If anything, your partners are selfish for not understanding your choices.
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