No really man, you guys think I'm scared and shit, but naah, theres nothing to be scared of.
The only thing I would be scared of is if you found my address, but then if you come to my house ill offer you a beer.
You guys are distracting me from work :\
You do risk losing a lot of stuff if you think about the info they have.
[QUOTE=SCopE5000;14816133]You do risk losing a lot of stuff if you think about the info they have.[/QUOTE]
Explain.
[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14816143]Explain.[/QUOTE]
If they contacted your 'girl' and showed her this thread you'd probably get your ass kicked by her friends and she wouldn't talk to you again for:
1. Pretending to shag her (if you pretended) and describing what happened in depth
2. Telling the internet
3. Showing her pictures to internet guys
I know what'cha mean, Making out with the tongue was amazing for me, the sex was alright.
[QUOTE=SCopE5000;14816166]If they contacted your 'girl' and showed her this thread you'd probably get your ass kicked by her friends and she wouldn't talk to you again for:
1. Pretending to shag her (if you pretended) and describing what happened in depth
2. Telling the internet
3. Showing her pictures to internet guys[/QUOTE]
Nah I grabbed images off of imagefap. I dont even know the skank in that photo.
So... you just admitted that the entire OP was bullshit.
Congratulations, you FUCKING FAIL.
[QUOTE=|BIG$MONEY$BALLER|;14816196]So... you just admitted that the entire OP was bullshit.
Congratulations, you FUCKING FAIL.[/QUOTE]
Nah, just the photos.
[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14816183]Nah I grabbed images off of imagefap. I dont even know the skank in that photo.[/QUOTE]
They still got your name and address and shit dude.
[QUOTE=|BIG$MONEY$BALLER|;14816196]So... you just admitted that the entire OP was bullshit.
Congratulations, you FUCKING FAIL.[/QUOTE]
Actually, if he's got you morons so fucking pissed he succeeded.
[QUOTE=The Mighty Boatman;14816224]Actually, if he's got you morons so fucking pissed he succeeded.[/QUOTE]
No one got pissed, we just didn't believe him.
You are all just jealuos.
[QUOTE=SCopE5000;14816252]No one got pissed, we just didn't believe him.[/QUOTE]
Her*
garry renamed the thread in General Discussion from “I had sex today, and honestly I don't think its as fun as jacking off.” to I don't know how to have sex right.
Hahaha.
How the hell [i]did[/i] he get the info?
[QUOTE=Hivemind;14816494]How the hell [i]did[/i] he get the info?[/QUOTE]
It's pretty easy if you know how to use the internet.
[QUOTE=Hivemind;14816494]How the hell [i]did[/i] he get the info?[/QUOTE]
It's called google.
Google
"funkyhippo"
or the email he listed.
my name, etc.
It's easy, especially if you use a nick name everywhere.
[url]http://www.google.com/search?q=funkyhippo&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a[/url]
[QUOTE=stupid07er;14810151]It sucked because the whole time you were thinking "This is going to make a great Facepunch thread".[/QUOTE]
Oh man, post of the fucking year.
[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14816561]It's called google.
Google
"funkyhippo"
or the email he listed.
my name, etc.
It's easy, especially if you use a nick name everywhere.
[url]http://www.google.com/search?q=funkyhippo&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a[/url][/QUOTE]
Sure, but your bosses phone number?
YOUR A DAMM FREAK WITH NO MORALS OR PERSONAL PRIDE! WHAT RAISED YOU... MONKEYS??!!!
YOU SHOULD BE AFREAKIN SHAMED OF YOURSELF 4 EVEN PUTTING THOSE KINDS OF LIES AND BULL CRAP 'STORIES' OUT THERE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??
FREAKS LIKE U ARE WHATS BRINGIN' THIS COUNTRY DOWN TO THE GUTTERS OF FILTH N DEPRAVITY!!
STOP WACKIN OFF 2 NET PORN AND DRINKIN UR OWN JIZZ [if u can actually produce any] CUZ IT'S MADE U A TOTAL RETARD!!
DISGUSTED!!!!!
she was loose, that's why
[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14810112]I know what you're thinking "Oh its just another goofin off thread/spam thread" I shit you not, its not one of those. Because today I had sex for the very first time, and I give it a "meh".
Seriously man, this is how it starts off:
I've been talking to this girl in class from Law school, and shes had always digged me, and I've always been digging her. Shes a red head, not too fat, but not too skinny, cute face and everything. We aren't those type of people that made smalltalk, we'd talk till the class was over, but we'd never see each other after class and go anywhere till today.
Today after class as she was walking the other way, I ran up to her and offered her some starbucks coffee, with her cute smile she said yes, so we went down to the starbucks that's under my apartment, (Yep, I'm awesome like that). So after I got her coffee I told her lets head upstairs to my apartment, and so we did. As soon as we got in I shut the door and she sits on the couch, looking a bit nervous and says "Look, we both know why you brought me here, lets just do it already!" I literally went :eek: So we started taking off our clothes and we started getting nasty on the couch. We made out first, we did the tongue kissing and wrapping, I even asked her to spit in my mouth and she gladly did, and then I digged my tongue into her mouth even more, that was literally the funnest part out of this session, because I love a girl's saliva.
So after the mouth stuff, we moved on to giving each other oral, I laid back on the couch and she got on top of me, she literally digged my face into her ass, I was literally licking her ass down to her panooch, no matter how nasty it was, I fucking enjoyed it, oh and of course she was sucking me off.
So we finally got down to me sticking my penis into her panooch(We even did more mouth kissing because the dirtiness is fucking kinky), it was good at first considering my bladder was full of piss (You get better orgasms when your bladder is full) she started bouncing her ass and rubbing my dick with her ass, then finally came down to the orgasm coming,she went even faster (I'm guessing we came the same time) and BAM! We both had an orgasm.
I didn't have a good orgasm, in fact it sucked, mainly cause her panooch wasn't tight at all, in fact it was a bit of a loose goose.
When I jack off, I jack off hard, and that felt better than the sex I had with this girl. Over all I'm happy I had sex for the first time. But making out with tongue and giving a girl oral is probably more fun real life experience than sex itself. Maybe an orgy party would be cooler.
I'm very proud of myself, and I'm sure when I tell my dad he will be too. And I want you to be as well, facepunch.
Oh, by the way, this is the awesome couch we had sex in
[IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/2e0mtts.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
[img]http://content.ytmnd.com/content/0/5/1/051332892881eb6a82f7bd5d4e35e39f.gif[/img]
OP FAILS HARD AT KINKY!!!!!
I FUCKING LOL'D SO HARD!!!!!!
Thanks OP i was pissed off til i read this, now im almost crying with laughter.
It was your first time, was it hers? If not then she should have really learnt to pussy-squeeze by now...
lol
loser
[QUOTE=Gimppy;14816700]YOUR A DAMM FREAK WITH NO MORALS OR PERSONAL PRIDE! WHAT RAISED YOU... MONKEYS??!!!
YOU SHOULD BE AFREAKIN SHAMED OF YOURSELF 4 EVEN PUTTING THOSE KINDS OF LIES AND BULL CRAP 'STORIES' OUT THERE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??
FREAKS LIKE U ARE WHATS BRINGIN' THIS COUNTRY DOWN TO THE GUTTERS OF FILTH N DEPRAVITY!!
STOP WACKIN OFF 2 NET PORN AND DRINKIN UR OWN JIZZ [if u can actually produce any] CUZ IT'S MADE U A TOTAL RETARD!!
DISGUSTED!!!!![/QUOTE]
lol troll alt
[QUOTE=stupid07er;14810151]It sucked because the whole time you were thinking "This is going to make a great Facepunch thread".[/QUOTE]
:v:.
Apparantly the first time isn't always the best.
You're more of a foreplay-guy.
[QUOTE=Deadollie;14817606]Apparantly the first time isn't always the best.[/QUOTE]
Especially for the Girl.
[QUOTE=johngrimm;14817025][img]http://content.ytmnd.com/content/0/5/1/051332892881eb6a82f7bd5d4e35e39f.gif[/img][/QUOTE]
Omg, this picture just made my day. :roflolmao:
On topic: Thanks for sharing OP... *shudders*
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