I don't know how to have sex right

[Frozen]

I lol'd at title.

[Linµx]

[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14810112] I even asked her to spit in my mouth and she gladly did
[/QUOTE]

You are one creepy fuck.

[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14810112][img_thumb]http://i42.tinypic.com/2e0mtts.jpg[/img_thumb][/QUOTE]

Your hand looks like the Michelin man

[Croix]

OP, did you take the picture yourself?

[WWIII]

You never go ass to mouth.

[Linµx]

[QUOTE=WWIII;14812487]You never go ass to mouth.[/QUOTE]

What if you have a scat fetish?

[Weeman89]

[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14810275]
[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/27wsy9t.jpg[/IMG]
[/QUOTE]

Give me a high five brother.

[Nachy]

[QUOTE=overdark;14812087]Well done, whoever changed the title :v:[/QUOTE]

Garry did.

[Nachy]

[QUOTE=Hunterbrute;14811520]I have solved this mystery.
[img]http://www.zilefile.com/files/6374_7cy08/debunked.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]

Great job detective, you need a promotion.
Also lol at bloodstain.

[rifles]

your p. bad at fakeposting

[Kasparro21]

[QUOTE=markg06;14812023]# garry renamed the thread in General Discussion from “I had sex today, and honestly I don't think its as fun as jacking off.” to I don't know how to have sex right

:v:[/QUOTE]

Oh god lmao.

[|BIG$MONEY$BALL]

Any progress finding her identity, boys?

[Aurain]

Panooch is the worst way to say Cunt ever.

[buttspoonce]

[QUOTE=Kensington;14810788][b]holy shit![/b]

[b]it's a man![/b][/QUOTE]

holy shit i'm in your avatar

awesome!

[Brodi]

Shoulda took a dump on her chest.

[sami-pso]

I don't understand op's problem. Many people enjoy the foreplay more than banging someone.

oh and thread title is confusing. Apparently garry changed it.

[|BIG$MONEY$BALL]

[QUOTE=sami-pso;14813082]I don't understand op's problem. Many people enjoy the foreplay more than banging someone.

oh and thread title is confusing. Apparently garry changed it.[/QUOTE]

:catholic:

[UncaringNonchala]

Congrats, OP. Also, nice touch on the picture with your hand pointing like, "THERE. RIGHT THERE."

[mikeyt493]

[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14810275]I'm not linking her facebook page because I found this pic on the internet and decided to pretend I slept with her and don't know what her Facebook page is.

[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/27wsy9t.jpg[/IMG]
[/QUOTE]

Fixed.

[Killy_Mcgee]

Fuck the sex, that is a nice house. A very nice house.

[The Man Who Spe]

"lol I sucked a sex the first time, im gonna go make a thread about it"

Dude, almost everyone blows it their first time.

[Tainton]

everyones first time is a bit shit, but it gets better and better until its fucking amazing (:

[SherpaMurphy]

OP... You have posted this on the internet, in the photo your hand is clearly clubbed and chubby, and knowing everything is proportional for the human body, I'm sure you're just as grotesque physically as you are in deciding what is decent to post on facepunch...

Conclusion: Lose some pounds, stop posting on the internet because no one cares...

Also, maybe if you didn't have a little dick she wouldn't have seemed like a 'loose goose'. Oh, and drink decaffeinated coffee, it'll kill you quicker.

[psych0]

[QUOTE=FunkyHippo;14810112]

I didn't have a good orgasm, in fact it sucked, mainly cause her panooch wasn't tight at all, in fact it was a bit of a loose goose.
[/QUOTE]
Her vag is good enough, you just have a tiny penis.

[Pepin]

[QUOTE=psych0;14813670]Her vag is good enough, you just have a tiny penis.[/QUOTE]

According to him, he has a large cock, meaning that he must have been really terrible in bed for her vagina to be really loose.

[Cypher_09]

[B]Suspects:[/B]

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v225/252/6/s1002527204_8563.jpg[/img]
Kerstin Leitner

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v227/820/32/s1331480796_3655.jpg[/img]
Stephanie Tiefenbacher

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v222/726/40/s776967561_6409.jpg[/img]
Michaela Gebetsroither

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v223/1834/120/s1650697122_2860.jpg[/img]
Claudia Hammer

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v230/763/91/s1593053399_7586.jpg[/img]
Viktoria Kreuzer

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/profile6/1459/74/s1523255410_1993.jpg[/img]
Patricia Mühlbacher

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v222/1863/19/s1465561581_5672.jpg[/img]
Nicole Grininger

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/profile6/1369/22/s1403055020_8796.jpg[/img]??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Esther Schauer

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v225/874/108/s1296842954_884.jpg[/img]
Victoria Kraschansky

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v226/136/71/s528854555_457.jpg[/img]
Johannes Janu

[img]http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v223/312/10/s220302402_665.jpg[/img]
Martina Stoettinger

[B]Facepunch, you decide.[/B]

[diwako]

Sounds like the situation I am in, just minus the sex + starbucks.
Monday starbucks. yes

[Nachy]

[QUOTE=Cypher_09;14813883][B]Suspects:[/B]

[B]Facepunch, you decide.[/B][/QUOTE]

God since when did Facepunch became super detectives?

[Cypher_09]

[B]A PICTURE OF HIM! (allcaps)[/B]
[img]http://i44.tinypic.com/2hi6lfk.jpg[/img]

He's the right!

[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?p=14203422#post14203422[/url]

[Cypher_09]

Wait what he's a girl
I'm confused, why did he say he was on the right?

[Click Here]

You sir, have either fucked a whore or are seriously shit at having sex because sex is ALWAYS better than jacking it unless you stop the second you hit climax.