Forums Discussion v3 - Post about Tudd and win a 1 month ban
5,023 replies, posted
[QUOTE=DOG-GY;52633423]As a kid, whenever I got mad over the small stuff people would say my dad would always tell me, "You gotta learn to laugh things off."
The things that were said there were harmless fun and nothing at all compared to what has been said about others on this site. Laugh it off, strive to do and be better rather than wallow in it.
I don't mean to victim blame either but there's a lot that [i]you[/i] can do to control your environment, and this truth should be especially considered for those dealing with issues surrounding concept of self.
That said, death threats targeted towards other users are reprehensible.
ps ban tudd[/QUOTE]
I don't mean to be rude but that sounds like an excuse to sweep generally awful abusive behaviour and bullying under the carpet as if its nothing.
I don't think so. The posts in question were lighter than what I'd expect from a night out with friends. It's all about context, and he took those posts way, way too seriously. Nothing in them were bullying or abusive.
Hell, unless there's some context I'm missing I don't even think the post that started it all was directed at pentium. And even if it is, so what? Should someone really allow themselves to be so affected by something so minor and harmless, that they have direct control over exposing themselves to? An OS icon on a gaming forum?
Like, if someone is unwilling to do anything to improve their condition then they have no place to complain. The answer is sitting right there to be actualized upon, and in this case it takes [I]less[/I] effort than not.
[QUOTE=MoopsiePook;52633451]
However, these men shall Duke it out in Mario Party 8. A trial by fire, if you will.[/QUOTE]
Woah, slow down there, Satan.
[QUOTE=pentium;52633297]Because I have massively fucking high anxiety. If you have not noticed, shit stacks on you after being on a forum for a while?
[i]lmao, its the internet you can just close the window[/i]
It doesn't work like that in the head of something totally fucking broken.
Snow in a title, using an old operating system (after a solution was given and quickly laughed at and dismissed) and fucking death threats that could of only originated from somewhere on this forum? You think I want this shit? This is a forum, not a fucking youth center. I can't even go away without knowing someone talking about me. This should totally be in the other thread too, I'm sorry you guys. Just please knock it the fuck off.[/QUOTE]
I think when people generally joke about the Windows XP or old computer stuff they're not trying to be insulting, I might joke about it but that's literally all it is, a joke. We joke sometimes at work about this guy that doesn't have a smartphone, but we're not bullying him and he laughs and joins in, but everyone's different. You're allowed to use whatever you want. Death threats are always unacceptable, I don't even get what would make someone that angry to do that.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633508]How does normalizing negative behavior help the situation at all?[/QUOTE]
I don't agree with how you've phrased this, and I think it's dismissive of the sentiment, but look at it this way.
My joke about Tudd intentionally had a hidden meaning. Imagine dealing with the shit that's been flung his way with the coolheadedness he's shown. For as much as I don't like him, that's something that most people here, myself included probably wouldn't have been able to do. You could say all the horrible shit you like about him but it will never really hurt him, because he [I]gets[/I] it.
Tudd's been called everything from a racist to a nigger lover and while those things aren't nice, he knows how to handle himself and laugh off what is almost certainly far worse bullying and abuse. [del]And for that he's dumb and gay and GET BANNED.[/del]
So always strive to be nice and compassionate, but on the other hand don't treat people with kid gloves. It's dumb and only a detriment to them. I know a lot of useless people who can't actualize on anything because they've been treated their whole lives with nothing but acceptance and tenderness for being useless, such as when they cry !!as an adult!! over the price of a meal they can easily afford. If I were actually present in that particular situation I probably would've told them off, because [I]nobody else would[/I].
Put shortly, you have to strike a balance in how you treat people, lest they never learn to manage themselves. You shouldn't treat people like shit, but you can't walk them across the street in horse blinders for their whole lives. That only makes it worse.
I'll just hand over ban complaints either to the mod itself or Hezzy. Apparently some misunderstanding regarding your statement can get you banned (e.g. my last ban).
It's good to be back.
We ban for outright harassment and flaming. Never have we banned for teasing or jokes. And that's likely not going to change.
If you suffer from mental illness, you need to take that into account when making posts that can be construed as controversial because undoubtedly, people are going to respond in a variety of ways that may or may not affect your mental health. The internet is a platform where you are able to curate what you see and what you don't see. The ignore function, again, comes in handy for this.
I'm sorry, but I can't take "I have a mental illness" as an excuse for not taking responsibility for not making good posts which then yield responses that you don't like. I have a mental illness too, but making good decisions about where I choose to post is apart of my management of that illness when I'm on the internet. Whether or not I'm a moderator.
You can take control of your own internet experience by ignoring people who are responding to you in ways you don't like. That's what the ignore function is for. Alternatively, don't post in threads where you know that responses to your posts will make you uncomfortable.
Unless someone is continuously harassing - and I mean [I]harassment[/I], not just poking fun at your posts, or flaming you, then no, we're not taking action against that. That's how it's always been on Facepunch. You're welcome to disagree with it but that policy is probably not going to change.
[editline]31st August 2017[/editline]
[QUOTE=RockyTV;52633545]I'll just hand over ban complaints either to the mod itself or Hezzy. Apparently some misunderstanding regarding your statement can get you banned (e.g. my last ban).
It's good to be back.[/QUOTE]
You were banned because your post was awful. No misunderstanding. If you don't understand that, you're probably going to be banned again.
Think before you post.
tudd if you ever rate me agree again i will roast you so hard you'll burn a hole to the core of the earth
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633357]Is this not victim blaming?
I'll be honest here, I've always felt bad for MIPS/Pentium, especially when users began posting personal pictures and jokes about him in completely irrelevant threads. That shit should not be tolerated here.
Reminds me of when much of the forum was anti-trans, and a lot of bullying (for lack of a more sinister term) went on here.[/QUOTE]
Not sure when FP was ever anti-trans, and apparently I've been here longer than you. I think it has a lot to do with the subcultures on here, there's all sorts of people on FP and in certain areas more of a kind might flock.
RE: mental issues:
There have always been people with them on here and while I love them and think we should pay attention to them, there's no place on an internet forum to play tippy-toe around a few of the thousands of users. I'll be the first to volunteer help to anyone on here, but I'll still call all of you retards without any regret. You can't tell people that they 'Have to get help themselves', but we also can't play therapist or support group for everyone with issues on here. If someone suffers, don't hit them while they are down, but if someone keeps getting into arguments you can't expect others to agree to spare feelings.
tl;dr:
Seek help if you can, try reaching out anyway if you can't, but also don't expect to be cuddled on FP.
[QUOTE=Genericenemy;52633398]Not surprising Pentium gets a lot of shit here, the attitudes towards mental health on this forum are fucking disgraceful. When people think its OK to refer to people as "autists" or use "reeee" and Autistic screeching memes among various other shit and it really compromises in my opinion that this forum is quite progressive. Its hard enough to deal with mental health on your own, its even more difficult when you feel like your being judged.[/QUOTE]
Not wanting to burst any bubbles, but having mental issues myself, I think that putting the words "autist" or "ree" on a special stand and forbidding anyone from saying it would only be harmful. I guess I would argue my point as follows: Making it into a joke is also making it more acceptable to talk about.
If you feel judged by someone using the word "ree", then sure that's a problem, but I don't think it's a problem that can be dealt with on here.
[QUOTE=James xX;52633624]Not wanting to burst any bubbles, but having mental issues myself, I think that putting the words "autist" or "ree" on a special stand and forbidding anyone from saying it would only be harmful. I guess I would argue my point as follows: Making it into a joke is also making it more acceptable to talk about.
If you feel judged by someone using the word "ree", then sure that's a problem, but I don't think it's a problem that can be dealt with on here.[/QUOTE]
I respectfully disagree, making jokes that use a mental health condition or that even worse mock or stereotype it are just straight up awful jokes in the first place. To me its as bad as making a joke that is racist, sexist or homophobic for example. It only perpetuates an already terrible stigma.
[QUOTE=Genericenemy;52633647]I respectfully disagree, making jokes that use a mental health condition or that even worse mock or stereotype it are just straight up awful jokes in the first place. To me its as bad as making a joke that is racist, sexist or homophobic for example. It only perpetuates an already terrible stigma.[/QUOTE]
I can appreciate that, it's probably that we just come from different sides of the same thing. In my house when I was growing up, it was always ok to joke about such things.
I guess part of it is understanding where the other is coming from when it comes to these sorts of jokes. If someone were to call me a fag, I would know in their tone of voice if they meant it playfully or not, regardless of the sexuality of the person saying it. In an online discourse you don't have that luxury. It's important therefore that give everyone a fair shake of the stick and assume that what they say is said in good faith (ie not with the intent to hurt you). If you do this, you will find a lot of your conversations with people more pleasant, and on the rare occaision that someone is saying it to hurt you, the joke's on them, because you weren't hurt by it.
We need a guru emoticon.
You know what? Nevermind. I'll snip both those posts because its dumb drama and I'll just keep to myself.
Sorry I derailed the thread like that.
[QUOTE=pentium;52633713]You know what? Nevermind. I'll snip both those posts because its dumb drama and I'll just keep to myself.
Sorry I derailed the thread like that.[/QUOTE]
It's okay dude, it's a conversation worth having.
[QUOTE=SEKCobra;52633612]Not sure when FP was ever anti-trans, and apparently I've been here longer than you. I think it has a lot to do with the subcultures on here, there's all sorts of people on FP and in certain areas more of a kind might flock.[/QUOTE]
i swear there was a time where the gmf shitpost squad was going around all over the forum making fun of and calling out trans people while regularly getting lots of agree ratings, which lead me to believe that fp as a whole was generally anti trans.
maybe i'm exaggerating the scale in my head but i remember it being a bit of a wide spread issue
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633357]Is this not victim blaming?
I'll be honest here, I've always felt bad for MIPS/Pentium, especially when users began posting personal pictures and jokes about him in completely irrelevant threads. That shit should not be tolerated here.
Reminds me of when much of the forum was anti-trans, and a lot of bullying (for lack of a more sinister term) went on here.[/QUOTE]
When I was bullied as a kid, my mom asked me "Do you do anything to provoke this?". I thought she was victim blaming me for years, even before I knew what that term really meant.
But no.
It's not a victim blaming question. You can genuinely be responsible for people deciding you're a fun target. I stopped getting bullied when I realized this.
You can do something about that. I don't think it's victim blaming inherently either.
[editline]31st August 2017[/editline]
[QUOTE=DOG-GY;52633423][B]As a kid, whenever I got mad over the small stuff people would say my dad would always tell me, "You gotta learn to laugh things off."
The things that were said there were harmless fun and nothing at all compared to what has been said about others on this site. Laugh it off, strive to do and be better rather than wallow in it.
I don't mean to victim blame either but there's a lot that [i]you[/i] can do to control your environment, and this truth should be especially considered for those dealing with issues surrounding concept of self.
[/B]
That said, death threats targeted towards other users are reprehensible.
ps ban tudd[/QUOTE]
Yep.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633769]I was also bullied as a child. I did nothing to deserve it.
I bullied others as a result. They did nothing to deserve it.[/QUOTE]
Then that's a shame
I guess my mother was a monster who victim blamed me into an oppressive existance?
I mean I don't know your story, but I know for a fact that in my experience, most kids who got bullied actually did something. Usually little things, but still things that they refused to give up on that usually resulted in drawing more attention than they expected those behaviours would. Doing so would eventually draw the attention of someone.
Now, I don't know if it's victim blaming to say "You're waving a light around, of course mosquitos are attracted to you" but that's what this is.
Shitty people flocking to attention grabbing behaviour sucking blood for their own sustenance.
It's never your own fault you get bullied, it's 100% on the bullies.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633783]Now you're just getting defensive, I am not attacking your mother. I am attacking your anecdotal evidence.[/QUOTE]
Doing things that draw attention in a negative way is your fault though. Other people choosing to be dicks about it is their fault.
But is it really, REALLY victim blaming to ask "Why did you throw chum into shark infested waters before going swimming?"
You are responsible for some of your own shit. They're responsible for their own shit. Victim blaming is real and bad, but I don't think every instance of "you had a role to play in this" is victim blaming and I think making every version of it victim blaming makes these conversations pointless.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633820]The things that people are bullied for cannot be compared to "throwing chum into shark infested waters."
People are not sharks. They choose to be evil.[/QUOTE]
We're talking about kids by and large. Kids don't choose to be evil. Kids are fucking stupid and callous because they don't know better, or are discovering what "wrong" is in different ways.
I mean I must be the only kid in history who did things that brought upon bullying, so thanks I guess. You guys were faultless, but I know from my own memory I did things to make it worse.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633842]Again, I am not attacking you or your past self. The main point is not about children, but about users on this forum.
And since we are outside the Rust forum, we can assume most people are at least teens. People know what they're doing here.[/QUOTE]
I'm not trying to justify people here bullying other people.
im gonna give you all a swirlie if you keep it up
[QUOTE=Grenadiac;52633747]It's okay dude, it's a conversation worth having.[/QUOTE]
Agree with the above, its no one's fault here, as someone who has been on this forum for six years as of today this uncomfortable for some conversation has been a very long time coming.
Just wanted to add that school is a poor comparison because it's an environment you mostly have no control over removing yourself from. Engaging with randos on internet is the complete opposite.
That distinction is important, especially because you have complete control over how you engage with others. Pascall and I pretty much said the same thing (with less sugar coating from me): bullying and actual harassment shouldn't be tolerated, but making excuses for your own behavior and not being able to take a simple joke is something [i]you[/i] can and [B]must[/B] control, especially when you have your demons to take care of. The latter is not victim blaming or "normalizing negativity" lmao. It's accepting reality.
[QUOTE=DOG-GY;52633916]Just wanted to add that school is a poor comparison because it's an environment you mostly have no control over removing yourself from. Engaging with randos on internet is the complete opposite.
That distinction is important, especially because you have complete control over how you engage with others. Pascall and I pretty much said the same thing (with less sugar coating from me): bullying and actual harassment shouldn't be tolerated, but making excuses for your own behavior and not being able to take a simple joke is something [i]you[/i] can and [B]must[/B] control, especially when you have your demons to take care of. The latter is not victim blaming or "normalizing negativity" lmao. It's accepting reality.[/QUOTE]
More or less what I was trying to say. Thanks, and sorry I had my foot in my mouth earlier.
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52633357]Is this not victim blaming?
I'll be honest here, I've always felt bad for MIPS/Pentium, especially when users began posting personal pictures and jokes about him in completely irrelevant threads. That shit should not be tolerated here.
Reminds me of when much of the forum was anti-trans, and a lot of bullying (for lack of a more sinister term) went on here.[/QUOTE]
If this is victim blaming, then how would you ever help someone improve their attitude, if not by leveling with them and being honest? Grenadiac's got the right idea. Be respectful and realize it's a touchy issue, but don't be afraid to be straight with people. Don't assume pentium has to be coddled, and can't take even the least bit of bluntness - if anything, that's far more disrespectful.
On that note, here's for pentium: I know you didn't come here asking for advice, and pages like this can feel really overbearing and intrusive, so I'll keep it short. The computer stuff doesn't matter in the slightest, it's a completely healthy interest, and no one sensible should take issue with the fact you like old technology. My only advice is that I think you could benefit from being a little less invested in some FP arguments. Easier said than done, I know, but do try to make yourself aware of how meaningless these interactions are, compared to the millions you'll have in your lifetime. Being mindful of your thoughts helps you think more clearly and more efficiently, so make an attempt - not for random users on the internet, but for yourself.
[QUOTE=DatHarry;52633757]i swear there was a time where the gmf shitpost squad was going around all over the forum making fun of and calling out trans people while regularly getting lots of agree ratings, which lead me to believe that fp as a whole was generally anti trans.
maybe i'm exaggerating the scale in my head but i remember it being a bit of a wide spread issue[/QUOTE]
That was a few years ago now if I recall. Back when some of the GMF were borderline untouchable because the rules in general were weirdly enforced. Shit I only posted there a few times and I'm sure I got away with shit I probably wouldn't have now.
But views do change over time. And a lot of the more outright toxic members from that time are banned, left the forum, or fucking dead. The forum has changed a lot since I've been here too. I remember being gay was still a weird fucking thing on here for a while, but as everywhere else made progress so did this forum. Mainly as the users grew up, it's worth remembering that a lot of the regular users here have been here for close to a decade (give or take) by this point.
[QUOTE=Kiwi;52634994]You can stop now.[/QUOTE]
It's all ogre now...
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Memeshit" - Reagy))[/highlight]
Forums Discussion v3 - Easy-Ban Oven
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52635259]Forums Discussion v3 - Easy-Ban Oven[/QUOTE]
I hope the mods don't burn their fingers!
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