Going Through Massive Philosophical, Life Altering State - Need Help - General

[QUOTE=The Salmon;21978016]Another thing I forgot to put in the OP (this stuff sort of flows out, I tend to worry about certain threads at certain times) is that when I'm at school or out with friends I'm really happy and laughing lots, but it just doesn't feel right. It's really hard to explain but like I'm having a good time and all, but I still feel really useless and depressed.[/QUOTE] It's because it isn't funny to you. You only laugh because they are laughing and they're your friends

[QUOTE=siberpredaht;21977989]eh, it's safer than taking advil - that's for sure schizophrenia, unlikely as well, there is not a lot known about schizophrenia and there is not a lot of evidence pointing towards the causes of it brain damage? nope.. [B]as for drug dealers, find one at your school and you should be fine..[/B] [editline]06:40AM[/editline] what a ridiculous anecdotal statement let me counter with one of my own the guys i hang out with smoke more weed than me and will be attending some of the best colleges in the united sates this upcoming semester[/QUOTE] I go to one of the best private schools in the state, even the most derelict and bogan people that go there wouldn't even think of dealing drugs.

[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/nowifthatsnotdepressing.png[/img] op, honestly: don't think. just sleep and eat and work like you are destined to do.

Been there, done that. Just play some games. Your mind is distracted and you feel good again.

[QUOTE=MRTW113;21978053]It's because it isn't funny to you. You only laugh because they are laughing and they're your friends[/QUOTE] No, I genuinely find them fun to be around, it's just as somebody above said, hollow.

[QUOTE=Aedan1;21978126]Been there, done that. Just play some games. Your mind is distracted and you feel good again.[/QUOTE] and by games you mean pass the bong

I went through what the OP is going through in a way, I've had a psychologist since then though, and now I'm completely fine.

[QUOTE=Frostbyte113;21978004]I have seen my younger brother turn into an idiot over the past couple of years by smoking weed. I am not going to argue over the internet with you because its obvious it will do not good for either of us[/QUOTE] How do you know the transition to idiocy didn't come first

[QUOTE=Zeke129;21978276]How do you know the transition to idiocy didn't come first[/QUOTE] [img]http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/ttar_lemon_v.jpg[/img] zing

[QUOTE=Aedan1;21978126]Been there, done that. Just play some games. Your mind is distracted and you feel good again.[/QUOTE] I do that and it helps, but then I don't get homework done and I lose friends. Also this no bump thing is really getting to me because I can't quote you and edit my last post :C

don't know if it helps but everybody gets in moods. eventually you just learn to say screw it and just go with whatever you feel like and see what happens

[QUOTE=Fourfingers;21978334]don't know if it helps but everybody gets in moods. eventually you just learn to say screw it and just go with whatever you feel like and see what happens[/QUOTE] I feel like making everything go away.

Life is just a ride. You're fine not caring. All you gotta do is go with it. Find a place you can be happy. Doesn't matter where or doing what.

[QUOTE=xenodrox;21978408]Life is just a ride. You're fine not caring. All you gotta do is go with it. Find a place you can be happy. Doesn't matter where or doing what.[/QUOTE] But doing what I would have to do to be happy would cause for more grief than I am feeling to others around me, whom of which I care too much about to do something like that.

Without the usual connotations attached to this question, how old are you OP? What stage are you at in school? Just about to go to college, midway through high school, etc?

[QUOTE=The Salmon;21978390]I feel like making everything go away.[/QUOTE] smoke some goddamn weed

[QUOTE=PrismatexV8;21978452]smoke some goddamn weed[/QUOTE] Sheesh, don't recommend that, he might die from THC overdose!

[QUOTE=The Salmon;21977241]Lately I've become really concerned of my lack of care for anything[/QUOTE] [img]http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/beauty3b.jpg[/img] Honestly OP, the reason you probably feel depressed is [sp]because if you didn't feel depressed you'd be a pilled-up maniacal psychopath. If the thought that you're living on a dying planet, being an unwilling participant in mutual suicide on behalf of a flawed species that constantly thinks in irrational, short-sighted ways, doesn't depress you then you should off yourself right now because it's already too late. Your brain has been turned to soup by a barrage of advertisements making you think you're some special little prince. The unlocking of the vista of Truth where insanity and death lurks around every corner and just the mere suggestion of what could be, and very possibly is, the real truth makes you shudder and recoil in disgust and loathing. The human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'. Only egotism exists. There is no recognizable divine presence, such as God, in the universe, and humans are particularly insignificant in the larger scheme of intergalactic existence. Perhaps we are just a small species projecting our own mental idolatries onto the vast cosmos, ever susceptible to being wiped from existence at any moment. The majority of undiscerning humanity are creatures with the same significance as insects in the face of mind-blowingly immense and inhuman forces in the universe which, due to humanity's small, visionless and unimportant nature, it does not recognize. The human world is but a fragile bubble in an infinitely vast and apathetic universe, isolated by great gulfs of both time and space. Though we consider ourselves masters of all creation, as a species our limited perceptions allow us to see only a fraction of the full range of reality. Beyond our pathetic awareness dwell vast and ancient forces, completely beyond our ability to influence in any way, whose merest thoughtless twitch would annihilate every trace of humanity. Our seeming dominance over the world is illusory and ephemeral. We are blessed in that we do not realize what lies dormant and unknown in our own minds. Now and then I think about what 'truth' is and it disturbs me. Once I uncovered it the first time it came easily again. Perhaps it was just a small glimpse of some greater nightmare which by accident or carelessness, perhaps both, I managed to see for a brief moment in my existence. The mere mention of how our greatest idol in the modern world, "Love", is only a disgusting act committed by animals to procreate and propagate their writhing, filthy species so that their offspring can take their place as destroyers of everything can slaughter mercilessly everything in which you've once held fast to. It's a unique existential terror whose existence shatters the worldview of those unfortunate enough to inadvertently correlate what everything really means.[/sp] because you're still under pressure from your parents and feel like you have little free-will. Just relax. It's pointless saying anything to you though, in my experience. Any serious consolation you receive will be from your own mind.

[QUOTE=pognivet;21978494][IMG]http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/beauty3b.jpg[/IMG] Honestly OP, the reason you probably feel depressed is [sp]because if you didn't feel depressed you'd be a pilled-up maniacal psychopath. If the thought that you're living on a dying planet, being an unwilling participant in mutual suicide on behalf of a flawed species that constantly thinks in irrational, short-sighted ways, doesn't depress you then you should off yourself right now because it's already too late. Your brain has been turned to soup by a barrage of advertisements making you think you're some special little prince. The unlocking of the vista of Truth where insanity and death lurks around every corner and just the mere suggestion of what could be, and very possibly is, the real truth makes you shudder and recoil in disgust and loathing. The human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'. Only egotism exists. There is no recognizable divine presence, such as God, in the universe, and humans are particularly insignificant in the larger scheme of intergalactic existence. Perhaps we are just a small species projecting our own mental idolatries onto the vast cosmos, ever susceptible to being wiped from existence at any moment. The majority of undiscerning humanity are creatures with the same significance as insects in the face of mind-blowingly immense and inhuman forces in the universe which, due to humanity's small, visionless and unimportant nature, it does not recognize. The human world is but a fragile bubble in an infinitely vast and apathetic universe, isolated by great gulfs of both time and space. Though we consider ourselves masters of all creation, as a species our limited perceptions allow us to see only a fraction of the full range of reality. Beyond our pathetic awareness dwell vast and ancient forces, completely beyond our ability to influence in any way, whose merest thoughtless twitch would annihilate every trace of humanity. Our seeming dominance over the world is illusory and ephemeral. We are blessed in that we do not realize what lies dormant and unknown in our own minds. Now and then I think about what 'truth' is and it disturbs me. Once I uncovered it the first time it came easily again. Perhaps it was just a small glimpse of some greater nightmare which by accident or carelessness, perhaps both, I managed to see for a brief moment in my existence. The mere mention of how our greatest idol in the modern world, "Love", is only a disgusting act committed by animals to procreate and propagate their writhing, filthy species so that their offspring can take their place as destroyers of everything can slaughter mercilessly everything in which you've once held fast to. It's a unique existential terror whose existence shatters the worldview of those unfortunate enough to inadvertently correlate what everything really means.[/sp] because you're still under pressure from your parents and feel like you have little free-will. Just relax. It's pointless saying anything to you though, in my experience. Any serious consolation you receive will be from your own mind.[/QUOTE] I love you more than I will love any woman.

Apathy is something I've always struggled with. I just don't seem to care about the things everybody else does, and the things I do care about tend to be a loose collaboration of ideas rather than anything specific. I like to read when I'm in a rut like yours. I grab onto something that does interest me, and I pump myself full of as much information on that as I can. It's a lack of action and notable progress in life that gives me that sense of hopelessness, and I fight it by learning. [QUOTE=siberpredaht;21977727]guess i lied then :([/QUOTE] It's cool, I don't know a single person who's been honest on their medical forms for enlistment. Hell, I've never even had the sniffles, and my tonsils just fell out on their own.

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;21978810]Apathy is something I've always struggled with. I just don't seem to care about the things everybody else does, and the things I do care about tend to be a loose collaboration of ideas rather than anything specific. I like to read when I'm in a rut like yours. I grab onto something that does interest me, and I pump myself full of as much information on that as I can. It's a lack of action and notable progress in life that gives me that sense of hopelessness, and I fight it by learning. It's cool, I don't know a single person who's been honest on their medical forms for enlistment. Hell, I've never even had the sniffles, and my tonsils just fell out on their own.[/QUOTE] I do this as well. I tend to do rather reading my simply epic RSS feed and scouring the web for information on a product I am interested in buying (half the fun). Speaking of which I think what prompted me to make this thread was a lack on activity on my RSS and other websites.

Smoke weed, get drunk, do it with a few friends.

I'm going through the exact same thing really...in fact it all started at the same time and got over it in Feb. It's hard...

I think it's just a phase... I went through that not too long ago.. Only stayed alive for my girlfriend :v:

Seems to me you are still in some kind of depression. I've been in a serious depression for over a year (serious enough to have serious suicide thoughts) but I've recovered from it, however for a long time I've had this don't-give-a-fuck-about-anything state. It needs time, and human contact. Best thing to do now would be getting a girlfriend.

My existential meltdown is mostly out of the way, you will get through it.

relax you just had too much acid

[QUOTE=PrismatexV8;21978172]and by games you mean pass the bong[/QUOTE] Video Games. :science:

[QUOTE=The Salmon;21977241]Lately I've become really concerned of my lack of care for anything, and I think I need help. I'm currently going through a rollercoaster of emotions. I went through a massive period of depression from November 2009 to February 2010 and kind of got over that, but now I just seem to go through the motions, and not really care about anything as it passes me by. For example, I have performed very well in school, and much is expected of me, but I just don't see the point anymore. It seems the only reason I should try hard in school and be successful instead of loading my body full of drugs and offing myself is that it would greatly upset my family and put all the support they have given me to waste. I become happy under hyper stimulation of my brain, like new experiences, adrenaline rushes (I BMX and Downhill) and taking in large amounts of information (that is of interest to me). But these just don't really do as much for me these days, and I'm leaning worryingly close to experimenting with many illicit drugs. I'm accepted at school, but I don't really have any close friends anymore, and have never had anything to do with a girl. Just writing this out has made me realize I'm just very afraid of rejection or being bitched about behind my back. I don't go to parties and I don't get out anywhere near as much as I used to. All of this really worries me. I am 100% against aggression, violence, hate and negativity for the sake of your ego. While I say this, I constantly am seeking ways of dealing with something, or someone that is having a negative impact on my life, and I can only come to conclusion that causing them pain or killing them is the only solution, and this really worries me as well. I really just feel there is no point to life anymore, and the only reason I don't off myself is because I care too much about my family and associates (school, etc.) and the effects of me doing something as selfish and suicide would have massive effects on them and make them incredibly sad. I don't want to mention this to my family as it would also make them very sad and worry too much about me and probably invest large sums of money in a psychologist, which I don't know would do much at all. In the end, I need some advice. I want to be back to being happy and caring about myself and my life. I want to be able to have ups and downs again, instead of making sure I stay away from something that could cause that and staying neutral. Just writing this out has just made me realize I do that :(. No tl;dr, only post if you actually care[/QUOTE] This is exactly how i felt a few months ago. Man, i really, really know how you feel. And personally, i decided to reach out to the world. Find kindred spirits out there, and walk along with them into the magnificent reality that surrounds us all. I used to have no friends here, but now, i have comrades with whom i shared great experiences. It got really bad last year. I felt like i'm a total wreck. I started losing my social skills completely; became really awkward. And then i moved away from the place where i lived. Confused, lonely and depressed, i almost lost all hope. But then i stood up and fought it all. I took control of the input, to become master of the output. I decided to improve the world one person at a time. Frankly, most people aren't worth giving a shit for, because they're fucking idiots, but there's some brilliant gems out there. Just think about how many people you see at, say, school and will never talk to. [U]The meaning of life is defined by the individual.[/U] You got to [B]think for yourself[/B], while being [B]utilitarian[/B]. That is, making everything as enjoyable for yourself as for everybody else. Humans are social creatures. Without others, you probably won't be able to be truly happy. All you have to do, is find the people who are worth it, and mutually give each other support and entertainment. It may be hard, but in the end, you'll feel hell of a lot better.

[QUOTE=The Salmon;21978568]I love you more than I will love any woman.[/QUOTE] Well there's your problem, you're a nihilist :v: Chill man just gotta ride things out and you'll be fine.