• Things Not to Say When Pulled Over
    51 replies, posted
[QUOTE=bulletshield;30658689]I didn't order a male stripper.[/QUOTE] "...but I'm okay with this."
Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers? Man: Scissors, I win! (Best joke ITT)
[quote]fuck the police[/quote] true story. Officier on bicycle, don't try to arrest someone in a car
If you're on a motorcycle, ask if he pulled you over for not wearing a seatbelt
[QUOTE=Ldesu;30544962]"No, I am not happy to see you. There is infact a gun in my pants" This may have been "invented" before but I just randomly thought of it and have never heard it before :v:[/QUOTE] am i the only person who thought this was funny?
"Oh sorry sir, I thought you flashing your lights meant you wanted to race!"
I thought I smelled bacon, but I wasn't sure until you showed up. *smile*
"I mistook the speed gauge for a clock!"
"Your wife's giving birth and I don't wanna miss the birth of my child"
I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.
[QUOTE=evilweazel;30919911]I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.[/QUOTE] Have you ever been to the In the News section? [editline]5th July 2011[/editline] Er...Sensationalist Headlines...
[QUOTE=evilweazel;30919911]I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.[/QUOTE] I didn't know you were... uhm... capable of being such a... douche! I'm not that good at joke or insults either... :( (Goddamn I want my emotes back!)
I have them thanks to greasemonkey. Well, now they appear on Youtube and every other site.
[QUOTE=evilweazel;30919911]I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.[/QUOTE] ur a faget
Gets pulled over for speeding. Offiicer: You're going too fast, sir. Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't paying attention. Officer: Okay then. I'll let you go with a warning for this time Me: Awesome! The two other cops earlier let me go with a warning aswell!
[QUOTE=Tukimoshi;30558027]"Do you know why I pulled you over?" "Yes" "So, why did I pull you over then?" "Because I'm just so damn irresistable *smile*"[/QUOTE] I did that to my uncle because he's a highway patrol officer and he just laughed. I've also done it to countless officers and they just gave me warnings because they needed something to make their day a bit brighter. I feel so helpfull.
Reminds me of something Dr. House would say. He's such a smart ass...Hilarious though.
Wanna joint, bro?
"I swear to drunk occifer I'm not god"
"Officer, you see that blue mustang that just past, We're in a race so if you can give me my ticket as fast as possible"
Hi, can I get a double cheeseburger, a large fries and a small coke, hold the ice.
[QUOTE=Corewarp3;30654829]If that's flooring it. You's not safe on the danish Highways.[/QUOTE] I think you're confusing KPH and MPH.
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