[QUOTE=bulletshield;30658689]I didn't order a male stripper.[/QUOTE]
"...but I'm okay with this."
Cop: Sir have you been drinking?
Man: No.
Cop: Papers?
Man: Scissors, I win!
(Best joke ITT)
[quote]fuck the police[/quote]
true story. Officier on bicycle, don't try to arrest someone in a car
If you're on a motorcycle, ask if he pulled you over for not wearing a seatbelt
[QUOTE=Ldesu;30544962]"No, I am not happy to see you. There is infact a gun in my pants"
This may have been "invented" before but I just randomly thought of it and have never heard it before :v:[/QUOTE]
am i the only person who thought this was funny?
"Oh sorry sir, I thought you flashing your lights meant you wanted to race!"
I thought I smelled bacon, but I wasn't sure until you showed up. *smile*
"I mistook the speed gauge for a clock!"
"Your wife's giving birth and I don't wanna miss the birth of my child"
I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.
[QUOTE=evilweazel;30919911]I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.[/QUOTE]
Have you ever been to the In the News section?
[editline]5th July 2011[/editline]
Er...Sensationalist Headlines...
[QUOTE=evilweazel;30919911]I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.[/QUOTE]
I didn't know you were... uhm... capable of being such a... douche!
I'm not that good at joke or insults either...
:(
(Goddamn I want my emotes back!)
I have them thanks to greasemonkey. Well, now they appear on Youtube and every other site.
[QUOTE=evilweazel;30919911]I didn't know Facepunch was capable of making jokes this bad.[/QUOTE]
ur a faget
Gets pulled over for speeding.
Offiicer: You're going too fast, sir.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't paying attention.
Officer: Okay then. I'll let you go with a warning for this time
Me: Awesome! The two other cops earlier let me go with a warning aswell!
[QUOTE=Tukimoshi;30558027]"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Yes"
"So, why did I pull you over then?"
"Because I'm just so damn irresistable *smile*"[/QUOTE]
I did that to my uncle because he's a highway patrol officer and he just laughed.
I've also done it to countless officers and they just gave me warnings because they needed something to make their day a bit brighter.
I feel so helpfull.
Reminds me of something Dr. House would say. He's such a smart ass...Hilarious though.
Wanna joint, bro?
"I swear to drunk occifer I'm not god"
"Officer, you see that blue mustang that just past, We're in a race so if you can give me my ticket as fast as possible"
Hi, can I get a double cheeseburger, a large fries and a small coke, hold the ice.
[QUOTE=Corewarp3;30654829]If that's flooring it. You's not safe on the danish Highways.[/QUOTE]
I think you're confusing KPH and MPH.
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