[QUOTE=nerdygamer;20823297]What raffle?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=hug9000;20821198]:siren:Raffle - CoD 4:siren:
[b]Oh, a raffle[/b]
Yeah.
[b]Prizes?[/b]
A Call of Duty 4 key. I got an extra one with my craphic card, and never used it. The problem is: I'm from Brazil and I can't send you the disc, only the key. BUUUUUUUT you just have to get a disc with a friend and play - the single is short and the multiplayer don't ask for the disc, so, profit.
[b]HOW?[/b]
Quote the "Raffle - CoD 4" with the sirens. In two hours and 40 minutes (22 hours GMT -3 for me) I will choose the winner with random.org.
[b]CoD4 key is lame blablablabl[/b]
Well, its 11£ bucks a key on g2play.net and f----n 39 dollars on Steam. Its a great game, and its easy to find a copy to use the key.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=hug9000;20823290]@ 22pm (in GMT -3:00, so in 1 hour and 2 minutes.)[/QUOTE]
Sweet, thanks.
[URL=http://img695.imageshack.us/i/44302280.png/][IMG]http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/7514/44302280.png[/IMG][/URL]
[B]Solid_jake, how have you been hanging man?[/B]
I've been neglected and I've ran into a state of depression
[B]That's the spir- that's messed up dude[/B]
BUT THAT'S OVER NOW SO IT'S TIME TO HOST A RAFFLE
[B]:buddy: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH For what now?[/B]
A 10$ game, sounds reasonable right?
[B]Yeah, now how do I enter?[/B]
Well this will require eff-
[B]:sigh: I thought you realized by now that everyone is lazy and will not participate[/B]
Well this is going to be and easy effort raffle, anyone can do it!
[B]Okay, continue.[/B]
Well, go to [url=http://www.the-elite.net/---/story/]this website[/url] and fill in the feilds with the hero's name as "Saxaphonius Giftanius" and the rest can be whatever you want. Then PM me the story after you've finished. For 1 extra slot, draw a scene from the story.
[B]Heh, sounds cool[/B]
It'll be entertaining for me as well.
[B]Well, I'm on it.[/B]
You better be :argh:
[B]And what a way to start a page![/B]
[editline]12:02AM[/editline]
[quote=Snipit from my own story]
Jobby The Hero picked up to a very ecstatic Saxaphonius Giftanius. Jobby The Hero calmly assured him that most venomous koalas yawn before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually explosively sigh *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Saxaphonius Giftanius. Why was Jobby The Hero trying to distract Saxaphonius Giftanius? Because she had snuck out from Saxaphonius Giftanius's with the Sax only ten days prior. It was a sassy little Sax... how could she resist?
[/quote]
Oh jobby
Oh, raffles.
OH WAIT RAFFLES
:D
Ow history it too long for a PM. :|
anyway, jake, i add'd you but you show as offline.
[QUOTE=Maxty;20823170]Someone has ever played Bioshock 2 with a gfwl key? Or heared about it?[/QUOTE]
Yep, you can.
The only games that don't work with a GFWL key is DiRT 2 and Warhammer, that needs a specific GFWL key (but you can play other GFWL games with their key.)
Sent Sniper Elite 2 to GawdOfROFLS.
thankyou so much 0mk.... heres the proof [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/9uaebn.png[/IMG]
[QUOTE=solid_jake;20823331][URL=http://img695.imageshack.us/i/44302280.png/][IMG]http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/7514/44302280.png[/IMG][/URL]
:words:
Oh jobby[/QUOTE]
Sent! I had to send it in two parts.
My story is so amazing...I'm going to make a picture of it...Gimme a minute..
Here's mine. [code] It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, Saxaphonius Giftanius, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling very displeased, Saxaphonius Giftanius attacked a dull pencil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few freaknasty minutes later, he realized that his beloved penis was missing! Immediately he called his former cellmate, Susan. Saxaphonius Giftanius had known Susan for (plus or minus) 61 years, the majority of which were electric ones. Susan was unique. He was clever though sometimes a little... dimwitted. Saxaphonius Giftanius called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Susan picked up to a very happy Saxaphonius Giftanius. Susan calmly assured him that most Indonesian devil cats sigh before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually sassily shudder *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Saxaphonius Giftanius. Why was Susan trying to distract Saxaphonius Giftanius? Because he had snuck out from Saxaphonius Giftanius's with the penis only five days prior. It was a curious little penis... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Saxaphonius Giftanius got back to the subject at hand: his penis. Susan shuddered. Relunctantly, Susan invited him over, assuring him they'd find the penis. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Susan realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the penis and he had to do it deftly. He figured that if Saxaphonius Giftanius took the homemade car, he had take at least eleven minutes before Saxaphonius Giftanius would get there. But if he took the firetruck? Then Susan would be alarmingly screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Susan was interrupted by nine stupid Chuck Norriss that were lured by his penis. Susan yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he fearlessly reached for his banana and thoughtfully punched every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the firetruck rolling up. It was Saxaphonius Giftanius.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of carrots, so he knew he was running late. With a deft leap, Saxaphonius Giftanius was out of the firetruck and went flamboyantly jaunting toward Susan's front door. Meanwhile inside, Susan was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the penis into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his elephant. Susan was concerned but at least the penis was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Susan surreptitiously purred. With a calculated push, Saxaphonius Giftanius opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering zealous...zealot in a spaceship,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Susan assured him. Saxaphonius Giftanius took a seat alarmingly close to where Susan had hidden the penis. Susan yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Saxaphonius Giftanius was distracted. Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, Susan noticed a funny-smelling look on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. Saxaphonius Giftanius slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Susan felt a stabbing pain in his armpit when Saxaphonius Giftanius asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the penis right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet spotted wolf hamsters. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Saxaphonius Giftanius nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Susan could react, Saxaphonius Giftanius fearlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The penis was plainly in view.
Saxaphonius Giftanius stared at Susan for what what must've been five seconds. Giggling like schoolgirl, Susan groped surreptitiously in Saxaphonius Giftanius's direction, clearly desperate. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed the penis and bolted for the door. It was locked. Susan let out a enchanting chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Saxaphonius Giftanius,' he rebuked. Susan always had been a little selfish, so Saxaphonius Giftanius knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Susan did something crazy, like... start chucking ninja stars at him or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his penis tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Susan looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eleven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Susan walked over to the window and looked down. Saxaphonius Giftanius was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Saxaphonius Giftanius was struggling to make his way through the fanstic pumpkin patch behind Susan's place. Saxaphonius Giftanius had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Chuck Norriss suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the penis. One by one they latched on to Saxaphonius Giftanius. Already weakened from his injury, Saxaphonius Giftanius yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Chuck Norriss running off with his penis.
About nine hours later, Saxaphonius Giftanius awoke, his prostate throbbing. It was dark and Saxaphonius Giftanius did not know where he was. Deep in the enchanting swamp, Saxaphonius Giftanius was alarmingly lost. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, he remembered that his penis was taken by the Chuck Norriss. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a oversized Chuck Norris emerged from the foxy forest. It was the alpha Chuck Norris. Saxaphonius Giftanius opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Chuck Norris sunk its teeth into Saxaphonius Giftanius's double chin. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Saxaphonius Giftanius's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than nine miles away, Susan was entombed by anguish over the loss of the penis. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened wolverine. With a hasty thrust, he buried it deeply into his love handle. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Saxaphonius Giftanius... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the penis that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Chuck Norriss, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
LOLz!!1
[/code]
[code] It all started when our protagonist, Saxaphonius Giftanius, woke up in a desert. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling overwhelmingly worried, Saxaphonius Giftanius groped a paper clip, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Subsequently, he realized that his beloved Saxophone was missing! Immediately he called his friend, Murdoco Chichenus. Saxaphonius Giftanius had known Murdoco Chichenus for (plus or minus) 61 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Murdoco Chichenus was unique. He was plucky though sometimes a little... insensitive. Saxaphonius Giftanius called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Murdoco Chichenus picked up to a very nervous Saxaphonius Giftanius. Murdoco Chichenus calmly assured him that most bunnies yawn before mating, yet kittens usually scandalously sneeze *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Saxaphonius Giftanius. Why was Murdoco Chichenus trying to distract Saxaphonius Giftanius? Because he had snuck out from Saxaphonius Giftanius's with the Saxophone only ten days prior. It was a sassy little Saxophone... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Saxaphonius Giftanius got back to the subject at hand: his Saxophone. Murdoco Chichenus turned red. Relunctantly, Murdoco Chichenus invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Saxophone. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed his piano and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Murdoco Chichenus realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Saxophone and he had to do it carefully. He figured that if Saxaphonius Giftanius took the truck, he had take at least nine minutes before Saxaphonius Giftanius would get there. But if he took the Saxta's Sleigh? Then Murdoco Chichenus would be extraordinarily screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Murdoco Chichenus was interrupted by five abrasive Leeches that were lured by his Saxophone. Murdoco Chichenus turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he recklessly reached for his paper clip and fearlessly attacked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the thicket, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Saxta's Sleigh rolling up. It was Saxaphonius Giftanius.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of butterknifes, so he knew he was running late. With a quick leap, Saxaphonius Giftanius was out of the Saxta's Sleigh and went exotically jaunting toward Murdoco Chichenus's front door. Meanwhile inside, Murdoco Chichenus was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Saxophone into a box of forks and then slid the box behind his couch. Murdoco Chichenus was angered but at least the Saxophone was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Murdoco Chichenus sassily purred. With a skillful push, Saxaphonius Giftanius opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling maniac in a 5.0 Mustang,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Murdoco Chichenus assured him. Saxaphonius Giftanius took a seat just under where Murdoco Chichenus had hidden the Saxophone. Murdoco Chichenus shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Saxaphonius Giftanius was distracted. Subsequently, Murdoco Chichenus noticed a stupid look on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. Saxaphonius Giftanius slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Murdoco Chichenus felt a stabbing pain in his neck when Saxaphonius Giftanius asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Saxophone right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A oafish look started to form on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's socks from when she used to have pet beavers. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Saxaphonius Giftanius nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Murdoco Chichenus could react, Saxaphonius Giftanius recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Saxophone was plainly in view.
Saxaphonius Giftanius stared at Murdoco Chichenus for what what must've been eight seconds. Without warning, Murdoco Chichenus groped charismatically in Saxaphonius Giftanius's direction, clearly desperate. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed the Saxophone and bolted for the door. It was locked. Murdoco Chichenus let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Saxaphonius Giftanius,' he rebuked. Murdoco Chichenus always had been a little annoying, so Saxaphonius Giftanius knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Murdoco Chichenus did something crazy, like... start chucking oven mitts at him or something. Suddenly, he gripped his Saxophone tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Murdoco Chichenus looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Murdoco Chichenus walked over to the window and looked down. Saxaphonius Giftanius was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Saxaphonius Giftanius was struggling to make his way through the desert behind Murdoco Chichenus's place. Saxaphonius Giftanius had severely hurt his back during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Leeches suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Saxophone. One by one they latched on to Saxaphonius Giftanius. Already weakened from his injury, Saxaphonius Giftanius yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Leechs running off with his Saxophone.
About eight hours later, Saxaphonius Giftanius awoke, his thigh throbbing. It was dark and Saxaphonius Giftanius did not know where he was. Deep in the inhospitable swamp, Saxaphonius Giftanius was ridiculously lost. Soon afterward, he remembered that his Saxophone was taken by the Leeches. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a huge Leech emerged from the jungle. It was the alpha Leech. Saxaphonius Giftanius opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Leech sunk its teeth into Saxaphonius Giftanius's thigh. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Saxaphonius Giftanius's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than eight miles away, Murdoco Chichenus was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Saxophone. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened sock. With a careful thrust, he buried it deeply into his face. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Saxaphonius Giftanius... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Saxophone that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Leechs, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'([/code]
[editline]05:28PM[/editline]
:sax:
gonna send to jake when I have the picture.
[code]It all started when our over-heralded star, Saxaphonius Giftanius, woke up in a swamp. It was the third time it had happened. Feeling very pleased, Saxaphonius Giftanius deflowered a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). In a tragically predictable turn of events, he realized that his beloved GIFTS was missing! Immediately he called his annoying neighbor, Meh. Saxaphonius Giftanius had known Meh for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were flamboyant ones. Meh was unique. He was easygoing though sometimes a little... oafish. Saxaphonius Giftanius called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Meh picked up to a very sad Saxaphonius Giftanius. Meh calmly assured him that most man-eating capybaras sneeze before mating, yet 3-legged wallabies usually sassily turn red *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Saxaphonius Giftanius. Why was Meh trying to distract Saxaphonius Giftanius? Because he had snuck out from Saxaphonius Giftanius's with the GIFTS only nine days prior. It was a electric little GIFTS... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Saxaphonius Giftanius got back to the subject at hand: his GIFTS. Meh yawned. Relunctantly, Meh invited him over, assuring him they'd find the GIFTS. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed his time machine and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Meh realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the GIFTS and he had to do it deftly. He figured that if Saxaphonius Giftanius took the noise-polluting import, he had take at least two minutes before Saxaphonius Giftanius would get there. But if he took the AwesomeGiftGivingCar? Then Meh would be ridiculously screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Meh was interrupted by six dimwitted Beggars that were lured by his GIFTS. Meh cringed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he recklessly reached for his wolverine and thoughtfully slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the lemur-infested moor, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the AwesomeGiftGivingCar rolling up. It was Saxaphonius Giftanius.
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late. With a deft leap, Saxaphonius Giftanius was out of the AwesomeGiftGivingCar and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Meh's front door. Meanwhile inside, Meh was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the GIFTS into a box of dull pencils and then slid the box behind his time machine. Meh was pleased but at least the GIFTS was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Meh surreptitiously purred. With a quick push, Saxaphonius Giftanius opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some clueless noble genius in a noise-polluting import,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Meh assured him. Saxaphonius Giftanius took a seat just perfectly far from where Meh had hidden the GIFTS. Meh turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Saxaphonius Giftanius was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, Meh noticed a selfish look on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. Saxaphonius Giftanius slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Meh felt a stabbing pain in his fingernail when Saxaphonius Giftanius asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the GIFTS right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A insensitive look started to form on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet man-eating capybaras. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Saxaphonius Giftanius nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Meh could react, Saxaphonius Giftanius skillfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The GIFTS was plainly in view.
Saxaphonius Giftanius stared at Meh for what what must've been eight nanoseconds. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, Meh groped explosively in Saxaphonius Giftanius's direction, clearly desperate. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed the GIFTS and bolted for the door. It was locked. Meh let out a flamboyant chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Saxaphonius Giftanius,' he rebuked. Meh always had been a little selfish, so Saxaphonius Giftanius knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Meh did something crazy, like... start chucking gerbils at him or something. In a tragically predictable turn of events, he gripped his GIFTS tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Meh looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Meh walked over to the window and looked down. Saxaphonius Giftanius was gone.
Just yonder, Saxaphonius Giftanius was struggling to make his way through the fanstic pumpkin patch behind Meh's place. Saxaphonius Giftanius had severely hurt his prostate during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Beggars suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the GIFTS. One by one they latched on to Saxaphonius Giftanius. Already weakened from his injury, Saxaphonius Giftanius yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Beggars running off with his GIFTS.
But then God came down with His attractive smile and restored Saxaphonius Giftanius's GIFTS. Feeling frustrated, God smote the Beggars for their injustice. Then He got in His noise-polluting import and sputtered away with the fortitude of half a million Indonesian devil cats running from a misshapen pack of venomous koalas. Saxaphonius Giftanius skipped with joy when he saw this. His GIFTS was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in nine minutes his favorite TV show, [insert TV show here], was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When 3-legged wallabies meet malaria'). Saxaphonius Giftanius was contented. And so, everyone except Meh and a few ebola-toting albino cats lived blissfully happy, forever after.[/code]
Mine. :O
Here is my image from the story.
[img]http://lh5.ggpht.com/_YnL-c9FC-ZY/S6LDVtjMlkI/AAAAAAAAANI/Q_qHDkizEfA/AlphChuckNorrisHasJake.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=Dr_MadMan;20823959]Here is my image from the story.
[img]http://lh5.ggpht.com/_YnL-c9FC-ZY/S6LDVtjMlkI/AAAAAAAAANI/Q_qHDkizEfA/AlphChuckNorrisHasJake.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
[URL=http://img188.imageshack.us/i/lovehandle.png/][IMG]http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/9686/lovehandle.png[/IMG][/URL]
[QUOTE=solid_jake;20824040]:wtc:[/QUOTE]
[quote]Saxaphonius Giftanius opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Smithers sunk its teeth into Saxaphonius Giftanius's love handle. [/quote]
Sent in both parts. Enjoy.
[QUOTE=Useful Dave;20824146][/QUOTE]
Oh my sweet jesus
[QUOTE=solid_jake;20824155]Oh my sweet jesus[/QUOTE]
Wat Jake?
[QUOTE=Dr_MadMan;20824165]Wat Jake?[/QUOTE]
Useful dave :byodood:
[editline]12:48AM[/editline]
Also, Neos's story because he's banned : [url]http://pastebin.com/DupiwfZZ[/url]
[editline]12:51AM[/editline]
Anyone wanna gift me just cause 2..
[QUOTE=solid_jake;20823331][URL="http://img695.imageshack.us/i/44302280.png/"][IMG]http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/7514/44302280.png[/IMG][/URL]
[B]Solid_jake, how have you been hanging man?[/B]
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]It all started when our (former porn) star, Saxaphonius Giftanius, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling excessively exasperated, Saxaphonius Giftanius groped a dull pencil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, he realized that his beloved Gifts was missing! Immediately he called his bed-friend, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius. Saxaphonius Giftanius had known Saxaphonius Guest Passanius for (plus or minus) 153 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius was unique. He was attractive though sometimes a little... clueless. Saxaphonius Giftanius called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Saxaphonius Guest Passanius picked up to a very nervous Saxaphonius Giftanius. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius calmly assured him that most long-haired sea monkeys cringe before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually indiscriminately yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Saxaphonius Giftanius. Why was Saxaphonius Guest Passanius trying to distract Saxaphonius Giftanius? Because he had snuck out from Saxaphonius Giftanius's with the Gifts only two days prior. It was a saucy little Gifts... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Saxaphonius Giftanius got back to the subject at hand: his Gifts. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius shuddered. Relunctantly, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Gifts. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Gifts and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Saxaphonius Giftanius took the curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala), he had take at least eleven minutes before Saxaphonius Giftanius would get there. But if he took the Gift Box? Then Saxaphonius Guest Passanius would be exceedingly screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius was interrupted by three clueless Dogs that were lured by his Gifts. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he skillfully reached for his ripened avocado and aggressively stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Gift Box rolling up. It was Saxaphonius Giftanius.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at IHOP to pick up a 12-pack of wolverines, so he knew he was running late. With a calculated leap, Saxaphonius Giftanius was out of the Gift Box and went indiscriminately jaunting toward Saxaphonius Guest Passanius's front door. Meanwhile inside, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Gifts into a box of ripened avocados and then slid the box behind his George Foreman grill. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius was exasperated but at least the Gifts was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Saxaphonius Guest Passanius indiscriminately purred. With a mighty push, Saxaphonius Giftanius opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive zealous...zealot in a spaceship,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Saxaphonius Guest Passanius assured him. Saxaphonius Giftanius took a seat exotically proximate to where Saxaphonius Guest Passanius had hidden the Gifts. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius belched trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Saxaphonius Giftanius was distracted. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius noticed a funny-smelling look on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. Saxaphonius Giftanius slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Saxaphonius Guest Passanius felt a stabbing pain in his love handle when Saxaphonius Giftanius asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Gifts right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A funny-smelling look started to form on Saxaphonius Giftanius's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's carrots from when she used to have pet venomous koalas. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Saxaphonius Giftanius nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Saxaphonius Guest Passanius could react, Saxaphonius Giftanius aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Gifts was plainly in view.
Saxaphonius Giftanius stared at Saxaphonius Guest Passanius for what what must've been two millseconds. Ever so extemperaneously, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius groped wildly in Saxaphonius Giftanius's direction, clearly desperate. Saxaphonius Giftanius grabbed the Gifts and bolted for the door. It was locked. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius let out a electric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Saxaphonius Giftanius,' he rebuked. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius always had been a little stupid, so Saxaphonius Giftanius knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Saxaphonius Guest Passanius did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened avocados at him or something. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, he gripped his Gifts tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Saxaphonius Guest Passanius looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame six days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Saxaphonius Giftanius. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Saxaphonius Guest Passanius walked over to the window and looked down. Saxaphonius Giftanius was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Saxaphonius Giftanius was struggling to make his way through the lemur-infested moor behind Saxaphonius Guest Passanius's place. Saxaphonius Giftanius had severely hurt his shin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Dogs suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Gifts. One by one they latched on to Saxaphonius Giftanius. Already weakened from his injury, Saxaphonius Giftanius yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Dogs running off with his Gifts.
About nine hours later, Saxaphonius Giftanius awoke, his armpit throbbing. It was dark and Saxaphonius Giftanius did not know where he was. Deep in the enchanting imaginery desert, Saxaphonius Giftanius was barely lost. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, he remembered that his Gifts was taken by the Dogs. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a shrunken Dog emerged from the fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the alpha Dog. Saxaphonius Giftanius opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Dog sunk its teeth into Saxaphonius Giftanius's kidney. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Saxaphonius Giftanius's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than five miles away, Saxaphonius Guest Passanius was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Gifts. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened ripened avocado. With a inept thrust, he buried it deeply into his fingernail. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Saxaphonius Giftanius... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Gifts that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Dogs, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'([/QUOTE]
[url]http://i43.tinypic.com/eufzb5.png[/url]
3 minutes 'till someone gets a free CoD4 key.
Re-re-requesting anything. Games, money via paypal, anything.
paypal\steam address:nightmare.designs@gmail.com
Paypal money is preferred, need to pay to fix a dent in a friends car.
[QUOTE=^0mKTank;20824423]Re-re-requesting anything. Games, money via paypal, anything.
paypal\steam address:nightmare.designs@gmail.com
Paypal money is preferred, need to pay to fix a dent in a friends car.[/QUOTE]
dude. 1337 posts. never post again.
[QUOTE=Tacosheller;20824481]dude. 1337 posts. never post again.[/QUOTE]
Will do.
[QUOTE=Murdoco;20824509]I still can't stop laughing at my story.[/QUOTE]
same here... Quote: Why was His Penis trying to distract Saxaphonius Giftanius?
[img]http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/6395/semttulovu.jpg[/img]
Sorry Inacio, you was late :(
Anyway, gratz Laurn :D :D :D
also 50 secs late rate me clocks :(
"Murdoco Chichenus groped charismatically in Saxaphonius Giftanius's direction"
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