My highschool has a massive syslab with 50+ computers all running Gentoo, in addition to the 15 other computer labs, and its all student run. :iia:
So one of the labs at school got "New" computers (Probably a few years old, under 2 GHz Core 2 Duo and a gig of RAM). Luckily, they got LCDs to replace the shitty CRTs that were hooked up to the old ones.
So we're the first class booked into the lab and I hear one student say "Oh man! I wonder how well Facebook would run on these things!".
[editline]1st December 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=MasterG;26436508]Picture the scene: I'm at a young enterprise meeting.
I'm the IT Director. I'm sitting with a bunch of moderately computer literate peers, and 2 business advisors from reputable companies.
One of the business advisors asks how the website's progress is. I tell her:
Me: "I still need to get some funding to pay for a decent hosting site."
Her: "Why can't you do it yourself?"
Me: "Oh, that would require us keeping a laptop or computer on 24/7, which would cost a lot in power consumption if we have to keep it on for 6 months straight"
Her: "Can't you just put it on the internet?"
Me: "No, you have to keep the server on in order to host a website"
Her: "No you don't, at my business you don't have to keep the computer on for the website to keep going :downs:"
Me: "No but the internet isn't just a tangible thing you upload the website to; you have to have the hard drives powered in order for people to access it"
You: "No you don't"
And naturally everyone believes the experienced business advisor, so i've got until next friday to host a website for free, without using any hosting websites, and without using a server.
Hurr.[/QUOTE]
Can you contact whatever business she works at and ask the IT guy there what they're using? I'm sure if you explain it, they'd probably help you out with the crazy bitch. If they don't have an IT person, I'm guessing that they're paying some other firm to do all the stuff for them, causing her business to pay that firm.
I have to print mine out. No corrupting files for me. D:
> Peers looking for fonts for their project, mention [url]www.dafont.com[/url]. Receive thanks, praises, told I'm so smart.
> Peers looking to install the fonts they found. Open Run > Fonts > Enter unzip the font (these computers don't even have WinRAR) and drag it into the font folders. Receive thanks, praises, told I'm so smart.
> Friend asks why everything on the screen is so big, I press ctrl and scroll the mouse wheel down. Told I'm a genius, thanks, praise.
> Use ctrl+c, ctrl+v "HOW DID U COPY/PASTE THAT WITHOUT RIGHT CLICK!?"
> Dad has been complaining about computer problem all day, go upstairs, restart computer, problem solved. I'm a genius, etc.
Shit like that happens every damn day.
My dad's very well-versed in computers, probably even more than I am. So it's a bit of a comfort knowing I'm not the only one that has to help my mom when she installs too many Yahoo browser search bars.
The most hilarious thing I find is when you add things like skins, or mod games like Counterstrike, an Xbox fag comes into the conversation and claims you are a master hacker.
It works [i]every[/i] time.
My teacher has no clue how to plug in our ELMO. It's something like a webcam on a mount that you can project papers through the projector. She spends half of the class trying to plug it in. I could say something, but I'm not going to do anything for a teacher named Mrs. Koch (pronounced "Cook" apparently).
When my parents told me to stop playing I tell them I can't stop it because my computer will get virus.
:smug:
[QUOTE=-Dazed-;26278409]I'm waiting for the update where your mother brings this up with someone who knows something about computers and you get yelled at for watching porn and for lying.[/QUOTE]
OP's mom in Best Buy
"So I was thinking of buying a new laptop, is there any way it can come with porn mode already uninstalled? I don't feel like going through the hassle of doing it myself."
"Porn mode? What are you talking about?"
"That little piece of shit."
was asked to do a video assignment for media studies
put together some 60-second garbage fractal in vegas and then banished the rendered fractal to the recycle bin
restored it
deleted it
restored it
deleted it
restored it
took it in and when windows media player wouldn't play it I just walked off with a smug look as the fairly new teacher looked confused
i was excused because it broke
[editline]28th December 2010[/editline]
another one
i'm typing in any class with a pc, not looking at the keyboard whilst everybody else is jabbing the keyboards with their fingers as if they were dead
kid next to me: HOW U TYP SO FAST
i always get some ridiculous idea
what i've said before
the truth: "I'm a complete nerd and I learn from experience because I do nothing apart from use my PC"
it's a genetic gift that only one in a thousand people have called fingoculosia
i've formed a meditational bond between myself and the keyboard
i have really fast eyes, i'm looking at the keyboard without you realizing
i used my little sister's v-tech learn to type
I'm somewhat blessed in that when I'm sat in my ICT lessons doing my work faster than most of the other people in the room, using alt-tab like a pro and speeding through pages and pages of work with little to no spelling errors, my friends don't really stick their asinine heads in the way of my screen and say "how u do dat?".
More often than not they'll just sit and watch for a while, eventually managing to work out what sequence of keys does what through the flesh coloured blur that is my handiwork.
haha, oh wow.
Anyway, I wanted my friend (A PC gamer who is PC illiterate, oh the irony) to get CODBO on pc (He eventually did) and told him it takes atleast 12gbs of space on his hard drive. He checks his system specs and says he only has 4gbs left. When I visited him his harddrive had over 5tbs of free space and his RAM was 4GBs.
He has such great hardware (quadcore, I7, 4GB of ram, hugeass harddrive, geforce 8800) but he doesnt even know what the fuck he is doing with it.
[editline]28th December 2010[/editline]
Also the HDD can process 5 GBs /minute, now if only his internet was that fast. I don't remember what model harddrive it is but it was expensive, next time I go to his place I will check what model it is.
[editline]28th December 2010[/editline]
The only reason he has such great hardware is because he has a strange OCD condition that causes him to buy the most pricey things he sees. Ah well, you pay what you get for. And in his case, an extremely powerful PC.
my friend was telling me that notepad was a scripting language like c++
wat
You can script with Notepad, but it is EXTREMELY HARD AS FUCK compared to coding correctly with programs designed for coding.
[editline]28th December 2010[/editline]
IE, notepad can't autocorrect certain errors that a program designed for scripting can. Also, NP doesn't tell you how many lines of code you have, and other useful stuff.
[QUOTE=Justice;26370436]It's because most of these kids' parents can't trust their own children to use the computer without doing something horrible. It's completely asinine 90% of the time. [b]Why can't you trust your own child to use a piece of technology they were raised around and you weren't?[/b] If the child is taught correctly and informed of what happens when you do stupid things on the computer, they won't do anything stupid or will do something stupid and learn the first time in almost every case.
[/quote]
That's the cause. As part of human survival, young people are more capable and more responsive to new items/ideas/knowledge. This decreases with age.
Fully grown adults have no idea what the hell that flashing thing on the desk is, and have no wish (and in a fair number of cases, no capacity) to learn. Having your children more adept at a task than yourself must be a fairly unnerving experience.
As for myself, my parents ask for help with a great number of very simple things (getting lines to print in excel, reformatting word, uploading camera pics etc.
I have repeatedly told them that I have no idea what I'm doing, I just experiment until it works. I've shown them my exact thought processes in that xkcd flow chart, but they still can't experiment for themselves, mostly, I imagine, for fear of causing some irreversible damage that sees the computer collapse upon itself and open a portal to the twelfth level of torment.
I'm going to get them to upgrade their relic of a contraption soon. Oh the fun that will be had.
Last week I was at a friend's house playing some video games on his XBox.
Friend: I don't understand how you can play games on PC, the graphics are bad.
Me: Actually, the graphics are better. Computers are more powerful than consoles.
Friend: Shut up dude, you're wrong. How could you have good graphics on a screen that small?
Me: Nevermind.
My laptop is abused, I have no idea how to maintain it. I started dating my boyfriend last year and since then, he's been telling me how to... "clear my cache" and everything. He also told me something about a LAN party, and I was like "...LAN... party? What?" but that actually sounds like fun.
I also screwed up the battery, it has a battery life of 5 minutes now.
The saddest thing is, I'm the most technologically apt person in my house.
So my dad put me in charge of everything-internet for his new business.
I see this ending very, very badly for me.
:saddowns:
Oh.
And my ex from yonkers ago, he's a programmer.
I didn't know about programming languages like java (Is java a language?).
I feel incredibly dumb right now.
Reel in the boxes! :saddowns:
[QUOTE=Upgrade123;27026099]My dad's very well-versed in computers, probably even more than I am. So it's a bit of a comfort knowing I'm not the only one that has to help my mom when she installs too many Yahoo browser search bars.[/QUOTE]
As is mine, but unfortunately he's been an Apple fanboy since the days of the Apple II.
He knows what he's doing in general terms and with OS X/Unix, but as far as Windows goes he still thinks it's as bad as Win 98 or 2000 (3 character extensions, etc.).
I am perceived as a super hardware specialist system adminstrative hyper technical person because I google the problem and use the first result
Back in 8th grade, I had a poetry PowerPoint due, but I wasn't even half done, so I created 20 slides with the same thing copypasted on each, then opened the PowerPoint with notepad, deleted a few random lines, to corrupt it, then turned it in to the teacher, and since it didn't work, I got a extra week to work on it, and I didn't have to present to the class. Got a B+ on the latter one, even though it was shit.
OP, she knew. she was just going along with it so not to embarrass you
In the music studio, we got a computer, some old shit they putted Vista(!) on, (the stupid idea of the "administrator", wich also fixes the furnace and the transportation, bad combinations, an old janitor and computers?!), ok so, our music teacher bought Cubase 4 and Toontrack, the latter dosent work for some reason, so because of the fucking stupid way everything is set up, the program breaks every once and a while(According to my music teacher), so he thinks uninstalling and reinstalling everything is a miracle cure, in the same manner that people thought mercury fixes your shit did in 1600.. So sometimes when [B]i get in, i ask what he is doing, then he stops pretending to knowing how to fix a computer, looks at me, very grumpy he splurts out "I know how to fix this, shut up and go play some drums or whatever..", then i say "Hey, you dont have to do that", then he responds "yes, this is the only way to fix it", i reply "no-" but i halt when he looks at me in this "i know better than some kid like you, fuck off scrub you are not clever enough" way, and i continue playing the drums or practicing guitar, this happens every once in a while.[/B] As if that old man knew jackshit about computers, he shouldnt be near computers as he freaks out even if its just the gagdet bar pops up ("YOU MALICIOUS HACKER SHIT", everytime, ahahaha), i have handled this shit since i was a fucking baby(I got a home video with me playing wolfenstein and a ski game of sorts), i experimented with QBASIC in the age of 10, and could fix most hardware related problems since i was 12, and software since i was 8.. this mans only knowlegde about computers are from that stupid 200$ phone hired computer technican he called to help him install Cubase, and its not even 'bout computers..
Then there's this stupid bitch who thinks she knows better than me because she has been at some commericial studios(Just another wannabe lady gaga, she cant sing for shit, atonal at best), they use apple, and say that it is the best, so she insists that Macintosh is the wondermachine that is best for everything, then i sum up some other systems, (i suppose cray is better for scientific purposes than some pesky mac..) wich are better, then she says "they are for studio", i respond "for home studios", then i mention free tools of equal strength, and she insists they are fictional and that i am lying, then i continue and she freaks out because she is not right and leaves.. never discuss computers with a teenage girl.. especially not one with OCD..
This is how a lowly funded school on country side is with computers.. horrible, fucking horrible.
I have exploited it tho'..
For a history class at uni, my professor (a real old guy, nice but totally technologically incompetent) always told everyone "You can turn it your paper now, or email it to me." and every single time without fail he would say the next week "I couldn't open up the papers you sent to me. Please bring them with you printed out next class."
Meaning any time I needed an extension for a paper, I'd just email it to him and than have it ready the next week because he was never able to unzip the papers.
[QUOTE=Edgar Allan Poe;27031695]Last week I was at a friend's house playing some video games on his XBox.
Friend: I don't understand how you can play games on PC, the graphics are bad.
Me: Actually, the graphics are better. Computers are more powerful than consoles.
Friend: Shut up dude, you're wrong. How could you have good graphics on a screen that small?
Me: Nevermind.[/QUOTE]
Ask him how enjoys playing games with no anti-aliasing, or if he even knows what that word means.
Whenever my mum finds something I don't want her to find (which doesn't happen often) I blame facepunch.
Interestingly, my dad has accepted that I can do one or two things that he can't :raise:
Meaning I have suprisingly few problems with him
At Aunts house for thanksgiving.
log in to facepunch and show my cousin some threads.
Aunt: "Hey! you better not be getting me any kind of virus!"
Me: "We're not, just looking at forums and youtube"
Aunt: "Run my anti-virus program anyways!"
I run the suspicous anti virus program I've never heard of on her PC. HHHhhmmmmmm...
i plugged a computer in for this old guy and he just looked at me like: "you are a genius"
I converted some video files because they wouldn't play and my neighbour was all upset about it.
I got 150$.
So my girlfriend is pretty nifty with a guitar and was writing a song for her Mum for her 50th. She uses the old family iMac with a USB mic to record things she plays. She recorded the song for her mum and dumped it on the desktop.
"Hey, doesn't your Mum use this computer too?"
"Yeah."
"You should hide them so she doesn't accidentally open them before the big day."
"Oh, good idea!"
At this point, she proceeded to click and drag a bunch of other icons from the desktop on top of the files she just created, obscuring them from view.
"There we go, hidden."
In fairness, her Mum probably wouldn't have found them. They're as bad as each other.
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