My mom doesn't understand the concept of a tabbed browser (uses Chrome.)
When she asks to use my computer, I always ask her to just close out of that tab. When she's finished, my desktop is displayed. I know Chrome saves what i've been doing prior to the browser closing, but it's still silly/annoying. Yesterday, she wanted to look at some website she ordered a shirt from about exchanging it or something, I barely payed attention. And when I came back, there was a tab opened to 4Chan. I just thank god she didn't decide to go clicking around.
A kid came up to me at school and said,
Kid: [i]"Hey, I heard you were a super hacker or something"[/i]
I decided to roll with it.
Me: [i]"Pfft, yeah. I bypassed a firewall in 3 seconds"[/i] (:downs:)
[i]Kid: "Dude! Could you jailbreak my iPhone for me?"
Me: "Uh, sure. Let me see it."[/i]
I looked at the phone, it was running 3.1
Me: [i]"Haven't you updated to iOS?"
Kid: "What's that?"
Me: "Nevermind."[/i]
He gave me the phone overnight to jailbreak, and offered money for it. I walked home, and went to jailbreakme.com, done.
Next day, handed it back to him.
Kid: [i]"DUDE!!! YOU R AMAZIN!"[/i]
$30 for my wallet.
[editline].[/editline]
I was at a party, there was a programmer there. I walked up to the crowd, and there were like 10 xbox players.
Xbox players: [i]"DUDE! CAN YOU HACK MY XBOX FOR ME? THAT WOULD BE [b]SOOO[/b] AMAZING!"[/i]
:doh:
I walked away
friends doing year 11 IT applications
already did year 11 IT apps
really basic programming (gamemaker language)
macfag says he knows the course back to front
friend needs some help understanding some of it
macfag gets 12/50 on assessment, friend gets 48/50
receive box of chocolates for aforementioned help :buddy:
[QUOTE=certified;27030758]
[editline]28th December 2010[/editline]
The only reason he has such great hardware is because he has a strange OCD condition that causes him to buy the most pricey things he sees. Ah well, you pay what you get for. And in his case, an extremely powerful PC.[/QUOTE]
Having been diagnosed with OCD myself all I can say is:
That really, really, really sucks. My OCD only interferes with my ability to do work, and not with my judgement. Also, why didn't he get a Mac :v:?
I recently got a new laptop for school. My sister approached me asking how much it cost, and I told her it cost $1300. She's like "Whoa, that's expensive, you should've just gotten a Macbook pro, they're so much better and only a little more expensive, and can do everything that a PC can do and can even do it better".
So, we compared hardware. She insisted that her Mac, which had a 2.16Ghz dual core processor, 2gb of ddr2 ram, 250gb 5200rpm hdd, and some integraded graphics card, was better than my current laptop that has an i7 720QM, ATI Mobile HD 5650, 6gb DDR3 ram, and 1tb 7200rpm hdd.
Even though I explained to her what each of that meant, and how each part was significantly better performance wise than what she has in her Mac (she is retarded with computers), she insisted that hers was still more powerful because "It's a Mac, and Mac's are the most powerful computers you can buy."
[QUOTE=Frisk;27055240]I recently got a new laptop for school. My sister approached me asking how much it cost, and I told her it cost $1300. She's like "Whoa, that's expensive, you should've just gotten a Macbook pro, they're so much better and only a little more expensive, and can do everything that a PC can do and can even do it better".
So, we compared hardware. She insisted that her Mac, which had a 2.16Ghz dual core processor, 2gb of ddr2 ram, 250gb 5200rpm hdd, and some integraded graphics card, was better than my current laptop that has an i7 720QM, ATI Mobile HD 5650, 6gb DDR3 ram, and 1tb 7200rpm hdd.
Even though I explained to her what each of that meant, and how each part was significantly better performance wise than what she has in her Mac (she is retarded with computers), she insisted that hers was still more powerful because "It's a Mac, and Mac's are the most powerful computers you can buy."[/QUOTE]
buy her a dildo (don't let her know you bought it)
turn it into a bomb
My grandfather can't use his computer properly. So he pays me to help him.
My grandparents and parents don't understand how Facebook works. I spent an hour yesterday trying to explain it to them. They still don't get it, and we've had this "conversation" at least three times before.
I woke up hearing a bunch of fucking rattling, my mom was trying to figure out how to get audio to play through the speakers. She was twisting knobs on the speakers that are obviously not going to turn them on, like Bass or Treble. I walked in and flipped the switch on the back of the Subwoofer.
Whenever I'm doing something on the computer for my mum she always tells me to slow down, because apparently she takes about 5 minutes to scan a google results page. If she's bloody asked me to look for something then I'll do it at my pace, not hers. I'm also not allowed to scroll down to fast or it confuses her.
My school's computers are pretty bad, but atleast they removed vista and installed xp
Basically, for my whole entire school we have one IT guy. He's a senior and he's about to graduate. Not only the fact that the school completely ignores all my good gestures over his, but this motherfucker is a mac elitist, and I MEAN elitist. Basically for one week the schools wifi was down so I asked the librarian "Hey can I check out the router to see what's wrong?" She says "No, only he can do that". So later he comes up and says:
[b]"Ah I can't do this, this is a pc thing"[/b]
All I can think is
[b]What the fuck[/b]
My mom is so bad at computers that I have to compare stuff, so for all she knows, .zip files are the equivalent of buckets.
Dad atleast learns the stuff I tell him, allthough It's troublesome to teach him.
-DON'T FUCKNIG CLICK THAT UNTIL YOU'VE TOLD ME WHAT IT DOES!
-GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE TOUCHPAD! NOW TELL ME WHAT I'M GONNA DO!
I love how my Computer Info Systems teacher tells me to slow down whenever I'm ahead of the class :v:
It's especially rather amusing when he's watching me over my shoulder (such as when we were learning to reformat and install Windows XP, and we were just setting up user accounts and domain settings) and he's just like "Wait wait wait, go back and do it again and SLOW down!"
Staying at relative's house, find an old computer stashed away disused and decide to plug it in. They come in and see me and insist on giving me £20 for 'making it work'.
My mom is completely clueless as to how to use a tv remote, A FUCKING TV REMOTE. How the fuck can anyone be that dumb? She said it was "too hard" to go to the channel guide, when I told her to press the button to the left of select.
Goddammit.
I told my mom the porn was an ad from a virus on my computer
[QUOTE=Noth;27037935]I helped a friend pick out her new laptop, and got laid :smug:[/QUOTE]
yeahno
[QUOTE=Number-41;26309253]I said I had to get to a "save point" in HL1 :v:[/QUOTE]
oh god, this
mum: get off the playsation
me: okay I'll just get to a save point
even worked once when I was playing world of warcraft, but then my brother told her the truth
Is it bad that I'm a go-to guy for even my tech literate friends? It seems I'm the only one who knows how to troubleshoot on the PC, so although my friends know a significant amount about computers (Built their own computers, etc) it seems like I'm the only one who will spend time troubleshooting (I.E: Investigating the 'obvious' sources and googling the problem)
I always use the classic "I just need to get to a save point"
[QUOTE=Tukimoshi;27169528]Is it bad that I'm a go-to guy for even my tech literate friends? It seems I'm the only one who knows how to troubleshoot on the PC, so although my friends know a significant amount about computers (Built their own computers, etc) it seems like I'm the only one who will spend time troubleshooting (I.E: Investigating the 'obvious' sources and googling the problem)[/QUOTE]
Same with me. Always end up with me helping them with problems. Sure they know what hardware is good, and other stuff.
But fucking google an error code or something? No way it's too hard for them.
Most of all, my brother does this.
"Can you help me? When I launch this program, it says blabla.dll is missing. What do I do?
/rant
All these stories of people saying stupid shit about how Apple computers are best for no reason just furthers why no one will ever easily respect someone that runs a Mac OS.
Such as myself.
:eng99:
A long time ago at my mom's house, she took the power cord for my laptop because I "was being mean." So I took the RAM from our desktop and put it in my pocket until she decided to give me back the cord do a machine she didn't buy.
Similar is the time she tried to blame me for messing up the router. I then had to spend the next 4 hours teaching myself how to fix it (I was 14 and this was before I took most of my computer classes and had much experience with any form of intricacies) and figure out what was wrong. I got to pick where we had dinner, I guess.
One more is my high school and the other school in our district were in a voting poll online. They had no limitations to how many times you could vote. Many of us made a bunch of macro programs to vote as many times as possible and ended up DDoSing the site by accident.
Years ago when we first had a 56k modem and internet was paid by the minute:
My brother searching for information about kayaking for a presentation on school but right when my father came to checkup on him a porno pop-up came.
Whacking him on the head and yelling "IS THIS WHAT YOU USE MY MONEY FOR?!" and kicking him to his room, my mom ordered my dad (that's rare, i know) to make the presentation for my brother instead.
Hilariously enough, he got thesame pop-up and had to apologize to my brother.
[QUOTE=Assburgers;27169685]I always use the classic "I just need to get to a save point"[/QUOTE]
None of these excuses ever work for me.
My mom is afraid of Google Chrome, and any other software she hadn't used.
And a few years back me and all my buddies thought video card memory boosted processing performance.
I'm known as the Computer Guru out of my friends, even though i'm not that knowledgable-- I'm just dynamic enough to get what I want.
[QUOTE=MovingSalad;27174358]I'm known as the Computer Guru out of my friends, even though i'm not that knowledgable-- I'm just dynamic enough to get what I want.[/QUOTE]
This kinda applies to me.
I wouldn't say I know very much but I guess it's just the way I can learn/ pick up on things; it's a lot more intuitive than most people, it would seem.
Although seeing as most people would probably believe you if you told them that linux was outlawed hacker software and that you could download more RAM on the internet, then I suppose that isn't saying much.
I still remember the times when I still was at the primary school. One time, one of our teachers wasn't at school that day and we were sent to wait in the school room.
I saw old PC's over there running Windows 98 and one, I think a 486 with DOS on it. All Windows machines were in Safe Mode and I decided to mess around just for the laughs.
I whipped up a quick bat that opens up tons of applications effectively freezing the computer (64MB HURR DURR). As GTA games were rather popular in my school (even the first grade kids played that!) I named it GTA 4. I walked away from it and saw another kid sitting on the chair and looking around on the PC.
It's pretty easy to guess what happened 15 seconds later.
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