ROFLBURGER'S rules to being a man. - General

it's more of a guide on conversing with women really.

[QUOTE=Lambeth;19770791]My what?[/QUOTE] Oh god damn it, my bad.

[QUOTE=TH89;19770736]Do you have something against retarded people? What makes them less worthy of your paternal protection and righteous outrage than people who diddle dudes?[/QUOTE] I'm sorry if I insulted you.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;19769570]At school today, me and my friend decided to right some rules that all boys and men should follow, but sadly the bitchy teacher took away the damn thing, so here is what I remember: [B][U]0.8 second rule[/U][/B]: [B][I][U]ONLY IF When in a conversation with another women[/U][/I][/B], only stare at her/someone else's boobs/ass/thighs for 0.8 seconds, if you don't know how long that is then its the same amount of time when saying the letter "A" If else then look at her trunk for as long as you want, but don't get caught! lol mousetrap commercial [B][U]Smack that[/U][/B]: If you are too scared to get smacked, then don't smack that (If you can't stand being slapped across the face, then don't slap her ass) [B][U]Don't ask, don't tell[/U][/B]: Don't ask or don't tell anything about anything girls wouldn't know, like Modern Warfare 2, Halo, Dungeons and Dragons, World of Warcraft or any porn website. The only websites you should talk about is Facebook and Twitter. If you dare talk about myspace, prepare to get kicked in the balls. [B][U]Respond anyways[/U][/B]: If you can't really hear the girl talking/she bores you/your disobeying the 0.8 second rule, then remember the tone of her voice... if it's: - Angry, Then say: That's stupid/retarded/gay/homosexual - Sad, then say: Ouch/dammit/jeez/fuck/piss/shit [B]*NOTE!!* This is the perfect time to hug her![/B] - Happy, then say: Awesome/nice/wow/cool - Also: If she's complaining/lecturing then Agree with her. - Below is the "How to" section, it's a WIP btw How to Delay: Say something in another language. It's simple, stupid.[/QUOTE] Great read. I wish I could come up or even follow my own super awesome rules like this.

You don't associate with many women, do you? And if you do, I'm sorry if I offended you.

piss seems like a weird reply

This is a guide to be with women not a guide to be a man, you can't change it if you're not one.

How bout, act all normal, and don't be some anti social kid. And don't bring your friend who is a cockblocker. Happened to many times to me.

Thank you, I picked up 5 chicks in the period of half an hour, they are in my room removing their clothing.

This is the most flawed guide I have ever seen. This is so dumb that it makes me question OP's intelligence. OP must be 12.

"oh piss, that's homosexual..." nope, can't see this ever ever working, sorry op

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;19769570] If you dare talk about myspace, prepare to get kicked in the balls. [/QUOTE] Lies. My high school doesn't even know how to use ''Facebook and Twitter'' Lol, ghetto population, I know. It's all about signing on myspace and talking like ''4y3 wuz ^ G da fuk u doin tmarow?''

wow your totally right! now i know how to talk to girls thanks man! now whenever your 10th birthday is i bet these rules will change i hope.. :geno: /sarcastic

[B]Biotoxsin's Suggestion for a new GD rule[/B] Don't make threads on how to be a man until your balls have already dropped.

where is the part about sucking cocks like a man?

:[QUOTE=Biotoxsin;19774178][B]Biotoxsin's Suggestion for a new GD rule[/B] Don't make threads on how to be a man until your balls have already dropped.[/QUOTE] :ramsay:

[QUOTE=NickFury666;19774200]where is the part about sucking cocks like a man?[/QUOTE] I don't know can you teach me?

[QUOTE=Master117;19773734]This is the most flawed guide I have ever seen. This is so dumb that it makes me question OP's intelligence. OP must be 12.[/QUOTE] welcome to facepunch nonetheless general discussion

If i need to stare at an ass/tits, I wait til they're not looking at me, and if they are, I just make it look like i need to turn my head to something next to me, turn my head back, and just take swiping looks.

[QUOTE=codenamecueball;19769746]I caught myself looking at some hot guys ass... Is that bad?[/QUOTE] Not at all dear.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;19769570] 0.8 second rule: [B]ONLY IF When in a conversation with [U]another women[/U][/B],[/QUOTE] umm, yea..[B]WOW[/B] My brain doesn't know how to grammatically explode. 'another' implies it's one, but 'women' implies multiple...Also the 'ONLY IF When' part hurts a bit. Just trying to read it as it might be meant to mean, is that line referring to a woman speaking to another woman?

More like roflburgers rules to being a stereotypical idiot.

[QUOTE=IceFire;19784882]umm, yea..[B]WOW[/B] My brain doesn't know how to grammatically explode. 'another' implies it's one, but 'women' implies multiple...Also the 'ONLY IF When' part hurts a bit. Just trying to read it as it might be meant to mean, is that line referring to a woman speaking to another woman?[/QUOTE] Fixed... Thanks [QUOTE=markg06;19784983]More like roflburgers rules to being a stereotypical idiot.[/QUOTE] :froggonk:

Thank you ROFLBURGER! Thanks to your extremely well written guide I am now fucking bitches 3 times a day. Sometimes I don't have enough time to fuck bitches. This guide is a must for men seeking to fuck bitches.

You obviously have never spoken to a girl before.

No thanks, I'll just go back to being myself. If I can't find someone who likes me for who I am then fuck them, I won't pretend to be someone I'm not.

Rename the thread "How to become a douchebag, quick!"

The woman would soon grow uninterested if all you said was one word.