[QUOTE=Craptasket;25145026]"Is there something wrong with me being a nudist?"[/QUOTE]
but the scary thought is, what if this has them coming back for more?
A priceless solution is to get fake blood, cover it on yourself and on your friend and make it look like you've just committed a murder.
You know, axe stuck in his chest, blood puddle on the floor, the works.
If they call the cops just wait for the cops to come after cleaning everything up and tell them that JW's are going insane because of their religion.
[QUOTE=Level7;25143273]I love you. Rated informative.[/QUOTE]
.
1. Turn off lights.
2. Close curtains.
3. Turn off TV.
4. Pretend you're not home.
:siren: [highlight]Crisis Averted[/highlight] :siren:
better idea,
1 turn on lights
2 open curtains and look at them in the eyes while screaming
3 throw tv through the window
4 take off all your clothes
they will not come to your house again after that
Answer the door naked with a mixture of yogurt and water covering your body. Then run out and ask for a hug.
Attempt to convert them to satanism.
1 point for the attempt
5 points if you get them to leave
50 points and a 2x multiplier for future events if you succeed
There is a Jehovahs Witness church right on the other side of my block. They don't seem to bother us that much.
[QUOTE=SpasticPinoy;25145019]Anyone have that video of a dude with a fro and his friend throw water balloons at those two Jehova's Witness guys when they wake them up on a Saturday morning?[/QUOTE]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-oNx3-Qpno&[/media]
[URL="http://youtube.com/watch?v=q-oNx3-Qpno"][/URL]
Leave milk and cookies at the doorstep, with note saying thanks for your hard work but you're not interested
[QUOTE=john_frohman;25143376]Or just tell them you're not interested?[/QUOTE]
Boring much?
Religion is merely what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
"Yeah i'll take 3 boxes of the mint cookies....wait...Your not girl scouts." *close door*
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;25143414]That will keep everybody out... I still want my girl scout cookies[/QUOTE]
Answer the door nude to girl scouts?
Two friends and I were playing a game of Risk about a month ago when a pair of Jehova's Witnesses came to the door. Funny part was, one of my friends was playing some bizarre death metal music on his iPhone when he answered the door.
That's how you get rid of them. Have a black man listening to death metal answer the door while an Irish guy yells at a gay guy. If they don't run away immediately, invite them in. And I am completely serious. If they actually stick around through that, either they aren't Jehova's Witnesses, or they are dedicated and really deserve at least a minute of your time.
Alternate method: invite them inside. Once they are in your living room, claim to be possessed by demons. Beg them for help. Watch them excuse themselves as politely and quickly as possible.
Nice guide. Also nice "short guide" comments.
A few more suggestions:
Answer the door while talking (or "talking") on the phone.
Answer the door while not wearing pants and having a rock hard boner.
Have a girl (or guy, I don't judge) friend peek around the corner or come up behind you while answering and ask if they're gonna come back in bed with you. (Works best during the morning)
Answer the door with a (preferably) bloody knife. Tell them you were expecting them.
And a crafty solution to fuck with them: Have a friend sneak out your back door with water balloons. Have them scare the Witnesses while you're talking to them. Throw water balloons to get them riled up. If you're answering, keep insisting you live alone. If they head towards the back yard or wherever your friend is hiding, try to have them get back inside without being seen. Eventually, they'll give up. At that point, if you answered the door, throw water balloons at them.
Guaranteed to fuck with them.
...or you can invite them into your home and pretend to perform a pagan magic ritual at them...
works every time, for greater effect buy a mounted deer head and turn your coffe table into this :
[IMG]http://www.wiccanaltar.com/images/WiccanAltar2.JPG[/IMG]
for greatest results, ask if they wish to perform the sacrifice of the day.
If you're hanging out with friends that are guys, have one of them take off their shirt, and peek around the corner only with their torso so it looks like they're naked, and have them say in a really fruity voice - "Baby, are you coming back to bed?"
Guaranteed to fuck with them
i'm not atheist, but these fuckers are just over the top, pushing their shit on you all the time, though we don't get much where i live.
remember - the more you fuck with them, the more likely they'll go "fuck this shit" and abandon witnessing jehova.
Why waste your time? open door, JWs? close door
[editline]07:36AM[/editline]
And if they try to give you any pamphlets (or put it through your letter box) just fucking open the door back up and thROW IT OUT
[QUOTE=pyrofiliac;25143331]how to make them go away:
get a bitch
fuck that bitch
do it in front of the jehovas witnesses[/QUOTE]
Finish while staring into the JW's soul
My dad once answered the door to some of them. One of them put his foot in the door. My dad just kicked the door and pushed it harder.
[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;25147128]My dad once answered the door to some of them. One of them put his foot in the door. My dad just kicked the door and pushed it harder.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like a great time and place to use a fire iron.
How can you be a witness to something you weren't even there for
Have a small child open the door, take one look at them, open his mouth horror, and yell "Dad! It's the brainwashers again!"
Never had a JW come to my door, guess there aren't enough crazy people where I live.
Friend of mine once got harassed by some religious types (JW or not, I don't know). A friend of his got one of those creepy goth looking guys with a scary voice to borrow a goat from the local petting zoo. He walked past carrying it with someone else and asked if it was okay for the ritual tonight. He told them it was fine and to prepare the knife for tonight. Scared the guys shitless.
