FFFAC: How to deal with Jehova's Witnesses - General

There was this idea my dad had, You say something along the lines of "I'm certainly interested, but can I ask your help with something first? My damn frog won't stay on my crucifix, and I can't figure out how to pronounce some of these bible verses backwards." Chances are they won't take too kindly to this.

Open the door, butthead one of them, and throw a tv out of the window.

[QUOTE=C0linSSX;25168597]There was this idea my dad had, You say something along the lines of "I'm certainly interested, but can I ask your help with something first? My damn frog won't stay on my crucifix, and I can't figure out how to pronounce some of these bible verses backwards." Chances are they won't take too kindly to this.[/QUOTE] If they have half a brain they won't care.

I got a 'church' at the end of my house, never had any try to pester us hell, when its one of their holidays they use the nearby football (soccer) ground for it, have their own radio station and swarm the park

This reminds me of a JW I had a few weeks ago, went something like this: JW: Hello, when people are down or feel vulnerable, they can decide to search for answers from Agony Aunt's, Magazines, or sometimes even the Bible, where would YOU go for answers? Me: Google JW: Erm... *Slam door* Done.

I stare at them through my window without blinking, it works a charm/

[quote]why does it need witnesses[/quote] As to this... well, it doesn't need witnesses and doesn't even know it has them. But it would make it happy, because it would make it even more of a [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SboyoievYU[/media]

I just tell them I'm not interested in their cult.

Always wanted to go to their church and say "Hello, I come from the real world." :downs:

I usually ask them if they wanted to join the church of Pastafarianism

[QUOTE=Tabfilms;25164381]My friend is a JW. and she hasn't tried to convert me. But i think she said she doesn't want to be a JW. Should i trust her? :ohdear:[/QUOTE] I always have fantasized of tempting a JW or mormon girl into a life of sin... it'd be SO awesome :devil:

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;25178594]I always have fantasized of tempting a JW or mormon girl into a life of sin... it'd be SO awesome :devil:[/QUOTE] If they are so easily tempted then they probably weren't a proper one any way.

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;25178594]I always have fantasized of tempting a JW or mormon girl into a life of sin... it'd be SO awesome :devil:[/QUOTE] :D I also like the idea of opening the door with bloody hands and some kind of hooded robe/tunic, with unkempt facial hair and bloodshot eyes.

[QUOTE=imasillypiggys;25143498]put a lot of salt in your mouth and ketchup all over you then when you answer the door fall down and spit out the salt while screaming at the top of your lungs. it should work[/QUOTE] Do this while your nude. My late granfather used to do something really fun. One day they stopped by while he was painting the wall. He answered them and started a conversation. He let them keep talking and even offered them a couple of chairs to sit while he painted the wall. When they were done talking, they tried to "take him in". He said it was fine, but for that he would hand them a couple of brushes to help him paint the wall. They said "they didn't want to keep him from doing his chores" and left right away. :smug: If it were for my granma, she would probably tell them to fuck off and get a job though...

Not as bad as Mormons coming to my door.

Answer the door in the middle of a fake phone call. "No Jim, we need 5 litres of goat blood and a STONE altar. You ordered 4 litres and this altar is fucking plywood. Sorry about that, how can I help you guys?"

I've only had to deal with JWs once, and that was just before the last UK General Election. Conversation went something like this: 'Hello.' "Hello." 'Do you know who we are?' "No." 'Well don't worry, we're not from Labour or Conservative' "Oh?" 'We're Jehova's Witnesses.' The conversation was very short after that.

[QUOTE=ElectricSquid;25181378]:D[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=carcarcargo;25179586]If they are so easily tempted then they probably weren't a proper one any way.[/QUOTE] I don't care, as long as she's a die-hard JW or mormon girl and I have to work at it to get into her pants... But of course, it's just an idea I have floating around

Answer door naked, cock swinging freely between legs, and a rifle/shotgun resting on your shoulder. Bonus points if you scratch your balls (or ass) then offer your finger for the JW to sniff :v: (that's assuming he's still there)

[QUOTE=raptorkid;25182368]I've only had to deal with JWs once, and that was just before the last UK General Election. Conversation went something like this: 'Hello.' "Hello." 'Do you know who we are?' "No." 'Well don't worry, we're not from Labour or Conservative' "Oh?" 'We're Jehova's Witnesses.' The conversation was very short after that.[/QUOTE] Go on.

I worked with a JW, didnt even know that for a long time. He did mention that he has to take a day to go around and talk to people. It is mandatory. But other than that, he didnt bother people, except on his designated day lol. And I just open the door, and let the Shepherd bark at them and she throws herself at the door, they usually leave.... lol

The thing about JWs is that they will always come back despite how kindly you tell them you are not interested. The only way to get rid of them is honestly taking things a step forward. Be it making yourself out to appear like an unlikely target or what not. We had a big problem with them a while back, they would come at least once a month despite how many times I either told them no or sometimes outright ignored them when they were at the door. Even telling them I could not open the door due to my dog, which was barking and going nuts in the door right infront of them, they still would try to stick around. I work second shift and I sleep in fairly early, so having a knock on my door at 9 in the morning really gets to me. It better be something damned important, well, six months ago after working overtime from my shift due to a lot of crap going on - I was fast asleep when the knocking came. Honestly, I ignored it at first. I wanted to sleep. But it kept going, the dog was going nuts, and I finally got sick of it and woke up to see what was going on. Sure enough there they are, my favorite JWs. I instantly raged and grabbed my digital camera. First thing I did was barge out the door and began taking pictures of them and their vehicle, as well as their license plate. When they asked me what I was doing, I asked them what church they were from. They decided to be a smartass and kept telling me the JW church. I go ok, I understand that, but what once specifically? "The Jehova's Witness church." Okay, how about an address, what if I wanted to send your church a letter, who would I send it to? "The Jehova's Witness church." There are more than one around here...so they were being pricks. Finally I hold up my camera and I tell them. "Let's make this clear once and for all. I have your pictures, I have your license plate, I am telling you right now that I do not want to see you or any of your people on my property again, if I do I am calling the Sheriff's Office and I will pursue charges for criminal trespass. You guys have about 30 seconds to get out of here before I go inside and call them up right now." They piled into their car and were gone. They have not been back sense. - I did not call the SO, of course. Had no reason to, the threat of it was enough. :D However, I am sure they will eventually come back around - when that happens, I still have the evidence and footage of me telling them to stay off property. Which will be used against them when I do pursue those charges. :)

My dad once answered the door for Jehovahs Witnesses once. He was wearing a T-Shirt that said "Beer is my savior" at the time.

[QUOTE=NuclearAnnhilation;25151726]I lime to put on my most satanic black or thrash metal shirt when I answer. It's always fun to see them stare at the pentagram and inverted cross on your chest.[/QUOTE] Funny enough, the inverted cross is a more holy symbol than the normal one, since it shows humility. [editline]10:44PM[/editline] [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross_of_St._Peter[/url]

[QUOTE=Zezibesh;25229010]Funny enough, the inverted cross is a more holy symbol than the normal one, since it shows humility.[/QUOTE] And the pentagram is technically pagan, but the average person doesn't see it like that anymore.

I've always invited them in, offered them a beer (which they refuse), and then asked to have a religious debate with them. :v:

It can also represent the five wounds of Jesus. Then again, to most people a pentagram is a five pointed star encased in a circle. I hate it when symbols get corrupted like that, kinda like the swastika. A powerful symbol, but due to the Nazis you won't be able to use it anywhere for a couple hundred years without getting labeled.

Fortunately for me, these guys never come around to our neighborhood.

[QUOTE=Mac2468;25143538]Or you could calmly say "I'm not interested." Then shut the door.[/QUOTE] This is not allowed.

[QUOTE=POWA KILLERDeux;25223662]Go on.[/QUOTE]Not much to tell, really. I just let them say their thing, took the leaflet, and sent them on their way.