i wish i could bring a bit of mexxy with me to mexico since it is ***technically*** legal both here and there but fuck that hassle
[editline]9th October 2014[/editline]
not going to risk it
[editline]9th October 2014[/editline]
the day that mxe gets scheduled is the day that i raise my glass up to the sky and pour one out
[QUOTE=Elecbullet;46197287]I was incapable of functioning. I fried my brain with drugs. I'm comfortable with admitting that I took lunatic amounts of DXM and NBOMe in the past and that's fucked me.
It's not just about homework. I have literally become twice as good at guitar in, like, a day.[/QUOTE]
Hey man do whatever. You'll figure it out.
also I'm so sober right now. These cigs just aren't doing the trick.
Okay so on the note of ADD/ADHD
sorry for the late response yo, but I have my doubts/theories about it myself and i'd like to quickly explore this disorder from my point of view/perspective on things
Here's the thing about it;
you may or may not have it, everyone has some 'symptoms' of it,
a lot of it can be dealt with/overcome in yourself as part of growing up and maturing,
for instance; kids that are predominately hyperactive tend to lose the hyperactivity component and it becomes very internalized as they age;
the diagnosis requires that you have had these symptoms for a prevalent amount of time and that it has interfered with your life in not just one area, but multiple things;
for example, Even the things I WANTED and loved to be focusing on, i was very easily distracted by, but i'd get into 'hyperfocus' on something I didn't even /really/ want to be doing because it provided me with a constant stream of stimulation
the thing about ADD/ADHD is, it's a developmental disorder,
it's not a learning disability, it's not an emotional disability, it's not an intellectual dissability
it can however, affect these things, and quite severely at that;
in itself, it's believed to be (and there's a fair bit of science to back this up, brain scans and years of research) a disorder primarily in the control centers/executive function parts of the brain
for whatever reason, it may or may not be genetic, the disorder primarily lies in the aspect of 'self control'
Things like focus, motivation, self guidance (think inner voice), self regulation (responses to emotions and thoughts)
but these are all things that everyone needs to work on through nurturing and understanding;
in Buddhist philosophy, these aspects are largely a part of the 'inner wisdom' that is trained by devoting to a master, until the individual 'becomes' the master that is within
make of this what you will, personally, I have a very strong feeling upbringing could actually play a HUGE deal in regard to whether or not a person will develop strong symptoms that cause difficulty in regards to their life it self,
this does not mean in any case that it is not real, but I question the validity of how we, as a society, approach it. Medication can help you get back into 'functional' states, the sort of function you'd prefer
but I feel as though, a large part of the issue could simply be, especially in regard to all the emergent technology, that the person with ADD/ADHD simply has not habituated long term, focused reward systems in terms of neurochemistry. Whether or not this can be changed or approached in a different way, at this point in time, is completely questionable
medication helps, because it provides internal stimulation that does not rely on a constant feedback of external stimulation
but some people never take advantage of this and form new habits; i've seen a lot of older folk that say 'Ditch the big pharmacy bullshit, it's just life'
and part of me feels that may be true, however. The way in which we try to tackle it from a purely CBT perspective never seems to work for those that are of disorderly nature, simply because, they still do not have those habits, they have extreme difficulty stimulating themselves internally towards longer term goals, focuses, and priorities, and it can have an impact on intellect/emotion/education/work/commitment etc.
so, in that sense, medication allows the disorderly to regain some order,
and there's research that shows that in the long term, medication can actually make beneficial changes to brain structure in those regards;
it is not something that can be 'cured', however. I feel it is simply something that is, in itself, very much a part of life and mind itself, but the difference between someone who is diagnosed and requires medication is simply how disorderly the development of those regions are
and once again, this could simply be because of upbringing, it could be genetic (science suggests it may very well be, and that's understandable)
it could just be that we're all dopamine fix addicts and some people never break the cycles enough to begin with (I for example was always glued to the computer from a very, very young age, and feel that may have been part of what caused it)
in that, we're provided so much external stimulation, and most parents aren't nurturing of the internal stimulation but attempt to be controlling through negative reinforcement, without a good balance of positive reinforcement to back
I think with neuroplasticity and medication, ADD/ADHD symptoms can very well be nullified as something that is of great interference,
but it takes commitment to change, a lot of work on lifestyle, and a LOT of work on 'inner game' in terms of your own thought systems, beliefs, habits, understanding, self confidence, self guidance; self approval. This is essentially, the part that needs the most work for most individuals with ADHD
nurturing and developing a good inner sense of self approval which is in itself, internal stimulation, it takes understanding and accepting that not everything is going to make you feel good while you're doing it, and a lot of it is going to be hard work,
but to be able to decide and put yourself too it anyway, learning to tune out distractions, etc
it can be done, with enough work, and medication can really aid the process.
Why do I believe this to be the case?:
even when I take a day or two off medication now, and this is after 2 months on medication, I am FAR better than when I was unmedicated in the past;
I can stay focused, (not without some effort),
I know the bad habits that serve to work against me
I'm less impulsive, i'm still distractable, but I can see my impulses for what they are and, with some effort, not simply react to them by allowing them but actually make a calculated decision about whether or not it's a good idea;
I don't let me get down on myself and start feeling bad about something I didn't do so much anymore, that part i'm still working on, but now I can see it when it arises as opposed to before
and in general, can maintain something of a positive flow even if things feel like crap or fuzzy;
it's a lot easier to be off medication now than it was all that time ago, funnily enough, but I feel a huge deal of it has simply been because of that 'inner game' aspect
I do, I reflect, I internalize, I talk it out, and I gain understanding on what it is that's actually going on in side me and what causes me to behave in certain ways
and then, I utilize and adapt to the best of my ability to put into effect new habits of mind
i'd argue ADD/ADHD is a very real thing, in that sense
the part I question, is simply, the validity of the idea that it's some crippling disorder/illness that CANNOT be overcome, I feel a large part of the problem is simply, in itself, that.
because life isn't easy, no matter who you are whether you're disorderly or not, success and focus take dedication and understanding, but if we lack the positive reinforcement, especially internally, (which in itself, does feed off the external)
in order to habituate our brains to this kind of thing,
well it's going to go out of order during the development phases
the concept that it's something that NEEDS to be medicated from an early age;
because kids get bored and would rather play video games than attend school,
when they don't even know the fruits of positive reinforcement and have not yet tasted real success even in something they feel they WANT to be doing
whether it's because the school system doesn't support it, crappy parents, or genetics from parents who went through the same thing carrying over;
this is what really bothers me
I hope you see what i'm getting at, once again, I feel medication is, in itself, VERY beneficial for individuals with ADD/ADHD, but it requires WORK to actually get better, in EITHER regard
and if it's to the point of actual /disorder/, no amount of CBT, in it self, will be enough to make those changes for the individual, this is why we medicate. But it makes me wonder, if a simple life coach that knows what they're actually doing, could be a more effective option, as opposed to therapy and making the individual feel even more shit about their symptoms in that "It can't be cured but these are the things you should try to cope with it"
my immediate reaction to that, back in the day? Why bother. Honestly, why? i'd rather feel good about myself by being stimulated and sticking with what I know. Funny, no?
yet if someone was there guiding me every step of the way, without trying to just throw ideas at me, but encouraging me to work it out for myself through adequate reinforcement,
helping me work out for myself how those things could be beneficial, and help me to put it into practice
I argue things would likely be VERY different
that's pretty much what stimulant medication has become for me, in that sense; self therapy. Even with stimulants
nothing gets done, unless I actually go and do it
and my focus isn't significantly 'better' than it was in my disorderly state, it's essentially the same thing, only now I'm learning to allow it when immediate gratification and external stimulation is not feeding back into the loop directly,
through little mental games and rehabituation, through gaining understanding of the fruits of success and dedication
and cutting out the major distractive elements as I go,
so I don't get too sucked into those in form of procrastination instead.
I literally do not even play video games anymore, i've stopped seeking approval from external sources (constant socialization where I just speak my mind and seek answers from other people, instead answering my own questions, following my instincts and learning things for myself and doing what I want because I want to do it, not because I need the attention of someone else to justify it)
right now, my biggest source of distraction is, quite simply, reddit... I post on here from time to time because I enjoy this place but the benefit of here is it's not a constant stream of content,
I still have facebook up incase I want some quick fixes along the way or need someone to have a quick chat with when i'm particularly stressed, but most people are busy/working/studying throughout the day anyway, so i've had to learn to rely on myself more
but outright fuck reddit, biggest waste of time in my life right now
Sorry for the wall of text, but this has been a fair bit on my mind as of late so I like to take the opportunity to explore these thoughts in my favourite means of writing
so, my theory on the biggest cause of ADD/ADHD therefor,
upbringing(and or genetics by proxy of upbringing)
entertainment/technology/content streams
and quite honestly, unhealthy fucking diets, sugary drinks, kids drinking caffeine and energy drinks from a young age, becoming reliant on external sources of stimulation because the brain learns that it's rewarding
and, as such, to some degree or another, in context of these kind of factors, resulting in a lot of disorderly people in terms of 'executive functioning', because inner stimulation has not been nurtured and developed
developmental disorder, the key words lol, so much factors into development that without the right balance along the way for a kid, practically anyone could end up with ADHD as an adult even if they, otherwise, do not have it in their genetics to begin with
I don't believe at all that it's something that cannot be overcome, more just nurturing the development of self guidance/approval and cutting out the bullshit, one step at a time, the older you are the harder this will be
and if that means taking on stimulant medication to help you get through it and cope with life along the way, so be it
but I really do not believe young children should be put on meds just because they're struggling to embrace life under such conditions,
there is most definitely another way to go about this, but I feel society has either not worked it out yet, or are entirely ignoring the possibility of it
yeah, that was a rant and a half
Hey thanks for posting that. Gives me a lot of insight into my own habits. You seem to have such an understanding of your own internal processes. Reminds me to quit coasting off whatever takes my attention and live meaningfully. Which I'm finding really difficult right now at school.
Since we're still on the topic of ADHD. I went to my GP to talk to him about ADHD. What he pretty much said was "Unless you think it's affecting your life, drop the subject. You don't want the stigma of a mental health issue attached to you for the rest of your life." Which he then followed it up by saying "The worst thing you could do is go to a psychiatrist, because that necessitates opening a public health record, best to go to a private psych and talk about your issues if you truly believe they're affecting you." Lastly, he said "You've got 4 weeks of school left, put it out of your mind and revisit the issue if you start to struggle in college".
I'm kinda undecided on this advice. I think it's generally good though.
[editline]10th October 2014[/editline]
Haha what the fuck i've got four weeks of highschool left.
[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;46197367]i wish i could bring a bit of mexxy with me to mexico since it is ***technically*** legal both here and there but fuck that hassle
[editline]9th October 2014[/editline]
not going to risk it
[editline]9th October 2014[/editline]
the day that mxe gets scheduled is the day that i raise my glass up to the sky and pour one out[/QUOTE]
It's banned here in the UK, do a line for us Brits.
[QUOTE=mrmr;46197689]It's banned here in the UK, do a line for us Brits.[/QUOTE]
i'll do a double line when i get back but its too late to reup now if i want to fall asleep anytime soon
[QUOTE=The Aussie;46197673]Since we're still on the topic of ADHD. I went to my GP to talk to him about ADHD. What he pretty much said was "Unless you think it's affecting your life, drop the subject. You don't want the stigma of a mental health issue attached to you for the rest of your life." Which he then followed it up by saying "The worst thing you could do is go to a psychiatrist, because that necessitates opening a public health record, best to go to a private psych and talk about your issues if you truly believe they're affecting you." Lastly, he said "You've got 4 weeks of school left, put it out of your mind and revisit the issue if you start to struggle in college".
I'm kinda undecided on this advice. I think it's generally good though.
[editline]10th October 2014[/editline]
Haha what the fuck i've got four weeks of highschool left.[/QUOTE]
make those four weeks count man, i regret not having done so myself (but I had the issues with the ex going on at the time + a bunch of other shit happening that made it extremely difficult for me to even put myself to much of anything),
and I agree with your GP for what it's worth, get yourself as in order as you can and see how you go with things like college/work but don't label yourself with a disorder until you know for sure it's something that is actually affecting your life,
and if you decide to follow through on it, go down the path of a private psych because it will make life easier on the long run for the reasons he said
I vaped half a stem of that dank shit I picked up last week, sailing to the moon
Urgh. Good morning fellas. Slow day behind the bar while I'm the only one working there, equals me getting shitfaced.
and yeah, I favored the good looking girls, cuz I'm a right bastard :v:
gonna have a J with a buddy and work again 2nite! Have a swell imidiate future!
[QUOTE=jomt1234;46197905][video=youtube;XsZKrctSDaw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsZKrctSDaw[/video][/QUOTE]
Jurassic 5, hell ya. Rocking it across the pond I see.
[editline]10th October 2014[/editline]
in other news my dreams have been extraordinarily weird lately, and I've been sober for nearly 3 weeks. Like literally 10 minutes ago I was in my dream bed watching a commercial debunking cookie myths, like what the fuck. It was 5:10AM too and I had to be up in 2 hours, then I woke up and realized it was 4AM and I had slept for 12 hours and I dont got shit to do today anyway :v:
Wooo just got my order of 3-fluorophenmetrazine, analogue of phenmetrazine (really popular stimulant in the 50's-70's, according to the old-timers even better than amphetamine, which is why it got banned everywhere so quickly).
Seems there are absolutely no reports of it online, so this is really unexplored territory. Might just be the bomb, the "new mephedrone" etc, might be shit, or it might kill me :v: Will report back on effects, and if I suddenly go missing, you all know why!
Does it matter if buds are squashed/compressed?
[url=http://static.squarespace.com/static/526c410fe4b039ceb7d8d4a1/t/5436c3b7e4b0c19a8c287e36/1412875191240/Pink%20Floyd%20-%20Louder%20Than%20Words.mp3/original/Pink+Floyd+-+Louder+Than+Words.mp3]There's no better way to Wake 'N Bake than with the first new Pink Floyd song in 20 years.[/url]
[QUOTE=FreddiRox!;46198982]Does it matter if buds are squashed/compressed?[/QUOTE]
Not really, you gotta cut it up anyways for the best intake.
Im just too baked for this genre of music I just found
Is it good or bad? I dont even know in this state
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FH-q0I1fJY[/media]
Protesting all week like this
[t]http://i.imgur.com/q6cBtb9.png[/t]
howdy do, folks. nice insights on ADD/ADHD, mate.
[QUOTE=thejjokerr;46191185]Someone explain this to me, its freaking me out[/QUOTE]
The dumpster is hiding the trunk of the tree, the tree grew in a really strange way.
[QUOTE=dr.bean;46196964]Yeah, I know that I am and couldn't really care less at the moment. I really appreciate your input though, I understand the risks that come with this devil and am taking them. If I do become fully dependent then that's on me and something I will have to deal with.[/QUOTE]
My empathy is through the roof right now, I know you don't care, and that's exactly why it happens... Dude you are literally me like 6-8 months ago. Please, I emplore you, if you care about your family, the good friends you have, your own happiness, quit while you're still able to just stop doing them without getting ill and unable to function at the lowest of levels. You'll start to steal soon too by the way, if not money, then the pills themselves, wherever you can get them, your brain won't care, and in turn your conscious mind will rationalize that theft, even if it's from an elderly woman who may actually need it for pain. But if you're as stubborn as me, you won't listen, and you'll have to learn the hard way, looking back at all those warnings you've heard about on the net. "junkies!" I always thought to myself, irresponsible and ignorant, never I... Until one day. only it's not a day, it's a gradual over the course of a few months, but it'll getcha, it's already got a hold for certain...
Just a note while being informed on opiate use is great and you have a better go at it, it means nothing once you get the cravings.
[QUOTE=bacardimaster;46199747]Im just too baked for this genre of music I just found
Is it good or bad? I dont even know in this state
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FH-q0I1fJY[/media][/QUOTE]
Oh, Grimes. I love that group, it has such an oniric feel to it.
I don't care much for her music, but Grimes as a person is cool. She seems like she'd be a lot of fun to hang out with for a day.
Took an e, preparing to gurn
[QUOTE=Consciousness;46197534]
yeah, that was a rant and a half[/QUOTE]
I read the whooooole thing. Good points man.
had half a bowl and now i'm sitting in my room listening to tunes. i'm considering getting a cup of coffe and maybe playing some san andreas.
Pinging oot ma tits oh my fuck this ecto is the shit omg
[QUOTE=Nekro;46200107]Took an e, preparing to gurn[/QUOTE]
i just thought about bombing some as well, but i dunno~~
Me and 2 other guys on ectos no joke this e is strong as fuck I'm fucking pinging sorry for the spam guys but I love you all
Wooo, got some money and i might pick up some quality hash tomorrow.
[sp]Something will fuck up, knowing my luck[/sp]
tab is going in for my first alone trip, third trip overall.
tooo the moon
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.