[QUOTE=Consciousness;46619938]Odd. Im able to eat fine now and have been feasting a bit but my stomach isnt particularly feeling any better, it almost feels numb to food if that makes sense? Was churning quite a bit and i did eat throughout the day (allbeit not a huge deal)
I sincerely hope i havent gotten a tape worm or something like that and its just odd sensations with a bit of overconcern on my own behalf[/QUOTE]
this is how i live my life after a night of too much xtc , it numbed down everything in the gut.
i no longer feel hunger as i used to do, and i never feel the nice full feeling of not being hungry.
went do see the doc a few times, but there is no real explanation to it, just that it started after an evening with too much mdma. but i was also using a lot of speed at the time, so that might be another catalyst of these problems
[QUOTE=/B/rother;46619992]my friends keep giving me drugs
[editline]2nd December 2014[/editline]
oh no what do i do[/QUOTE]
them
[QUOTE=scorpinat;46620055]this is how i live my life after a night of too much xtc , it numbed down everything in the gut.
i no longer feel hunger as i used to do, and i never feel the nice full feeling of not being hungry.
went do see the doc a few times, but there is no real explanation to it, just that it started after an evening with too much mdma. but i was also using a lot of speed at the time, so that might be another catalyst of these problems[/QUOTE]
could be related to the MDxx I dropped the other day, had some plentiful diarrhoea the following day and haven't been eating too well since but progressively improving, tonight's the first night i've noticed it really 'acting up' so to speak though, i'm hoping it's just because of the meds/coffee and lack of large filling meals. I've changed my eating pattern up a bit, been leaning a bit more towards smaller meals more regularly as opposed to having breakfast, pushing through the day, then binging in the evening (my old habit while medicated) finding that in doing so i'm more productive and functional with meds but might just be i'm not having large enough meals when I do have them. Even my 'feasting' was two small broken up meals
on that note though I did have peppermint tea to calm my stomach down a bit, so the apparent numbness could be a result of that. Either way, i'm gonna watch adventure time and pass out in preperation for tomorrow. Got a relatively big day ahead and it'll be the first time I can put my meds to use outside the context of my own house for the first time in a while, i'm a little anxious about it though because one of the things is my mate's band, they want some creative work done but my mate himself is really err... undecided on what we're supposed to do, basically they want a youtube video up and has asked me to do the work for them to put it together and all that, he asks me to come get photos/video content of the band but then when I try and direct them into doing a proper music video he's all like 'nah I don't want to do a proper one yet just use what we've already got (basically all of which is like happy snaps that I had no part in)' so I get stuck doing lame shit like piecing together slideshows from relatively crap content after being told 'We want you to make us a band video, come take photos/videos of us so we can make it good'
like wat, seems like a waste, just do it right and it'll be 10x more effective and save me the trouble of digging through things trying to make old content that doesn't work, work
like, i'm almost embarassed to be doing creative work that's on that level when i'm told 'we need you to come do this for us cause you're good with creative work'
fuck, if you want a slideshow from old content, just drag and drop the shit yourself into a wizard, don't waste my time by flip flopping on what you actually want
they got me bringing up greenscreens and offering me cameras to work with and shit, but when the time comes to actually getting it done it's 'fuck it just dig through old content and make a slideshow' like every time so far, i've tried to organize them to do stuff but they're less manageable than my adhd i swear, don't follow instructions even when it comes to shooting a single photo and then just end up giving up on the prospect of doing something decent because of it
sorry for the rant, bands are just fucking annoying to work with
[QUOTE=Consciousness;46620001]Meds are ritalin, similar to amphetamines but not quite the same, still stimulants[/QUOTE]
When I was on Vyvanse, I was not eating or sleeping. I too substituted food for coffee. I think it eats at your stomach after a while.
Mxe afterglow feels very funny after a night of using it, those cigs headrushes, walking and talking :v:
my coworker is selling me baby's first dimebag tomorrow/the next day
pretty excited tbh
anyone know of any reputable online shops (uk based or ship to uk) where i can grab lucky strikes?
they are a bitch to find
Guys, I did bad, I bought some dilaudid today after 5 days no opiates again. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do, I still haven't been to work sober yet after I supposedly got "clean". I don't necessarily mean opiates, but either way I can't and don't want to keep this up. But I just can't find the time or control to stop this shit, and I can't get help, it'd fuck up more things than fix I'm convinced.
Don't mean to be such a drag, it's just you're some of the few I can actually talk to in full detail and may understand what I'm talking about.
fucking nailing my assignments up to multiple days before due atm.. feels like im getting used to this homework-universe, and its absolutely wonderful <3
handed in a spanish paper, did all my daily homework and readings for the next three days today - and just to top it off, ima roll one and blaze up now :v:
[editline]2nd December 2014[/editline]
oh and btw, this day marks the 20 day countdown until im on a plane with hash-infused coffee in my stomach, heading towards Myanmar!
I'm having a really bad time with being depressed. I couldn't pull myself out of bed today and I started crying on my way to work.
[QUOTE=Crumpet;46621526]anyone know of any reputable online shops (uk based or ship to uk) where i can grab lucky strikes?
they are a bitch to find[/QUOTE]
Only place I've ever seen them is a shell garage near london.
On a shittier note I really don't want to live at home anymore. Parents just keep shouting at me saying I'm depressed and not doing anything about it. I've been on two kinds of meds, I don't want to feel suicidal anymore, so I stopped taking them, simple as, now they're talking about getting me sectioned and shit they can't even do because I've done nothing that would warrant me being sectioned.
College project due tomorrow and my hands are shaking so it's hard to type and focus. Really angry.
Continuing the trend of appetite problems, I woke up feeling naseous again
[QUOTE=mrmr;46619160]It's only Tuesday, plenty of opportunity to get smashed yet.[/QUOTE]
Holy shit it's [b][i]tuesday??!?[/i][/b]
I sure hope so.
Tuesday nights are great, I have nothing planned for wednesdays B)
my trichocereus bridgesii seeds came in today! They're pretty small, I hope most germinate. I'll start them when winter ends. very excite
Long time no see. I just build a new gaming rig and -[edited] nevermind found it.
[QUOTE=Zeemlapje;46618869][IMG]http://richelevanwaveren.nl/temp-images/420-01.png[/IMG][/QUOTE]
i want a pair of shorts with a print like this on them
So I have this pretty nice 2 gram nug of weed, probably high mids. Now, I do not have ANY tolerance what so ever to weed, as the last time I smoked was probably a 1 1/2 months ago, and I probably smoke once every 2 months, and I am a newbie smoker.
I am thinking of getting out a zong and smoking the entire nug.
Is this a good idea, or would I green out? IDK yet.
The drain on my balcony is uphill from everything else
Why the fuck would they do this now it's a giant puddle
[QUOTE=Cinnamonbun;46625005]So I have this pretty nice 2 gram nug of weed, probably high mids. Now, I do not have ANY tolerance what so ever to weed, as the last time I smoked was probably a 1 1/2 months ago, and I probably smoke once every 2 months, and I am a newbie smoker.
I am thinking of getting out a zong and smoking the entire nug.
Is this a good idea, or would I green out? IDK yet.[/QUOTE]
waste of weed. smoke like .3 and see how you feel
"My [i]dog's[/i] piss is dirtier than yours."
RIP Duke, you magnificent faceeater.
[QUOTE=zach1193;46621787]Guys, I did bad, I bought some dilaudid today after 5 days no opiates again. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do, I still haven't been to work sober yet after I supposedly got "clean". I don't necessarily mean opiates, but either way I can't and don't want to keep this up. But I just can't find the time or control to stop this shit, and I can't get help, it'd fuck up more things than fix I'm convinced.
Don't mean to be such a drag, it's just you're some of the few I can actually talk to in full detail and may understand what I'm talking about.[/QUOTE]
Man i was getting appraisal from everyone in my real life cause id 'gotten clean' after the meth thing
Meanwhile we're all drinking together and im now on stimulants daily. Made me realize when it comes to social expectations, Its horse shit, dont beat yourself up about it man just do your best to do whats right for you. Its hard to find the time to do a total sober cleanup kinda thing but it is worth how much better youll feel about yourself even if its only a day or two to start. One step at a time tho, you cant say youre not making progress when you look back at how things were vs how they are
[editline]3rd December 2014[/editline]
Mates band just pulled out for today
Yessssss
That means i can put my afternoon dose towards tackling my room a bit and working on my hobbies
[editline]3rd December 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=CoilingTesla;46625231]"My [i]dog's[/i] piss is dirtier than yours."
RIP Duke, you magnificent faceeater.[/QUOTE]
I am sorry for your loss
[QUOTE=zach1193;46621787]Guys, I did bad, I bought some dilaudid today after 5 days no opiates again. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do, I still haven't been to work sober yet after I supposedly got "clean". I don't necessarily mean opiates, but either way I can't and don't want to keep this up. But I just can't find the time or control to stop this shit, and I can't get help, it'd fuck up more things than fix I'm convinced.
Don't mean to be such a drag, it's just you're some of the few I can actually talk to in full detail and may understand what I'm talking about.[/QUOTE]
Hey man its okay, relapse is all part of the process of being clean. There's no reason to beat yourself up over it, I know your strong bro you can get through this. I know you can't help yourself sometimes, but you gotta at least try and not indulge when you think of it or think of something else, and I mean REALLY try (not saying you aren't). You've been doing great, keep it up.
Anyway..on another note I popped a 30mg vyvanse about 3 hours ago, not feeling much apart from a nice little buzz that lasts for a while but oh well it was only $3. Then plugged about .5mg of suboxone about 2 hours ago and now I'm about to smoke some new weed my dad got called I think Bubba's Cookies, and its REALLY good.
[editline]3rd December 2014[/editline]
And I'm not trying to preach or anything, just trying to help you out. Hope I don't sound like a hypocrite either, cause I do love my opis myself and rarely control myself when I get the chance to use em. Which isn't often thank fuck.
fuck, i just slept till 1 because I had a really cool dream.
Why do my dreams have to be so much more fun than my real life?
I think I forgot to take all of my various medications today, I've been pretty blazed for while now trying to train myself to move my eyebrows independently, I've already made a lot of progress figuring out the muscles tonight
paycheck soon fellow stalker
Bumped as tits.
I rearranged my room, and I kind of like it. I've made myself a sort of cubicle made of monitors, I'm right near the window, so I can keep nice and cool, along with my PC.
Also, been playing 7 Days To Die. It's pretty fun.
Turn on the radio, nah, fuck it. Turn it off.
Long time no chat. I keep saying im back to fp.. then im gone again.
Anyways i lent my bong to my friend.. He lent it to a mutual friend across the street.. And HE had some people (who i coincidentally know) playing soccer in his garage (why?).. Long story short no bong.. AAAND i had to go buy myself a new piece. Since my bowl isnt broken, i decided to get an 18mm J-Hook pipe. It essentially a glass sherlock pipe, with a detachable bowlpiece.
Also some fucker owes me a lot of money.. Best course of action? Id prefer not to get violent, but its an option.
Freezing my nips off
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