• The Addicts' Lounge VI. You Know It's Dank
    7,834 replies, posted
I am guessing by the sounds of my brother throwing up like a behemoth, that he doesn't want to go for a walk with me. So I'll go walk by myself. I guess this time, I won't be going out in hopes of a train hitting me. But if by chance... Oh well. I can't sleep, there's no booze to drink, and I need to move. So a walk I shall have. It's cold as fuck, but I love it.
time to get high~
[QUOTE=Furioso;46834444]happy new years, friends! I don't post here as often as I should (who even fucking remembers me? nobody that ain't banned, prolly) but you lot were on my mind just now while I was plastered, so, I guess that means something![/QUOTE] Hey man. Just know you're awesome. Don't let others fool you. Happy new years! Cheers!
[QUOTE=Joscpe;46834446]I am guessing by the sounds of my brother throwing up like a behemoth, that he doesn't want to go for a walk with me. So I'll go walk by myself. I guess this time, I won't be going out in hopes of a train hitting me. But if by chance... Oh well. I can't sleep, there's no booze to drink, and I need to move. So a walk I shall have. It's cold as fuck, but I love it.[/QUOTE] I'll be there, floating nearby, just a few key presses away! I'll think of you as I smoke this good-night bowl to myself [editline]1st January 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Joscpe;46834451]Hey man. Just know you're awesome. Don't let others fool you. Happy new years! Cheers![/QUOTE] thanks, bredda. It legitimately means more than you'd think it does [img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/ratings/heart.png[/img]
[QUOTE=Furioso;46834444]happy new years, friends! I don't post here as often as I should (who even fucking remembers me? nobody that ain't banned, prolly) but you lot were on my mind just now while I was plastered, so, I guess that means something![/QUOTE] I remember you dawg, hope you're alright mate. [editline]1st January 2015[/editline] Happy new year everyone, hope you're all gonna make the most of it!
It's now 17 hours since dropping 170ug and 13 hours since New Year. It's 2:18 pm. Was this some night. I'd say it was the most beautiful New Years Eve I've ever had albeit probably not the best. Maybe second best. After having been at town hall where most of the people in my town gather for the last hour I have mixed feelings. At that point most of the crowd seemed like a single organism cheering and singing songs and hugging and general happiness. But since most of the crowd consists of young adults and teenagers there was only alcohol. Still you could smell weed when the clock struck. Still. While people had fun, there were a lot of careless folks. I feel sad for them. They don't know their limits. So as per usual there were gopniks or otherwise tough guys who just threw bottles and tried to vandalize or light fireworks in the middle of the crowd. People who were so drunk they could barely stand and picked fights. And my best friend who is an abstainer, our sober wheelman and for that night - my shepherd - we had to transport some girl from his sports club who was absolutely wasted, back home. I only had met her at the town hall where she was happy and hugging everyone, few hours later she was barely standing and was in my friends car, didn't talk much, didn't want to go home in her shameful state (possibly underage, living with parents) so we drove slow, for her to not vomit and hopefully to sober up some. So mid-drive she wanted a stop, to throw up we figured. Yet when she opened the door (we were in pretty rural place at that time) she simply ran out to the fields. I was only just starting to come down and had to chase that bugger through the snow. When I caught up to her I didn't know what to do. Still tripping I was I asked something meaningful mid-run. Something along the lines of "Where do we get, running like this ?". I was next to her, running side-by-side. She slowed to a halt and broke down and stopped, fell down, melancholy struck and started to cry. I caught my breath. Gave her a moment. Picked her up. Slowly strolled back to the car, in silence. She sat in the car, still whimpering. So we slowly cruised by her directions to her home. I wanted to send her to the door. I didn't know if it was her home or not. For all we know she could have been in some random neighbourhood. At this moment I don't yet know if she made it back home. All in all, this whole experience was fucked up for me. I had never dealt with this kind of bullshit before. To be honest I have never dealt with much drunkard bullshit, for I have mostly been fucked up myself. Or I don't simply remember. At this moment, when I'm not completely sober ( T +18:xx) and sleep deprived it just feels fucked up. I may give up drinking. Probably for the best. Well after that whole ordeal we transported some other drunk people who thankfully were much merrier. And finally we crashed at my friends place, ate some damn good ice cream, watched funny videos and all was good again. Oh and this morning maybe some 4 hours ago I had to heap up some firewood with my grandparents. It was really refreshing to do some manual labor. Felt real good, albeit exhausted. I don't know if you appreciate this blog post, but I felt I needed to tell this to someone. Can't really tell this story to most of my friends for they don't know what I felt. There is one guy however with whom we jointly bought this acid. It was his first time to try psychedelics. I told him to seriously consider having the first trip on New Years eve. I was keeping him up to date while coming up and during the early peak, how I was doing. He wished me luck. Now when I met him at the town hall with his girlfriend he was really hyper, obviously had dropped, and was some hour and an half into it as he said. But at times he was really verging towards freaking out. Well he seemed to enjoy the fireworks and lights and everything visual, but I don't know if he really appreciated the mindfuck that comes with acid. Well we parted at some point, I tried to tell his girlfriend to keep a close eye on him and be there for him, but couldn't do that due to said friend always being there and I didn't want him to hear that. Might have scared him. He was probably not yet peaking. Well he probably made it back home, for 4 hours ago when I was stacking firewood he had sent me some questionable messages through facebook. Some random gibberish letters and numbers and finally asked me if I'm feeling cold. Don't know what to think of that. Hope he had a pleasant experience. And this concludes my somewhat sorrowful story. I myself mostly had fun and the town was beautiful. Fireworks were beautiful. People were merry. But you can't have positive without negative. Yin-Yang etc etc some bullshit. peace
Happy new year from japan dudes. I spent new years fucked up in shibuya with 2 million+ random foreigners and japanese people. Shit was fucking nuts. I was slamming whiskey on the streets. I went with another facepuncher, eric, my friends, and some random fucking swedish people. God damn crazy ass night that blanks out at 1am. I got back at like 4 am and woke up with a killer hangover at 10, and had to catch a train to fucking kamazawa.
Happy new year guys! I had a pretty mental night, I was meant to be spending the night at the house of the person who hosted the party, but their dad came back at 2am and was not happy with that, so me and some mates walked into town to get some maccies, we bumped into some people that I kinda vaguely knew, and dropped a tab with them. That was a pretty entertaining night, taking LSD for the first time and wondering around town for bout5 or 6 hours until I could finally get back into my own house.
Now we've reached the hour of spliff politics
[QUOTE=KillerTele;46828715]Lies and slander, I saw your snap![/QUOTE] it was pure luck though! - i got a lift from a friends father and on the way we shared stupid stories about drugs, and then later fireworks. when we arrived the father made me open the trunk and there where two big bags filled with various fireworks. after we had eye'd it for a few minutes, asking him how much he had spend and such, he simply told us to get it up into the apartment and then we could have it. 8/10 dad [editline]1st January 2015[/editline] i'm so broken today though, jesus christ
16:47 - Katyn: walked 6 miles at 4am last night 16:47 - Katyn: and it was awesome 16:48 - Katyn: my friend threw up and got thrown out of the bar 16:48 - Katyn: so we sat in the quadrangle for a joint 16:48 - The Genie: The quest for McDonalds? 16:48 - Katyn: he goes into the toilet, i fall asleep waiting for him 16:48 - Katyn: wake up, he is nowhere to be seen 16:49 - Katyn: my phone was dead so i thought 16:49 - Katyn: fuck it, time to do what i do best 16:49 - Katyn: roll up a fat joint and go on a massive trek 16:49 - Katyn: got home just as the sky started getting light 16:49 - Katyn: walked through this foresty lane that runs next to a dual carriageway 16:49 - Katyn: it was so chill 16:50 - Katyn: texted him the next morning 16:50 - Katyn: turns out he'd fallen asleep in the toilet :V 16:50 - Katyn: he woke up and walked back as well, apparently we were only about 10 minutes apart the whole way back 16:51 - Katyn: my feet still hurt ;p 16:51 - The Genie: Lol you didn't think of checking the toilet? 16:51 - Katyn: i don't even remember him going in there :p 16:51 - Katyn: or know where it is 16:52 - Katyn: was a fuckin good new years tho
Next New Years I'm getting drunk.
Haven't really posted in here for awhile, I mainly just lurk. Even though its late Happy New Years everyone, I hope this year is a good one. I got pretty wasted last night, was drinking beers at first, then whiskey then rum. I did some pretty good coke at around 11:30 so during midnight I was off my tits, ended up getting back really late to my girlfriends house and passed out on her floor. I had a bit to smoke as well, but in the morning I was puking my guts up for a solid 3-4 hours, it wasn't pleasant but now I'm just gonna smoke myself to sleep.
My new years resolution is try try to make my last 2.2 grams of weed last until the first week of school (almost 2 weeks from today 1/1) It's from the nicest lookin 6 gram nug of the half, real dank, I'll be smoking in a bowl probably no more than .3 at one time, rinse repeat probably like 6 or 7 times (7x.3=2.1) My nug is 2.2g. I should make a plot of when I'll smoke.. Eh I just won't smoke any of it for the first 5 days, then I'll smoke a bowl a day. So it should be a decent 5 day t-break
I work away from home so I just don't bring my weed with me and bam, 2 week t-break. 5g lasts me for well over a month, maybe 2
I'm about to drop an emotion bomb. I feel like I don't have any real friends. The one guy I thought was my best friend turned out to be a terrible friend who would rat me out, peer pressure me, and fuck me over for his personal gain. He's not a nice person in general. I'm not super close to any other people. I have had a hard time explaining the type of person my dad is, but recently I have just pegged him as a narcissist. He's super close minded and gets really angry all the time and always thinks he's in the right. He used to be an alcoholic, and I'm glad I never knew him when he was. It must have been terrible for my mom. My parents get in a yelling argument at least once a week, sometimes more. They used to argue constantly, but its died down. When I was younger and they argued, I would tell them how uncomfortable it made me, where even a couple of times I would walk between them and just yell, "Stop fighting!" My dad would always tell me that they weren't fighting, that they were having creative discussion. Even as a kid I knew this was bullshit. I've been weed sober for over 2 months. I did this for my girlfriend, and I guess even for me, and it has helped me in a lot of ways. My grades went from F's and C's to A's and B's. My life seems better... but I'm miserable. When I smoked, I was happy with myself when my life went to shit. Now that I'm sober, my life is better but I hate myself. I can't find a happy medium. Now I know that if I smoke, I'll be disappointed in myself and I'll make my girlfriend unhappy. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm downplaying how important she is to me. I'm definitely in love with her. She is better than anything I've had before and she makes me so happy. Last night I spent New Years with her. But after she left, I just got plastered by myself. I think that's when I realized all of this. Life is confusing, you guys. Smoke one up for me. [editline]1st January 2015[/editline] Damn you guys, I just looked back at my posts in this thread and they are all sappy emotional things. This thread has helped me tremendously. Thank you.
Couldn't use the car to go back to my fraternity so had a pretty boring new years at home. Played tf2 for the first time in months, played for like 5 consecutive hours, my wrists hurt for a while. New year, same shit. 2014 was a huge learning experience for me overall, but the amount of shit I encountered was too much. In 2015 I'm going to try to do more what I want to do and hope others sometimes follow as I'm done with wasting a lot of time with social bullshit, I can't just drink and be social for 8 hours I need to do something.
I've been smoking heavily lately and I can feel my brain slowing down This is like my cue to stop and let my anti-depressants be in charge of keeping me happy for a few days And in like 2-3 days life is gonna be dull again and I'll go back to being high all the time What a fun little cycle, it's weird but it's so much better than being depressed or anxious
Got uber drunk last night. Had 6 mixed vodka drinks and made out with random friends at the New Years party. A dude started to make out with me and my drunk mouth couldn't control itself so I made out with him but I told him I didn't like it. People were worrying about me because I fell down so many times in attempt to walk around. Got my shoes dirty as fuck. Oh well, at least I didn't wake up hung over as fuck yo!
[t]http://puu.sh/dX0Nb/016c12da98.png[/t] stinky smellin nuglet of k9
>checking in real quick Hope everyone had a good time over the new years, mine was alright, but i've made a grave mistake in allowing myself to lapse and ended up binging on alcohol, followed by meds... now it's the second of january and i've got just over two weeks until my next appointment, don't know how i'm going to make money to even pay for the appointment at this rate, I fell out with work again, not even getting shifts now, and in general everything has more or less fallen apart over the christmas/new years period I'm starting to feel as though I should go off of medication entirely, because it's starting to feel like it may be depression(alongside mental anxiety towards making changes) coupled with an addictive personality as opposed to adhd that's really /getting in my way/ so to speak basically, i'm too stuck in my own, self jeopardizing ways and though the medication does help me keep up with things, stay focused, make progress to some degree, it seems to amplify my desire to behave in particular ways as well (dopamine system, go figure) and unfortunately that doesn't go too well with the ways and habits i'm stuck in the problem with all this then? I'm already feeling dependent on the medication in order to cope with life in general my life has just been a series of poor choices that I seemingly couldn't avoid, for one reason or another, I really need to stop. Unforunately, I have that thing where I know what i'm doing wrong, but I can't seem to work out why I do it, and I know it's delusional to think that 'if I could just figure out why i'm like this, it will all be better', but I can't help but ask myself, why am I like this, why do I continue to fuel downward spirals through my poor choices even when I know I shouldn't, what part of me is engaging in the behavior and why can't I just get a god damned grips on it, every time I do I seem to be like "Now I know I sholdn't do this, because i'm going to feel like shit afterwords, i'm going to be setting myself back, but fuck it things will be alright" I feel like i'm literally stuck in a state in which i'm just robbing myself, of happiness, of joy, of productivity, of confidence, of my own health and well being, it's about as senseless as buying a much needed glass from a store just to ditch it at the ground to see if MAYBE THIS TIME, it won't shatter and of course you wouldn't have needed to buy that glass if you hadn't smashed the last set for no good reason I need to stop before it gets completely out of control, because in this context, that glass could very well and truly be my life The irony? I only realize the level of dependency when i'm faced with the prospect of going without, I feel that in a sense, part of my justification towards why I continue to bnige is because /I don't want to be dependant/ I know this is completely ironic, though, but it continues to creep up on me through foolish justifications and self-delusion, But with the state my mind is in overall, I think I need to find grounding in complete baseline sober for an extended period of time, i'm probably starting to sound like a broken record, this is exactly why I feel it's probably the best option, unfortunately, that dependency, especially when I am baseline sober, makes me think different thoughts, feel differently towards it... And of course, when I do get back on post fucking up I assume it will be okay this time, because everything seems to go smoothly /for a while/, but as soon as something triggers me and an old habit, or pattern or whatever you want to call it emerges... the fact that the medication actually works is equally detrimental, and I end up back in this position again. I feel a large part of that may be the dependency it self, as it feels I have more faith and confidence in the medication than I do in myself, in a sense, I trust the medication to keep me controlled, when really, I shouldn't, I should be trusting myself to stay in control of it, unfortunately, it's hard to do so given my history with substances, the addictive personality, the overall lack of self confidence that I never quite managed to establish along the way, and the general state of mind, the patterns of behaviour etc. that those things combined result in simply put the thing thats really getting in the way, is purely within me, it is me, it's my nature as a result of my past choices, my history, possibly to some degree my dna, but ultimately, my lack of self confidence, lack of internal coping mechanisms, and that's not something that can be solved with any substance, unfortunately; given my history and nature, the substances can help me temporarily in that they do work how they're supposed too, but ultimately put me deeper into that very nature as a result that nature is one of addiction, which is a result of chronic self-medication in my formative years instead of developing adequate coping mechanisms, that could be ADHD related, very likely but environmental, contextual, social, etc factors probably played a large part as well I mean, I've gone as far as to steal money to buy weed before.... I don't know how I got so dependent on just weed as such, i've come to the conclusion that; stimulants are probably the worst option for me, simply because they work how they're supposed too and because of my nature This is the part that gets me though, i've tried to do this before, but it creeps up ever so sneakingly, the ADHD symptoms, specifically impulsiveness and my moment-to-moment, extremely short sighted state of mind when i'm baseline makes it EXTREMELY difficult to stick to much of anything, the addiction levels of my habitual behaviors though definitely makes that worse stimulants helped me a huge deal with that to begin with, until psychological dependency came into play and pulled me into yet another addiction loop, I should never have trusted something that makes me more myself to keep me in control pf things when I can't even trust myself to stay in control of because it's a substance, and i'm sure you guys remember my track record at staying in control of substances; the only way I could stop myself and get away was by realizing I couldn't trust myself, somewhere along the line, I forgot about that part and was able to stay in control of things, for a short while, but me being me, I let go of that trust and put it back into the substance as opposed to myself, as a result of the substance working how it is supposed too okay i'll stop typing and ranting now, I should probably eat something, but yeah, TL;DR; Addiction is a cunt, dependency is fucked, you can pretty much read that and get the gist of what i'm saying above
[QUOTE=Consciousness;46838692]words[/QUOTE] honestly dude i know that feeling, just allow yourself to take a break a few weeks, maybe just smoke weed, allow your mind to go as crazy as it wants (which it will being sober that long finally, trust me i know this feeling too well) allow tyourself to get jackshit done, and realize the world will work out whether you try or not, you dont need to put any effort into it. i had to go through the anxious thought loops for a while after quitting dxm and vic's and drinking all the time. i drank almost every day from 14 to a few weeks ago. thats 5 years. it really makes reality feel alot more stressful, even dark in a way sobering up and opening up to all the thoughts / worries / challenges you didnt care about when youre drunk. the keys to LET it pass, and LET yourself have fun and get over it. you dont need to DO anything, just give yourself time to just BE oh yea and happy new years eeryone!! [editline]2nd January 2015[/editline] your brains gonna do what it wants, just observe those thoughts and ask yourself, what is my body doing in this exact moment? what am i doing in this exact moment that is supporting my goals?
well in this exact moment I am observing a smell and taste of an almost sweet, mystical somewhat off putting aroma that can only simply be described as 'I think my mind is frying' Except in comparison to when I had a similar thing to meth, it doesn't give off the vibe of death and decay leaving me scared that i'm going to die more a sense of freedom and hope, like a holy/divine kind of aroma, it's pungent, off putting because i'm not used to it, but overall pleasant but fuck I swear I know that smell, I can't quite put my finger on it, it seems so familiar but of course, the harder I try to realize it it the more faint and distant it gets it's not even a consistant thing, I just get like this whiff of it every now and then, intermittent A friend of mine has said to me 'You know success has a taste? you can almost smell it and taste it far before you achieve it, it's sweet, but the more you try to work it out, the further away it gets' could this be it or am I just ridiculously over stimulated either way, time to put myself to attaining independence peace DD
Happy late new year dd. I was up in maine freezing my ass off on a beach, smoked some cigars and drank about 20 beers with highschool friends. Make 2012+3 your bitch
Wow I can't believe it's already been two years since the world was destroyed Probably gonna be trying salvia with a friend soon. Does anyone have any tips on handling yourself during the effects or anything else to look out for/do?
[QUOTE=ZenX2;46840029]Wow I can't believe it's already been two years since the world was destroyed Probably gonna be trying salvia with a friend soon. Does anyone have any tips on handling yourself during the effects or anything else to look out for/do?[/QUOTE] basically, don't try to prepare too much because nothing you can do can really prepare you for it, a bit of meditation to have a calm mind when you go through it is probably about the extent of it, but even so nervousness going in never ruined the experience for me once it hit me you can, however, ease your way in with small doses, but I mean even so... it's a very strange substance, it's like tripping on acid a bit in terms of headspace (deja vu, profoundness) but instead of visual/perceptual distortions, you get distortions of a much more physical nature, and I found I could usually think pretty clearly compared to psychedelics. It can be quite uncomfortable and unexpected when you suddenly feel like you're falling through infinite layers of reality, or when you feel like your heads been unzipped, or when you suddenly fall out of your head and become your bed, a wall, or end up in a different reality all together temporarily (I haven't gone that far myself, I don't see the point) also, if you meet the salvia lady, have some respect and genuinely listen to anything she has to tell you, she's nice and can teach you a lot and conveys a great deal of truth, but will bite you if you don't take what she shows you seriously (like fighting whatever it is within that moment) or otherwise abuse the plant (I believe this is a purely self-governed psychological phenomenon, but it's proven true time after time between a huge deal of people) the people that enjoy salvia approach it with an open mind and respect, they don't expect anything specific but they don't willingly abuse it those that don't, are usually the people that go for like 50x and smoke it with the assumption it's gonna get them high like weed or something, and then get their ass whooped through infinite dimensions and god knows how many fractal realities only to land themselves back on earth cursing the 'devil substance' for fucking with their head, when really, it wasn't the substance, it was their seek to get as fucked up as possible as quick as possible that caused them to have such an experience (of course, unprepared with no knowledge of what they're getting themselves into, limited past psycho nautical experience of any similar kind etc, very easy for it to have a negative spin when you approach it with a negative mental attitude) Traditionally, salvia is quidded (fresh leaves chewed and kept in the mouth for approx. 15 minutes, absorbed like sublingually/gums etc, then spat out) It's a much smoother, tranquil and often entheogenic experience extracts aren't terrible, but keep it on the down low, no need to shoot for the moon (50, 100, 200x etc) because chances are if you do, you might just get more than you expected out of the experience and possibly never want to do it again I got that from 10x, and I didn't even have that particularly an uncomfortable experience, overall probably one of my most memorable ones in a good way, but it had the vibe of like, slapping a death metal distortion on mozart music it's something, it's interesting, but there's a lot of signal interference as a result of the potency, it's harder to see the beauty and find real value in it, at higher levels I imagine it'd be more like hitting the dubstep switch on reality, in terms of physical experience, but that's just extrapolation and you shouldn't take my word for it personally if I ever do salvia again, i'd opt to quid because I don't see the point in glitching out my sense of physical reality to those sorta points, although i'm sure it too is an interesting experience, I have no need for that
[video=youtube;3wLRfkN9Mtg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wLRfkN9Mtg[/video] I know I rarely ever post in here, but you guys are really cool. I wish I could smoke you all out. Enjoy this song for me.
That was a nice little new years, I sat in the same place from like 8pm til 5am, stoned, going out to smoke occasionally or walking around the house party to find people for someone else. Weird little night, anyone who wanted to talk to me just came to me. 5am I sniffed a line of ket, K-holed nicely and then next thing I know it's 7am and quickly nearing 8. We tidied up, left, smoked a spliff in a park then went to mcdonalds for breakfast. Went and smoked another couple spliffs. I don't remember the walk home. Managed to make back the money I spent on NOS while doing loads of balloons myself. Wish I'd spoken to some more girls but everyone there was on drone or mandy and generally just far too much for my baked self. Decent. Hopefully 2015 is the year of better quality weed while also smoking less. Would like to focus on education a bit, as I really don't have to do that much, so I may as well just do it. Summer is a long break too so I've got a lot to look forward to.
i keep wanting to look up the hours to what time the gas station on the corner of my block opens but thats not something i'd be able to find. :(
To be, or not to be, that is the question.
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