• Post your own short story!
    72 replies, posted
[QUOTE=7-8-9;33458684]* Atlanta, the airport * Jasmine:*sighh* Julia:(walking backwards facing Jasmine) Ok we know that your hurting but in a few hours we will be at the beach, tanning, & flirting with guys! Lucy: (also walking backwards to face Jasmine)And if there are two things we know you love they're tanning and guys! Jasmine: Yeah, your right. *starts smiling but still not sure* ( joins her friends in walking backward and starts laughing) *Collision!!* Jasmine's P.O.V: We were walking backwards probably having the most fun out of all the people in the airport! Ahh, it feels good to laugh again :). Oh my god what was that? Oh snap...we just bumped into 3 cute guys like idiots. *End of P.O.V* Jasmine: Oh my gosh I'm soooooo sorry! ??? #1: its okay! Julia: No we should have been paying attention. ??? #2: don't worry about it, we sometimes do that too! Lucy: Are you guys okay? We kinda *gets red* had some momentum there! ??? #3: (Laughs) we're all good! (Jasmine finally turns around after picking up the guys stuff and her stuff and looks in his eyes) Jasmine: *breath taken away* Woah...Your Justin Bieber. Justin: The one and only! *smiles irresitably* Julia: (turns around at hearing his name) ... *tries not to scream* Oh (eyes light up) you must be Christian then! Christian: Yeah, nice to meet ya!! Julia: (laughs and obviously starts flirting) Lucy: So you must be Ryan ( A. N. not Jasmine's ex) Ryan: Yupp! Jasmine's P.O.V: TELL HIM YOUR NAME STUPID!!!! NOOO STOP TURINING BRIGHT RED! PLEASE! FOR YOUR SAKE!!! YOU MAY HAVE A CHANCE WITH THIS KID!!!!!*End of P.O.V* Jasmine: Hi I'm Jasmine, thats Julia and Lucy. Julia and Lucy: ( very intrested in the guys they bumped into) 'sup. Jasmine: Again we're sorry we bumped into you guys! Justin: (Laughs) it's no problem what so ever! Justin's P.O.V: Jasmine keeps apologizing but its fine! I'm kinda glad they bumped into us, Jasmine's cute! I wonder if she likes me or not...*End of P.O.V* Justin: So you wanna get together sometime? Julia: Sure, that would be fun! Lucy: Definitely! Jasmine: Sure *P.O.V; YESS!!! please please please say hang out at the beach! End of P.O.V* Justin: How about the beach? Jasmine, Julia, & Lucy: Sounds awesome! Justin: Great! Um do you guys need a ride home? Lucy: Nah we're good my dad is around here somewhere. Thanks though! Ryan: No problem (smiling) Justin: Can I have your number...you know to keep in touch! Jasmine: Oh sure its 504-2990 ( A.N. i made the number up!) Okay, we have to go look for Lucy's dad now. Justin: & we have to go look for my mom now. Oh there she is over there! Lucy: Hey! thats my dad standing next to her! Christian: Lets walk over together. ( Links arms with Julia) Julia's P.O.V: Did Christian just link arms with me?! omg he's sooo cute!! I think I like him more than Justin...wait a minute. Nah. I like him more than Justin.*End of P.O.V* WOOO! ok its a tuesday that feels like a fridayy! Oh and if Chaz's picture is up there then just replace Ryan's name with Chaz but i dont think it is! Ok so for all my subscribers: THANKSS!![/QUOTE] atlanta, the airport? what? if you're writing something that takes place in a real location, say it's name. nobody outside of georgia is going to know you mean something as specific as Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. [editline]28th November 2011[/editline] also its terrible
[QUOTE=Burgervich;33475632]Why isn't anyone taking the thread seriously?[/QUOTE] Because you can't take a thread seriously when it specifically tells you to do so. You're an idiot for thinking that the internet has any sort of self control.
I haven't had a chance to finish or re-write any of this. It's in it's raw unedited form as of now. [quote=The Green Church]The screen of my computer lit the back of my eyelids; as I had nodded off momentarily and with alarming frequency as of late followed by early stirrings in the morning from which I gained no rest and stared anxiously at the walls of my room. My dreams yielded no comfort for I felt the searching, seething tendrils of sickly cancerous horror that twisted, tortured and boiled the matter it came in contact with as if the atoms themselves writhed in pain. Something was coming, quickening, growing more intense. I would occasionally leave my room at these dark hours to go burn a cigarette off, it was november and the leaves were just past barely turning as we had an unusually long summer that kept the october air heated. The nights were now growing frigid. I would sit out on the back porch facing a large backyard which was enshrouded by large hedges, thick and voluptuous bushes that reached towards the sky in search of the light. Behind me the dining room was situated from my seating position and I had the electric chandelier on to light my reading while I smoked through the double window-paneled doors. It had become familiar. Ritual. With the nightmares and anxious dreams tugging at the edges of my thoughts, I was distracted from my book. The sound of possums in the bushes made tittering and whispery noises, with the occasional shuffle that gave one the impression of footsteps. I simply couldn't follow the words, I'd read a sentence and what I had read would slip through my mind like a sieve causing me to close the book in frustration. I took a long drag on my cigarette and looked at the shadows cast by the windows on the doors behind me. The way their geometry stretched and warped across the grass and bushes gripped me in my tired and weary state of mind. The sounds of the familiar possums stopped sounding as familiar, more alien and slightly off. There was a prevalent whispering sound in a tongue who's words danced on the edge of perception as the very shadows themselves formed themselves or within my minds eye (I know not which) into what appeared to be a row of people, their silhouettes of illumination, without face, glaring at me accusingly as if I had committed some wrongdoing. The breath in my throat caught, cold as ice in remembrance at the gaze I had received a fortnight ago at the beginning of all of this. For a while, I was well acquainted with Urbex. It's the exploration of abandoned buildings often used hand-in-hand with photography. Many find beauty in the desolation of these monolithic structures, their life surpassing their use. Myself, and two others had been searching for new locations to go exploring and we'd settled we wanted to go somewhere far away from home, at least costal. We had hit a goldmine, it was in California in a incredibly small and deserted town with some fairly well developed if not aged docks on a long empty stretch of highway. That was to be our destination. We embarked on our journey on an overcast day that did not rain in our vehicle, a four person truck, one friend next to me and the other sitting in the back seat, swaying with the movement of the truck on the somewhat curving and at times winding road along the cliffy embroidery that separated the land from the sea, smoothing into hilly sand dunes, sometimes specked with turgid vegetation, fat and stunted, leafless trees with their wood graying against the salt air among the rocky area. My friend in the back commented on the resemblance of a particular hill that he claimed to look much like a breast, trying to be funny and failing in his slight anxiety that tended to overtake him before these trips in anticipation of being caught. Nobody laughed letting the repellent joke die in the air of silence that was over all of us as we drove on. The road was hard and the weather was brisk enough with the heating in our vehicle broken. It was a long enough journey indeed, only made longer by the discomfort of the nip of sea air blown right off the top of the water, sloshing up to greet you, wanting to caress you to it's watery depths. There was little in the way of a barrier keeping our vehicle from a tumble down over jagged rocks and into biting water, and even with the weight of our vehicle the winds we would be slapped with would shudder the suspension as if our truck could shiver at the cold in reaction. The waters were choppy and black with white foams tipping the black edges of the sea as if they were scratches upon sharpened and polished obsidian, waves jutting out like spearheads and collapsing like reaching hands, guided by the wind in our direction. We parked just outside of the town, to our left the dock, to our right a small abandoned pump station, a couple shops and general supply stores long vacated and raided, with six or seven streets of identically shaped but uniquely shabby houses. If there was sound after the engine of the truck sputtered and went to slumber, we were not aware as the sounds of the sea would have swallowed them up. It was about 6 or 7 in the afternoon when we arrived for we had left a bit late. We exited our steed and stood around looking at each other and our surroundings, quite unsure of what to do next. "Gas Station first?" Suggested the second friend who had made the comparison of the warty hills to that of breasts. Me and the first friend agreed that we would delve deeper into the town first; I'm sure we were both agreeing to spite the second. But in fact it appeared as if the Gas Station was rather well boarded up, keeping people out as well as it would the contents inside in. A glance at the docks that ran alongside the houses revealed them to be more decrepit than was initially believed; one would have to tread carefully to not step through a hole or cause a fresh one. There were four rotting wood and concrete expansions for the same number of large ships; this was at the end of a very long slope that jutted out from the cliffs and one could imagine why the town would close, the slope was probably a major issue, especially if things got wet and muddy as they did rather often one imagines. To look to our right revealed the isolated streets of spaced out shabby housing, windows boarded up, no sounds emanating from within. A more modern ghost town. To look down the streets and past the little residential district revealed some very hilly areas upon which a ruined church sat atop; from a distance it was an interesting feature but quite non-threatening; we would save the best for last. Why had this town been abandoned so? What had caused the small population to flee if it had not been poor profits? The small town gave one the impression of a hurried departure. If the docks were still on your left, and the street and church to your right, then to look straight ahead and walk past the streets would reveal the few local run shops and general stores that sustained them; they weren't stripped down but just boarded up like the rest of the houses with their signs still up advertising past the lifespan of the shop below it. It was depressingly small and lacked a school so not much room for children, not a nice place to live for anyone. We entered a row of houses, equal in how different each one was as well as how decrepit and boarded up they were. Me and the first friend lit cigarettes as we looked up and down each twisted and dying house, the white fecal of birds streaming like tears down from windowsills; chipped paint giving way to scabby dry wood underneath spreading in a rashy and diseased pattern. They must have received as much care in life as they did now, they never looked like they had been cared for much; what contrasted to my eyes was just how carefully each house was boarded up, built as if the barriers were made to be left standing long after the house had collapsed. It was eerie in the silence that we experienced traveling up and down two or three rows of houses as we finished our cigarettes. A feeling of comfort came over me, that feeling of going out at a late hour to have a cigarette as I was now. A feeling of the completion of something ritual. It's funny now that I look back upon it and I find that no house is clear in my memory, they were each so distinct and destroyed that they blended together leaving no one looking any more distinct than the other as if their owners when they were built were in a race to build the oddest looking house. It stopped being interesting after a while. After we had pried with no luck at some of the boards on one or two of the houses; we decided breaking into one of these was not going to be easily done without tools that we were not in the possession of. While prying at one particular house I noted after pricking the palm of my hand that many of the nails had been put in on the inside. This bothered me but I did not dwell on it long for I only found more to lose myself in. "We go to the docks or the church." I said to my companions. The docks were rather desolate save for some huddled rotten crates; the vote was unanimous. We would go to the church. We traveled back up through a row of houses towards the hilly area beyond upon which the church thrust out into the sky. Unlike the houses the church did not appear to be boarded up, some windows had been smashed with their glass still laying so long on the ground on the outside as if something had been birthed from within. We watched where we trod as we approached the now apparently non-christian church-like building which we now approached. There were no outside indicators as to what religion it followed, architecturally it did most resemble a church but bore no sign of the Lord or the Cross; the stones that it was built upon smooth, matte, and dark with an almost imperceptible greenish tint. It felt rough as coarse sandpaper to the hand but looked infinitely smooth to the eye, as if nothing would stick to it's surface. We loitered some time looking for a way in, but also procrastinating as nobody wanted to be first to go in just as much as nobody wanted to admit it. How brave we thought ourselves, so young but calling ourselves men. Naiveté.[/quote]
This is the first short story I have ever written. Please don't bash me. The Forest Summer was going great so far. I had just finished the eighth grade, got a summer job and even got a decent car. I wasn't making too much on my job, but enough for a new speaker system in my car when I could use it, which was really the only thing I wanted money for at the moment. I rolled over moving my legs, flipping my pillow, and even trying different settings on the fan. I couldn't fall asleep. I decided I could turn my tv on low and see if the blue haze would send me off to dreamland. No success. I grabbed some pajama bottoms and headed out to the kitchen for a late night snack. I tried to open my door as silently as I could but it didn't matter. My door was too creaky and needed to be replaced so I wasn't sure if anyone had heard me. I didn't think so but I noticed every cracking noise my ankle made and tried to be more silent as I opened the fridge door. The smell of refrigerated pizza escaped. I opened the box up and took a slice. Cold pizza was one of my favorite snacks. I slowly tiptoed back to my room and closed the door slowly. I finished eating the pizza, shut off the tv, and headed to bed. I was woken up in a cold sweat. I could hear a loud beating, and all I could think was that someone had broken in and I was too shockd to move. I looked around not moving a muscle, and noticing that I just had a nightmare. I absolutely hated them and tried to avoid them by not letting my mind get to me at times. This was just more real then times before. It was just bizzare. The next day was the usual, me and Brad hung out for about two hours, I skateboarded for an hour or so, and then I headed home. I placed my backpack next to my open door and picked up my phone. Nothing important so I tossed it back onto my bed and decided to take my dog for a walk. My dog Rufus, (Yeah I know, typical dog name) always puked when I took him for walks. I really didn't mind because it was a really discrete thing, and at least he didn't do it in the house. I took him back to the woods behind my house, which i'm not supposed to because he might get fleas, but I choose to disobey that rule because I like thinking in the woods. The smell of the Pine trees stimulated my mind and I started thinking about the other night. I couldn't help but remeber that terrifying noise, that pounding. Even if it was my imagination, it scared the hell out of me and I really don't want it to happen again. Rufus interrupted my thoughts by jerking forward and I hit part of an uprooted tree. I lost grip of the lease and he ran off. "God dammit!" I thought. I ran home to get my phone. "Well do you want me to just go back there alone?" I asked "Whatever you were doing was damn stupid to lose Rufus because he's a small dog, so get your ass out there and find him" My mom replied. "Great parenting mom, let's hope I don't get raped or kidnapped." I snarled. I usually say witty things like that and get in trouble when she gets home. I held the flashlight steadily and watched where I was walking so I didn't trip. "Rufus!" I called out. I didn't hear anything except my feet hitting the wet leaves. I checked my phone and it was already 9:30, but I didn't want to stop looking for him. I saw a faint light in the distance. I was curious to whether that was what attracted Rufus to leave my side. I turned my flashlight so it would face the ground and wouldn't cause much attention. I had no idea if this would turn into The Hills Have Eyes so I was trying to be as careful as possible. I still didn't hear anything. I approached the door and pushed on it, noticing the dirty inside and the old pictures. They had yellowed with time and were in contrast to the dark figures in the picture. I picked one up and then got smashed in the back of the head. My vision was blurred and my head was getting dragged across the wet ground and tree trunks, and I could feel the blood escaping my skull. I knew I was just as good as dead but I wanted to see who was dragging me across the ground. My back ached as I turned my head and I saw the most horrifying thing I had ever saw in my life. It was pale and had needles for teeth. I had no idea how a human could look like this, but I wasn't exactly sure it was human. We had stopped moving, which meant we might have arrived somewhere but I felt something carve into my femur, and I screamed in agony. It would make no difference, but I couldn't help it. It was a cleaver. I heard a bark. It was Rufus! I actually thought I might get out of this alive. My head fell to the ground as that thing was bitten. It had no weapon as the cleaver was still stuck in my leg. I still had the worst pain in my life in my leg. I jerked the cleaver out. It hurt so much more than it did before. I screamed again, this time, longer. My dog amazingly grabbed a hold of my sleeve and dragged me as best as he could. I wasn't sure what had happened to that thing. We had reached the tree I stumbled over earlier. A rock smashed into my eye. I was dragged back to water and thrown in. I was drowned.
[QUOTE=I be da best;33513648]This is the first short story I have ever written. Please don't bash me. The Forest Summer was going great so far. I had just finished the eighth grade, got a summer job and even got a decent car. I wasn't making too much on my job, but enough for a new speaker system in my car when I could use it, which was really the only thing I wanted money for at the moment. I rolled over moving my legs, flipping my pillow, and even trying different settings on the fan. I couldn't fall asleep. I decided I could turn my tv on low and see if the blue haze would send me off to dreamland. No success. I grabbed some pajama bottoms and headed out to the kitchen for a late night snack. I tried to open my door as silently as I could but it didn't matter. My door was too creaky and needed to be replaced so I wasn't sure if anyone had heard me. I didn't think so but I noticed every cracking noise my ankle made and tried to be more silent as I opened the fridge door. The smell of refrigerated pizza escaped. I opened the box up and took a slice. Cold pizza was one of my favorite snacks. I slowly tiptoed back to my room and closed the door slowly. I finished eating the pizza, shut off the tv, and headed to bed. I was woken up in a cold sweat. I could hear a loud beating, and all I could think was that someone had broken in and I was too shockd to move. I looked around not moving a muscle, and noticing that I just had a nightmare. I absolutely hated them and tried to avoid them by not letting my mind get to me at times. This was just more real then times before. It was just bizzare. The next day was the usual, me and Brad hung out for about two hours, I skateboarded for an hour or so, and then I headed home. I placed my backpack next to my open door and picked up my phone. Nothing important so I tossed it back onto my bed and decided to take my dog for a walk. My dog Rufus, (Yeah I know, typical dog name) always puked when I took him for walks. I really didn't mind because it was a really discrete thing, and at least he didn't do it in the house. I took him back to the woods behind my house, which i'm not supposed to because he might get fleas, but I choose to disobey that rule because I like thinking in the woods. The smell of the Pine trees stimulated my mind and I started thinking about the other night. I couldn't help but remeber that terrifying noise, that pounding. Even if it was my imagination, it scared the hell out of me and I really don't want it to happen again. Rufus interrupted my thoughts by jerking forward and I hit part of an uprooted tree. I lost grip of the lease and he ran off. "God dammit!" I thought. I ran home to get my phone. "Well do you want me to just go back there alone?" I asked "Whatever you were doing was damn stupid to lose Rufus because he's a small dog, so get your ass out there and find him" My mom replied. "Great parenting mom, let's hope I don't get raped or kidnapped." I snarled. I usually say witty things like that and get in trouble when she gets home. I held the flashlight steadily and watched where I was walking so I didn't trip. "Rufus!" I called out. I didn't hear anything except my feet hitting the wet leaves. I checked my phone and it was already 9:30, but I didn't want to stop looking for him. I saw a faint light in the distance. I was curious to whether that was what attracted Rufus to leave my side. I turned my flashlight so it would face the ground and wouldn't cause much attention. I had no idea if this would turn into The Hills Have Eyes so I was trying to be as careful as possible. I still didn't hear anything. I approached the door and pushed on it, noticing the dirty inside and the old pictures. They had yellowed with time and were in contrast to the dark figures in the picture. I picked one up and then got smashed in the back of the head. My vision was blurred and my head was getting dragged across the wet ground and tree trunks, and I could feel the blood escaping my skull. I knew I was just as good as dead but I wanted to see who was dragging me across the ground. My back ached as I turned my head and I saw the most horrifying thing I had ever saw in my life. It was pale and had needles for teeth. I had no idea how a human could look like this, but I wasn't exactly sure it was human. We had stopped moving, which meant we might have arrived somewhere but I felt something carve into my femur, and I screamed in agony. It would make no difference, but I couldn't help it. It was a cleaver. I heard a bark. It was Rufus! I actually thought I might get out of this alive. My head fell to the ground as that thing was bitten. It had no weapon as the cleaver was still stuck in my leg. I still had the worst pain in my life in my leg. I jerked the cleaver out. It hurt so much more than it did before. I screamed again, this time, longer. My dog amazingly grabbed a hold of my sleeve and dragged me as best as he could. I wasn't sure what had happened to that thing. We had reached the tree I stumbled over earlier. A rock smashed into my eye. I was dragged back to water and thrown in. I was drowned.[/QUOTE] You need to mention who this Brad person is I'm going to guess it's him friend? The rest is okay, but not very original. This type of story has been done so many times before.
So one day there was a Pony... lolnope Here's a short story I wrote for a fanfic a while ago. It's spun off of a franchise called "Warhammer 40" Hope it's acceptable. I awoke from unconsciousness to the roar of the ever changing battle field. I watched in horror as my battle-brothers were shot down from where they stood, by the ever coming lasbolts. With no battle-brothers left, I was as good as dead, but I needed to get back to the main force, to tell them of the plight. As I snapped out of my daze I noticed I had none of my usual weaponry, except for my chainsword. I quickly got up from where I lay, only to have the lasgun fire train on me. I felt the searing pain of a lasbolt shred my left ear into bits. “I need to get into cover” I thought, as more lasbolts plinked off my power suit. I swiftly entered a building, only to find that inside resided a couple of renegade Imperial Guardsmen. Instincts kicked in and I immediately killed the two soldiers and ran up the stairs. I peered out of the windows to assess the situation. Multiple squads of renegade Guardsmen, and tanks, were advancing through what used to be the capitol city of the planet, and it looked every bit like I was doomed. I saw a group of four Marines from a different Chapter also in a situation as bad as mine. I shouted to the Marines to hold that position, and wait for me to get there. I ran back out of the house, and dropped to the ground as more lasfire came upon me. I swiftly crawled through the dust and debris until I found a bend in the street. I got up and ran down the corner, only to find more rubble, and a Guardsman looting the bodies of the fallen Squad that used to be here. I yelled in rage and rent a hole through his back with my blade. I turned his corpse over and saw he had attempted to steal multiple bolt pistol magazines and a bolt pistol. I grabbed the pistol and the ammo, then made a prayer to the pistol’s spirit that if he should do me well, then I should return him to his rightful owner. Equipment in hand, I tried to climb the rubble, but it was seemingly impassable. I returned to the streets, and found that there were no more lasbolts pumping into the walls of the houses on the street, but I heard lasfire very near me. I quickly peeked into the street, and found that there were nine Space Marines. Four were the ones I had seen earlier, no doubt searching for me because of my delay. I ran out to help them in their fight. We swiftly put down the soldiers that had been firing down the streets for what seemed like hours, but in truth were mere minutes. We raced down the street, and turned to find us eye to eye with at least thirty of the renegade scum. I tore down multiple foes in the heat of the battle. When the battle was over we counted our losses, three dead. We all made prayers to the dead, and vowed to return for them when we had reinforcements. A tingle grew upon my scalp as I heard a loud rumble from ahead, and then saw an immense black bulk, smashing through rubble as if it was nothing. A wave of disbelief, and horror, ran over the squad as a ransacked Imperial Baneblade thundered into the streets in front of us. Adrenaline hit me hard as I dove to my right, just as the gargantuan tank fired its cannons upon the squad. Multiple members of the rag-tag squad were liquefied inside of their power armor as the large shell impacted itself into the ground and exploded, sending fragments into more of the squad. A large piece of fragmentation from a soldiers shoulder plate flew at me, and impaled itself into my stomach, pinning me into the wall. The defiled machine stopped and a mutated soldier stepped out, from the looks of his clothing he was a very high rank. He walked into the building and set his twisted gaze upon me, then rasped “Let’s make a deal, that you won’t refuse.”
[B]Kananaskis (Based on a False Story)[/B] I don't think I've ever really told this story before, but I think that this is as good a place as ever to publish it. It was only recently that I was thinking about this story and realized just how interesting a story it might be to tell. I was really quite young when it first happened so I didn't think much of it and eventually I just stopped thinking about it. Now, years later I'm suddenly remembering puzzling times from my childhood that I'm starting to piece together and begin to understand. Here's a story that I've only now realized how strange and unusual it is. Back when I was born and throughout my entire childhood/teen years I've lived in Calgary, Alberta (Canada) with my mother, father and two sisters. I'd say that my life there had been pretty good. My parents loved me and cared about me. We'd often have arguments and such, but I knew it didn't mean much. They would give me money for fun and chores for the money. My dad would always take me with him hunting and shooting. He still does. Sometimes it's all that he can talk about; I used to just drown out his voice when he was talking to me because it would always be about the same stuff. It was rude, but he could never tell. He was more of a talker than a listener. My mom and me didn't do as much together. She was a good mother, but she was always so frustrated and angry with work. She'd sometimes take it out on the family. Me and her didn't speak much. My family didn't have the greatest financial stability and as a result we didn't go on many vacations. The one thing that we would do every year though for our family fun for the summer would be going camping. I loved camping. I've always loved the outdoors and I'd always be so excited to go camping when I was young. It would be a different spot every year. Sometimes we'd pick okay spots, other time's we'd pick awful spots. Once in a while we would manage to find a perfect spot. I liked to go camping in large woodland areas near the mountains because those places were always so fun for exploring. There was one campground we found that was exactly that. Large, plenty of pine trees, in the mountains, all the great things you would look for in nature. It was in a place called Kananaskis Country. It seemed to be fairly high in demand, especially in the summer. Luckily we managed to book an open campsite through the mess of trailers and other families trying to get it. The photographs on the internet made it look so beautiful and fun. They had small amphitheatres where the park staff would volunteer to put on plays for all the families that came there. It looked great and we were so looking forward to it. We booked our campsite for a weeklong stay, packed up our supplies and left the next day. We left in the morning. We all carried the coolers and backpacks into our van and left the house. I always hated the long drives as a kid. A drive even over half an hour would start boring me after a while, and the one coming up was absolute hell for me. It took us about two hours to finally see a road sign saying "KANANASKIS: ___ MILES." And then another hour just to get into the campground. We saw all of these people setting up tents, picnic tables and trailers. We were finally there. Our campsite was number forty nine. It looked absolutely wonderful. There were bushes and trees all around it. There must have been at least ten meter's distance between sites. There was sun shining through these tall coniferous trees that surrounded the area, it was flat and full of space so we could put our tent anywhere we wanted and it was quiet. You know how there's usually awfully tunes radio music playing somewhere or drunk rednecks laughing their asses off in the distance, swearing? All you could hear was the birds and rustling trees. It was so serene and peaceful. After enjoying the calmness of an empty site, we started to fill it with our various coolers, fold-out chairs and enormous tent. It looked good with all our stuff set out neatly. All we had to do now was relax and enjoy. Now, normally I get bored when I'm camping and this trip was definitely not an execption. My mom didn't want me wandering off on my own so I was confined to our site. It started to seem a lot smaller than it did before. I tried reading a book but I ended up getting bored. I tried drawing pictures but it just didn't seem to be working out. After a while I had no other choice but to try and sleep in the tent. It was immensely hot in there, like an oven. It was awful at first, but soon I got used to the heat and embraced it as a sort of comfort. Eventually I did fall asleep and it was for quite a while by the time I woke up it was six O'clock and everyone was in the middle of eating dinner. I think it was about half-way through when I got into some sort of argument with my mom. I can't quite remember what it was about, but I think it had something to do with me not being able to go outside the campground and explore the woods. Eventually it got to the point where I ran off onto a random nature trail. It was still bright out, but the sun was pretty close to the horizon at that point. I stopped running after about five minutes and just started walking along this trail. I was enjoying exploring the woods, but I did feel guilty about leaving my mom worried like that. I thought about going back but I had taken a couple of turns along the way and I had a horrible sense of direction. I thought that maybe if I went off the trail and tried to take a shortcut back to the campsite I might be able to get back. I was totally wrong about that. The sky was now a pale blueish-orange and I was seeing silhouettes everywhere. I was getting a bit scared, crouching under branches and tripping over logs. I fell over quite a few times and got a few cuts and bruises. After a ten-minute long trek through the woods I finally found another nature trail. I was so relieved to finally be able to walk easy. I noticed, however that this trail was different. The ones back near the camp were a light brown dirt colour. This trail was made up of small grey pebbles and gravel. The sky was a deep blue now and I was worried that I might have strayed too far from the campsite. I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I couldn't just stay still so I kept going forward (whichever way that was) and hoped that I might be able to find someone who could help. I was almost ready to cry at that point. There was something off about this path. There were short deciduous trees along both sides of the trail that sort of bent themselves into an ominous arch. I stopped for a while just to look around and see where I was. I had no idea if I was even within five miles of my campgrounds. I had to keep walking, following the trail. I thought it had to lead somewhere, right? I saw scary shadows and figures everywhere I looked. The trees there were bare and twisted. I was sweating and tired, I started to doubt if anyone would ever find me. The sky became a pale blue haze and it was starting to get cold. I was wearing a thin red hoodie, but that didn’t help very much. The trail kept going on and on, twisting and turning. It felt like the trees were getting tighter and tighter around the trail and I was beginning to panic. I started to run. I could barely breathe, I was getting sick to my stomach. I thought I would never see my mom and dad again. I just kept running, desperately hoping that I’d see something or someone. After running for a while, I stopped. I just started trudging breathlessly. I couldn’t run anymore. I was tired and it didn’t feel like there was any point. I didn’t think I was going to find anything. Just as I was ready to stop and collapse on the trail, thought I saw an end to the trees up ahead. My eyes widened and I thought I saw the sunset. I ran to it as fast as I could. The trees beginning to thin out, the trail was starting to widen. Finally, after rounding one last twist, I had cleared the trees and saw the sunset. It was beautiful. The sun was just sitting on top of a huge body of water. It seemed to go on forever. It had a gorgeous pink and orange sky all around it. It’s reflection was sparkling in the water. The tides were pulsing onto the sand at the shore. It was totally silent except for the waves. I was standing over an abrupt cliff that was only a few meters above the sand. I sat there for quite a while looking at this beautiful scene. It looked like a painting or a dream. I wanted to drop down onto this beach. I really did want to go, but I knew that if I went off this small cliff I wouldn’t be able to get back up. I looked behind me and saw that awful trail. My heart dropped. I realized that I was still lost and probably wouldn’t be able to get back to my campground tonight. I didn’t want to go back, but I also knew that the beach wouldn’t help me get back either. I sat there for a long time trying to figure out what I should do. I finally decided that I needed to get back to my family before they got too worried, even though they probably already are. I took a deep breath, looked back at the beach and saw that the sun was almost down. I had to go. I rushed back onto the trail and ran through it. Everything was much darker and it was getting difficult to tell where the trail was. I must have ran for fifteen minutes until I started seeing leaves on the trees again. I hopeful that maybe I would make it back there in time. I kept running and started seeing pine trees. I was getting tired, but I couldn’t stop. The sky was now a dark blue and I could barely see my way. Everything was a silhouette. The tree’s shapes were becoming normal now. They weren’t as twisted and I was now seeing the branches full of leaves. I looked down and noticed that the trail was made of brown dirt. I caught the faint smell of smoke. I knew I was at my campground now. After five minutes I started to slow down. My legs were burning and my lungs ached. I was wheezing and sweating. I walked on for a little while longer, then I spotted some lights ahead. I looked closely and saw that it was the check-in cabin. I gasped and ran for it. I was so happy to see there were cars in the parking lot and someone smoking a cigarette outside the building. I headed over to the door and burst through. All the staff gave me these strange looks. I wasn’t sure what to say. I had cuts and bruises on my hands and face, I was panting and sweating like a dog. I just stood there for a minute until one of them said “are you the one that ran off by yourself?” I said yes and he told me that my parents were looking for me. He went over into another room. After a few seconds my parents came out. My mom gasped and my dad’s eyes went wide. My mom kept asking if i was okay and hugging me while my dad told me to never run off again and how he was so worried about me. I was so glad to see them. After we went back to the campsite my parents had asked me what happened. I didn’t tell them the whole story. I just told them that I walked through the woods and fell a couple of times. I don’t know why I left out the rest, but I’m kind of glad I did. They never would have really believed me. At the time that whole thing didn’t seem so unbelievable, but thinking back I realize how bizarre and unsettling that experience was. I don’t really know what that strange trail or that beautiful beach was. Maybe I had a near-death experience. Maybe I just had an overactive imagination. Whatever the reason may be, it was a scary and strange event. I’m starting to dream of that place now though. Every so often I’ll go to sleep and I’ll see that same beach. I want to go down and onto the sand and watch that sunset, but I’ll wake up before I can every time. I’ve thought about going back there, but I don’t know if I’d remember the way. It’s a large forest and I can easily get lost. I might go back some day, but maybe not now. Thank you for reading this story. It feels good to actually tell someone the whole story and not just small details. I hope you enjoyed it. [I]>Implying anyone is actually going to read the whole thing.[/I]
I guess that was the thread ender. Unless anyone else wants to post some[sp]good[/sp]literature.
[QUOTE=IndiffDairyInn;33516675] [I]>Implying anyone is actually going to read the whole thing.[/I][/QUOTE] I was thinking about not reading it, then I saw this and felt guilty. I liked it. It felt aimless at times, but I can't say whether it made the story feel more authentic, like a real recounting of events, or if it made it worse. I'll try to get something in, but what I'm working on right now is longer the IndiffDairyInn's (and that's just the goddamn intro...) I have others but they are all at least 8 pages long.
[QUOTE=Azaer;33530897]I was thinking about not reading it, then I saw this and felt guilty. I liked it. It felt aimless at times, but I can't say whether it made the story feel more authentic, like a real recounting of events, or if it made it worse. I'll try to get something in, but what I'm working on right now is longer the IndiffDairyInn's (and that's just the goddamn intro...) I have others but they are all at least 8 pages long.[/QUOTE] You read mine, I'll read yours. You're a cool guy and I like you.
[QUOTE=Brony;33514479]So one day there was a Pony... lolnope Here's a short story I wrote for a fanfic a while ago. It's spun off of a franchise called "Warhammer 40" Hope it's acceptable. I awoke from unconsciousness to the roar of the ever changing battle field. I watched in horror as my battle-brothers were shot down from where they stood, by the ever coming lasbolts. With no battle-brothers left, I was as good as dead, but I needed to get back to the main force, to tell them of the plight. As I snapped out of my daze I noticed I had none of my usual weaponry, except for my chainsword. I quickly got up from where I lay, only to have the lasgun fire train on me. I felt the searing pain of a lasbolt shred my left ear into bits. “I need to get into cover” I thought, as more lasbolts plinked off my power suit. I swiftly entered a building, only to find that inside resided a couple of renegade Imperial Guardsmen. Instincts kicked in and I immediately killed the two soldiers and ran up the stairs. I peered out of the windows to assess the situation. Multiple squads of renegade Guardsmen, and tanks, were advancing through what used to be the capitol city of the planet, and it looked every bit like I was doomed. I saw a group of four Marines from a different Chapter also in a situation as bad as mine. I shouted to the Marines to hold that position, and wait for me to get there. I ran back out of the house, and dropped to the ground as more lasfire came upon me. I swiftly crawled through the dust and debris until I found a bend in the street. I got up and ran down the corner, only to find more rubble, and a Guardsman looting the bodies of the fallen Squad that used to be here. I yelled in rage and rent a hole through his back with my blade. I turned his corpse over and saw he had attempted to steal multiple bolt pistol magazines and a bolt pistol. I grabbed the pistol and the ammo, then made a prayer to the pistol’s spirit that if he should do me well, then I should return him to his rightful owner. Equipment in hand, I tried to climb the rubble, but it was seemingly impassable. I returned to the streets, and found that there were no more lasbolts pumping into the walls of the houses on the street, but I heard lasfire very near me. I quickly peeked into the street, and found that there were nine Space Marines. Four were the ones I had seen earlier, no doubt searching for me because of my delay. I ran out to help them in their fight. We swiftly put down the soldiers that had been firing down the streets for what seemed like hours, but in truth were mere minutes. We raced down the street, and turned to find us eye to eye with at least thirty of the renegade scum. I tore down multiple foes in the heat of the battle. When the battle was over we counted our losses, three dead. We all made prayers to the dead, and vowed to return for them when we had reinforcements. A tingle grew upon my scalp as I heard a loud rumble from ahead, and then saw an immense black bulk, smashing through rubble as if it was nothing. A wave of disbelief, and horror, ran over the squad as a ransacked Imperial Baneblade thundered into the streets in front of us. Adrenaline hit me hard as I dove to my right, just as the gargantuan tank fired its cannons upon the squad. Multiple members of the rag-tag squad were liquefied inside of their power armor as the large shell impacted itself into the ground and exploded, sending fragments into more of the squad. A large piece of fragmentation from a soldiers shoulder plate flew at me, and impaled itself into my stomach, pinning me into the wall. The defiled machine stopped and a mutated soldier stepped out, from the looks of his clothing he was a very high rank. He walked into the building and set his twisted gaze upon me, then rasped “Let’s make a deal, that you won’t refuse.”[/QUOTE] Why would a Space Marine attack Guardsmen? You also give no mention of what they are fighting, and what planet and where they are fighting.. You also don't tell us his name. Pretty nice through. It also has a few spelling errors.
[QUOTE=Burgervich;33531562]Why would a Space Marine attack Guardsmen? You also give no mention of what they are fighting, and what planet and where they are fighting.. You also don't tell us his name. Pretty nice through. It also has a few spelling errors.[/QUOTE] I felt like it didn't need much character depth, or setting depth, as the story is only a page long on word. The reason they were fighting the Guardsmen was because as the story progresses it becomes easier and easier to see how they have been corrupted by some outside force. Examples: "renegade Guardsmen" and at the end the Baneblade that rolls over and has a "mutated soldier...[of] a very high rank" step out of it. Sorry if it didn't come clear enough. I'll fix that on the next draft! Thanks.
I wrote this for English Comp. The prompt was: Describe your travel from home to class and back. I live on campus, so I needed to spread a two minute stroll into a five-hundred word essay. Here is the result. I separated the intro from the body, in case you want to skip it. I recommend reading it all, though, if you are interested. [release] “The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” – Eden Phillpotts Despite the vast knowledge we humans have accrued over our relatively short span of existence, there are aspects of our world yet uncharted, unobserved, and unquantified; truths exist that elude even our most capable minds. I am the basest of the plebian, and do not compare to the great thinkers of our day. I am not, however, naked. Nor do I lack devices of my own. Where my wits fail, where human understanding drags its feet! That is where imagination thrives. As my teacher, learned and honored, gazes at the stars asking “Why,” I stand at his shoulder, no more or less qualified than he, echoing “Why indeed.” The greatest purpose of the imagination is to generate thought by taking what’s commonplace, what’s mundane, and viewing it in a way that forces one to ask the question “Should I take my version of reality for granted?” [/release] [release] Several times a week, I travel the construed network of sidewalk from Cougar Village to the Roy G. Cullen building. I walked that same path this morning, between the same blue ponds, beside the same gray van, and beneath the same green trees… but no, something was different. Without breaking stride, I raised my eyes to the cool sea of foliage above. Gone. My familiar friends had vanished; the life and peace they offered fled shortly after. No longer were there branches above me, sprawling and verdant. Instead were long, armored, slender claws colliding in a skirmish, blocking out the sunlight with their violent efforts. They arched overhead, engaging with each other, terminating short of their apparent goal. For several seconds I remained focused on the conflict separating my gray world from the royal canopy supporting the sun. Lowering my eyes and slowing my pace, I traced the appalling tentacles past twist and turn, over blemish and scar, until my gaze met the entity from which spread the destructive appendages. Monolithic, indestructible fiends! A Giant’s Dance of living pillars that towered above encroached on the path. These creatures of vice appeared to take no notice of me, enthralled in their own war as they were. Their ends were clear: chaos and ruin. They reached out and struck anything within their reach. Lamps, structures, nothing that crossed the monsters’ planes were left unharassed. Intrigued though I was with the creatures, my eyes broke from their ancient masses, and fluttered down to their source. Titan and earth met, menacing ripples emanating from the source of contact. No, not ripples. Dark-clad tendrils spreading in all directions. They started above ground, but soon submerged to avoid detection. Though I could no longer see the hidden tendrils, I knew the violence in heaven was mirrored in hell. With a final push, I cleared Cullen’s doors, and walked to class. I was late, the door was closed and the lecture had started. This scenario I was quite familiar with. Fifty minutes later I found myself through the door, across the threshold, and with palpable anticipation I surveyed the path. The creatures were… gone. Vanished as quickly as they appeared. The distance between Cullen and my target melted away, but I still couldn’t see the monsters. I decided they were truly gone, and everything was as it had been. Even the trees had returned. I continued toward my destination, minding the time and admiring the trees. [/release]
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.