Slender Man V5 - "OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" Edition

[[Slender Man]]

[Quote=Totheark]maɪnəs sɛntrɔɪd[/quote]

Inverted, it says "pictrues seview"

When said out loud, it sounds like "Pictures of you"

[ifauxv2]

They really got good at making these, holy crap.

[editline]8th July 2011[/editline]

[QUOTE='[Slender Man];30981173']Inverted, it says "pictrues seview"

When said out loud, it sounds like "Pictures of you"[/QUOTE]
I see you also browse Unfiction. We don't know that that's actually it for sure.

[aliendrone123]

[QUOTE='[Slender Man];30981173']Inverted, it says "pictrues seview"

When said out loud, it sounds like "Pictures of you"[/QUOTE]

Yeah I thought I saw the word "Pictures" in that. Thanks for deciphering it.

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=ifauxv2;30981178]They really got good at making these, holy crap.

[editline]8th July 2011[/editline]

[b]I see you also browse Unfiction. We don't know that that's actually it for sure.[/b][/QUOTE]

I see everywhere.

But honestly, I just Googled it, so nobody needs to thank me. However, I don't get what else it could be. Pictures of You sounds reasonable, considering there are pictures of Tim in there.

On an unrelated note, I honestly wonder how they have they have time to make these. They are getting really good.

[aliendrone123]

-double post-

[Icebrigade]

[URL="http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/9412/pictruesseview.jpg"]PICTRUES SEVIEW[/URL]

On topic, I stopped watching the EveryManHybrid and Marble Hornets videos a while ago, Should I start watching them again or just- no why am I asking this you'll all just say yes, I'll start watching them right away.

[Swilly]

Well I didn't want to sleep anyway :v:

Uncharted 3 Beta.

[skynrdfan3]

i didnt know tim was a fan of the who

[bob1337]

[QUOTE=skynrdfan3;30983268]i didnt know tim was a fan of the who[/QUOTE]

...what?

[Duxfever]

The Who is a band.

[Swilly]

An awesome band :rock:

[[Slender Man]]

I wrote a horrible Slender Man Fan Fiction introduction. Tell me if you guys want me to finish it, and how I can improve it.

[b]Our little secret-----Introduction[/b]

[quote]The smooth, however sticky red liquid ran from his ears as he tried to make sense of where he was. A man of eighteen named Sinclair Heightman
was lying with his back propped by a thick, rough, tree that dug into long and deep cuts that trace the edges of his spine with finesse. The ground was wet, and
covered with brown leaves, although the trees were still covered, Allowing streaks of refreshing morning sun in to shine on the damp ground. His head was leaning
to the right, and his chest and lower half felt numb. Attempts to move brought him only to the ground on his face, which caked with dirt and infected. His vision
blurred and made sense of a of a light green oasis that was free of trees that brought visions of tall and morbid shadows. He knew this place. Although he couldn't
see it, it felt like it did ten years ago today. He crawled to the clearing, ruining his camo burlap and baggy hunting pants, which he wore over camo overalls. His jacket
was covered with dirt to the point that it was completely brown. His matted brown hair dripped sweat, and he was unsure why. He wiped the dirt from his peach fuzz
and moved forward. He could barely move, but he had a will. Eventually, his fingertip grace the smooth, but sharp grass at the edge of the clearing. Light green and
shining, this had been his favorite place growing up. Then he collapsed as a horrible thought entered his weak and distressed mind. One so twisted, His friend had no
choice but to knock him out before he fled. His old pal. It was His favorite place too. This was where he visited his best friend. His older brotherly figure. A father to him almost.

He felt himself tugged through the damp mess of leaves by something tight that wrapped around his entire numb body. Sinclair was dragged into the clearing. Another body was dragged out.[/quote]

This is my first time, and I fell like I did horrible at capturing the feel, although I don't know how to improve it. The story is that growing up, Sinclair had a childhood friend he visited in the clearing(Slender Man). After he has grown up and left Him, he wakes up by the clearing and is dragged to a hellish world of his 'imaginary' friend's 'secrets' (He killed and slaughtered children).

Now Sinclair wishes He was imaginary in the first place.

And yes I know the last line is edited from a book. I couldn't describe the scene in my head any other way.

[editline]l[/editline]

Fix'd thanks to Grim Joker.

[Grim Joker]

I like it, but I think you kind of overused the word 'He'. Use more variations in your pronouns, and try to be a little more imaginative with your word choice. For example: "The confused and bloody man was lying with his back propped up by a black and gnarled tree."

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;30984409]I like it, but I think you kind of overused the word 'He'. Use more variations in your pronouns, and try to be a little more imaginative with your word choice. For example: "The confused and bloody man was lying with his back propped up by a black and gnarled tree."[/QUOTE]

That makes sense why the sentences seemed bland. Thank you!

[Grim Joker]

[QUOTE='[Slender Man];30984432']That makes sense why the sentences seemed bland. Thank you![/QUOTE]
No problem, anything to help out a fellow writer. It's much improved now. It seems more like the ending to a story though. If I were you I'd add a lot of background. Make us worry about Sinclair. Add tension as he crawls out.

Think about it. Let's say Jay finds himself in a similar situation in MarbleHornets. We'd be on the edges of our seats, and once he got dragged back into the forest, our hearts would be racing. This is because we've grown attached to the character, and we're genuinely worried about whether or not he'll make it out alive.

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;30984801]No problem, anything to help out a fellow writer. It's much improved now. It seems more like the ending to a story though. If I were you I'd add a lot of background. Make us worry about Sinclair. Add tension as he crawls out.

Think about it. Let's say Jay finds himself in a similar situation in MarbleHornets. We'd be on the edges of our seats, and once he got dragged back into the forest, our hearts would be racing. This is because we've grown attached to the character, and we're genuinely worried about whether or not he'll make it out alive.[/QUOTE]

I was afraid that I took the development way too fast. I thought that it might strike that little upchuck feeling you get when his life pal returns to drag him to their childhood meeting place to show him hell. I'm afraid I need some tips on character development though. I don't think I could make Sinclair a character people grow attached to.

By the way, I don't think Jay is a character people are fond of. It's hard to love a deaf guy with poor judgment and a habit of making people piss rage. Also, should I include the style of small scenes taken from the point of veiw from followers of Slender Man (Messengers and Proxies) that reveal a little but present a new question? Then it will cut back to Sinclair. I'm thinking of doing this every other chapter.

[Grim Joker]

[QUOTE='[Slender Man];30984845']I was afraid that I took the development way too fast. I thought that it might strike that little upchuck feeling you get when his life pal returns to drag him to their childhood meeting place to show him hell. I'm afraid I need some tips on character development though. I don't think I could make Sinclair a character people grow attached to.

By the way, I don't think Jay is a character people are fond of. It's hard to love a deaf guy with poor judgment and a habit of making people piss rage.[/QUOTE]
To make Sinclair likeable, make him someone people can relate to. Take EverymanHYBRID for example. They're nerdy guys who play video games and internet memes, and they're the best of friends and have friendly and funny conversation even in dangerous situations. We love them for these defining traits. Noah from TribeTwelve is hard to like because he rarely interacts with anyone on-camera, and even when he does it's stiff and isn't friendly/casual at all. You just have to give your character traits that you find people generally identify with or like.

But we're familiar with him, and we know him, and he's been with us the whole ride. Even if he is an idiot, he's a loyal idiot who's stuck with it throughout everything. If he died and was replaced with a new character, we wouldn't give a shit about the new one.

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;30984933]But we're familiar with him, and we know him, and he's been with us the whole ride. Even if he is an idiot, he's a loyal idiot who's stuck with it throughout everything. If he died and was replaced with a new character, we wouldn't give a shit about the new one.[/QUOTE]

I see the point. It wouldn't be the same without him. I guess I want Jay around too, as much of a dingus he is. He's The dingus we've grown to love.

I'm writing Chapter One write now.

[Grim Joker]

[QUOTE='[Slender Man];30984962']I see the point. It wouldn't be the same without him. I guess I want Jay around too, as much of a dingus he is. He's The dingus we've grown to love.

I'm writing Chapter One write now.[/QUOTE]
I edited my post a bit to give you some tips on likeable characters, by the way.

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;30985009]I edited my post a bit to give you some tips on likeable characters, by the way.[/QUOTE]

I see now. Thanks for the advice. I'm not a very good writer. :downs:

[Grim Joker]

[QUOTE='[Slender Man];30985032']I see now. Thanks for the advice. I'm not a very good writer. :downs:[/QUOTE]
It's fine. Nobody is a good writer when they first start out. I remember some of my older writing, and man it was laughable.

Then again, my current writing is laughable.

I'm probably not a good example.

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;30985058]It's fine. Nobody is a good writer when they first start out. I remember some of my older writing, and man it was laughable.

Then again, my current writing is laughable.

I'm probably not a good example.[/QUOTE]

You've helped my so far. You have experience. Better than me.

I hope to include all the old stuff I used to think about when I tried writing a blog. That didn't turn out well.

[AutomataReturns]

New MarbleHornets tweet:

[QUOTE]Those videos are so inconsistent. It's like they're being made by different people. No way I can prove that, though.[/QUOTE]

[NorthernGate]

Pretty much confirming that TTA is one person with MPD or several people on one account. :iiam:

[xuafi]

It also confirms that TTA is fucking terrifying.

[[Slender Man]]

Does anyone ever visit the [url=http://slendernation.forumotion.com/forum]The SlenderNation Forums?[/url]

Pretty decent site.

[Grim Joker]

[QUOTE='[Slender Man];30995905']Does anyone ever visit the [URL="http://slendernation.forumotion.com/forum"]The SlenderNation Forums?[/URL]

Pretty decent site.[/QUOTE]
Yeah... I dunno. They have this big rivalry with Unfiction, and are complete elitists about being part of the SlenderNation forums. One time the admins were trying to do an ARG in which a proxy of Slender Man seized control of the forums and made them do puzzles and shit, but while Unfiction watched and tried to solve it, the members of SlenderNation freaked out and accused Unfiction of hacking their forum and wanted to raid them, etc. etc.

The site itself is fine, but the members are kind of bad. Not to mention that the guy who did JonClubs and started all that shit with EMH (accusing them of hating gay people just because Evan said 'Queer' and other things) kind of hurts it's reputation too.

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;30997228]Yeah... I dunno. They have this big rivalry with Unfiction, and are complete elitists about being part of the SlenderNation forums. One time the admins were trying to do an ARG in which a proxy of Slender Man seized control of the forums and made them do puzzles and shit, but while Unfiction watched and tried to solve it, the members of SlenderNation freaked out and accused Unfiction of hacking their forum and wanted to raid them, etc. etc.

The site itself is fine, but the members are kind of bad. Not to mention that the guy who did JonClubs and started all that shit with EMH (accusing them of hating gay people just because Evan said 'Queer' and other things) kind of hurts it's reputation too.[/QUOTE]

Wow. I had no idea. I try to stay away from Unfiction because I don't necessarily like the site.

I remember in that same admin's video updates, he mentioned about finding and reporting people messing with his ARG, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

[editline]l[/editline]

[b]OFF TOPIC SHIT[/b]
I just bought a camera the other day. They don't use tapes anymore. What the hell? Why are they so obsolete? I'm also sure this will make it difficult for future ARG creators. Have fun with flash drives.

[Grim Joker]

Unfiction is also full of elitists, and generally when they find new blogs or vlogs they tear it to shreds because it isn't as good as 'The Big Three', which is Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, and TribeTwelve. They're a little better, though, because if there's a puzzle in a series you can generally find the solution there. They're good at that.

[[Slender Man]]

[QUOTE=Grim Joker;30997491][b]Unfiction is also full of elitists, and generally when they find new blogs or vlogs they tear it to shreds because it isn't as good as 'The Big Three', which is Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, and TribeTwelve.[/b] They're a little better, though, because if there's a puzzle in a series you can generally find the solution there. They're good at that.[/QUOTE]

That's why I don't like Unfiction. But I must say, I have gotten solutions to many cryptic messages from our bud Totheark from them.