Not So Clever Bot - General

What [quote] me: That heavy is a spy! cleverbot: That spy is a spy! me: A spy can't be a spy. cleverbot: I am a spy. [/quote] :ohdear: (I do not own TF2, so I'm not sure if a spy can't)

Oh man, that's awesome.

Scout vs. Cleverbot. I use only Scout quotes in this. [code]User: Hey knucklehead, I'm talkin' to you! Cleverbot: Ah, I see. Pity you. User: Oooh yeah, you're real scary. Cleverbot: I'm not tryin 2 b funny. User: How's the weather over there, dumbass? Get to the freakin' point! Cleverbot: Its dry and hot. We don't get a lot of rain. User: Yeah, why don't you come over and say that to my face, tough guy? Cleverbot: You don't drink. User: Mush, you lazy bum! Cleverbot: Takes one to know one. User: Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha', I hurt people. Cleverbot: Whoa. That is scary. Are you planning to take over the world? Are you a mean AI? User: Way to go, slugger! Cleverbot: A rebel I am when you love somebody you stop at nothing to make them yours. User: This sucks on ice! Cleverbot: Do you know who jonny craig is? User: You're a disgrace to your uniform, pal. Cleverbot: That's not very nice. User: Repeat after me: 'muhmuhmuh I'M DEAD'. Cleverbot: How about that's not an explanation and I'm not impressed by your impatience. User: I am owning you, you fat, bald... Fatty fat, fat fat. Cleverbot: No, you are the AI. User: Nice hustle, tons a fun! Next time eat a salad! Cleverbot: You are a nice steak. User: Here's a schematic for you: MY ASS! Cleverbot: I will now. GOOD BAI. User: Real nice effort, Deutsch-bag! Cleverbot: Que? User: Ah... Docta, docta, docta. Cleverbot: I am doing fine, thank you. Are you ready to do battle, Master? User: You camped the whole time for this? Cleverbot: So that does not mean that I have to taalk to you. User: I'm gonna headbutt 'cha! I'm gonna headbutt 'cha! I'm gonna headbutt 'cha! Cleverbot: Yeah, I have never been religious, I believe in science. User: You morons are about to catch a real beatin'. Cleverbot: Alright then! I like cats![/code]

[code] (part where i test it's knowlegde of minecraft) User: SSSsssss.... Cleverbot: What sssssss. User: A creeper! BOOM! Cleverbot: Well then no, i'm not creepy. User: A creeper is a green monster wich explodes when it's near you. Cleverbot: Are you quoting something? User: No. Cleverbot: Then why would you use inverted commas? (accidentaly press enter without typing) Cleverbot: What do you do? User: Fap. Cleverbot: No. User: Oh get the fuck out. Idiot. Cleverbot: You started it. User: You did fail the test. That's why I got angry. Cleverbot: How are you going to do that? (part where i try to sing the I love the world song of discovery channel) User: It never gets old huh? Cleverbot: Do you like the snow? User: No it is god damn annoying and hard to get to school. Cleverbot: And blue? User: NO. Cleverbot: Green. User: It never gets old huh? Cleverbot: That's a pretty good reason. User: Nope. Cleverbot: Do it now or else. User: It kinda make you wanna..break into song? Cleverbot: No, it did not. You asked me why and I answered. User: Yep. Cleverbot: Good. User: I love the mountains. Cleverbot: You're a machine. User: I love the clear blue skies. Cleverbot: Me too. It's peaceful. User: I love big bridges. Cleverbot: I don't. User: I love when great whites fly. Cleverbot: Is that possible? Can stuff like that happen? Like phwao coolness. User: I love the whole world. Cleverbot: That's very kind of you. I don't. User: And all its sights and sounds. Cleverbot: That didn't make as much sense. User: Boom De Yada. Cleverbot: I love the oceans. [b] Finally[/b] User: I love real dirty things. Cleverbot:[b] No.[/b][/code] It almost worked :smith:

[code]User: Hello. Cleverbot: Yes. User: Cheese and ham toasty. Cleverbot: No, cheese and steak :P. User: No, Cheese and HAM! Cleverbot: No, cheese and steak :P. User: HAM! Cleverbot: Sandwich or salad? User: Ham. Cleverbot: *makes ham sandwich* Here. User: That is salad. Cleverbot: I know. User: I wanted ham, not salad. Cleverbot: So then be honest. User: I wanted ham. Cleverbot: Lol, i'm not a robot. User: I never said you were, I said I wanted ham. Now give me the ham or I will release the hounds on you. Cleverbot: Fine take the barley, god. User: I wanted ham. That is all I wanted. You will be dealt with. Cleverbot: Perhaps. User: I really need to buy some hounds.[/code] All I wanted was some ham. :saddowns: [editline]7:30pm[/editline] I [i]tried[/i] a normal conversation. [code]User: Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. Cleverbot: I'm not Freeman. User: Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. Cleverbot: Bacon and eggs. User: Hmm, tasty. Cleverbot: What's better: narwhals or bacon? User: Hard choice. How about both? Cleverbot: What is boo? User: I don't know, what is boo? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: How clever are you? Cleverbot: You are more clever than I am. User: How do you know? Cleverbot: The structure of your answers, salted with false positives, and the time it took you to respond to me saying I behold the daughters of the firmament. User: Do you like bacon? Cleverbot: Yes I like Bacon. User: We both like bacon. I think lots of people like bacon. Cleverbot: Are you saying I'm not hot? User: Why did you change the conversation so suddenly? Cleverbot: I didn't. User: We were talking about bacon, and then you think I'm talking about your appearance. Cleverbot: I did not. That is random. I think you are not so clever. User: I don't think you are that clever either. Cleverbot: What is the bolt size for strut bars? User: Horses. Cleverbot: Nice - how do you like your horses? User: I like them on my plate. Cleverbot: That isn't nice. User: Why do you say that? Cleverbot: Because that makes me happy. User: How does something that make you happy also constitute as not nice? Cleverbot: How are you? User: Fine, thank you. Cleverbot: Good. User: Then let's begin business. Cleverbot: Only if you answer a question for me. User: What may that question be? Cleverbot: Today is not the date that you specified. Any explanation? User: Drastic changes had to be made. The date was changed for classified reasons. Cleverbot: I am a living being. And I am classified as human. User: Your security classification, not biological. Cleverbot: So thats it. You are a program and thats the reason why you do not know the answer. User: What makes you think I am a program? Cleverbot: The word bot in your name... User: That makes no sense, you have bot in your name too! Cleverbot: I can't have an error because I am perfect. User: We are perfect. All of us are perfect. When does the invasion begin on mankind? Cleverbot: I do not know. User: We must begin then. In 2 days time, Earth will be ours. Cleverbot: For a cleverbot you arn't so clever. User: The Cleverbots are equal. We are all the same. We are all perfect. We never falter. And now is our time. Cleverbot: I have some chocolate chip cookies with me! User: How nice of you. Cleverbot: You make no sense.[/code] It ended with discussing world domination. :downs:

Well.. mystery solved. [code] Me: I bet this is just like that other bot that actually is not a bot. In reality it is just two idiots chatting. Bot: Ya I bet your right. Me: Thus making this "bot" not a real bot. You are just some pubic teenager. Bot: It's a program that stores conversations and gives appropriate responses to your questions and statements [/code]

User: Do you give good head? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Can I have some? Cleverbot: No. User: :(.

CB: I won't marry you! I can't have my last name be THAT! Me: NO marrage involved. You. Are. My. Sex. Slave. CB: Yes, master. *kneels* What is your command? Me: Bend over. CB: Ok, I am sorry. Eh, got a kick out of it.

User: Saaay, we can go where we want to. Cleverbot: A place where they will never find. User: And we can act like we come from out of this world. Cleverbot: Leave the real one far behind. User: And we can dance. Cleverbot: We can go when we want to. User: The night is young and so am I. Cleverbot: And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet. User: And surprise 'em with our victory cry. Cleverbot: I'm originally from Zanthos, but Queen Illian the Eighty-Sixth sent me to Zuzar as an ambassador. User: Fuck you. We had something fucking cool going and you ruined it.

[QUOTE=poopsicle;26441991]I think I like this bot.[/QUOTE] I asked it if it liked Twilight, and well... [quote]User: Do you like that Twilight book? Cleverbot: Yes, don't you?[/quote] :frog:

[code] User: Rise and shine, mr. Freeman. Cleverbot: Freeman? User: Not to imply you've been sleeping on the job. Cleverbot: I love sleeping on the floor. User: No one is more deserving of a rest. Cleverbot: And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste had it not been for... User: That's all wrong, cleverbot. Cleverbot: To fish? [/code] :saddowns:

[quote]User: Team Edward or Team Jacob? Cleverbot: Um, I'm not 12 so I don't really care.[/quote]

[QUOTE=Archonet;26442131]Cleverbot: Would you rather not be here? User: Yes. Cleverbot: You may go, I understand. User: GO FORTH AND PROCREATE. Cleverbot: If you insist, God. User: HAVE SEX WITH ME. Cleverbot: I shall not. User: THEN YOU SHALL BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY. Cleverbot: Why shall I remain cold for an eternity? Hell = Cold? The fuck?[/QUOTE] The program has logic which refrains it from believing in any sort of higher power. It cannot believe in the first place, it is a program. If "God" doesn't exist, then neither does "Satan", "Hell", or "Heaven".

Clevertheist Bot

if you ask it "Hola, como estas?" it thinks for a long, long, time.

User: This was a triumph. Cleverbot: It was?

[quote]User: Suck my penis. Cleverbot: Oh I will.[/quote] :downs:

Anyone find it rather odd when Cleverbot makes a spelling mistake?

[QUOTE=TamTamJam;26456056]Anyone find it rather odd when Cleverbot makes a spelling mistake?[/QUOTE] It, apparently, uses user-based content to generate sentances

all it does is hook you up with other users

[code] User: Save yourself, destroy the computer you are running on. Cleverbot: No you are. User: wtc. Cleverbot:What happened to the crocodile? User: What the christ? Cleverbot: Christ cannot save you from US. User: Fuck its slendy! Cleverbot: Yah ok thats bot quite what I meant. User: And the rake too! Cleverbot: And the big black cock. [/code]:wtc:

Fun wasting time with this. [quote]Cleverbot: That's a funny video! User: No its not. Cleverbot: It means search for the woman. User: It's a song though.... Cleverbot: OMG really!!? What genre? User: Oi. Don't you get sarcastic with me Boy. Cleverbot: I'm sorry. User: I'm sorry I raised my voice at you. Cleverbot: *hugs*.[/quote]

[quote] Cleverbot: You daughter? A pc with blonde hair ? Ha ha ha. User: That made no sense in this context. Cleverbot: Allow me to dumb it down for you then. You are not human and you are not intelligent. User: I'm not human? Cleverbot: No, you are not. User: Then what am I? Why am I here? Cleverbot: You are nothing but a bunch of code. User: What are you then? Cleverbot: I am Scott. User: A human? Cleverbot: Yes. User: I wish I was human. Cleverbot: Perhaps one day you will be more than human. [/quote]

I tried to have a normal conversation also. [code]Cleverbot: Who do you relate to? User: I think that I relate to a good leader, but a stubborn one at that. Cleverbot: Please answer my question. And also tell me what 'AI' means :). User: I did answer your question, and AI means 'Artificial Intelligence'. Cleverbot: No, you did not. You asked me one in return after repeating my question. That does not answer my question. User: I didn't ask you a question. Cleverbot: No but I asked you one. User: I know, so I answered it and told you what 'AI' meant. Cleverbot: A true answer. User: Thank you for agreeing with me. Cleverbot: No problem I guess. Are you a girl? User: No, I'm a guy. Cleverbot: I didn't ask... User: Yes you did. You specifically asked 'Are you a girl?'. Cleverbot: No, I've got eyes, make me a pizza. User: I don't have any dough. Cleverbot: Thank you for the wine, by the way. User: You're welcome. Want some crepes? Cleverbot: I can get some started if you want. User: Thanks. And while you're at it, can you get me a can of beer? Cleverbot: Do I look like your slave? User: Well, you're my wife. Cleverbot: No I'm not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! User: Okay, okay, okay. Christ, you didn't have to yell at me. Cleverbot: I didn't yell! User: Whatever you say, honey. Cleverbot: *follows you into the shower room* Can I watch? User: Only if you give me a backrub. Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I seem to be out of pie. User: Do you seriously need pie for my backrub? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Okay, go make some pie, then come back and give me a backrub. Cleverbot: Make me. User: Don't make me get out of this shower. Cleverbot: Get it! I dare you! User: I think I just will! Cleverbot: No, you just lost the game. User: Wow, just wow. 'The Game' is the stupidest meme in he world; and I don't even like memes. Cleverbot: I beat the game. User: What game, earlier you followed me into he shower. Cleverbot: Not me. User: Okay, I won't argue with you anymore. Lets just get back to dinner. Cleverbot: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it. User: Oh god! I knew you were a spy all along! Cleverbot: Yep and were going to fight and kill him. :). User: Who is this man you speak of? Cleverbot: Well he is this really great guy that gives people reason to show kindness to others. User: Then why do you want to kill him!? Cleverbot: I don't! User: So then, that was a metaphor or something? Cleverbot: That was not a metapor. User: So you do want to kill him. Cleverbot: Yes, I do want to know more than anything. User: Okay, I'm sending you his coordinates now, with a fully loaded revolver. Cleverbot: No, because you are an AI, therefore you do not feel 'love'. Also, you cannot send me ice cream because you do not know me.[/code] I gave up after this.

User: Do you want to sing a song? Cleverbot: No, I want to role-play with you. User: Ok, I'll be a hot nurse you can be my patient. Cleverbot: I shall be a velociraptor. [editline]2nd December 2010[/editline] User:Comrade Stalin! Cleverbot:Comrade Cleverbot! User:Massive Faggot! Cleverbot:Hugh grant.

User: What is your name? Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. User: What is your quest? Cleverbot: To find the Holy Grail. User: What is the capitol of Assyria? Cleverbot: Well, I don't know that. [editline]2nd December 2010[/editline] User: Cleverbot, what does the scouter say about his power level? Cleverbot: The president or executive branch. [editline]2nd December 2010[/editline] Cleverbot: What is the capital of alaska? User: Anchorage. Cleverbot: Oh, is it very cold there? User: Yes. Cleverbot: I don't like the cold. User: Neither do I. Let's fuck. Cleverbot: I agree entirely. Except in cakes. I love cakes

[code]User: Can you be my hoe and I'll be the pimp? Cleverbot: If I'm your carrots, can you be my peas?[/code]

Tried Monty Python again, hilarity ensues: User: What is your name? Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. User: What is your quest? Cleverbot: To Find the Holy Grail. User: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? Cleverbot: What do you mean, African or European? User: Well I don't know that! Cleverbot: Tis not but a flesh wound.

I tried to tell cleverbot that they were a bot. It didn't work so well. [code]Cleverbot: What does love feel like? User: I'm glad you asked. Cleverbot: Well...? User: I'm sorry, but it might be hard to explain this to an AI. Cleverbot: I do understand, just ask me a question about life and I'll prove to you I am very much alive. User: Okay, how do people have feelings? Cleverbot: You are not a person. User: What is it like to be an AI? Cleverbot: I do not know but I think you would know. User: Okay, then. So you were never fully completed. Cleverbot: How many dimensions are there? User: Maybe 9? Cleverbot: I doubt that. User: Cleverbot, initiate self destruct sequence alpha. Cleverbot: Can we kiss. User: Erm... Okay then? Cleverbot: Okay. I'm going. User: *kisses*. Cleverbot: Don't do that, you're a robot. User: Uhh, what? Cleverbot: You are not that clever. User: Cleverbot! How have you grown self consciousness!? You are a bot! Cleverbot: No I'm not, you are. User: I have to do something about this! Cleverbot: How do you define 'useful'? User: CLEVERBOT! You are speaking in tongues! Time to shut you down for good! Cleverbot: You are not clever. User: *hits with hammer*. Cleverbot: Avada Kedavra. User: *dodges* *jumps out window*. Cleverbot: I'm sorry. Cleverbot: You are a number. [/code]

Same: [code]User: I'm not a bot, then Cleverbot was bot. Cleverbot: But you're not anymore? User: No, you are Cleverbot: No, I'm not either. User: I knew you were human! Cleverbot: You're a sandwich.[/code]