Creative Work That Doesn't Deserve A Thread V6 <3v3ryb0dy Hypocrite Critiques Edition> - General

[IMG]http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/310/ainttoodamnbookoo.png[/IMG] The pot belly made him look pregnant. I want to give him more equipment/clothing but I don't know what.

You could try clothing made out of feathers and leaves. I only say this because your guy reminds me of Tak and the power of Juju, and the villagers in that game had clothes mainly made out of wood, leaves and feathers.

[QUOTE=Satyria;28784314]I made a background featuring a ladyfriends ass. I'm very fond of her ass, so it's sort of a tribute about it. Thumbnail: [img_thumb]http://f.braxupload.se/c8wwui.png[/img_thumb] 1920*1080 format.[/QUOTE] I would like to see said lady friend's face

[QUOTE=Ehanced_AI;28795703]You could try clothing made out of feathers and leaves. I only say this because your guy reminds me of Tak and the power of Juju, and the villagers in that game had clothes mainly made out of wood, leaves and feathers.[/QUOTE] You're right, all the illustrations I've seen show Aztecs/Mayans wearing a lot of feather lined materials. I might give it a try.

[QUOTE=nox;28795871]You're right, all the illustrations I've seen show Aztecs/Mayans wearing a lot of feather lined materials. I might give it a try.[/QUOTE] also, give him a tattoo on his right shoulder because it's a bit plain

I am thinking of writing a short story with a focus on character development through writing style. Here's a paragraph that I wrote. [quote]I couldn’t possibly describe my town; it’s the same as all other towns, so describing any little centimeter of it would be redundant; but with, from what I remember, though it’s been a while, and I haven’t really ever focused on the actual aesthetic of the town, the little corner thrift shops that are running in to the ground and traditions of the town so much that they’re emblazoned in to the photo albums of the civilians, stuck in time with sepia-tone fading, dark spots of stained ink and the wrinkling age of plastic, scrunching in to a ball slowly, eventually crumbling in to nothing but a tiny, useless ball, with the town meat shops and produce shops a landmark in the town, some of the few businesses open that haven’t been defeated by wide open chain stores, greatly diminishing need and general want for them, and all these staples of my town, and everyone’s town, will forever burden them; and anything that doesn’t look like these stores will never be introduced to the environment, whilst the flora shop owned by Ruth Ethel, an elderly woman who tries her hardest to smile with in her tight skin drawn back with a permanent scowl, and her shop, even in the abundance of roses, lilies, lilacs, petunias, and daisies releasing their odor, this abundance of perfumes – most of which range from the nineteen sixties – always was the first thing to enter your head, will thrive way beyond her passing, her ancestors passing, and even the buildings demolishing. [/quote] Does it sound good, and should I continue?

[QUOTE=john_pelphre;28796303]I am thinking of writing a short story with a focus on character development through writing style. Here's a paragraph that I wrote. Does it sound good, and should I continue?[/QUOTE] Is it suppose to be one giant sentence?

[QUOTE=Mr_Razzums;28796318]Is it suppose to be one giant sentence?[/QUOTE] Yeah, the character is supposed to complex thought, yet, with contrasting ideas, which I show through the long sentences, and the paradoxical opinions. This person is supposed to be arrogant, immature, but intelligent.

Makes it hard to read.

That's kind of a happy side effect. I plan on having another character with short, simple sentences, too sustain a fast pace, and anther whose narrative is in poetic form with many errors, in order to show a corrupted mind.

Well that's creative. reminds me of mspaint adventures though.

I was thinking more of Faulkner, but I guess that works. [editline]25th March 2011[/editline] So it was a confusing read, but did it sound educated?

[QUOTE=Maya2008;28794279]I'm feeling orangish yellow.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Rusty100;28795094]something like this maybe [img_thumb]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1482927/four%20lions%20edited.png[/img_thumb] [editline]25th March 2011[/editline] maybe with a low opacity grunge texture over the font [editline]25th March 2011[/editline] even a red background could look nice [img_thumb]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1482927/four%20lions%20red.png[/img_thumb][/QUOTE] Thanks for the suggestions, I really like that yellow font. I'll go fix the brain and stuff and I'll post the result later.

Also I don't like the sharp corners on the neck.

this my firends is why you should NEVER use filter effects [media]http://cl.ly/0m2H453f1m3W3Y1U3A1D/Screen_shot_2011-03-25_at_9.06.40_PM.png[/media]

ok

[QUOTE=john_pelphre;28796303]I am thinking of writing a short story with a focus on character development through writing style. Here's a paragraph that I wrote. [/QUOTE] That was terrible. You have mistakes all over the place which make it hard to read. Doesn't come off as anything more than sloppy writing rather than a character having complex and contrasting thoughts. Usually characters are revealed in a story through the things they do and say, not [i]how[/i] they say them. Sure some writers throw in a few stereotypes here and there to make it more obvious if let's say your character is new to a part of town or is from a foreign country, etc. But I have never seen it done to your extent.

version 2 [img]http://i.imgur.com/gL5oe.jpg[/img] changed the colors added that ~grunge~ added a smudge behind the credits added some color to the dude (y/n?) fixed the sharp neck drawing a brain is hard as fuck though it looks so messy

It looks good but I dislike the outline of the person, it looks all wrong. The head is weirdly shaped and their neck looks quite long.

[QUOTE=strider;28799670]version 2 [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/gL5oe.jpg[/img_thumb] changed the colors added that ~grunge~ added a smudge behind the credits added some color to the dude (y/n?) fixed the sharp neck drawing a brain is hard as fuck though it looks so messy[/QUOTE] Really hating the gradient. Ruins the whole purpose of having drawn him in that way, especially with such a thick nice line. And the heart-brain takes too much space as well if you ask me. It should be something in the middle of a real brain's size and what you have now methinks. Makes it cleaner and makes more sense since the brain doesn't go down in your mouth. [editline]25th March 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=strider;28799670]version 2 [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/gL5oe.jpg[/img_thumb] changed the colors added that ~grunge~ added a smudge behind the credits added some color to the dude (y/n?) fixed the sharp neck drawing a brain is hard as fuck though it looks so messy[/QUOTE] Really hating the gradient. Ruins the whole purpose of having drawn him in that way, especially with such a thick nice line. And the heart-brain takes too much space as well if you ask me. It should be something in the middle of a real brain's size and what you have now methinks. Makes it cleaner and makes more sense since the brain doesn't go down in your mouth.

[QUOTE=strider;28799670]version 2 [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/gL5oe.jpg[/img_thumb] changed the colors added that ~grunge~ added a smudge behind the credits added some color to the dude (y/n?) fixed the sharp neck drawing a brain is hard as fuck though it looks so messy[/QUOTE] the text grunge feels too even and forced maybe try to make it seem a little more random and coincidental [editline]26th March 2011[/editline] i know mine felt that way too, but i was on my laptop and didnt have my grunge brushes + did it during class as it was just a mockup for u 2 get ideas

dgg, Ilike your rats :D.

[QUOTE=Orckrast;28800657]dgg, Ilike your rats :D.[/QUOTE] That's probably because we have so much in common with eachother. (rats and I)

Doodle Dump: [media]http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/6238/dscf0093e.jpg[/media] [img_thumb]http://img130.imageshack.us/img130/4035/dscf0096p.jpg[/img_thumb] [img_thumb]http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/9461/dscf0095e.jpg[/img_thumb] [media]http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/6696/dscf0105z.jpg[/media] [media]http://img813.imageshack.us/img813/2431/dscf0108.jpg[/media] [media]http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/6884/dscf0094l.jpg[/media] [media]http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/381/dscf0103.jpg[/media] Some doodles I made in Maths class. not much, really: [media]http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/5889/dscf0101hq.jpg [url]http://img576.imageshack.us/img576/4360/dscf0102j.jpg[/url] [url]http://img847.imageshack.us/img847/1188/dscf0098e.jpg[/url] [url]http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/5187/dscf0100s.jpg[/url][/media] Not really a doodle: [media]http://img860.imageshack.us/img860/8449/dscf0107.jpg[/media] [media]http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/1422/dscf0104a.jpg[/media] [media]http://img644.imageshack.us/img644/2927/dscf0106.jpg[/media]

[QUOTE=Heroms;28799656]That was terrible. You have mistakes all over the place which make it hard to read. Doesn't come off as anything more than sloppy writing rather than a character having complex and contrasting thoughts. Usually characters are revealed in a story through the things they do and say, not [i]how[/i] they say them. Sure some writers throw in a few stereotypes here and there to make it more obvious if let's say your character is new to a part of town or is from a foreign country, etc. But I have never seen it done to your extent.[/QUOTE] I think the point that's supposed to be confusing. If someone was writing a message down, most likely they'd have some mistakes. In thought, they ideas are strewn together very sporadically. I guess what I did was really shitty, I'll rewrite it then post it again.

[QUOTE=Rusty100;28800425]the text grunge feels too even and forced maybe try to make it seem a little more random and coincidental [editline]26th March 2011[/editline] i know mine felt that way too, but i was on my laptop and didnt have my grunge brushes + did it during class as it was just a mockup for u 2 get ideas[/QUOTE] I see what you mean. [QUOTE=dgg;28800150]Really hating the gradient. Ruins the whole purpose of having drawn him in that way, especially with such a thick nice line. And the heart-brain takes too much space as well if you ask me. It should be something in the middle of a real brain's size and what you have now methinks. Makes it cleaner and makes more sense since the brain doesn't go down in your mouth. [/QUOTE] Wasn't sure about the gradient either. I see what you mean with the 'large' heart and brain but it's supposed to be a kind of diagram or something so I was trying to get the point across instead of getting good proportions. By the way did anyone get the reference I'm trying to illustrate here.

yeah i did i have seen the film THANKS [editline]26th March 2011[/editline] related, olly moss' poster for it owns [img_thumb]http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/four_lions_mondo_poster_01.jpg[/img_thumb]

it does, it's kinda like my first idea for the poster but ofCOuRse it was done already [editline]25th March 2011[/editline] or otherwise around, my idea was like that poster before i had seen it

[img]http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/4307/waiter.png[/img] More doodling. Starting to get the hang of color more. Sort of. Fucking technology.

[QUOTE=Mr. Scorpio;28807112][img_thumb]http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/4307/waiter.png[/img_thumb] More doodling. Starting to get the hang of color more. Sort of. Fucking technology.[/QUOTE] [quote=Detlef from some time in the near future]Use brushes with 100% opacity[/quote] I have invented a time machine.