Creative Work That Doesn't Deserve A Thread V6 <3v3ryb0dy Hypocrite Critiques Edition> - General

[QUOTE=Detlef;27572837]well, today I tried to do concept design. Wanted to create a stealth armor or something. Didn't turn out too good but I was never really good at drawing armors. Or create them [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/GSwnV.png[/img_thumb][/QUOTE] It has a nice style but it's somewhat flat. I guess you know that though. The armour design is bearable it's just... what did you make this for? Personal enjoyment? Portfolio? If you want to stand out you need to do something far less generic.

[QUOTE=cheesecurls;27562572][img_thumb]http://filesmelt.com/dl/Dinoguy.jpg[/img_thumb] C&C... this is not supposed to make sense[/QUOTE] Holy shit, that giraffe is driving a boat. Awesome. I love giraffes.

Drew a bike today, but I forgot what they looked like. [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/5v3xwk.jpg[/img] :saddowns:

Sorry for the stupid question, but is this thread only for artwork? Are literary projects accepted too?

of course [editline]22nd January 2011[/editline] They are accepted.

[URL=http://img31.imageshack.us/i/artattackdotjaypeg.jpg/][IMG]http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/543/artattackdotjaypeg.jpg[/IMG][/URL] i have creatd the most significatnt ART in histrtoy

I think I agree.

[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;27574330]It has a nice style but it's somewhat flat. I guess you know that though. The armour design is bearable it's just... what did you make this for? Personal enjoyment? Portfolio? If you want to stand out you need to do something far less generic.[/QUOTE] Practice.

[QUOTE=Detlef;27572837]well, today I tried to do concept design. Wanted to create a stealth armor or something. Didn't turn out too good but I was never really good at drawing armors. Or create them [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/GSwnV.png[/img_thumb][/QUOTE] Positioning of his left arm would mean his right arm is naturally shorter. Unless it's bending in the same direction, then it just needs depth. Shade the pit a little.

[QUOTE=Viper202;27583955]Positioning of his left arm would mean his right arm is naturally shorter. Unless it's bending in the same direction, then it just needs depth. Shade the pit a little.[/QUOTE] Shit I see it now. But I never go back and correct my old drawings I just move on and take the knowledge with me

That arm looks a little bit weird, but it's cool anyways.

[QUOTE=Detlef;27584271]Shit I see it now. But I never go back and correct my old drawings I just move on and take the knowledge with me[/QUOTE] My only complaint bout your style is that you almost always draw the same physical form with all your characters. You seem to grasp anatomy, but you only draw slim people, try drawing a fat guy/ Average Joe for a change. [editline]22nd January 2011[/editline] or maybe an extremely skinny person.

[QUOTE=red_pharoah;27584377]My only complaint bout your style is that you almost always draw the same physical form with all your characters. You seem to grasp anatomy, but you only draw slim people, try drawing a fat guy/ Average Joe for a change. [editline]22nd January 2011[/editline] or maybe an extremely skinny person.[/QUOTE] I like drawing slim people. But that's mostly for my personal art. When I do studies I use realistic refs. [editline]22nd January 2011[/editline] And it was a stealth armor design, the person wearing it would probably be ottermode

I wasn't talking about this particular image, and I like drawing slim people, too. But that's no reason why I shouldn't Draw different physical forms.

[QUOTE=red_pharoah;27584565]I wasn't talking about this particular image, and I like drawing slim people, too. But that's no reason why I shouldn't Draw different physical forms.[/QUOTE] okay

Can anyone give me critique on a poem I wrote? So far, all I've gotten is that I should merge the lines with only one word into the others. I was trying to set a certain rhythm by doing that, but if you guys agree, then I'll change it. Any other suggestions are accepted as well, of course. Rest a While [code] Blurs of color, blinding lights, whizzing past you, out of sight. The shouts and laughter, of people near, happy, sad, and frightened all. You stumble, jerk, and shake your head, try to drown them out instead. You shut your eyes, block out the noise, and drift into, that quiet place. You're gently floating, sinking, into water, to the ground. It's calmer here, and peaceful, too. You come here to relax, and, as you do, you see, you feel, you taste, a thought drip by. And so you stay down here, though wide awake, at once so far, and yet so near, to that other world, once held so dear. Where lights will flash, and things will zoom, and stay down here, To sleep, To sleep. [/code]

[QUOTE=Achilles123;27585237]Can anyone give me critique on a poem I wrote? So far, all I've gotten is that I should merge the lines with only one word into the others. I was trying to set a certain rhythm by doing that, but if you guys agree, then I'll change it. Any other suggestions are accepted as well, of course. Rest a While [code] Blurs of color, blinding lights, whizzing past you, out of sight. The shouts and laughter, of people near, happy, sad, and frightened all. You stumble, jerk, and shake your head, try to drown them out instead. You shut your eyes, block out the noise, and drift into, that quiet place. You're gently floating, sinking, into water, to the ground. It's calmer here, and peaceful, too. You come here to relax, and, as you do, you see, you feel, you taste, a thought drip by. And so you stay down here, though wide awake, at once so far, and yet so near, to that other world, once held so dear. Where lights will flash, and things will zoom, and stay down here, To sleep, To sleep. [/code][/QUOTE] Personally, if this were my poem, almost every 'you' would be gone. I think having "you do something, you do something else" detracts from the feel of the poem. This is what I would do: [release] Blurs of color, blinding lights, whizzing past, out of sight. The shouts and laughter, of people near, happy, sad, and frightened all. Stumble, jerk, and shake your head, try to drown them out instead. Shut your eyes, block out the noise, and drift into, that quiet place. Gently floating, sinking, into water, to the ground. It's calmer here, and peaceful, too. Come here to relax, and, as you do, See, Feel, Taste, a thought drip by. So stay down here, though wide awake, at once so far, and yet so near, to that other world, once held so dear. Where lights will flash, and things will zoom, and stay down here, To sleep, To sleep. [/release] Also, generally the first letter of every line is capitalized in poetry, but that's just grammatical. I like it very much though, just that little preference.

Thanks! I'd forgotten about the capitalization thing, my mistake. Also, after reading over your suggestions, I agree with them up to "Come here to relax". It seems better to say "You come here to relax, and, as you do," than "Come here to relax, and, as you do,". That's just me though, and I'm kind of new at this. Do you really think it'd be better without the "you" there?

[QUOTE=Achilles123;27588541]Thanks! I'd forgotten about the capitalization thing, my mistake. Also, after reading over your suggestions, I agree with them up to "Come here to relax". It seems better to say "You come here to relax, and, as you do," than "Come here to relax, and, as you do,". That's just me though, and I'm kind of new at this. Do you really think it'd be better without the "you" there?[/QUOTE] That's what I personally would do. I don't claim to be a prodigy at poetry, but 'you' has always seemed rather bulky to me, and creates bumps in the flow. And how I read your poem, it was supposed to flow very well and those 'yous' took away from that."You come here to relax" and "Come here to relax" are very similar, the first one IMO has too many syllables for one line, compared to the rest of the lines in the stanza. If you could break up that line, perhaps you can keep that You. You know what I mean?

[QUOTE=WastedJamacan;27589756]That's what I personally would do. I don't claim to be a prodigy at poetry, but 'you' has always seemed rather bulky to me, and creates bumps in the flow. And how I read your poem, it was supposed to flow very well and those 'yous' took away from that."You come here to relax" and "Come here to relax" are very similar, the first one IMO has too many syllables for one line, compared to the rest of the lines in the stanza. If you could break up that line, perhaps you can keep that You. You know what I mean?[/QUOTE] Yeah, I see. I think you're right, thanks.

[img]http://www.filedump.net/dumped/rat1295737323.PNG[/img] squee squee i am rat monster

Looks like it needs to eat more

has lot more depth, it really pops out.

[QUOTE=3v3ryb0dy;27593827]has lot more depth, it really pops out.[/QUOTE] did you actually make a 100% positive piece of feedback?

Oh shit the world is coming to an end.

[img]http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/7858/ajct.jpg[/img] Attempted to Digipaint; definitely want to work on getting better at it.

those are some frightening skintones

[QUOTE=kraq4ttaq;27594846][img_thumb]http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/7858/ajct.jpg[/img_thumb] Attempted to Digipaint; definitely want to work on getting better at it.[/QUOTE] You use waaay too much opacity on your brush, try to work with 100%

[QUOTE=St33m;27594035]did you actually make a 100% positive piece of feedback?[/QUOTE] I'm just too tired to write about all the flaws.

[QUOTE=kraq4ttaq;27594846][img_thumb]http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/7858/ajct.jpg[/img_thumb] Attempted to Digipaint; definitely want to work on getting better at it.[/QUOTE] Well, she certainly does have a bit of umm... Derp in her look :v: