• Unload your mind in this thread.
    492 replies, posted
Time heals all wounds
Or it makes them fester
Why the fuck is everyone in the government so stupid? Why are we not being managed and lead by the most intelligent of our species? What in the holy hell is wrong with everyone? I can't possibly be the only one who is *not* extremely bothered by this.
[QUOTE=yuki;36061795]Why the fuck is everyone in the government so stupid? Why are we not being managed and lead by the most intelligent of our species? What in the holy hell is wrong with everyone? I can't possibly be the only one who is *not* extremely bothered by this.[/QUOTE] Positions of power can be bought. It bugs me too.
so, i got to talk to her today all fucking day, still miss her, got high with her over the webcam :) love her.
I'm writing a shit load of raps and poetry. PM me for my facebook and you can see a lot of the stuff I post. Been clean off drugs for about 5 weeks but am now on Prozac. I've been having manic highs of lyrical institutions, aromatic therapy of the lungs to solve delusions. I make these fusions, put 2 and 2 together, makes 4. I write these rhymes and I know you want more. I keep the more personal stuff in a notebook I made last night, which I will post an excerpt from now in a bit. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] Here's some aesop rock to bide your time for time being. The time, my wounds they're healing. I have no feelings of remorse, I just wish I could go back, of course. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iujjGCoF4g[/media] [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] I'll post the excerpt later, I'm getting ideas. I pass through fears of the past events and understand I can't fix their fence, climbing over, falling off the cliffs of dover. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] [quote=My Facebook]Shine on you crazy diamond, I hope in darkness that you find them. Light the way to remove all fright, all doubt of mind is set aside. You helped through pain, now you watch me gain. This, done all on my own, you've seen me now, just how I've grown. I wondered why I never try but that is the past and fixing that is attempting a lie. Relief, release a heavy sigh. Phew, close one that was, lived my life on constant buzz. High times are fine but abuse is where I drew the line. Self medication is no satisfactory obligation. Put memories on repeat, think of how I felt defeat, play them back inside my head and think of how I could have got ahead. Tape recorded, extorted, exported my lines for a hit of the finest wine, living classy because I'm sassy. You stood in the crossfire, accused me a liar, thought I never felt fire, it's burning me up, just take a sip from my cup. I'm cryin' now at the thought of that flick "Up", following dreams, does he know what it means?[/quote] [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] [quote=More facebook]And just cause I love this song, here's another little rip from the long, long run of exciting, delighting and powerfully wonderful words of wisdom from these men, I wish I could kiss 'em. I may not swing that way to your dismay it's still okay, others are different, accept the facts, set fire to your act, you make me sick, a total dick. An absolute confusion is what fuels your delusions. Learn to live your own life, don't accept their blind advice, that's taking a roll of the dice. I'm not a gambler, I'm a bit of a shambler, take it slow, ride it out, I may scream and shout but at least I let it out! [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQWszrZHBPI[/media][/quote] [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] Took me a while, but realized that life is worth a smile.
This reminds me of group therapy in UBH (it's a pysch ward for people who are considered a danger to themselves/others. They do military to...err off track). It should help people to be able to open up like this. I went through a ton of shit freshman year because of a bad breakup which got me into drugs, drinking, cutting, and leading on anyone who would give me attention because i was trying to fill that void in me. I knew this girl, Rachel, who was my best friend and quickly i fell in love with her. With someone i couldn't ever have. I've tried killing myself once and another time i had the gun loaded and sitting next to me. I finally got to be with her just this past May. All i've really ever felt is pain. My dads an abusive asshole who isn't in my life right now because my mom called the police. He didn't get in trouble or anything but Mary (his crazy fucking fat bitch that he calls a wife) got all pissed off and basically wont let us have a good relationship. Everything i've done is because im self-destructive. I've been trying to get Rachel to try weed when it's just me and her (shes really skeptical about the whole thing and doesnt believe in it but she said she might). She loves me with everything, and i did love her with everything but i've started putting walls back up because of the deep emotional connection. i just..idk...i feel completley worthless with everything i do. Im some kind of fucking genuis. i can learn 3 weeks worth of information in one class peiod andusually the only reason i pass anything is cause i ace the tests. I can't stand to do work. I made A's all throughout i was young. Now i just dont see any point in anything i do. I'm a whizz with a computer and i do tons of graphic design and animation work thats what i wanna do when i grow up..but i never thought i'd live that long. Now with the UBH thing i got sent there by my mom cause i was having a bad day and we we're fighting and i told her "Why dont i just hang myself in the bathroom. Now my mom is pretty cool she used to do the whole punk rock thing and she's smoked whatever, but she took me out for Braums and the to UBH. Thats a 40 minute drive and idk why she was treating us to it. I got out after 5 days though. I was smarter than most the pyschiatrist there, but nonetheless i enjoyed the stay because i got to observe diffrent pyschological states of mind in other people. 3 weeks after i got out i broke up with Rachel because it felt like i couldn't make her happy and i had to give 200% at all times and i snapped. Four days later we got back together and began working things out. Now im feeling back to useless and im prolly gonna have to retake Spanish II and second semester Chemistry. Which is fucking stupid because that shit is easy. Now im trying to find a decent dealer and get back into weed because if im gonna be useless, why not enjoy my time? .wow sorry for the randomness in the story, it's just a lot of feeling came out all at once and it's hard to organize when that happens.. I think i hit the main points.. Anyways yeah
Using weed as an escape is ok sometimes but as an absolute solution, dude that's just a delusion. I lived and thrived off buying weed and smoking with friends, it was pretty bad. Spending hundreds of dollars every couple of weeks just on pot. If I could go back I'd tell myself, man, you'd better not. It seems you're pretty self aware of the situation and you feel a real sense of worry, which is good, it means you want to find a solution. You aren't in a hurry, from the sounds of it you're young, I am too (17) but life experience has taught me a load of wisdom and it feels like I'm on top of this earths kingdom. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] I've been through group therapy, mental treatment, currently on meds (prozac) and am turning my life back around. Got court tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. My charges were possession and paraphernalia, they didn't decide to tack on a DUI it looks like. Hopefully they don't waive me to adult court.
I know...the whole reason i got into drugs is because when i was high i would feel a sense of happiness when everything else was just dark and depressing. I'm 16 btw. Yeah lifes been fun.
Yep, been there done that. Life is shitty sometimes you need to know that this is fact. Feel good for hours then you wash yourself in self pity showers. I hope you're feelin' better soon and are able to function with or without being stoned. I'd love to go back to it now that I know of the moderation that I, personally, need to take in the drug but for others everyday use and happiness go hand in hand. Not with me it would seem. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] Since I'm postin raps may as well post better known ones, these guys got guns. Rattle off lines that spit like lead from the barrel of a makeshift automatic 30-06 [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0q3Ly6a6t0[/media]
Thank you. Idk another problem im having is because i'm a graphic designer and animator and i do amazing beatiful artwork on the computer, but we don't have internet anymore (got in trouble when i was younger) and my computer isn't working at the moment...its so bad ass i just need a little money to replace the motherboard. Really after i spent 800$ on something that i truly have a passion about...then it doesnt work, i really started to shut down because i have no real way to express myself. I can kinda draw but it's bleh. i can write poetry and books, but it's the visuals that i really pour my heart into and really try and its just not there. Fortunatley im in an academy in school that lets me work on 20inch macs everyday pretty much doing what i love. Only thing keepin me sane.
Perform self maintenance, ask yourself does this life make sense? Traveled far but walked through tar, slow moving, just grooving. The faster you wiggle the quicker that you see the kicker, the punchline of the end of your night out to dine. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] Use that passion, drive with it by your side, make it your side cart. Even if you can't show anyone just yet create a portfolio, stacking up accomplishments is what makes sense. Bottling failures is what caused killing more.
Alright now calm down Socrates. I think you should save up some money and fix your computer Killer-C. Don't let money stop ya
[QUOTE=SilverHammer;36067156]Alright now calm down Socrates. I think you should save up some money and fix your computer Killer-C. Don't let money stop ya[/QUOTE] Thank you, Socrates. And I actually am. I'll be getting above minimum wage because my moms friend has a cleaning business and she'll be paying my mom and I to work for her. :D so idk if this all works out right i should be on my way to getting my license and getting my life back on track..hopefully. If not meh of well. It's been a good run. :P
I have the wisdom of the elven, mystic and unwoven, I feel that now I can sit atop the throne of this here kingdom. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] I used to be the quiet one, then I never said a word. Now you can not shut me up, I'm chatterin' like a bird. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] I wrote a shit load while at work today. 6 little pages of lines [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] Put my name out in the game, I mean no shame, spread no blame, I am so tame. Take a little huffle puff, just tiny extra buff, don't act tough, you're out of luck. Oh no, I said too much, but you know it's never close to enough. I am just like a shootin' star, I know my life, I've traveled far but not off the earth, I talk of birth. I'm stronger than before, not physically but all mentally. My lyrics be ill, to be on paper and with no sign of taper. The more substance, the more I'm gonna run this. I love me some writin', incredibly therapeutic! [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] Jaws unlatched, brain relapse. Turned back like clockwork, this is how reality hurts. Manic sprees of wild glee and spacious excerpts of remembering how I used to be. I sit now, just wonder, if I listen closely can I hear the sound of thunder? A storm is booting, starting up, but my fear is not uprooting. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8dGTfT-RGM[/media] [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] The lyrical creative process, made in the name of mental reworking progress. Pass up the lame for a shot at fame. Get up in the mornin' and ask for the lions to get tame. These carnivores got game, slashing through rib cages for a taste of glory on these pages. Medicinal sand can taste so bland, being kicked from the ground up to their crowns. Grit through their teeth, they know I can't be beat. Beat down, slowed down, gone up town and bought what you got to head back down town. Here's what's goin' on the low down, I used to frown, now you're the clown, I'm laughing my ass off and I sit back and I cough, scoff. Climb up to your loft, you don't belong down here, I'm afraid that I fear. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] Writin' paragraphs to scratch out a few laughs, spin off these rhymes pretty fast. I love this ability, feel so giddy and free, got a new aspiration, multiple inspirations. Positive vibes, no good byes, I still kill the shit out of the flies. (Fuckers) Crack the bat over the plate, still figurin' out who I should hate. Myself or the pitcher for making Life a bitch, yes her.
Death Grips win
A tornado becomes a gentle breeze, only when temperatures cool
So, apparently some kind of sporting event is taking place. The echoes of people chanting "SWEDEN, SWEDEN" is roaming through the streets, with the disturbing manic depressive voices of sport commentators, obsessively committing verbal vomit from the technology of television placed in every home possible. I can't help but to contemplate, how the job description of sport commentating took its place of origin. Maybe once there was a man who found no other place for himself on earth, but to soon find his true calling revealed as an epiphany at a consultation with the local job finding service. - So what areas of expertise interests you? - Well, I like sport, and watching it on TV. - Have you considered taking up a sport and pursue an athletic career in such manner? - No way, I drink too much beer and I am way too lazy to involve myself in any such activities requiring extra biologic energy in the form of aerobic respiration and carbohydrate synthesis. - Then perhaps you can find an education to become an expert in the field of sport science? - Hell no, I hated school, establishing fundamental knowledge about things is what have brought me here in the first place. - Fine, then my future prospects of pursuance have changed, I quit, I suggest you take my job. - Not a chance, I resent the concept of exchanging information in a two-way communication basis with new people. Hang on, I think I have it. I will set up a camera in my basement with a TV behind me, basically broadcasting myself, on TV, watching TV with others, but I will obsessively narrate everything that happens on the screen, it's GENIUS. I have one simple desire for these semi-religious people, leave me the hell out of it.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;36091382]So, apparently some kind of sporting event is taking place. The echoes of people chanting "SWEDEN, SWEDEN" is roaming through the streets, with the disturbing manic depressive voices of sport commentators, obsessively committing verbal vomit from the technology of television placed in every home possible. I can't help but to contemplate, how the job description of sport commentating took its place of origin. Maybe once there was a man who found no other place for himself on earth, but to soon find his true calling revealed as an epiphany at a consultation with the local job finding service. - So what areas of expertise interests you? - Well, I like sport, and watching it on TV. - Have you considered taking up a sport and pursue an athletic career in such manner? - No way, I drink too much beer and I am way too lazy to involve myself in any such activities requiring extra biologic energy in the form of aerobic respiration and carbohydrate synthesis. - Then perhaps you can find an education to become an expert in the field of sport science? - Hell no, I hated school, establishing fundamental knowledge about things is what have brought me here in the first place. - Fine, then my future prospects of pursuance have changed, I quit, I suggest you take my job. - Not a chance, I resent the concept of exchanging information in a two-way communication basis with new people. Hang on, I think I have it. I will set up a camera in my basement with a TV behind me, basically broadcasting myself, on TV, watching TV with others, but I will obsessively narrate everything that happens on the screen, it's GENIUS. I have one simple desire for these semi-religious people, leave me the hell out of it.[/QUOTE] i'm glad we didn't scare you away, bro :) it's really funny for me to read your posts, but i sometimes understand jackshit of what you're trying to say. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] it might be because i'm drunk, but i don't really think so. when did you learn to speak english?
[QUOTE=/B/rother;36091419]i'm glad we didn't scare you away, bro :)[/QUOTE] Scare me away? The ancient gods of Greek mythology wouldn't be able to keep me from constructing semantically correct sentences, established on this virtual plane of linguistic preached forum promoting endeavor, as I would terminate Athena herself with my irrefutable conduct of the rhetorical vindication purposed quest of dictum, pursued from all the drugs I'm currently on. [QUOTE=/B/rother;36091419]when did you learn to speak english?[/QUOTE] Ambiguity, thy name is time. This journey of autodidactic behavior routed its path by definition of forward, possibly as I learned to read and found an English dictionary when I was about 4 years old. I found the variety of subjective inflicted beliefs and stories to be largely compelling, as they equal the value of zero.
Some guy I slightly trusted and my friend told me that he was trustworthy didn't get me my bud for $20, kind of pissed but don't know how to handle it.
Self pity and a defeatist attitude will hurt your progress alot more than ill health does.
Memnoth you are rather genius. I appreciate your rants absolutely to the fullest extent, which I suppose in the end by definition is absolute. You pick apart the pieces of an idea and put them back together in whichever way you see fit, and if it becomes convoluted to the point where only you can understand it that is perfectly fine you just wait until someone strolls along that is able to pick apart your own words and throw them back together in your own image. I love you, dude. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] I'm a lyrical physicist, makin dark matter from the the invisible mist. I've got mo' flow than you'd ever know, stop for nothing cause I'm travelin' towards something. A career is created without a procreated fear, a future is near. The storm has moved, conditions have improved, my inner self I've soothed. A monster may be inside but take a look to it's neck and a leash you will find, he really is quite kind, I'll let him out and about if you don't mind. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Bpk7S1k5rw[/media]
tetrahydroharmine. Natures antidepressant (basically more effective than an SSRI and does not require redosing for the restof your life and risking serotonin receptors down regulating or something stupid because of pharma). THH is also a contributor to the positive cognition effects of ayahuasca made with vine. Thats all for today. Do your own research on erowid. Stop taking ssris people.
Reading up. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] Incredibly interesting chemical, will be doing more in depth personal experience research for its use as such. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] Going to do more of this later, it is now 3 AM and I have to get SOME sleep tonight.
[QUOTE=Pirate Jok3r;36095628]Reading up. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] Incredibly interesting chemical, will be doing more in depth personal experience research for its use as such. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] Going to do more of this later, it is now 3 AM and I have to get SOME sleep tonight.[/QUOTE] Same poster as above pirate. Dmt is more incredible and this is related. might as well read up on Dimethyltryptamine, THH, Harmaline, Harmala at the same time while you're at it.
Dats some good shit bro!
[QUOTE=omggrass;36096092]Dats some good shit bro![/QUOTE] Dem indians back in the day smoked alot of tobacco (and those strains had Harmalas in it) Made you trip very uncomfortably. Imagine having your group leader vomit and go to sleep then wake up and answer your questions, that is the indian's 'hardcore shamanism' in short.
Well, It all started a coupe of years back. I met this girl, everything was amazing. We went places, we really loves eachother, and there was a deep connection.Then, one day, she calls me. I pick up, and the first think I hear is, "Breakup". For about a week, I didn't leave the house or talked to anybody, I was so sad. But we still had eachother's phonenumbers. So, I accidentally text the wrong number, and it was her. The text back, I say sorry, then a conversation started. We were talking about what's going on in our lives, and that in general. So after doing that for about half a year, I figure out she's a fan of this one youtuber. She then asks if she could call me a brother or something like that. I say yes, then 1 week later, I ask if I could be her confidant (someone who you can share secrets with and they'll just be like a steel safe) So then the next day, she tells me about her fake dad, Kris, and how he's sending her messages saying shit like, "It's your fault that we broke up" (talking about him and her mom and yes, we are about 15 and 16) then I figure out she's had this depression going on in her life like a switch. On and off at random times. And so because of this, she gets depressed, and I'm trying to help her out.And so today, Kirs sends another message, while we were Skyping, sayiong that he was sorry for saying those things. So then, she hangs up, and 5 minutes later, she messages me saying that she was crying. I try to cheer her up, because I truly care for her. And so she starts watching some videos to cheer up some more, so then we start Skyping again for another 6 hours. About 5 minutes ago, she listens to a voicemail she got while at a parade this morning. And so she listens, and it's Kris again. "The moment I heard, 'Hey, it's Kris again', I just hung up" I could hear the tears in her voice. So, both of us keep quite for a while, then she says her mom told her to go to bed. I still hear the sadness. I say goodnight, see you tomorrow, then I go and dump my mind onto here. because this is the one place where I know I won't be hammered down like a pussy here. ATM it's 2:30, and I'm really worries and I'm getting a lump in my throat from being a little sad. Nobody might care, but I just need to unload my mind here. If you read this far, thank you for bothering to real all of this. I know I read most of your guy's stories, and It's my first time posting in this thread. Once again, thanks for reading this far.
[QUOTE=luaking;36096081]Same poster as above pirate. Dmt is more incredible and this is related. might as well read up on Dimethyltryptamine, THH, Harmaline, Harmala at the same time while you're at it.[/QUOTE] already was reading up on all of those, they came up In comparison in most of the reports I read. im still seventeen so I don't know if those would be good ideas to try at this tender of an age in my mental development stage, ill look up more about that too. I'm on small thirty day trial of prozac atm and it seems to be helping, I'm about three weeks into it and have a therapy appointment this coming Thursday to tell the doc how I'm doing after taking it, according to my own research on prozac they will try to keep me on it for as much as a few months, I'm on a relatively low dose of twenty mg every morning currently so we will see what they do with my script on Thursday. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] and yeah, the age of seventeen was kinda lame of an excuse because I'm sure prozac can fuck with you too mentally in the long run. if you have some input on that or the effects of the others you mentioned i would appreciate it greatly
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