• Unload your mind in this thread.
    492 replies, posted
Could have sworn I was happy with my life, where the fuck did that attitude go? Just all of a sudden this day I feel as if I can't put forth a positive thought anymore, thoughts of suicide returned while I was in the car with buddies driving to get some food at a restaurant. Just last week I was enjoying life to its fullest on my own, I could enjoy being alone without feeling it. Focus is somewhat depleting it feels like. I'll push through, but shit I hate mood swings that are this definitive. I've had them for years and maybe its my hormones off whack and the meds settling or some shit. I'm just trying to find reason to feel the way I do and each time I look it feels like I dig a hole into an endless tunnel of questions and unknown stupidity from my own accord. I put myself here, got myself out of it before. hopefully I find a way this time. I know I can find a way through life without pulling myself out of it but my mind keeps telling me otherwise. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] Oh self pity, first world problems, bullshit in laymen's terms. They exist but aren't necessary, ie bullshit. Gotta love the depressive circle of cognitive repetitiveness. Going to try and be with family for a bit to lighten up, I've clearly been in my room longer than I was when I was happy. Isolating myself is a red flag for the start of my mood triggers, being self aware is a useful tool, otherwise I'm sure I'd be sitting in my room self loathing for the whole day without even thinking of possible reasons, just "Oh man, you're alone in your room, you're clearly alone in the world" NO! why I put myself into that thought process I do not know, but what I do know is that I can get myself out. Willpower is what I'll use.
Self pity and a defeatist attitude will hurt your progress alot more than ill health does.
Repetitive obsessive thoughts, continuous negative and self conscious thoughts of others beliefs in me. Always in third person too. "They'll kill you, hate you" input welcome on these thoughts. I was able to block them out in the last week but recently in the last few days they've risen a bit, I'm assuming from my body pretty much forming a tolerance to the "medicine" and not able to continue letting me focus how I used to. [editline]27th May 2012[/editline] I love that advice, I read it earlier and when I'm in these dips it makes it easy to forget them, being self aware of having a problem makes it easier to climb out into a positive light and look upon myself as a possibility not a can not be.
[QUOTE=Pirate Jok3r;36066697]Using weed as an escape is ok sometimes but as an absolute solution, dude that's just a delusion. I lived and thrived off buying weed and smoking with friends, it was pretty bad. Spending hundreds of dollars every couple of weeks just on pot. If I could go back I'd tell myself, man, you'd better not. It seems you're pretty self aware of the situation and you feel a real sense of worry, which is good, it means you want to find a solution. You aren't in a hurry, from the sounds of it you're young, I am too (17) but life experience has taught me a load of wisdom and it feels like I'm on top of this earths kingdom. [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] I've been through group therapy, mental treatment, currently on meds (prozac) and am turning my life back around. Got court tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. My charges were possession and paraphernalia, they didn't decide to tack on a DUI it looks like. Hopefully they don't waive me to adult court.[/QUOTE] I have no clue why, but I read that whole post as if it were a rap.
I literally used to love life and be motivated to work and do anything, now i question everything and dont see the point to anything, like life itself you set all these goals in life when really in the end you die and everything you worked for doesnt matter because life will go on without you. See i just dont see the point in shit anymore just work and smoke bud
[QUOTE=tesher07;36106139]I have no clue why, but I read that whole post as if it were a rap.[/QUOTE] That be the point. [editline]28th May 2012[/editline] Find that balance between joy and unjoy, with my mind I toy, play with, run with, run from. Can't run from what is you, preach to yourself in a row of pews, listen to the thought and yourself you can be taught. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFjIZSfkWUM[/media]
Well where should I begin When I was thirteen my uncle Len died of cancer slowly I felt powerless all I could do was watch him slowly die . Started smoking weed to dumb the pain. Fourteen. Dad walked out on me made me feel worthless , smoked a lot more weed.fithteen.My best friend was shot twice.Moved onto to acid. I'm in a depressed state of mind and drugs help me escape the hursh reality but eventually it all comes back the pain , the sadness , the deperssion and guilt. It does feel abit better getting it off my chest -Flare
You guys seem pretty bummed and I listen to way too much Eyedea soooo [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICRXen1IlA0[/media]
sometimes when i get really high (like i am now) i get scared that the song that i'm listening to is so good that the people who recorded the song are in the studio recording the song and taunting me because of their musical skills [editline]29th May 2012[/editline] oh god i hope somebody can relate
I dream of making fat loops like these. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwWAaSDUekI[/media]
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