Goddammit, I was playing Banjo-Kazooie, I finish half the game with 100% on all the worlds I've done, I save and quit to take a break and it didn't fucking save. fucking piece of shit i spent like 4 or 5 hours doing this shit
You, girl of my dreams. The one I hold so very dear to my heart, whom I'd do anything for in an instant. I know as much as I care for you, it can never be. The memories we have and the fun are something for me to always cherish, but as the past has shown me it is clear you do not feel the same. But I want to tell you how amazing I felt on Sunday night when you were cold, and decided to snuggle up next to me on the couch and put my arm around you. If only being friends means I can do at least that for you, then so be it.
Then... today you tell me the doctors think the cause of your seizures is Lupus. I know of 3 instances of Lupus from this area, each of them leading to the death of those who were diagnosed. I won't believe it. I wouldn't know what to do with myself... [I]you[/I] don't even have the confirmation yet, and[I] I'm[/I] a wreck. Please, please let it be something else, something that will not put your life in danger.
Please.
[QUOTE=Ripvayne;34834959]You, girl of my dreams. The one I hold so very dear to my heart, whom I'd do anything for in an instant. I know as much as I care for you, it can never be. The memories we have and the fun are something for me to always cherish, but as the past has shown me it is clear you do not feel the same. But I want to tell you how amazing I felt on Sunday night when you were cold, and decided to snuggle up next to me on the couch and put my arm around you. If only being friends means I can do at least that for you, then so be it.
Then... today you tell me the doctors think the cause of your seizures is Lupus. I know of 3 instances of Lupus from this area, each of them leading to the death of those who were diagnosed. I won't believe it. I wouldn't know what to do with myself... [I]you[/I] don't even have the confirmation yet, and[I] I'm[/I] a wreck. Please, please let it be something else, something that will not put your life in danger.
Please.[/QUOTE]
You should tell her how you fell.
[QUOTE=Smooth-e;34839363]You should tell her how you fell.[/QUOTE]
It's no secret to her how I feel, I've tried many time in the past to make something of us over the years but she just doesn't see it. I became hopeless, I feel that as much as I care for her it just won't happen. In an effort to avoid anymore heartache I am going to simply be as good to her as I can and maybe one day she will come around. If not, then at least I can say I've always been there for her, especially if she is diagnosed and things make a turn for the worse. I can accept the friendzone, if that's what you wish to call it.
What has become troublesome for me is a longtime friend of mine who knows my past with her and how I feel (and told me before hand that he would never betray me). He spent probably 5 days with her (4 of which I was with them) and has some delusion that he and she could be this perfect match. She has told me what she thinks of him, immature and stubborn, but his act of betrayal is getting to me even though I know it comes from another instance of some high-school crush he's always running into with any girl that displays the slightest hint of attention.
In those days he made desperate attempts to humiliate me or interrupt her and I as we were talking, and the moment she told him to get out of her way so she could get next to me on the couch, he began looking for numerous reasons for us to leave the place. I'm happy I do not resort to violence so easy. I kept my cool even though my other close friends have told me how bad they would have got him.
In any case, I know it would be futile for me to make another pursuit. I just have to sit by and see how things play out and in that time be the best person I can be.
i keep thinkiing about how humans are animals and i'm seeing everything differently and its horrifying
life sucks, but its good to be alive.
(sorry in advance if this seems like a stupid problem out of nothing and i come off as bitchy or something, but its really getting me in a depressed mood lately, and i have depression tendencies)
lately im hating the friends i hang out with. well, not hate, but i have a lot of trouble dealing with them.
i had some problems with being alone because they were around all the time, maybe i needed some time to unwind on my own, but its just that every comment, every view or opinion is just so irritating.
lately i was wishing to meet new people, that enjoyed talking about philosophy or logic and dont dismiss knowledge just because its vacation. people that were able to see why something is good or correct in some view, instead of immediately dismissing it as wrong or awful because of their own opinion. for some reason my opinion has become that everything is good to someone in some way and it should be appreciated, and it kind of angers me when others dont understand this.
besides, in todays world, many people are ignorant of many subjects, but still feel in all right to make a valid and proper opinion about something. before, peoples expertises were valued and their opinions would have so much more value than those of any random stranger, however now, everyone feels they are right no matter how litte they know about the subject they want to talk about.
i really wish i had someone that knew me from head to toes, and was able to understand how i view the world, and is able to understand me easily when i try to explain a view or idea and have a menality that is not limited by the standards of society but rather be able to see if its right or wrong by his/herself and not just say, its like this because it is, or because its always been, or just because, but rather he/she would know the reasons behind his/her reasoning and be able to form their own opinions on what society should be like and not live by the standards that society has already created.
i could think of some examples of the standards of society and the free thinking but none come to my mind at the moment, ill still try though:
a very simpleone would be the fact that noting nail polish or caring how to combine clothes dont infere any level of gayness, its totally separate and one should not be judged in such way just because of these small things. (not implying being gay is bad, im perfectly comfortable with gay people, theres also a chance that someday ill grow to embrace both geners but i feel no real urge now)
i wish i could kill myself, but I can't just put people through that kind of emotional trauma (yeah I'll be fucking dead but I still care)
[QUOTE=Werem00se;34777614]I've never heard of this. And I would think if you can extract codeine from it, A LOT of people would be doing it.[/QUOTE]
Tylenol 1, Tylenol 2, Tylenol 3, and Tylenol 4's have codiene in it, but are by prescription only in the US. I think that's what he's referring too.
IIRC I'm pretty sure its OTC in other countries like canada or england?
[QUOTE=l l;34859835]i wish i could kill myself, but I can't just put people through that kind of emotional trauma (yeah I'll be fucking dead but I still care)[/QUOTE]
I had this from when I was 13 'til I was around 16, trailing off just before I turned 17. I find it awesome that there are people who are compassionate enough to think of others before themselves, while trying to make a life-altering decision.
Actual mind-release:
Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a level 4/5 heart murmur, with chances of a valve in my heart not functioning correctly. I'm getting a scan next week Thursday, but for the last two weeks I've just been in a bad state mentally and emotionally. Sometimes in class, I'll just start feeling extremely depressed, bordering suicidal because of the possibility of death in such a short time, I don't understand it.
My work effort and attention during school, as well as most of my social life and family life have rapidly deteriorated during the last fortnight, and it scares me to think that there are a handful of people stressing out because of me, and I hate that. I want nobody to have to worry, I want it to end....
[QUOTE=Biotic;34778220]I've been trying, it's just too hard, if you've ever been addicted to opiates you'd know what I mean.[/QUOTE]
tell your doctor you want off the oxy im sure he can work out some sort of taper for you
[editline]25th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=l l;34859835]i wish i could kill myself, but I can't just put people through that kind of emotional trauma (yeah I'll be fucking dead but I still care)[/QUOTE]
ive felt like this my entire life. when i was 14 about 3 months after being pulled out of therapy i tried to and was locked up in the hospital for several days. what do my parents do? send me back for three sessions then pull me out again, like thats supposed to help me any. when my girlfriend was 14 she tried to kill herself by downing a bottle of klonopin and another time by jumping off a bridge. about 6 months ago my dad tried to kill himself by running the lawn mower in the garage and almost died.
suicide is all around me.
[editline]25th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;34783384]I hate anxiety, more than anything else. Id take a lifetime of depression over an anxiety filled one. Fuck, i hope its just the cold weather its the depressing shit that has happened in years passed that makes me feel negativity toward it. Hopefully when spring comes around i will feel better.[/QUOTE]
shit, try having both.
With my pure hatred for school and some weed came up with a way to make school better
Elementary School - Regular classes (math, science, history, ect..)
When you start High School you should know what you wanna do as a career so you go to a high school that ONLY teaches what you need to be good at that job, but at a High School level
then College is the same as high school just more advanced
Ex. you want to go into business you take business classes in high school, and then college. If you want to teach business you would take both teaching and business classes.
(Also there would be no Homework/Projects because I've never learned shit from homework and projects all my learning was in class.)
I've devoted my life to thoughts of the universe and our place in it.
It has removed my ambitions in life and replaced them with the knowledge that my choices are as irrelevant as their impact. I have moved well past the need for life to be anything more, and am at peace with this reality.
However...my peers, co-workers, friends, and family all sense this lack of drive. I face scrutiny and constant criticism by everyone who thinks they understand something that I do not. They attempt to make me see something in life that for me, simply does not exist. I can't be something I am not, any more than I would expect them to be.
I quietly observe ignorance rewarded by bliss time and again. It is lonely.
So I got high and unloaded my mind on twitter. This is what I thought I guess. (Read from da bottom up mon!)
[IMG]https://p.twimg.com/AmsIcjeCEAAaqfU.png[/IMG]
So this is a thread where I can put whats on my mind!? Sweet..
weed vagina money x900000
you should become a rapper
Since like 2 years ago, I've been told that I'm very unmotivated and show no emotions, and some people have told me that I have no emotions at all (jokingly). Yeah, I know, fuck them and all that, but my mind has rewired itself into taking this way too seriously. A lot of the time when I find something funny or touching, I think to myself "see? you do have emotions", instead of actually enjoying the moment.
Oh yeah, and I'm a waste of resources and space. I don't do anything for life. I have nothing to be proud of, yet everything to be grateful for. A "normal" person under my circumstances would've taken advantage of every opportunity instead of being an antisocial pussy. Well, this mood kinda fluctuates, since sometimes I imagine having tons of friends and realize that it would be kinda annoying to be honest, and that I was happy with my current group and my current life.
But it kills me inside when I compare my position with others, people that see their children get blown up by a suicide bomber, a wife that gets beaten by her asshole husband constantly, some dude with cancer.
Also, lately I feel as if I'm incapable of making any decision for myself, and forming an opinion on anything. I wait for someone to speak first before I say what I have to say, I do what the majority of the group wants to do most of the time, or I stick with my "dont do anything at all because it's too much effort" way of doing things.
My "girlfriend" and I have been "going out" for 2 weeks now. Thing is she is BORING AND NERVOUS AS FUCK. She doesn't talk on the phone with me. She doesn't hang out at all nor does she ever come up to me without getting pulled by her friends(jokingly). I feel like this is so called "relationship" is nothing. I'm breaking it off but here is the full story.
We've known eachother for 2 years and were decent friends but her frequent nervous behavior stopped us from hanging out most of the time. Tomorrow I'm going to tell her about a person I met at the mall a few days ago.
Few days ago:
I was just planning to buy a few jackets at the nearby clothes store and to return home quickly. Instead at around 6pm I see this poor girl just bawling her eyes out against a wall. I walk up to her and ask her if things were okay. She looks up at me and we hug randomly. At that moment I actually felt something even more than what me and my "girlfriend" had.
I ask the girl if she would want to talk and she stands up and smiles. We walk for 10 mins and we laugh and get to know eachother. I get her digits and by now its like 6:30pm. I just decide to go home.
This girl and I begin to talk late at night for 5 days in a row and we hang out for those 5 days in a row. On the 5th day the girl and I starting getting more "intimate" at her house. She ends up trying to kiss me but I pull back knowing that I still have a "girlfriend". I leave her house and begin to walk home in the dark cold night.
The thing that is widely pissing me off is that I hung out with this random girl more then my girlfriend within a week when I've known my "girlfriend" for 2 years.
how old are you? you sound like 14
leave the "girlfriend" and get with the girl who actually likes you
Nice you guessed correctly I'm 14 moving on to 15 in a week. I am trying to "break up" with my "girlfriend" but we aren't exactly social between us. She's too awkward to be around. I am planning to break up with her rather soon. Also "Girl B" and I talked and we decided to take our relationship more seriously. ( Other words she wants to be a little over friends).
[QUOTE=gooldude;34919395]Nice you guessed correctly I'm 14 moving on to 15 in a week. I am trying to "break up" with my "girlfriend" but we aren't exactly social between us. She's too awkward to be around. I am planning to break up with her rather soon. Also "Girl B" and I talked and we decided to take our relationship more seriously. ( Other words she wants to be a little over friends).[/QUOTE]
Just break it off dude, don't pussyfoot around, better to get it over with now.
Not like Girl B would be bothered that you just broke up as she seems to be interested.
You're 14, just relax.
He's right, you're only 14, don't be worrying about girl friends at this age man, It's a waste of time untill your like 17 apparently xD. I am also 14, but I don't care about pussy that much anymore.
[QUOTE=gooldude;34905181]My "girlfriend" and I have been "going out" for 2 weeks now. Thing is she is BORING AND NERVOUS AS FUCK. She doesn't talk on the phone with me. She doesn't hang out at all nor does she ever come up to me without getting pulled by her friends(jokingly). I feel like this is so called "relationship" is nothing. I'm breaking it off but here is the full story.
We've known eachother for 2 years and were decent friends but her frequent nervous behavior stopped us from hanging out most of the time. Tomorrow I'm going to tell her about a person I met at the mall a few days ago.
Few days ago:
I was just planning to buy a few jackets at the nearby clothes store and to return home quickly. Instead at around 6pm I see this poor girl just bawling her eyes out against a wall. I walk up to her and ask her if things were okay. She looks up at me and we hug randomly. At that moment I actually felt something even more than what me and my "girlfriend" had.
I ask the girl if she would want to talk and she stands up and smiles. We walk for 10 mins and we laugh and get to know eachother. I get her digits and by now its like 6:30pm. I just decide to go home.
This girl and I begin to talk late at night for 5 days in a row and we hang out for those 5 days in a row. On the 5th day the girl and I starting getting more "intimate" at her house. She ends up trying to kiss me but I pull back knowing that I still have a "girlfriend". I leave her house and begin to walk home in the dark cold night.
The thing that is widely pissing me off is that I hung out with this random girl more then my girlfriend within a week when I've known my "girlfriend" for 2 years.[/QUOTE]
i had the same kind of girlfriend when i was 13 or 14. fucking stressful, she was my neighbour on the beach club and communication was impossible which was kind of ironic since she lived right next to me and we grew up together. we were together for a month and then didnt talked until the next year when i saw her again and broke it up.. she left the country for a few years, no she came back, turens out she still has something for me, and acording to my friends she is fucking hot though i dont see it that much. its still awfully hard to communicate though. im looking for someone more intelligent and interesting and not that interested inhow hot she is.
but you should brake up with her and go with girl b. its good to start having a gf at 14, however dont go thinking its gonna be too serious. later when you look back that will look very silly compared to the relationships you will be probably having, but it willhelp you gain confidence i nthe future.
[QUOTE=DrPompo;34920214]i had the same kind of girlfriend when i was 13 or 14. fucking stressful, she was my neighbour on the beach club and communication was impossible which was kind of ironic since she lived right next to me and we grew up together. we were together for a month and then didnt talked until the next year when i saw her again and broke it up.. she left the country for a few years, no she came back, turens out she still has something for me, and acording to my friends she is fucking hot though i dont see it that much. its still awfully hard to communicate though. im looking for someone more intelligent and interesting and not that interested inhow hot she is.
but you should brake up with her and go with girl b. its good to start having a gf at 14, however dont go thinking its gonna be too serious. later when you look back that will look very silly compared to the relationships you will be probably having, but it willhelp you gain confidence i nthe future.[/QUOTE]
Thanks I appreciate this.
[QUOTE=Hmn30;34905008]Since like 2 years ago, I've been told that I'm very unmotivated and show no emotions, and some people have told me that I have no emotions at all (jokingly). Yeah, I know, fuck them and all that, but my mind has rewired itself into taking this way too seriously. A lot of the time when I find something funny or touching, I think to myself "see? you do have emotions", instead of actually enjoying the moment.
Oh yeah, and I'm a waste of resources and space. I don't do anything for life. I have nothing to be proud of, yet everything to be grateful for. A "normal" person under my circumstances would've taken advantage of every opportunity instead of being an antisocial pussy. Well, this mood kinda fluctuates, since sometimes I imagine having tons of friends and realize that it would be kinda annoying to be honest, and that I was happy with my current group and my current life.
But it kills me inside when I compare my position with others, people that see their children get blown up by a suicide bomber, a wife that gets beaten by her asshole husband constantly, some dude with cancer.
Also, lately I feel as if I'm incapable of making any decision for myself, and forming an opinion on anything. I wait for someone to speak first before I say what I have to say, I do what the majority of the group wants to do most of the time, or I stick with my "dont do anything at all because it's too much effort" way of doing things.[/QUOTE]
Also sorry for not replying to this earlier. You sound sort of around 18.
I'm sorry this is how you feel your life is but take into deep consideration that there are many people who haven't accomplished one thing yet. One human being can change many lives. Don't dwell in the past because that makes you stuck in your little shell. Instead focus on your life ahead and think of all the stuff you can accomplish and change. I myself want to become a doctor to change someone's life. Just for that. That feeling of helping someone.
If you want to talk then just pm me.
[QUOTE=ljonny;34920176]He's right, you're only 14, don't be worrying about girl friends at this age man, It's a waste of time untill your like 17 apparently xD. [B]I am also 14, but I don't care about pussy that much anymore[/B].[/QUOTE]
:colbert:
all i have to say is Gooldude, dont get too attached, you can just be a rebound guy and she'll get bored of you in a short time, second youre young so dont invest to much in this or you will fuck over yourself, third enjoy it while it lasts and when it breaks off move on.
I love Methadrone, that is all.
"Fuck i really dont wanna write this shit but i have to do it because i will be thrown out and laughed at"
There.
Then why post bro?
[editline]7th March 2012[/editline]
Adding the word bro makes it 70% less hostile.
[QUOTE=Jah Mason;34941060]I love Methadrone, that is all.[/QUOTE]
cant tell if you like mephedrone or methadone
what if you grew weed on your head...... instead of hair..
Feeling so depressed because of nothing today. There's so much shit that i would love to change in my live but am unable to, like actually get to learn to school, get a proper hobby for longer than 7 days, and stop being lonley and feeling depressed most of time.
Also would love to be able to drink.
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