The Miricle Of The Puppy,The Worlds Worst Ending.Made on drabble - General

[QUOTE=MacD11;23346970]The Miracle Of The Puppy bob hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK. He loathed it. Every December, bob would feel himself getting all alive inside. He refused to put up a Christmas fish, he snapped at anyone exciting enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents. On December 13, bob had to go to the mall to buy a smart goat. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing last around and so much Christmas music blaring very, he thought his head would explode. Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a new man collecting for charity. bob never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word. Suddenly, the new man dropped his bells and[B] ran over the rive[/B]r. There was a happy puppy right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the new man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger! bob rushed out and first pushed them both out of the way. There was a tiny bang and then everything went dark. When bob woke up, he was in a bright room. There was a Christmas fish in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, bob's manboob hurt. A lot. The new man came into the room. "I'm so grand!" he said. "You're awake. My name is kevin. You saved me from the truck. But your manboob is broken." bob hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas fish up and his manboob was broken, he felt quite hot, especially when he looked at kevin. "Your manboob must hurt fast," kevin said. "I think this will help." And he ran bob several times. Now bob felt very hot indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved kevin. "I love you," he said, and kissed kevin quickly. "I love you too," said kevin. Just then, the puppy ran into the room and nuzzled bob's arm. "I brought him home with us," kevin said. "We'll call him Miracle," bob said. "Our Christmas Miracle." It was the best Christmas ever. Oh God.... made by my cousin.[/QUOTE] Did it survive?

Bob's manboob was hurting in his was hurting manboob?

hey cool nice story i liked it alot thank you very much for putting this story on the internet so i could read it its much appreciated that you would put the time and effort into putting a piece of work up on the net for me you have provided me withentertainment and i could not be happier with this free entertainment my friend

did his manboob ever fix? [editline]11:45PM[/editline] Such a cliffhanger

it was clearly fixed when kevin ran bob.

[url=http://prillalar.com/drabbles/]Made with the Drabble-Matic.[/url] [editline]c[/editline] Clocks ahoy.

Sequel will feature an alternative with bob and dan.

Not if I make it first!

What the fuck is this that I just read. I'm confused.

kaydone [quote]To Collidingly Ran bob and dan were celebrating a grand Valentine's Day together. bob had cooked a I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK dinner and they ate on a rock by candlelight. "My darling," dan said, stroking bob's manboob, "I have something for you." He gave a box to bob. "It is but a hot token of my smart love." bob opened the box. Inside was an alive cousin! He gazed at it jauntingly. Then he gazed at dan jauntingly. "It's tiny," bob said. "Come here and let me ran you." Just then, a bright crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like an innocent man trapped in the center of the earth being raped by two convicted murderers who are also dinosaurs. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a happy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table. dan read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother." They stared at each other huskily as the crone cackled some more. bob's ass began to tremble. Then dan shrugged, pulled out a river, and hit the crone on her dick. She fell over dead. "Problem solved!" bob said and kissed dan gaily. "This is a new Valentine's Day!" They happily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul. And then they kicked each other all night long.[/quote]

I can't stop laughing

Great sequal (from origional creators)

Adulatory Love Billy Mays finished packing. Ever since Chuck Norris, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Billy Mays had been Busy. There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing sucked him, all was First. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a dick to become a Maltese police station. Just then, there was a Extensible knock at the door. Billy Mays opened it and stood there contrivedly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his ear. When Billy Mays came to, Chuck Norris was holding his leg and looking Seeming. "My love," Chuck Norris said pessimistically, "I'm sorry for the Damaging shock. I've been shipwrecked on a Fantastical island for the last ten years, living like a rainbow that cast a gay glow o'er all the land!. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my cock in the wreck. Can you still love me?" Billy Mays could hardly believe his Chuck Norris had returned. "I will always love you, cock or no cock. Besides, you can cover it up with a grandma." They embraced comfortedly and vowed to never be parted again. And all was Cardboard.

[QUOTE=MacD11;23346970]The Miracle Of The Puppy *Words words words*[/QUOTE] I lol'd

I fucking touched myself.

[img]http://oneplanetmikey.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/book-burning1.gif[/img] This goes with the rest.

[B]Drabble: Stephanie Meyer Edition[/B] The Battle For The Dick Under a bed, Eddward dropped his dick. He had been busy with the dick for hours and now wanted nothing more than a sparkly cuddle or an awesome massage from his lover Bella. He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his beautiful Bella appeared at the door, grinning angrily. "Put down the dick," Bella said quickly. "Unless you want me to drop that dick on your nose." Eddward put down the dick. He was fishy. He had never seen Bella so sexy before and it made him tyrannical. Bella picked up the dick, then withdrew a robot from her ear. "Don't be so fishy," Bella said with a sexy grimace. "A wolf bit my leg this morning, and everything became obese. Now with this dick and this robot I can quickly rule the world!" Eddward clutched his funny leg intelligently. This was his lover, his beautiful Bella, now staring at him with a sexy ear. "Fight it!" Eddward shouted. "The wolf just wants the dick for his own beautiful devices! He doesn't love you, not the sparkly way I do!" Eddward could see Bella trembling intelligently. Eddward reached out his nose and touched Bella's ear quickly. He was beautiful, so beautiful, but he knew only his funny love for Bella would break the wolf's spell. Sure enough, Bella dropped the dick with a thunk. "Oh, Eddward," she squealed. "I'm so sparkly, can you ever forgive me?" But Eddward had already moved under a bed. Like a happy rainbow that brings sparkes and fairies to everyone, he pressed his nose into Bella's ear. And as they fell together in an obese fit of love, the dick lay on the floor, tyrannical and forgotten.

[B]I'm Dreaming Of A Long Christmas[/B] It was Christmas Eve. Jacob sat hungrily on the kitchen table, sipping throbbing eggnog. He looked at the wide member hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Sarah had hung it there, just before they looked at each other lustfully and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's clitoris. If only I hadn't been so pink, Jacob thought, pouring a horny amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Sarah might not have got so swollen and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a large tear and held his tongue in his hand. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a glistening voice lifted passionately up in song. [I]I'm dreaming of a long Christmas Just like a huge boring machine underneath the English Channel[/I] Jacob ran to the door. It was Sarah, looking neat-looking all over with snow. "I missed you warily," Sarah said. "And I wanted to lick your clitoris again." Jacob hugged Sarah and started to sob. "I think you're drunk," Sarah said. "I think so too," Jacob said and they licked each other's clitoris until they knocked the Christmas tree over. On Christmas Day, they ate roasted one-eyed snake glans and lived huskily until Jacob got drunk again. [editline]03:12AM[/editline] OK this next one's better. [editline]03:14AM[/editline] [B]The Horny Stranger[/B] The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Jacob strode along the path, making for Glistening Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Wide Member, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Clitoris. A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his long love stick just in time to face the throbbing woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled. The woman struck hungrily, and Jacob barely raised his love stick to meet the attack. They fought long and lustfully until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict. At last, Jacob found himself forced to one knee, the woman's love stick pressed to his pink tongue. "I am Sarah of Glistening Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Wide Member. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on the kitchen table." But Jacob had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his love stick with a twist, overpowered Sarah and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Jacob said, looking down upon her. Sarah's glans shimmered like a huge boring machine underneath the English Channel. "I have underestimated you, Jacob. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more." Jacob's desire was enflamed. His tongue throbbed and all his thoughts were to lick Sarah like an one-eyed snake. Jacob caressed Sarah's neat-looking glans and she responded. They came together warily, and their joining was as swollen as their battle, and also much louder. "Ah, my sweet safe deposit box!" Jacob groaned and licked Sarah as passionately as he could. "Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?" "Oh," Jacob said. "That's where I put the Wide Member for safekeeping. Sorry." When they had finished their romp, they drowsed huskily on the grass, forgetful of all but their large love. "We will stay together forever," Sarah said, and they began all over again. And so it was that the Wizard Clitoris never got the Wide Member and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

I don't know what I just read, but it must be destroyed. I now want to kill myself. This thread must be locked before more sexual shit gets leaked into Facepunch, so much for being the most sanitary forum on the internet.

:wtc:

:whoptc:

[QUOTE=BananaFoam;23369671]I don't know what I just read, but it must be destroyed. I now want to kill myself. This thread must be locked before more sexual shit gets leaked into Facepunch, so much for being the most sanitary forum on the internet.[/QUOTE] Just be grateful we've got a new Drabble-Matic thread.

OK, this fourth paragraph is gold. [B]Hard Lang Syne[/B] Nancy sipped readily at her drink and stood hard behind a door handle. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel dark and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how plastic her chin got when she was nervous. Well, truth be told, Nancy knew very well why she was at the party: to see Jeffrey. Ah, Jeffrey. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his orange belly button made Nancy's heart beat , a mountain amongst the hillocks of lesser things. But tonight everyone was masked. Nancy peered gaily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Jeffrey. There, she thought, the man over by the torch, the thick one with the budgerigar mask. It had to be Jeffrey. No one else could look so blue, even in a budgerigar mask. He began to walk Nancy's way and Nancy started to panic. What if he actually talked to Nancy? Jeffrey came right up to Nancy and Nancy thought that she was going to faint. "Hello," Jeffrey said hurriedly. "What are you doing over here all alone?" "Oh, just looking at the shirt," Nancy said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so long. Just then, an unending voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..." Nancy's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Jeffrey might ... [I]"Happy New Year!"[/I] Jeffrey swept Nancy into his arms, bent her underneath the night sky, and kissed Nancy jokingly, slipping her the tongue and groping her nose. Nancy could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out happily and pulled Jeffrey's mask off his face. It was Jeffrey! "I knew it was you," Nancy said and took her own mask off. "And it's ... you," Jeffrey said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch." Nancy watched him go. He would be right back, Nancy was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch. And then they would fall in love.

The Early X-Mas Special: I Saw Dan Kissing Santa Claus Bob woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one cold box that looked like a Gabe Newell. Then Bob noticed that Dan was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either. Bob thought that he would surprise Dan. Maybe even sneak up behind him and lick him on his deadly Manboobies. That always made Dan funny. Bob crept smoothly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its jewish lights, and the presents, heaped up heavily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Dan. Kissing someone. Bob was so angry, he picked up a Treat from a table and threw it lightly on a RAINBOW. They both looked around. "Dan, you enlighted Sea Monkey!" Bob yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Bob looked and then rubbed his Boobies and looked again. It was Santa Claus. "Let me explain," Dan said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe." "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a gooey kiss it was." "Well, I suppose," Bob said quickly. "If he was under the mistletoe." "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be hot." That seemed reasonable. Bob went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa. Santa was the best kisser ever, like eating a daisy. He made Bob's Head feel all cockey. "You see?" Dan said fast and Bob saw. So they had a threeway. Everybody's presents were late.