Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Kaelnukem;47080804]I used to be a very anxious person, literally sick from going to school. I pretty much fixed that. It does feel kind of similiar, but it never continued after I would come home. Now I just feel shit 24/7.[/QUOTE] I had a similar reaction after I got my wisdom teeth out. I blamed it on the mandatory rest time. It's easy to beat depression when you're already up and about doing stuff - when you have to sit around for days and days, fucked up on painkillers and stuff, it's easy to fall back into old habits that increase your depression or your anxiety. It went away for me when I got a steady job again, but I sort of know what you're talking about. I feel like painkillers and laughing gas and such can trigger depressive episodes - it definitely did for me. It's probably way different for a root canal, but I have no clue. [editline]6th February 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Citrus705;47077206]Does anyone else [i]really[/i] hate talking on the phone? My anxiety gets so bad I can barely concentrate and talk properly if I'm talking with a stranger on the phone, but face to face for some reason I'm okay[sp]ish[/sp][/QUOTE] I used to be terrified of phone calls and I'd often let them just ring until they ended instead of answering. The only way to fix it is to start answering phone calls. You'll get anxious, sure, but if you do it enough you'll get less and less anxious until it's not a huge deal. My heart still skips a beat when my phone rings, but once I've answered it's not a huge source of anxiety.

I go through my house phone's internal phonebook, and scrolling through it I find two cell phone numbers of deceased relatives.

every weekend it's almost as if I'm back to where I was half a year ago. it's almost as if the ward I've been going to never happened, every single time. whenever I'm at the ward, I generally have something to do. I watch movies, I socialize with the others, I take the initiative to initiate activities, etc. I'm considered one of the most up going patients at the ward and I've been told I've become a "meeting point", that the other patients generally seek out where I am because that's where things happen. I appreciate it of course and I'm happy that things go well there, but I'm nothing without the ward. at home, I don't have the same will to do things even though I'm bored out of my mind. I don't watch movies, I don't play games, I don't initiate activities and I'm definitely not socializing with anyone. it's back to old, bad habits. hygiene, what I drink and eat, and activities all become very low priority. I get stressed out over not being able to do anything. I'm not sure what causes this behavior, but I imagine it's my association with the environment. I'm used to things going this way whenever I'm home, so perhaps I'm just continuing with the old routine? it's hard to break out of old routines, but it's easy to create new ones where there's no existing routine which I imagine is what happened at the ward. some thoughts which have been bothering me lately is the fact that I'm getting better. of course there's lots of issues yet to tackle, but it's definitely better than where I was 6 months ago. I don't want to suffer from all this, but at the same time something says it's a good idea to descend back into my pit. it's more comfortable. I won't have to take the initiative with friends as I'll be surrounded by great people at the ward or a nice psychologist. it's less job for me at the expense that I'll suffer, but at the same time some of my needs which one would usually make some effort to get would come to me effortlessly. it feels so much more secure and the thought that one day I'm going to stand independently on my own feet scares me. I want to be a mental hospital patient for the rest of my life, it's so comfortable [editline]6th February 2015[/editline] I'm not sure how I'm supposed to deal with friendships. I get this stinging feeling of jealousy every time someone I enjoy hanging out with is hanging out with someone else. I thought it was just a matter of getting used to considering I used to have a extremely possessive behavior of my ex, but apparently not. after having known a guy for a little over a year, I still feel that sting of jealousy whenever I see someone else interacting with him. it really ruins me for some time, makes me fairly depressed. I suppose deep inside I want everyone I know exclusively for myself, but that's just not how it works which I know and have tried to get used to, but it still feels just as bad. [editline]6th February 2015[/editline] I feel replaced so extremely quickly [editline]6th February 2015[/editline] I want my psychologist [IMG]http://fi.somethingawful.com/images/smilies/emot-crying.gif[/IMG]

So I've just had the thought of killing a guy for the last hour. While at work, there is one guy that isn't allowed in the store because he is a pedophile that have been trying to steal and generally "harass" women that are underage. I totally froze and couldn't throw him out because started to think about when he tried to hit on me 2-3 years ago. I ended up obeying him and tried to help even though I want to kill that guy because of how he is to most girls I know. He probably knew that I wouldn't be able to resist him and just throw him out. I feel sick and terrible because of that. He never did anything horrible to me but I just want to puke of his behavior. Also I'm still sad about my mother that told me I'm never with the family. I just wanna dig a hole, run away from anything. [editline]7th February 2015[/editline] Also to clarify, I'm a boy/guy

I don't know where I'm headed with my life. I feel like I'm repeating myself, and I'm pretty sure I am, but I'm not able to see much of a point. why do something when there's no end goal or reward? I've always been happy that I'm able to think short term as it relieves me of anxiety and worry for upcoming things, but I've found it's mentally taxing to live with such a short sight of whats ahead. you wind up getting stuck in this endless loop of routines with no goal in sight. what do I want to work as? should I go back to school? should I keep going like this? metaphorically speaking, it's like sitting in a train that has track that loops. I'm aboard a train that'll never reach a destination, nor do I even know what that destination would be. I get so incredibly impulsive about everything. if I don't want to go to work, I simply don't go to work. I tackle the consequences and worry for that after I've screwed up. if I have plans with someone and something else pops up that I'd rather do, I often just discard whatever plans I made, and of course it's followed by the regret and consequences of it afterwards when it's too late. it's too easy to do what I find the most comfortable, most entertaining, etc, even though it's not always the best choice which I'm fully aware of. I've begun worrying about future friendships. for some reason I wind up jealous if someone I enjoy hanging out with spends their time with someone else. it's not exclusive to a certain few people or crushes or anything like that, it's universal. I've tried so hard to just get used to it, but it's not working my way. the feeling of abandonment, feeling of being replaced, is just as strong as it used to be.

I'm 19, a few months ago I was diagnosed with chronic depression and social anxiety. For the past few years or so I've been dealing with it without having it checked out, and as a result I've left university, stopped working and all but closeted myself away from everyone. At a few points, it got bad enough that I still have scars on my arms from when I stupidly attempted to kill myself. I was put on medication (citalopram) for about a month, but had to switch to setraline as citalopram gave me hair loss. So far I'm not seeing much result from setraline, but hopefully I'll be back studying soon enough.

[QUOTE=yawmwen;39757374]wasn't there a web page designed specifically for people who are "shy" or have social anxiety issues that helps give exercises and tips on how to socialize and make friends? that was a good resource that i've lost if anyone has it.[/QUOTE] If anyone has this, this would be good considering I am depressed about my social life. I do not know how to socialize in real life, the only place I can is on the computer. I have 1 friend, we've been friends for our entire lives. I had to drop out of school to do home school because the teachers wouldn't lose to my Mom or the Principal when they said to give my brothers some help because of their Autism. So my Mom just took me out and I've done home schooling ever since. This was around 07-08, I forgot but it's been years. I am in highschool now but still doing home school. I'd go to school but I prefer home schooling since it is flexible and I hear that the highschool in our town is rubbish. Even if it was all good, I still wouldn't be able to go since I have a sleep disorder where my sleep patterns go around the clock, literally. If you google "Non 24-hour sleep wake disorder" you should find the wikipedia page. Anyway, besides that there isn't really anywhere to meet people except at the Pool, skatepark, normal park (but it's mostly kids), school, a show that happens once a year and has rides, youth group but I felt like I wasn't liked, and I wasn't really into the whole Christianity part of it. And I guess that is about it. No clubs, no game stores, nothing. It's a reason why this town is called a retirement village by most kids here. There is fuck all to do except for what I said. Anyway, my best friend has tons of friends and he pretty much see's them throughout town, and when I hang out with him and he talks to his other friend, I just don't talk unless spoken to, and I just avoid eye contact and just look around like some NPC. Due to this, I've been depressed. [editline]7th February 2015[/editline] You know that image where the kid is like "I wish I was at home, playing video games."? Well that is how I pretty much feel when I am around other people, since I know no one there.

I screwed up and have now been set to ignore by pretty much all users. No, I don't have any [I]real[/I] issues. I spend most of my days on FP now. It affects my feelings too much.

I'm not sure this is normal, but I'm just wondering if it's usual to get extended, like, nearly week long periods of feeling like absolute shit, and then going back to normal for a few days, and doing it, almost like a cycle. My anxiety tends to bring it on quicker, and it's like a persistent, less annoying yet still lingering sadness in the background.

I've been telling my parents that i found some friends and when i leave in the afternoons im hanging out with them But the truth is that i just walk around aimlessly and i listen to music,this way my parents finally stop bothering me. Thats some sad shit isn't it?

[QUOTE=Weirdness;47075891]There is no one cause of depression. A change in anything in your brain, from ABI/TBI to a lack of a single neurotransmitter can cause a whole range of symptoms classic of depression. Of course diet has a role to play but to say that diet is the end-all of depression is ridiculous. Additionally it's important to exercise and have a healthy diet sure but to stave off medication because it "changes your brain chemistry" is stupid. There's a ridiculous amount of things in both diet and nature that can change and influence our neurotransmitters every day, and you act as if only medications do that. You're scaremongering people who need help the most to avoid the very things that will get them through.[/QUOTE] I can "cure" mine using diet and a healthy lifestyle. Life is joyful experience, if your depressed your also not enjoying it fully, relying on medications gets you through, to experience another day you just need to get through. Get through to what, the day you don't have depression, or the day you realize why depression is depressing.

Not really depression or so, but I did spend some time here quite a while ago. Don't really know who to complain to either. But, my "best friend" of TEN years just pretty much decided that he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. And I just don't know why. It really bums me out.

[QUOTE=Fort83;47110327]I have so much difficult finding a job, and I really need one now. I'm living at home basically mooching off them. I've been accepted to a college for Sept and I'm working towards getting into the military part time. But I need a job and I hate myself for not being a good enough son to my parents. I've wasted so much time and money, mine and theirs.[/QUOTE] Don't worry mate, this is a feeling everybody gets at some point. Only lucky people go straight from school to a job or college to a job. I was unemployed for 6 months and it was horrible, but i managed to find a job. Unfortunately i dont like it and im looking for something else but it'll do for now.

[QUOTE=Fort83;47113361]I get that, I've had times where I didn't find something for months. But if I can't find one soon I can't go back to school.[/QUOTE] Don't just search for jobs. What i did was i just sent my CV into loads of places, even if they didn't have a "vacancies" sign. I just went to the desk, asked if they had any vacancies, they say no but i just went "Can i just give you my CV for future reference if something comes up in the next few weeks?" and then wait. I handed in about 11 CV's to shops. only 3 of them had vacancies, and 4 of them that said they didn't have vacancies and left my CV in they phoned me up for an interview :) So it always helps!

Anyone feeling down? I'll totally play a game with you (if it's BF4 or Advanced Warfare on PS4 or MCC on Xbox One ) or chat with you in Facebook and we can talk and chill while playing or you can vent shit to me and I'll be happy to listen. :)

I'm not sure if this is really the place for it, and I have a feeling you guys are going to think its silly, but since someone told me stress and anxiety go hand in hand... well, I think I have a problem. I tend to get really anxious during periods of high stress, especially now with uni going on and such. A lot of people do. But what I've noticed is that I seem to get very visibly stressed. For example, a week ago I was in my art class trying to do a really difficult assignment. I was trying to structure my page when I just started to seize up and couldn't make any progress. Time goes by and the clock ticks down, and I start getting frustrated, so I start playing with my hair, rubbing it back and forth and so on... that turns to ripping my hair out, which led to feeling angry, which led to giggling at it uncontrollably (not too loud, remember I'm still in class during this whole thing), which, by the end of class, leads me to start to hyperventilate right in the middle of class and feel like I might pass out or puke. I know I was shaking a lot for a little bit, until I finally got a hold of myself. It felt like I went through all 5 stages of grief very quickly, or something like that. I've always done stuff like pull my hair out (although not as bad as this time), but it seems like its getting worse and more frequent as the year goes on. Sometimes, it leads me to snap at people, especially the people I love, and I don't want to get angry or yell at them or anything, but sometimes I'm just overcome by it. I guess what I hope to accomplish is, has anyone here had problems like mine before? How do you control yourself? Is it normal to do stuff like this?

[QUOTE=Fhenexx;47116323]I'm not sure if this is really the place for it, and I have a feeling you guys are going to think its silly, but since someone told me stress and anxiety go hand in hand... well, I think I have a problem. I tend to get really anxious during periods of high stress, especially now with uni going on and such. A lot of people do. But what I've noticed is that I seem to get very visibly stressed. For example, a week ago I was in my art class trying to do a really difficult assignment. I was trying to structure my page when I just started to seize up and couldn't make any progress. Time goes by and the clock ticks down, and I start getting frustrated, so I start playing with my hair, rubbing it back and forth and so on... that turns to ripping my hair out, which led to feeling angry, which led to giggling at it uncontrollably (not too loud, remember I'm still in class during this whole thing), which, by the end of class, leads me to start to hyperventilate right in the middle of class and feel like I might pass out or puke. I know I was shaking a lot for a little bit, until I finally got a hold of myself. It felt like I went through all 5 stages of grief very quickly, or something like that. I've always done stuff like pull my hair out (although not as bad as this time), but it seems like its getting worse and more frequent as the year goes on. Sometimes, it leads me to snap at people, especially the people I love, and I don't want to get angry or yell at them or anything, but sometimes I'm just overcome by it. I guess what I hope to accomplish is, has anyone here had problems like mine before? How do you control yourself? Is it normal to do stuff like this?[/QUOTE] Man what you had was a panic attack. those are usually a symptom of high anxiety. If you think that it;s a problem, it probably is. It is ok to ask for help. Nobody who is familiar with anxiety problems will tell you to tough it out or that you're making it up or that it's not that bad.

[QUOTE=GeneralSpecific;47116436]Man what you had was a panic attack. those are usually a symptom of high anxiety. If you think that it;s a problem, it probably is. It is ok to ask for help. Nobody who is familiar with anxiety problems will tell you to tough it out or that you're making it up or that it's not that bad.[/QUOTE] Is it possible I might have just been overreacting? I mean, I just couldn't imagine it was an actual panic attack, it wasn't like I felt like I had a heart attack or actually fainted. Besides, I'd be more than happy living with panic attacks if I just didn't lash out at people, that's becoming the main problem with me. I'm not sure if I have anger issues or what, but I've been yelling at people very often lately, and I'm talking full out yelling at them on the top of my lungs, and I just don't want to be some bitter angry person that just takes everything out on people.

I'm going to see a general physician tomorrow. Kinda nervous but a little excited. My anxiety has been terrible my whole life. And I've been terribly depressed off and on for a while.

-snipped- oh fuck I did not want to start the page nooooo ifeel bad now i'm sorry

[QUOTE=Fhenexx;47116639]Is it possible I might have just been overreacting? I mean, I just couldn't imagine it was an actual panic attack, it wasn't like I felt like I had a heart attack or actually fainted. Besides, I'd be more than happy living with panic attacks if I just didn't lash out at people, that's becoming the main problem with me. I'm not sure if I have anger issues or what, but I've been yelling at people very often lately, and I'm talking full out yelling at them on the top of my lungs, and I just don't want to be some bitter angry person that just takes everything out on people.[/QUOTE] There's not one specific way for a panic attack to feel. I don't think it actually matters whether or not you had a panic attack. The main point I want to make is that it seems like you know that there's something wrong, and that's a good sign to ask for help. Being aware of a problem is a huge step towards getting better.

For anyone feeling really down try Siberian Ginseng. Its helped me out a ton by lowering my anxiety, better overall sleep with really vivid dreams, and some great mood lift. Everything the doctors have had me on which ranges from SSRI's to anti-psychotics all ended up with me getting very suicidal and making things much worse. The reason I think it works well for me is I'm guessing ADHD is the cause of my problems. Whatever the case may be it has helped much more than anything else I've tried. In the US I know its not labeled as Siberian Genseng so you may want to google search before getting it if you live there.

I got fired today, which I'll have to undergo work for the doll. Basically they make you do some horrible job to get welfare payments. It's soul crushing.

[QUOTE=Fhenexx;47116639]Is it possible I might have just been overreacting? I mean, I just couldn't imagine it was an actual panic attack, it wasn't like I felt like I had a heart attack or actually fainted. Besides, I'd be more than happy living with panic attacks if I just didn't lash out at people, that's becoming the main problem with me. I'm not sure if I have anger issues or what, but I've been yelling at people very often lately, and I'm talking full out yelling at them on the top of my lungs, and I just don't want to be some bitter angry person that just takes everything out on people.[/QUOTE] Lay off the weed for a while?

First time I share my problems with anyone. I always try to keep positive attitude and I'm very introverted so I have pretty much no one to talk about my worries. Even my family members. Yesterday I failed my second attempt at the state exam for my bachelor degree. Through high school and about half the time at university I was above average student but then something changed. I just can't concentrate on studying anyomre and in few months I have last chance to get it. I have a good part-time job and I was very careful with my money so I'm not facing any terrible scenario. Well, yet. I'm hoping to get my shit together for the last attempt. But this past year I kept waking up with thoughts about still not having my degree, time with my father which whom I had great time and visited quite often, got damaged because I didn't want to hear again and again about not having my degree. Even more when my older brother gets involved. The little time I played video games was when basically no one could catch me playing them. Now I'm not saying I hate them for this, the only person to blame here is me but I just wish I didn't have to fear and choose my words carefully so this topic doesn't come up.

Never slept for 17 hours before. Feels as though my body just wants to shut down.

Fucking hell. Missplaced the house keys just a little too far and my parents went like: Where the fuck are the keys?? while i was playing some csgo. And then i went berserk mode (i was already pissed and tired back there) and made a whole fucking drama finding those. We did find them eventually, but the push against the suicide motions just went a bit too far back there. Sometimes i just wonder why i live. What's the fucking point of living? I need a good break from gaming right now to sort out myself.

I wish I had someone to talk to about how I feel. But at the same time I really don't want to talk to anyone because they wouldn't understand. I just keep everything to myself [editline]11th February 2015[/editline] I wish I could be happy like everyone else

So I'm finally getting better. After last post I got hit by an pretty bad case of the influenza which knocked me straight on my ass due to everything happiness for the past days. Because my family don't know about my feelings and the depression they didn't think of it too much. "It's just an influenza, lay down and you'll be fine." The last 4 days have been a nightmare. I don't know if I slept or if I passed back and forth in the hallucinations I had while trying to sleep. They ranged from bizzare things such as I had to scaffle coal into a locomotive and in the next "dream" I was laying in bed, but there was loud music playing downstairs. Everyone was asleep and when I went down it became all silent, like I wasn't invited. I also probably had temperatures from 96F - 107F, changing in an hour or so. Not even joking, I nearly passed out for no reason because all of a sudden I got so hot that my whole body started to itch like someone rubbing wool on you in the sun. Due to my hunger being ancient for these days I've lost 5 kilos in 2 days which actually boosted my "training habit" again. Also I barely talked to anyone while I was sick and so the thoughts started to come. "What are you doing with your life?" "When are you going to do that?" Everything came back. Full force, but I managed to sort it out today be not thinking too much about it. Decided that after 3 days of full stop and laying about, I had to do something. Smash Brothers 64 saved my sanity I believe. But thigs might change. I'm going to settle myself again and try to "conquer" my life again. I just need to try. Now I feel so empty, because I don't really care that all my friends that don't care about me are moving away from me. I literally can't care less at this moment. That'll probably change, so I'll live in the moment. I love you guys, remember that if everything is dark.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;47121337]I wish I had someone to talk to about how I feel. But at the same time I really don't want to talk to anyone because they wouldn't understand. I just keep everything to myself [editline]11th February 2015[/editline] I wish I could be happy like everyone else[/QUOTE] I feel your pain.