Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

I know this thread really isn't for stress-related things, but I have a very bad tendency to tear my hair out during times of rather heavy stress (e.g. test that's going wrong, drawing that I can't get to work right, etc). Has anyone else here had a similar problem? Do you know how I can stop from doing it? I mean, I've been taking out pretty large clumps of hair lately, and I really really don't want to keep doing it.

[QUOTE=Fhenexx;47222401]I know this thread really isn't for stress-related things, but I have a very bad tendency to tear my hair out during times of rather heavy stress (e.g. test that's going wrong, drawing that I can't get to work right, etc). Has anyone else here had a similar problem? Do you know how I can stop from doing it? I mean, I've been taking out pretty large clumps of hair lately, and I really really don't want to keep doing it.[/QUOTE] Sounds like [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania]Trich[/url] to me, I've had it for forever and I still need to get treatment for it. :<

My brother and sisters and I have called the cops on our own mother multiple times because she was completely out of control and violent while drunk. I feel bad for even resorting to that but we had no choice. I remember my mom saying she couldn't even trust her own children because of that and it hurt. I want to ask her about it now that she's better but I don't really want to bring it up. I feel like a bad person

I promised myself to stop posting here but I just don't know what to do with my life Writting a paragraph won't make a difference. Nothing seems to do it. I just don't have the will to do anything. [editline]27th February 2015[/editline] Honestly the only thing that's keeping me from offing myself is my parents. I just can't hurt them even though I want to go up to them and say "You both fucking failed as a parent" [editline]27th February 2015[/editline] I cried. I cried so much. I'm glad I did because it lets me know I'm still human; I've been trying to cry to just let it all out but I couldn't. I cried twice. First I cried because of how fucked up I am, then I got angry and did something I shouldn't have, and then I cried again realizing that I did something I shouldn't have.

Been on antifungals since about September last year. My health has finally come back to normal and my mood is consistently good now (with a few dips sprinkled throughout occasionally). I still can't believe that it was a goddamn fungal overgrowth. I'm still burning money on supplements and treatments but the fact that I can actually work more shifts to pay for it all makes it moot. I'm finally me again. I've even regained my motivation and even my ability to imagine clearly, which is a boon for me since I love to create fun things in my head. I've started to seriously get back into drawing (though it's slow at the moment since the antifungals also flare up my UC if I'm not careful, so I have to balance it carefully else I'm too tired to try). Still have some inflammation in my eye but so long as my colitis is in check it's never a problem. The future is finally looking good.

started up with some anti psychotics named Abilify this Monday, and it makes me feel like absolute shit. like a king of turds. I'm restless, drained of energy, nauseous to the point where I often gulp up stuff I've drank/eaten, nasty belches, really dizzy and disoriented, dry mouth as well as increased saliva in my mouth (???), ughhhh. to think that this medicine usually doesn't start affecting me positively until 2-3 weeks has passed. this is going to be a fun few weeks while I suffer from all these side effects. my feeling of everything being unreal is just as strong as always, though I've become more functional in social situations which is awesome. I still feel like shit, but it's better

I'm so concerned over my own looks, specifically my own weight and body. it's frustrating that whenever I've tried to exercise, I've always given up shortly after. I feel like a lot of issues with myself revolves around my body so it'd be great if I actually were to stand in it for once. I envy those who grew up slim, I'd do so much to be in their place. I imagine a lot of things would be better if I didn't grow up in an environment where unhealthy food was so accessible! I would never have been bullied, I could have lived a more healthy life. I'm thinking I should get back to exercising, but right now I can't anyway. I gotta wait for this psychotic episode to fade before I'm capable of anything like that. so much I want to do which is impossible right now. life would be absolutely amazing if I had a slim body. [editline]27th February 2015[/editline] you know what the worst thing about Abilify is? I'm having non stop hiccups, it's so annoying oh my god. I've pretty much had hiccups all week, non stop, when will this stop!?

I've been recently going to a therapist at my college and apparently I have depression. I always knew I had some sort of depression but I've denied it for years and never really thought why I needed it. But my recent girlfriend really made my depression a lot worse because I always worry that she'll leave me. I did more research and I have atypical depression because of my overly sensitive nature to rejection. I literally have sleepless nights where I freak out and overthink my girlfriend would leave me or whatever. And it's bad because if it gets worse she actually would. And I don't want to be dependent on her for my own happiness. I just want to lift this weight that's been in my chest for as long as I can remember. Just being told I have depression was kind of weird... I kind of don't want to accept it but the more I fight it the more I feel it getting worse.

I don't know how to tell my job I need time for therapy. I don't think they would understand and I work pretty much every day I'm starting to hallucinate when under extreme stress

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;47232370]I don't know how to tell my job I need time for therapy. I don't think they would understand and I work pretty much every day I'm starting to hallucinate when under extreme stress[/QUOTE] If you work in a big company, they are p much required to give you time for it. If you work in a little company, they will probs understand.

I never feel satisfied with what I spend my money on. I always keep thinking I could have spent it on something more rational, but if I were to spend it on something rational I always think I could have spent it on something more entertaining and "fun to buy". there's always this thought I could have spent it on something better, something even more entertaining, something of more value to me. I always feel really bitter when I see someone progress on something. I'm worried that they'll become better than me at whatever it may be. sounds like a really dickish thing to even think, but I can't help it. I do my best not to show it, but it feels pretty bad on the inside. no idea why I think like that.

[QUOTE=PredGD;47236637]I never feel satisfied with what I spend my money on. I always keep thinking I could have spent it on something more rational, but if I were to spend it on something rational I always think I could have spent it on something more entertaining and "fun to buy". there's always this thought I could have spent it on something better, something even more entertaining, something of more value to me. [/QUOTE] Money is convenient, but in no case is it mandatory to make you feel any better about yourself. It's nothing more than a resource, and when you begin to treat it like that, you shouldn't be worrying so much about it. [QUOTE]I always feel really bitter when I see someone progress on something. I'm worried that they'll become better than me at whatever it may be. sounds like a really dickish thing to even think, but I can't help it. I do my best not to show it, but it feels pretty bad on the inside. no idea why I think like that.[/QUOTE] Comparing yourself to other people is a sure way to feel down. Every person goes at their own pace with things. And who knows if that person has issues of their own going on in their life that's presumably worse than what you have to currently deal with.

Anyone else experience tics due to stress or anxiety? [editline]1st March 2015[/editline] not the spiders but the involuntary movement of muscles

When I get anxious/nervous/stressed I start rubbing my right ear... I don't know why. Often over tiny things (like making this post)

[QUOTE=cody8295;47236941]Anyone else experience tics due to stress or anxiety? [editline]1st March 2015[/editline] not the spiders but the involuntary movement of muscles[/QUOTE] My fingers (pinky and ringfinger of my right hand) will randomly start moving by themselfs if I get nervous. I also touch my lip a lot

[QUOTE=cody8295;47236941]Anyone else experience tics due to stress or anxiety? [editline]1st March 2015[/editline] not the spiders but the involuntary movement of muscles[/QUOTE] Not really a tic, but I start rubbing the bottom of my shirt between my hands as a comfort thing. I have no idea when it started either; been doing it for as long as I can remember. [editline]2nd March 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;47236637]I always feel really bitter when I see someone progress on something. I'm worried that they'll become better than me at whatever it may be. sounds like a really dickish thing to even think, but I can't help it. I do my best not to show it, but it feels pretty bad on the inside. no idea why I think like that.[/QUOTE] Me to a T. I constantly check on people that I know who work on the same hobbies as me, and I always get depressed when they seem to be progressing and not struggling like I do. Which doesn't help with me trying to progress myself. :v:

[QUOTE=cody8295;47236941]Anyone else experience tics due to stress or anxiety? [editline]1st March 2015[/editline] not the spiders but the involuntary movement of muscles[/QUOTE] For as long as I remember, I involuntarily will twitch either of my arms right before a headache. Tends to be an indicator to grab tylenol or ativan for me.

Ive been having several tics related to stress for a few years now. I've slowly convinced myself that its some form of dystonia

I've taken plenty of time to get over what was wrong. Feeling rejected, losing a close friend, cocooned myself in the home for days, started talking about it with friends, and I eventually felt normal again. But I don't feel any sort of closure from these experiences. No conclusion. It's like, I want to move on, but to what? I'm not really in the position to move away or make any sort of life changes that would give me a fresh start.

[QUOTE=Fhenexx;47222401]I know this thread really isn't for stress-related things, but I have a very bad tendency to tear my hair out during times of rather heavy stress (e.g. test that's going wrong, drawing that I can't get to work right, etc). Has anyone else here had a similar problem? Do you know how I can stop from doing it? I mean, I've been taking out pretty large clumps of hair lately, and I really really don't want to keep doing it.[/QUOTE] Yeah I had this with my eyebrows, but it's mostly my beard now. I'm just glad I didn't get around to my hair. I'd just wear a pair of gloves until you stop making that reflex action.

This is the third job I've been rejected from this year. God, I'm so fucked. I need a better way to deal with stress then crying to sad music for 5 hours.

[QUOTE=cody8295;47236941]Anyone else experience tics due to stress or anxiety? [editline]1st March 2015[/editline] not the spiders but the involuntary movement of muscles[/QUOTE] You might have Tourette's Syndrome. Motor tics are pretty common in people with Tourette's (trust me, I have mild Tourette's).

[QUOTE=LTJGPliskin;47247679]You might have Tourette's Syndrome. Motor tics are pretty common in people with Tourette's (trust me, I have mild Tourette's).[/QUOTE] people without tourette's can get tics or twitches from stress and anxiety.

Alright here's a shitty unorganized post about my problems. I meet girl, girl is cool. I date girl while joining girl's social circle (GIANT FUCKING MISTAKE) because I don't have friends anyway. Girl breaks up with me "not you its me, let's be friends". I decide to remain friends as now I'm part of the circle. Shit is great for awhile... Then I date girl's best friend, let's call her friend. Friend is way better than girl was. I love friend. Friend breaks up with me because girl still likes me. I sort of still Like girl, and express that to her (apparently too soon) and then friend says I was just using her. Well friend broke it off with me so... I don't know. Now skip some uneventful time and we're now here. Girl hates me for some reason, and at this point I'm done always being reasonable and nice. I've started being an asshole to girl because she's a giant bitch to me, and, as I've said, I'm now in the same social circle as girl and friend who hate me. Maybe this is wrong thread tbh but this whole situation of being trapped without friends and with a lot of agression is bringing back my anxiety and depression. I really just don't know what to do. I barely have friends, as the circle tends to side with girl and friend. I just want to die. This shit is so getting old. IM DONE DEALING WITH NONIMPORTANT PEOPLE'S SHIT BUT I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE.

[QUOTE=LTJGPliskin;47247679]You might have Tourette's Syndrome. Motor tics are pretty common in people with Tourette's (trust me, I have mild Tourette's).[/QUOTE] I'm sure it's not that because i can keep the tics in control when im around others or when im busy or happy.

Ever since the military disqualified me from service at meps almost three years ago i've been a god damn mess. I feel like nothing i can do will ever have any sort of meaning, like im a useless sack of shit, like i have no ability to become anyone worth knowing, anyone worth dating, anyone worth admiring or talking to, ive been unable to believe in myself or grow at all, its like time has just stopped and ive been reduced to a husk of my former self. Ive tried to join the military say five times now, and everytime i'm either denied or my recruiter falls of the map, either way it discourages me even more. To be honest the only reason i haven't killed myself by now is because some small part of me refuses to give up, its like im hanging by a thread but wont let go even if it snaps, im clinging to the seemingly false hope that i'll somehow manage to put myself together, which i fail to do every fucking day since on almost every level I feel that nothing i can do will make a difference. I have no faith in myself anymore, I dont see how anyone could, ive failed, ive no right to call myself a man, im nothing, and I just want to die or pull out of this already, im sick and tired of this fucking horrid repetitive cycle of getting hope back just for it to be crushed again. /rant. Sorry for the wall of text.

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How does one deal with depression and being in a relationship? I just feel so isolated and worthless that it's affecting what I think she thinks of me. It's like I can't really trust myself with what i'm feeling and I'm scared to open up about my depression. I've told her that I got diagnosed with it but I don't know how she really feels.

God fucking damn it. I felt like I was starting to get out of the hole, and it already feels like I'm being sucked back in. I hope this is only a one night affair, but I feel like shit right now.

Lately I've felt tired, bored, angsty and generally isolated from my friends. At first I thought it was temporary stress over schoolwork, but I have nothing on my calendar and it's been going on since January. Guess it's time to see a doctor.