Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;47342654]CommitSudoku [img]http://i.imgur.com/Irry3x3.png[/img] Your visitor messages and private messages are disabled so I decided to post it here. I really wanted to let you know how much I appreciated this comment. Your comment really made my day and I am grateful for it.[/QUOTE] Not a problem :). Only just noticed this, I'll change them so that they're on. [editline]21st March 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=RoboChimp;47359773]A quarter of this forum hates me and I'm not certain about why.[/QUOTE] Just lay low for a little while, lurk on posts that you think have people in there that you feel don't agree with you. I've only ever seen you on here, and on movie threads. You seem like a nice guy.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;47366039]Nevermind just cried. Still crying, my cat is with me. My cat has been the only one with me through most of my shit. If I ever loose him [b]I'm killing myself[/b], I love him so much and can't handle the idea of losing him[/QUOTE] Possibly the worst choice you could ever make. As bad as life is and how much dirt it kicks into your face. Overcoming it all is a massive achievement. Each and every day that you solider through is a testment to the power within yourself that you simply do not acknowledge or are even aware of. Extinguishing your own light is not the path that should ever be taken. Each day you go through, every toil and painful memory you endure is a milestone. It may seem negative and it may seem self destructive to force yourself through each and every day. I found this out myself when I tried suicide and was bought back from the darkness that creeps up and takes the remenants of your being. I woke up in a hospital hooked up to machines and IV's confused and broken more than I was before. I realised that as bad as things may be. There is nothing else. There's nothing after life to console, comfort and embrace you. You live once and what you do with that life is what preserves your memories in others. Cutting yourself short of all the great you can achieve if given the chance to flourish would be simply washed away and any paths that would diverge from your being would simply wither and die. You cannot ammend and redirect your life if you erase it. Progress will never and can never be made. It's hard. Believe me I understand but suicide is never the answer. As bad as life may be. Don't ever take your own life. It saddens me [b]now[/b] to realise that we as a species are capable of it and sometimes feel like we have no other avenue of escape from the anguish of life and people as a whole. [editline]21st March 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=RoboChimp;47359773]A quarter of this forum hates me and I'm not certain about why.[/QUOTE] I don't hate you.

after recent events i have a horrid feeling of worthlessness and guilt If there was a way I could change everything, I would without question. I just want to start over, from square one.

being surrounded by success stories really does a great job of reminding me of the not so much of a success story I've had. it's hard not to compare myself to others, especially when I have a strong feeling I could have done better to start off with. I don't understand how people find the energy to do everything they do. I hardy have the energy to stand up, all I do is sleep and rest. so much I want to do which I can't find the energy to pull through with. it quickly feels really meaningless being stuck in a cycle where all that happens in my life which keeps me going is those few, small things I sorta look forward to. even that is becoming tiresome. I don't really feel like I'm going to get anywhere in life, especially with this new feeling of losing touch with reality constantly which I have no idea is temporary or permanent yet. I don't know what to think of to keep me going. as I've written before, I've been thinking that this feeling will go away soon due to meds, but it hasn't. while that feeling is there, I'm not really able to do a whole lot of things. I've ran out of motivational thoughts and uplifting things to look forward to. [editline]21st March 2015[/editline] I filled my life with games when I was younger and for all the years upcoming to isolate myself from the pain which I otherwise had when I was out in the real world. I've filled my life with games and technical stuff up to now, but some time ago my view on games changed pretty drastically. I don't enjoy them like I did before, so I spent time doing technical stuff instead. which I've now gotten tired of and don't feel like doing anymore. what I've lived with for a large duration of my life has sort of faded and isn't there to fill the massive gap it leaves. I don't know what else to put in my hole now that it's empty.

Ended up drinking with some friends, and things started to get a little weird when their mum got home. I don't have any problems with her, I just don't think that I was in a fit state to talk about the things that were going on really.

No where else to post this but lately its been feeling like my head's been splitting, every few seconds I get this indescribable sensation in my head and it is really annoying.

[QUOTE=Jamie1992GSC;47367017]Possibly the worst choice you could ever make. As bad as life is and how much dirt it kicks into your face. Overcoming it all is a massive achievement. Each and every day that you solider through is a testment to the power within yourself that you simply do not acknowledge or are even aware of. Extinguishing your own light is not the path that should ever be taken. Each day you go through, every toil and painful memory you endure is a milestone. It may seem negative and it may seem self destructive to force yourself through each and every day. I found this out myself when I tried suicide and was bought back from the darkness that creeps up and takes the remenants of your being. I woke up in a hospital hooked up to machines and IV's confused and broken more than I was before. I realised that as bad as things may be. There is nothing else. There's nothing after life to console, comfort and embrace you. You live once and what you do with that life is what preserves your memories in others. Cutting yourself short of all the great you can achieve if given the chance to flourish would be simply washed away and any paths that would diverge from your being would simply wither and die. You cannot ammend and redirect your life if you erase it. Progress will never and can never be made. It's hard. Believe me I understand but suicide is never the answer. As bad as life may be. Don't ever take your own life. It saddens me [b]now[/b] to realise that we as a species are capable of it and sometimes feel like we have no other avenue of escape from the anguish of life and people as a whole. [/QUOTE] I'm really sorry to hear that. But for me, it's not about the comfort. I just want all my problems to go away. I can get rid of my problems no matter how I try, I just want all this bullshit to end, I just want things to be better but that can't happen.

[video=youtube;xfSLm7swfp4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfSLm7swfp4[/video] I think this is a good thing for everyone in this thread to at least give a listen. I can't embed for some reason.

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I don't want to post too much in here (eventually I'll stop prefacing posts like this,) but sometimes there's just things I need to say and I don't got anywhere in particular to say'em. There's a lot I have to do to get better, and it's not going to happen very quickly. My mood, my confidence, my self esteem are all tied to what people think of me. It's almost sick just how much I let people affect me just because they might not care for an aspect about me or something I did or didn't do. I was having a good day yesterday, I was making people laugh, making (mostly) better natured jokes than anything inappropriate (though that still did happen,) and yet this girl, this girl I don't know all that well, didn't like it at all. I guess she didn't care for sarcasm, (I even got backed up by a couple folks who thought I was hilarious so I don't know why this bothers me so much,) but just the idea that someone didn't like me gave me pause for the rest of the night. I just got unhappy. I guess I just make bad choices in the people I associate with, or just not informed choices. Since I was little, I pined just to have a friend to do shit with. I got to watch my twin brothers and school friends all have grand, fun times with each other while either avoiding me or tolerating me because my parents got involved,) but I could never make one myself. It's cruel I can't switch this off, being confident in myself is the only way to progress in the things I'm interested in and it's tied directly to the one thing I can't control. I'm not a bad person; I can be funny, I can be nice, I can be creative and knowledgeable and helpful. I'm not bad looking, I'm not an asshole (usually.) And in most cases, that's what shows. So why? I go out of my way to try and help the people I try to make friends with, I talk to them, I try to give good advice when they ask or cheer them up when their down. On a few occasions, I've even spent quite a bit of money on birthdays or special occasions. These same people will also change the subject or avoid answering when I ask to play games or hang out or talk or they just flat out never speak to me unless I say hi first. I'm going to switch gears though, for my own sake. I know this'll get better, somehow. It has to. I can't stop trying, not now. I can't get much lower unless I wanted to harm myself and I don't. I just want to get better, I want people to actually want to spend time with me, to like me. Someday that's gotta happen.

Since starting college I made the mistake of being a recluse and not really getting to connect with anyone in my dorm or anyone on campus. Fast forward 8 months from now, I'm still in the same position, as most people already have their own groups and shit. Plenty of friends back home but none here. Shit sucks dude. Going weeks without talking to someone, other than online, can be difficult.

[QUOTE=Maksim;47372465]Since starting college I made the mistake of being a recluse and not really getting to connect with anyone in my dorm or anyone on campus. Fast forward 8 months from now, I'm still in the same position, as most people already have their own groups and shit. Plenty of friends back home but none here. Shit sucks dude. Going weeks without talking to someone, other than online, can be difficult.[/QUOTE] ahahaha I'm about to graduate next year and I have made no friends at all at my university

[QUOTE=I Am Dumb;47372022][video=youtube;xfSLm7swfp4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfSLm7swfp4[/video] I think this is a good thing for everyone in this thread to at least give a listen. I can't embed for some reason.[/QUOTE] Hell yeah! That's the type of thing I wanted to talk about in [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1456767]this thread[/url]. We truly are creators of our own worlds. Powerful video.

Okay well fine, just get worse. See if I care. Honestly, I don't deserve this. I don't deserve feeling like this, I don't deserve the constant hang-ups, I don't deserve any of it. It's been like this since I was born, I don't [I]know[/I] how to fix it. Even if I had what I wanted, I'd still be like this. I'll just keep driving away every single person who ever dares care, and then I'll whine no one cares. Seriously, I'm not even sure if I rationally believe it'll get better. Life in this area has had minor peaks but the whole damn place has had major fucking valleys. I want it over, I want it gone. How the hell do I tell this part of me to fuck off? I don't want it or need it. [I]I hate it.[/I]

[QUOTE=Gar;47377516]Okay well fine, just get worse. See if I care. Honestly, I don't deserve this. I don't deserve feeling like this, I don't deserve the constant hang-ups, I don't deserve any of it. It's been like this since I was born, I don't [I]know[/I] how to fix it. Even if I had what I wanted, I'd still be like this. I'll just keep driving away every single person who ever dares care, and then I'll whine no one cares. Seriously, I'm not even sure if I rationally believe it'll get better. Life in this area has had minor peaks but the whole damn place has had major fucking valleys. I want it over, I want it gone. How the hell do I tell this part of me to fuck off? I don't want it or need it. [I]I hate it.[/I][/QUOTE] Look into cognitive behavior therapy. Also face yourself because you have to love yourself to be happy. I read all the stuff on here and it puts a smile on my face hearing about people suffering. I love myself though even if it does make me a bit of a horrible person to enjoy others suffering. With people I love though I can't stand to see them suffer. Random people though are just things I use for amusement. At the end of the day just love yourself and accept who you are.

[QUOTE=DELL;47377594]Look into cognitive behavior therapy. Also face yourself because you have to love yourself to be happy. I read all the stuff on here and it puts a smile on my face hearing about people suffering. I love myself though even if it does make me a bit of a horrible person to enjoy others suffering. With people I love though I can't stand to see them suffer. Random people though are just things I use for amusement. At the end of the day just love yourself and accept who you are.[/QUOTE] Being happy def don't mean you gotta find amusement in the suffering of others

[QUOTE=DELL;47377594]Look into cognitive behavior therapy. Also face yourself because you have to love yourself to be happy. I read all the stuff on here and it puts a smile on my face hearing about people suffering. I love myself though even if it does make me a bit of a horrible person to enjoy others suffering. With people I love though I can't stand to see them suffer. Random people though are just things I use for amusement. At the end of the day just love yourself and accept who you are.[/quote] Well, you've made me glad I'm no longer an edgy teenager, so thanks for that.

I am pretty genuinley fucked in the head. Aspergers II, Manic Bipolar Schizoaffective, PTSD. I don't really feel joy or happiness in my life anymore for some reason. I don't dream. Every day is almost the same. Either that or I just want to tear my own skin. I feel like living my life is a debt owed. Only way I've coped is just taking it day to day. That's about it. I can't explain how I feel too well either, for some reason.

[QUOTE=Gar;47378088]Well, you've made me glad I'm no longer an edgy teenager, so thanks for that.[/QUOTE] I'm glad I can help, not sure why it made you glad about not being a edgy teenager though.

Yesterday I got word my grandmother got transferred into hospice care. This morning she passed on from terminal lung cancer that she was diagnosed with 7 months ago. My world feels a lot emptier now. It really hasn't hit me yet, but I'm certain it will soon.

I've taken a big step, and halved the dosage on my SSRI's. Feeling that I have more energy and more emotions. Also, I've started doing mindfulness meditation 1-2 times a day. Helps me heaps, since it's just relaxing and concentrating on your breathing.

How the fuck do you cope with ocd? I fucking hate it so much. I'm up all night because if somethings bothering me I need to do something about it. I try to ignore it but I cant. I don't think it's ever going to get better.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;47384305]How the fuck do you cope with ocd? I fucking hate it so much. I'm up all night because if somethings bothering me I need to do something about it. I try to ignore it but I cant. I don't think it's ever going to get better.[/QUOTE] Do something about it, unless it is not possible. I have to keep everything at a certain level of clean or else it drives me mad. Use to be worse where if anything was out of place I'd flip right out. It's all in your head so try some mediation.

I seem to be making my way out of depression. What I really need is anger management, better idea of activity in social environments and jealousy, I get jealous of other peoples skills all the time and assume that because other people are better than me and assume it means I should give as these people are clearly born with a higher capacity to achieve what they're good at. Hopefully by this time next year I'll have full time employment and a girlfriend.

[QUOTE=DELL;47384606]Do something about it, unless it is not possible. I have to keep everything at a certain level of clean or else it drives me mad. Use to be worse where if anything was out of place I'd flip right out. It's all in your head so try some mediation.[/QUOTE] I know it's all in my head. I just always gotta make sure the door is locked and I check it a hundred times. I also have to make sure everything is closed and off. Even if I know something is closed I have to check it or I won't stop thinking about it

I decided to cut down on my drinking because I'm starting to realize I don't want to rely on something that only makes me feel good temporarily

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;47384305]How the fuck do you cope with ocd? I fucking hate it so much. I'm up all night because if somethings bothering me I need to do something about it. I try to ignore it but I cant. I don't think it's ever going to get better.[/QUOTE] Hi! I would suggest making a list of literally everything you need to do to sate your mind (preferably on Google Docs or a virtual document so you can edit it), which in itself might also soothe your mind, and then just do the checklist every morning/night, and then doublecheck it if need be. The list will give you order which itself is comforting and having a self-double-checked list of what you know you need to do is also a good way to keep you at ease, because you can keep the day's current list beside you to remind yourself of what you've done. My own OCD with regards to being similar to yours is mainly about what I keep in my pockets and is often just keeping everything organised as it becomes disorganised or just whenever I do something to do it.. my correct way I suppose. I don't know how you fare with your own stuff but this is my advice. Everyone's mind is different, though, as are the severities of each disorder. So yeah, I hope this helps at least a bit

I woke up after being passed out and i think i went on a tirade of self harm because i am an actual mess right now. I dont even know what i took. I really need help, but i'm too afraid. I'm going away in 2 weeks abroad and i cant even control myself.

Don't know what to do any more. Still don't know who I am. Don't know what I enjoy doing. Everyone has found their calling, whilst I'm just here, rotting away. More than half the time I don't know why I bother getting out of bed every morning just to do absolutely fuck all every day. Not to mention that whenever I say what I think, I get the shit ripped out of me. So I just choose to keep quiet.

[QUOTE=FreyasFighter;47395859]Don't know what to do any more. Still don't know who I am. Don't know what I enjoy doing. Everyone has found their calling, whilst I'm just here, rotting away. More than half the time I don't know why I bother getting out of bed every morning just to do absolutely fuck all every day. Not to mention that whenever I say what I think, I get the shit ripped out of me. So I just choose to keep quiet.[/QUOTE] Unless your getting out of bed and staring at a wall without moving you aren't doing fuck all. Say what you think even if you do get the shit ripped out of you, then follow up with that's just like your opinion man. Fuck you also works but won't piss them off as much. Its all perspective and no one has a calling at all. Everyone changes after say 10 years they might just go well fuck it I don't want to be a lawyer anymore I'm gonna be a restaurant owner. [editline]25th March 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;47395616]I woke up after being passed out and i think i went on a tirade of self harm because i am an actual mess right now. I dont even know what i took. I really need help, but i'm too afraid. I'm going away in 2 weeks abroad and i cant even control myself.[/QUOTE] Just go get help there is nothing to be afraid of they are there to help you. The only thing to be afraid of is what will happen to you if you don't get the help. Which will most likely be a very shitty short life where all you want to do is die.