Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

No one at uni knows that I suffer with depression because I always seem very happy and make jokes a lot. Ive been fine up until recently, but now I just struggle to find motivation, I feel incredibly lonely and insecure. But because at uni no on knows my issues I feel like I can't tell people how I'm feeling, it's making me feel very helpless.

[QUOTE=CommitSudoku;47439435]Hey man, sent you a friend request on Steam if you ever want to talk. I'm here for any of you guys.[/QUOTE]What is your user name?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;47441552]What is your user name?[/QUOTE] Machine, the Doubtable

It's Autism Awareness Day! I thought I'd share it with people on this forum The autistic spectrum is huge and many are more vulnerable to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, especially later on in life and because of this can make many feel isolated. For anyone with any form of Autism if you ever feel like that I'm sure people will agree this is the perfect place to share your thoughts and feelings.

I got superscribed Lexapro and Klonopin yesterday. half a lexapro for the first 10 days. I took half yesterday evening and i got kinda sleepy but that might have been me being tired from driving to seattle and having my first appointment. For anyone else on ssri's when do you take yours?

[QUOTE=Castle;47444202]I got superscribed Lexapro and Klonopin yesterday. half a lexapro for the first 10 days. I took half yesterday evening and i got kinda sleepy but that might have been me being tired from driving to seattle and having my first appointment. For anyone else on ssri's when do you take yours?[/QUOTE] I take mine in the evening, when I first started they made me quite ill and sleepy... I always recommend evenings just in-case you do have any side effects

[QUOTE=Castle;47444202]I got superscribed Lexapro and Klonopin yesterday. half a lexapro for the first 10 days. I took half yesterday evening and i got kinda sleepy but that might have been me being tired from driving to seattle and having my first appointment. For anyone else on ssri's when do you take yours?[/QUOTE] I've always just take it first thing in the morning but it did make me sleepy and yawn a lot the first week. Hasn't happened to me after 2 weeks tho.

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I'm 19 and I still don't know how to take a compliment, or a gift.

Well, it could be worse; you could be 22 and never get either one.

Man fuck this day. I'm sick of people's shit but I can't do anything about it. I've been pushed around like a bitch throughout my life and I just took it. I bottled it up. When I fight back I just get shut down. Fuck my parents Fuck my friends Fuck my life I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. In the 7th grade some 9th grader pinned me against a locker and tried wrapping me in tape. I stood up for myself and I got punched hard. People fucking laughed at me and some other guy was considering punching me again. I had a breakdown the next class. I burst into tears. I lied saying I remember nothing so I wouldn't get into any more shit so I was sent to the hospital. Someone reported it. I don't know who but someone did. Nothing really happened, his parents didnt care, the school gave him like a week suspension. I was bullied throughout school, I would just fucking take it. Grades 2 to 11. It was funnier to them when I gave a reaction. My "friends" even bullied me. I got shit grades because I had no motivation, my parents shat on me for getting terrible grades. Then I came to facepunch to try and fit in but the easy little target of a shit I was, I was also harrassed by the GMF which is pretty standard for someone who's been fucked in the ass when it comes to life. I still get shit flung at me to this very fucking day and I can't handle it. I honestly should just end my life right fucking now but I'm ironically too much of a bitch to fucking do it. There's a large bottle of crown royale that my father bought for me when I was born. I'm considering downing the entire thing to give myself alchohol poisoning.

Alcohol poisoning will just suck and you'll regret that. School sucks. Just tough it out. We're all friend here if you wanna play vidya or talk.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;47453399]I'm 19 and I still don't know how to take a compliment, or a gift.[/QUOTE] Just take what it is that you get politely, smile, and appreciate that someone has gone out of their way to do, or give you something c: .

Yeah man if you want me to hit you up on steam I can and you can talk to me about whatever, I've been through the same kinda stuff so I know the feeling. Always wanna help people get outa that slump. Just gimmie a pm or reply and I'll add you.

I've gotten really tired of the ward lately. I'm not looking forward to go back on Monday at all. I just want to stop going there, stay at home. at the same time, I don't really have any plans other than to isolate myself again if I were to leave the ward completely, but I don't think the ward is really helping either. I don't know what to do with this, I suppose I should just keep going there. its become hard to think as well. it's all just a cluttered mess up in my head which I can't properly read. words come out of my mouth so it's not like it's a complete mess, but it's still a big, untidy mess. I only have the essentials in reach so to say, the rest is buried under a large mess which I can't move. I feel a strong need to vent about stuff right now, but I just find myself staring at the screen instead. it's almost like the words and experiences I'm trying to find are inaccessible. I know they're there, I just don't know what they are.

Well I got drunk tonight, and stuff got a little weird - my mum told me that some of my younger nieces and nephews, tried to kill themselves, and stuff - it just got a little too much and I ended up breaking down. I'm not really sure how to feel about things.

Forgive the structure of this sentence from sounding like a meme but. That feel when losing trust in a friend to the point you'd rather not talk to them again. [editline]5th April 2015[/editline] Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I know something will end up blowing up in my face because of it, and I'll have to start over from square one.

I passed highschool with barely passable grades because I never had much motivation or goals, never had an acceptable home or school environment and not many friends at all either. Others are better at coping, or like me during the moment I didn't care about friends or anything much. (Besides keeping close one or two good friends, no more besides that) But at the end of the day you're not alone in this. Don't bottle yourself up now because you will regret it in the future, it's a self-destructive habit. Good thing my boss agrees with me that the public school system is pretty shit.

Why the fuck do I feel this way? Everything in my life is great, I have good things going for me, I have great friends, incredible people surround me. But it's always accompanied with a sense of just dread and just nothing. Like all of this is fleeting so what the fuck is the point and why do I feel so shitty all the time even though there's great things happening. SHouldn't I be happy? Yeah shitty things happen to me but the great things should outweigh it but why do I feel like the bad things just are crushing me? The thought of killing myself has come up more often. It's just like what's the fucking point of living life when this shit is happening?? I'd really like to just fucking solve this problem in my head and get it over with. I just feel like a burden on everyone for even feeling this way. I feel guilty I have all of this opportunity and I'm just fucking throwing it all away. But I can't get myself to even do anything because this feeling is so overwhelming. FUCK I FUCKING HATE THIS

[QUOTE=Rammaster;47460789]Why the fuck do I feel this way? Everything in my life is great, I have good things going for me, I have great friends, incredible people surround me. But it's always accompanied with a sense of just dread and just nothing. Like all of this is fleeting so what the fuck is the point and why do I feel so shitty all the time even though there's great things happening. SHouldn't I be happy? Yeah shitty things happen to me but the great things should outweigh it but why do I feel like the bad things just are crushing me? The thought of killing myself has come up more often. It's just like what's the fucking point of living life when this shit is happening?? I'd really like to just fucking solve this problem in my head and get it over with. I just feel like a burden on everyone for even feeling this way. I feel guilty I have all of this opportunity and I'm just fucking throwing it all away. But I can't get myself to even do anything because this feeling is so overwhelming. FUCK I FUCKING HATE THIS[/QUOTE] That's mental illness. Depression, anxiety. There isn't a magic switch to make it better. You need help and there is nothing wrong with that. What you are going through is not your fault. Asking for help right now is the most difficult and best thing you can do for yourself and everybody around you. Help is there in all sorts of ways and you don't have to do it alone. Just reach out to somebody. A relative, a teacher, a friend, somebody you don't know on the other end of a phone line or a keyboard.

Today was the first okay day I've had in a long time. I wish that the feeling of "everything is all right, your fiance loves you and your friends give a damn" wasn't so fleeting.

[QUOTE=GeneralSpecific;47460875]That's mental illness. Depression, anxiety. There isn't a magic switch to make it better. You need help and there is nothing wrong with that. What you are going through is not your fault. Asking for help right now is the most difficult and best thing you can do for yourself and everybody around you. Help is there in all sorts of ways and you don't have to do it alone. Just reach out to somebody. A relative, a teacher, a friend, somebody you don't know on the other end of a phone line or a keyboard.[/QUOTE] thanks. It's been a rough couple of months. I've been going to therapy and taking medication and opening up about this depression I've ran away for so long and fought alone. But it feels like it's getting stronger now that I'm actually trying to treat it. They say it gets worse before it gets better. I may not be prepared for the worst. I just want to know the ways to fix it. It seems like this nonsensical problem should have a nonsensical solution right??

[QUOTE=Rammaster;47466464]thanks. It's been a rough couple of months. I've been going to therapy and taking medication and opening up about this depression I've ran away for so long and fought alone. But it feels like it's getting stronger now that I'm actually trying to treat it. They say it gets worse before it gets better. I may not be prepared for the worst. I just want to know the ways to fix it. It seems like this nonsensical problem should have a nonsensical solution right??[/QUOTE] I wish I could tell you some weird trick to make it go away but I can't. What I can tell you is what I think is the most important thing to remember no matter what happens. You are not alone.

I've spent the past several days doing literally nothing. I'll sit at the computer and force myself to do something productive, but I'll only ever do a little before my mind goes blank again. I'm bored of video games. I've neglected all my instruments. I still exercise but I hate it. I still go to social gatherings but I always feel ignored and unwanted. I don't know what else I can do because people say they don't think anythings wrong with me, but they never have an explanation or practical advice.

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;47467376]I've spent the past several days doing literally nothing. I'll sit at the computer and force myself to do something productive, but I'll only ever do a little before my mind goes blank again. I'm bored of video games. I've neglected all my instruments. I still exercise but I hate it. I still go to social gatherings but I always feel ignored and unwanted. I don't know what else I can do because people say they don't think anythings wrong with me, but they never have an explanation or practical advice.[/QUOTE] Maybe pick up a book or listen to some music that you've never listened to before, maybe if you think that things are getting a little stranger, than they have been in the past - it might be time to go to a Doctor, and get something prescribed for you? I can recommend some stuff, if you need someone to talk to.

I think I need to stop bothering to work on relationships and open up to people. People complain to me that I don't talk to them and I do'nt open up and then I finally try to and they do nothing but yell at me or spite me or try to make me feel guilty for shit that isn't my fault. Hurts evne more when it's your own mother who used to be the single closest person you had.

had to go to the ER last night because of my 4 day long anxiety attack. lost 12 lbs, couldn't eat much for the entire week really. got prescribed some lorazepam (which im not really gonna take because fuck benzos) and a therapy appt tomorrow.

i need some help here i honestly don't know what's wrong with me, but i'm in one of those moods where the slightest provocation can send me into an uncontrollable rage i don't want it to happen, i'm [i]really[/i] scary to everyone when i get enraged problem is, it's nearly impossible to contain and things such as music/enjoyable things just piss me off even more i have therapy tomorrow and i need your guys' help on suggesting what's wrong with me, i'm so stumped and i want to get it addressed

I don't know whether I'm just really low at the moment, or if I'm genuinely disturbed in the head because of some mental condition. Sometimes I think I hear a voice in my head that's telling me this is the end for me. That I won't get anywhere, will never be happy or won't even know what will make me happy. I'm genuinely scared about going to a doctor about it because I can only see them prescribing me with pills or whatever that will most likely make me feel worse. And even if they don't, and I get diagnosed with depression/anxiety/schizophrenia/whatever the fuck, it's gonna get slapped onto my medical record. It's hard enough trying to keep my resume clear of anything off-putting - in terms of qualifications and experiences - so the last thing I want is for any future employers to check my background and potentially make them think I'm a psychopath that shouldn't be given the job because I won't be able to cope with it. I've spoken to everyone about it. My family, a few friends, all I've got really. I don't think they know what to do. They have no faith in therapy/medicine being the answer so that's why I've never gone through with it. Each night, when they sleep, I'm forced awake. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with fear because there's this temptation to end it. I've thought about 3 different methods of suicide but I never once tried it. I don't want to, but sometimes I end up staying awake all night imaging myself doing it, and I feel like it will eventually become a reality. I'm scared of what I might do. So scared that I can't do anything. I can't talk to my family about it anymore. I can't be alone in the home, I always force myself out in public. I can't go the hospital because I won't know what to tell them. People I've known online for years take my behavior as a joke when I'm trying to be genuine. I've tried absolutely everything and it's made everything worse. I don't want things to go on anymore, I want everything to stop.

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;47471844]I don't know whether I'm just really low at the moment, or if I'm genuinely disturbed in the head because of some mental condition. Sometimes I think I hear a voice in my head that's telling me this is the end for me. That I won't get anywhere, will never be happy or won't even know what will make me happy. I'm genuinely scared about going to a doctor about it because I can only see them prescribing me with pills or whatever that will most likely make me feel worse. And even if they don't, and I get diagnosed with depression/anxiety/schizophrenia/whatever the fuck, it's gonna get slapped onto my medical record. It's hard enough trying to keep my resume clear of anything off-putting - in terms of qualifications and experiences - so the last thing I want is for any future employers to check my background and potentially make them think I'm a psychopath that shouldn't be given the job because I won't be able to cope with it. I've spoken to everyone about it. My family, a few friends, all I've got really. I don't think they know what to do. They have no faith in therapy/medicine being the answer so that's why I've never gone through with it. Each night, when they sleep, I'm forced awake. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with fear because there's this temptation to end it. I've thought about 3 different methods of suicide but I never once tried it. I don't want to, but sometimes I end up staying awake all night imaging myself doing it, and I feel like it will eventually become a reality. I'm scared of what I might do. So scared that I can't do anything. I can't talk to my family about it anymore. I can't be alone in the home, I always force myself out in public. I can't go the hospital because I won't know what to tell them. People I've known online for years take my behavior as a joke when I'm trying to be genuine. I've tried absolutely everything and it's made everything worse. I don't want things to go on anymore, I want everything to stop.[/QUOTE] You've really got to go to the Doctor, it's the only way to make something like this go away - they'll be able to get you the help that you really need. It might be worth maybe taking someone that you can trust with you, just as a little bit of a boost. I'm going with one of my friends on Wednesday, she didn't want to go on her own. Suicide isn't worth it man, there's got to be something that's keeping you here, or you'd have done it already, surely? [editline]7th April 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=MissingNoGuy;47471834]i need some help here i honestly don't know what's wrong with me, but i'm in one of those moods where the slightest provocation can send me into an uncontrollable rage i don't want it to happen, i'm [i]really[/i] scary to everyone when i get enraged problem is, it's nearly impossible to contain and things such as music/enjoyable things just piss me off even more i have therapy tomorrow and i need your guys' help on suggesting what's wrong with me, i'm so stumped and i want to get it addressed[/QUOTE] Just tell them exactly that, and they'll be able to get you some information, and help you find out what it is that's tickin' in your noggin'.