Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

My cat died [video=youtube;WE4CtGQhumU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE4CtGQhumU[/video] watch the entire clip, something happens

First time really posting in this thread I've spoken to a close mate tonight and I've figured that I'm suffering from serious anxiety problems that I've always masked as paranoia I'm always so contempt in making sure I cover my tracks for no good reason, making up excuses and having tremendous guilt and snowballing worries After an incident with a friend it's been apparent that it's time I seek help about this and end this terrible personality disorder before it develops into more things It just sucks that it's taken me 3-4 years to come clean with myself, I feel like shit

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;47684242]First time really posting in this thread I've spoken to a close mate tonight and I've figured that I'm suffering from serious anxiety problems that I've always masked as paranoia I'm always so contempt in making sure I cover my tracks for no good reason, making up excuses and having tremendous guilt and snowballing worries After an incident with a friend it's been apparent that it's time I seek help about this and end this terrible personality disorder before it develops into more things It just sucks that it's taken me 3-4 years to come clean with myself, I feel like shit[/QUOTE] If it's any help, there are many people who go their entire life lying to themselves by saying everything is ok. That you are honest with yourself and have the courage to ask for help puts you miles ahead of them and earns my respect.

Does anyone here take Citalopram or similar antidepressants? Ive been taking them for a long ass time now but recently Ive been feeling a little light headed/dizzy, It's a very similar feeling to when I have been without said medication for a week or so, however Ive been taking them regularly for the past several months.

I'm a guy who lost his job at 28 and due to some what seemed to be a good idea at the time stuck my nose in something's I should not have. I got involved with some people where I had a bad feeling about but ignored it and now paying the price. The crisis has been on going since 2010 and my life gotten very fucked up. I went having money, a car, good credit, a good neighborhood to no money, bad credit, lost my car and live in a ghetto where I lay on the floor and get eaten by bed bugs. It sucks but that's only part of the story. In short its an impossible situation where I feel like due to is nature is ruining me and its hurting down to the very core of my soul. I'm not sure I'm going to get out alive or intact. What made it so bad was I freaked out. Only recently has that been exhausted. I know I shouldn't express it cause it make it worse but I can't bare this cross alo

[QUOTE=Booker K;47677436]I don't know if this is a stupid question but I'm just asking this out of curiousity. Am I being sort of a disturbance to the thread? I know you can use this thread to vent out whatever is on your mind and such, but I feel like the way I'm venting by changing subjects sorta is disturbing the thread. If so, I apologise, I've had a lot on my mind recently, especially since I'm almost finished with high school, and just feel the need to get whatever is currently on my mind off of me.[/QUOTE] This nervous ness and concern of upsetting others is a sign of abuse or bullying. Who hurt you?

If anyone needs someone to talk to or advice with dealing with depression/anxiety I am starting up a live stream at [url]http://www.ustream.tv/channel/free-advice1[/url] if anyone is interested. Even if you just need to vent I am always open to any type of conversation. I know it can be hard to trust someone over the internet but I am really genuanly concerned about you, even though I may not know who you are. You have nothing to lose! You can find me at [url]http://www.ustream.tv/channel/free-advice1[/url] [editline]8th May 2015[/editline] Skype id is: Reese if you want to talk with a mic

[QUOTE=GeneralSpecific;47684882]If it's any help, there are many people who go their entire life lying to themselves by saying everything is ok. That you are honest with yourself and have the courage to ask for help puts you miles ahead of them and earns my respect.[/QUOTE] I was doing that "everything is okay it's just a one time thing" for 3-4 years. When I went to see people or went to places that I didn't mention I was going to I was so contempt on making sure nobody but them knew I kept transactions to a low, followed a time plan to make up for added time etc. it was really pathetic At the end of the day nobody gave a shit where I went it was simply I thought I was on the run from something

Well I just managed to get a spine and stood up for my best friend friend against another friend who was bitching behind her back in a group chat to me. I always knew my friend had had a chip on her shoulder and was sick of just trying to rationalise it, I just left the chat and let her rant. Another friend tried guilt tripping me as if I was the bad party, when all I did was state I am not tolerating abuse of my best friend and ignored the friend who was bitching. She then spiralled into "well you'll miss me, your loss, hope you're happy" in under half an hour. I feel fucking amazing, it's like I ditched a fake friend and I feel so good, I still have my best friend and that, I just ditched a drama queen. It's like I only realised this friend was a bad friend a couple months ago, and I finally managed to be confrontational enough to say "I'm not having this shit" and ignored her.

Any tips for getting over friends who've died? Recently a really good friend of mine commited suicide, I hadn't talked to her in a long time. Shortly after one of the first guys I started talking to at this new school I started at died in a car crash. It's really fucking with me and I'm getting paranoid I'm going to lose more friends. These aren't the first people I've lost but I still have no clue how to handle it [editline]8th May 2015[/editline] Also I am now beating myself up because I post here a bunch because sometimes it seems like you guys help more than the professional I pay to do this...

-more whining w/e-

[QUOTE=DiscoMelon;47683005]The past few days have gotten worse after getting the police called on me after trying to sleep in an open field after not being able to get a ride home between shifts, and afterword being told by a parent that I had failed as an adult, that my time was over and that I should just get out of the way of my younger siblings who have brighter futures.[/QUOTE] Nothing makes me teem with anger more than peoples' parents pulling moves like this. Now, please, I mean absolutely no offense, but what the hell is wrong with them? How the fuck dare they say shit like that to you? If your parents are literally calling their own son a failure then they better look in the fucking mirror because that makes them failures as parents in my book. Listen, man, I've seen your art and you definitely have potential, you're no failure. Please, if nothing else, don't let your parents get to you, because they're wrong. You're no failure because you got handed some really bad cards, you're no mooch because you need help getting to your job, you're no failure because you had to drop out because of your father. Don't let it get to you. Just for surviving all of this makes you a success in my book, you just got to keep going no matter what they say to you or what negative things you say for yourself.

ive honestly posted this in every thread i regular but i'm seriously upset about this issue and i need to vent more my parents went to vegas for a week my sister got a cat my sister now doesn't want the cat, she was crying about it i tried asking why she didn't think she was ready for the cat and she kept saying "I don't know" father told me to take care of it i'm taking care of it i put it in my room but i have to clean up and put away dangerous objects to cats, annoys the shit out of me because this was on short notice sister comes downstairs, sees me angry, says that i can't take care of the cat because im too angry sister starts dictating what i should do and shouldn't do with the cat i almost have half a mind to tell her that she's a fucking moron, but i calm down cat is hanging out with me, she's been annoying the shit out of me while i work on stuff that I'm struggling with for about 8 hours now she literally does nothing all day but fuck around on her ipod or watches shit on youtube on her laptop. she is currently taking her highschool courses online and there is absolutely no reason for her not to take care of her kitten that is under her name i'm currently taking a uni course for one of my most difficult subjects, and im trying to finish a modding project that I want to see done really badly.

I think it would go without saying but if someone who's typically pessimistic is taking a bad situation really well, they don't need a [i]reality check[/i]. Just let them enjoy feeling a little more optimistic about their outlook for a while and don't go reminding them how difficult things could be going from here forward. I lost my job the other day in the worst possible way and with no warning. I was actually handling it pretty well until someone who I hadn't talked to in forever contacts me to "see if I'm okay." I tell him I'm doing fine and he proceeds to assault me with all of the bad things that are probably going to happen since I lost my job and asking me how I'm going to deal with them if they happen. Even when I tried to explain what my general plan was all he did was poke holes in it and tell me I needed contingency plans to handle every one of the numerous flaws he saw with it. I just ended up blocking him after he wouldn't shut the fuck up about me needing to give up any hope of a career in the games industry because it's "so competitive and hopelessly corrupt like seriously why would you even bother lel".

[QUOTE=Bathacker;47688705]I just ended up blocking him[/QUOTE] Smart move.

[QUOTE=Booker K;47688198]Well it's just that several months back, I was dealing with a lot of personal problems, especially concerning a relative of mine who died from cancer, and needed someone to vent to, I tried talking to a good friend about a lot of my issues and somehow it annoyed him, then he got mad at me and told me to "fuck off and get over it". I was pretty hurt by him over that I severed contact with him for being so downright insensitive to me. Since then, I've felt so uncomfortable with trying to explain my problems a lot to people because I'm afraid the same thing will happen to me again, and if it does happen, then I have no idea what to do other than just simply leave. I honestly don't want it to ever happen again.[/QUOTE] if things were better for me I would listen to you. People often told me how insightful I can be concerning human nature. But right now I'm in a hella of my own making. I've become a shut in order to prevent other people getting sick. All I can say is it sounds like your friend maybe dealing with some issues of his own and doesnt want you adding to them with yours. All I can say is I'm probly oldest 1 here I'm 32 and I can say the fact that you're becoming aware of your issues at earlier age in dealing with them going to help you a lot better long run. I've had since a child all sorts emotional problems and that stuff has haunted me it has made me lose jobs girlfriends and a whole lot a massive other problems it's lot better to do it where's your young and more self aware then have that bite you later in life

For the whole school year I've been going to extra languages classes, mainly because I am shit at my own native language, I've been trying so hard to get good grades, I've been sacrificing my own free time to try and learn, to succeed but it's all fucking pointless. It would be bad enough if I was just pissed at my stupid self for not understand or failing to do stuff, but it's my class mates too. They think they're hot shit just because they got a good grade, just because they don't have to go to extra classes and sacrifice their free time to try to learn something. I fucking hate those annoying cunts who always look down at me and I hate myself for not being better at languages.

Having online friends in other cities and parts of the world is great, but I wish I had some Sydney friends to hang out with. It does get lonely being by my self all the time. I think if I can find some people to hang out with I won't feel so bad all the time. Perhaps, I'm wrong. I remember being told a long time ago that life would get much better after I finished high school, but it's been 8 years and I still don't understand people, haven't found anyone I get along with and life just seems dark and difficult. Is there ever going to a point where things are fun and I get along with people or is this just the way it is?

Jung kept a pet rock and that's how he dealt with his problems. Yes I'm talking about Freud's counter part.

Nothing about my life is that bad but I still feel like ending it. I don't understand why. I never talk about it to anyone because they can never give me an answer that makes sense, and they end up making me feel worse about it.

[QUOTE=Booker K;47692572]I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here nor do I see how this relates to my issues. Do you mind elaborating for me?[/QUOTE] There is always options if there is no one to talk to. The sad fact is careful whom you open up to. People change and may use that against you. As for me, I don't care if you talk to me about your life. Ever heard the song "I like it when it only rains?" thats me. Listening to others is a joy to me because it gives me more insight into human nature. However, I did say I am currently going through my own hell and I can't handle anyone else's stuff. If I pull through, I 'll listen but not before then. I am not going to lie to you, I'm in need of a miracle.

Yall can always talk to me when im on skype at: Reese

I might be moved to a 24/7 ward during autumn or winter this year which I have conflicting feelings on. unlike my current ward which is 24/5, effectively 24/4 since I leave so early on Fridays, this is gonna be full time. no more home which I feel worried about. I already feel so tired of the ward, how is this going to work out? I'm really upset that I'm not getting out of the ward any time soon. I'm most likely going to stay at the new ward for 6 months minimum, and after that I'll be moved on to another specialized offer for people who struggle where I might wind up staying for years. I don't really have much else to say, but I feel like venting onward anyway. I'd love comforting words, but what is there really to say? I'm so tired of people discussing my mental health and being stuck at a place where that's the main focus, and I *can't wait* until I'm moved to another place where it remains the main topic, then moved to yet another place where it's, surprise surprise, yet again the main topic. [editline]11th May 2015[/editline] I sorta feel like crying, but nothing is coming. sometimes it'd be great to feel something, but there's not much there. I'm dying to know what this is, but I have a strong feeling I already know. they keep saying it's probably psychosis but haven't given me a diagnosis yet so I feel reluctant to blame psychosis just yet, even though it's most likely that [editline]11th May 2015[/editline] I need something to blame

i'm getting intrusive thoughts about killing this kitten. it keeps trying to wreck my shit an generally annoy this shit out of me "haha aw that's cute" no it fucking isn't. I don't have the patience to deal with dumb bullshit. I never wanted the kitten, I didn't care for the kitten. I thought my sister was going to take care of it but no she cries like a fucking dumb bitch and says "I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE" after the first day and now I have to take care of it. call me insensitive, but I'm sick of my sister's shit. I have half a mind to call her a fucking moron but if I say anything my father would probably give me absolute shit and my relationship with him is broken already. my parents come home tuesday, I absolutely cannot wait for all this bullshit to be solved. usually when my parents are gone for vacation I'm like "thank god peace and quiet" but no, I am absolutely ecstatic about them coming home

Being forced to move out of the house in about 3 months. No idea where to go or what to do. I have no job and getting one that pays decent is difficult. Everything always seems to fall apart for me and I can't seem to just get "settled in" anywhere. Everything is just shit.

[QUOTE=slayer20;47700819]Being forced to move out of the house in about 3 months. No idea where to go or what to do. I have no job and getting one that pays decent is difficult. Everything always seems to fall apart for me and I can't seem to just get "settled in" anywhere. Everything is just shit.[/QUOTE] Do you have friends that could let you kip on their sofas or something, aunties or uncles maybe?

[QUOTE=Thomo_UK;47701001]Do you have friends that could let you kip on their sofas or something, aunties or uncles maybe?[/QUOTE] My mom said I could move into her place, but the "bedroom" I would move into is more like a closet. And it's a one bathroom sort of thing. My cousin offered to let me live with her, but the people she lives with are always so hateful toward one another. I sent a message to some friends asking if they were looking for a room mate.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;47699634]i'm getting intrusive thoughts about killing this kitten. it keeps trying to wreck my shit an generally annoy this shit out of me "haha aw that's cute" no it fucking isn't. I don't have the patience to deal with dumb bullshit. I never wanted the kitten, I didn't care for the kitten. I thought my sister was going to take care of it but no she cries like a fucking dumb bitch and says "I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE" after the first day and now I have to take care of it. call me insensitive, but I'm sick of my sister's shit. I have half a mind to call her a fucking moron but if I say anything my father would probably give me absolute shit and my relationship with him is broken already. my parents come home tuesday, I absolutely cannot wait for all this bullshit to be solved. usually when my parents are gone for vacation I'm like "thank god peace and quiet" but no, I am absolutely ecstatic about them coming home[/QUOTE] If you really don't want the kitten thats okay, but why would you kill it? If you're certain you don't want it at least bring it to a shelter or find someone you know who'd like it.

[QUOTE=Hat-Wearing Man;47702606]If you really don't want the kitten thats okay, but why would you kill it? If you're certain you don't want it at least bring it to a shelter or find someone you know who'd like it.[/QUOTE] I don't want to kill it. I won't ever kill it. But I'm getting these stupid thoughts of killing it.

Can someone answer this question for me? Do people with severe anxiety make rash decision sometimes? The reason I'm asking is, is because I've been talking to this person that I like and they eventually told me they had anxiety issues. Well last night I asked them out on a date and everything up to this point had seemingly been going really well. We set up a time for today and had everything planned out. The last thing was for me grabbing their address. Well they never responded when I asked for it and then I realized they had blocked me from all forms of communication. Really made me upset because I have no idea at all why that even happen. Its like I said things were going really well. So I wonder if this had to do with their anxiety because I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to get a response from them anytime soon. :(