Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=PredGD;47873307]I feel like I'm fucked up beyond help. I know that a diagnosis is just a description of a problem that's already there, but knowing that I actually suffer from schizophrenia is such a terrible feeling. I feel like I won't recover, that I'll forever be stuck in this weird limbo between dreaming and being awake. nothing I do feels real anymore, everything feels like some sort of bad dream. when I spoke with my therapist today I was on the edge of tearing up. I nearly begun tearing up just now. I don't know why, but I have a feeling it's something to do with the diagnosis. I can't look people in the eyes anymore. it just feels uncomfortable. I can barely hold conversations with people since what I do doesn't feel real. even worse to think that I'll most likely suffer from this for a while. only 25% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia actually recover from it. the rest has to live with it. I try to remain optimistic since I believe optimism is very important when it comes to mental issues, but god if it isn't hard right now. [editline]4th June 2015[/editline] I still feel like I can't believe I'm actually schizophrenic. am I experiencing denial? I have no idea. should have mentioned that to my therapist today[/QUOTE] People who are diagnosed with schizophrenia will a lot of the time believe it is a mis-diagnosis. The first part in recovery is to accept you have it, and that it's real. I can see that your intelligent, and understand you have your condition. For many people, it's mind over matter. If you live with it, and know your delusions aren't real, then someday it can fade. (Mi madre is certified and has a masters degree in psychology; I'm not pulling out of my ass). I know it's hard to believe you have it, but a certified therapist who diagnosed you right out of the book with all the symptoms, is correct. Just do know that the medicine you are prescribed for it can kill your determination. Stay as hopeful as you can, and believe in yourself. You can push through problems in your mind. Stay strong! [editline]3th June 2015[/editline] My twin brother has spoke with two people diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. One knows he has it, and tries his hardest without prescription to live with it. He is actually getting better. The other, believes he doesn't have it at all. Every single sympton he shows is part of his condition, but he denies it, like many people with his diagnosis. When asked why he think's his delusions of people always stalking and watching him are real, he cannot come up with a straightforward answer. He is basically in denial.

[QUOTE=PredGD;47873307]I feel like I'm fucked up beyond help. I know that a diagnosis is just a description of a problem that's already there, but knowing that I actually suffer from schizophrenia is such a terrible feeling. I feel like I won't recover, that I'll forever be stuck in this weird limbo between dreaming and being awake. nothing I do feels real anymore, everything feels like some sort of bad dream. when I spoke with my therapist today I was on the edge of tearing up. I nearly begun tearing up just now. I don't know why, but I have a feeling it's something to do with the diagnosis. I can't look people in the eyes anymore. it just feels uncomfortable. I can barely hold conversations with people since what I do doesn't feel real. even worse to think that I'll most likely suffer from this for a while. only 25% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia actually recover from it. the rest has to live with it. I try to remain optimistic since I believe optimism is very important when it comes to mental issues, but god if it isn't hard right now. [editline]4th June 2015[/editline] I still feel like I can't believe I'm actually schizophrenic. am I experiencing denial? I have no idea. should have mentioned that to my therapist today[/QUOTE] Someone in my family has schizophrenia. They had to try a few different medications, but the difference is night and day for them. The medication and your therapist can now use your diagnosis to give you directed help, and you will improve and feel better. It may take time, but know you are taking solid steps on a road to being better. Just stick with it mate

last night I had a small sporadic episode of depression, something I haven't experienced in a while... I'm usually on top of it and it doesn't get to me but last night it hit me pretty hard and all I can say is, I really feel for you guys that have that as a chronic problem, like damn one of my mates bailed on me yesterday with no contact after he'd organized to do something with me in the evening (updated me today saying he fell asleep for too long after going for a nap, he doesn't get a huge amount of sleep in the first place, we hang out pretty regularly so I knew it was unlike him to just bail on me for no reason) but with that time to myself I started dwelling on things in a pessimistic way and it got to that point of depression creeping in on me; I told one of my closer mates this mate didn't show up and he jokingly said "ha, no one likes you", followed shortly by "I kid, i kid, that sucks". We tend to be pretty confrontational and right into it with the shit talking amongst each other so statements like that aren't uncommon in jest between myself and my best friends, we do let each other know when we're joking around, and it may sound ironic that we're best friends but give each other shit like that but they've been nothing but supportive of me and are always there for me without expecting or asking much in return, in the sense that they're the few people I get along really well with that just like me for me not for what I can be used for, we've been best friends since early high school and we're always helping to keep each other going in the right directions with things usually it's fine and no one takes those kinda jokes to heart because we're all on the same, non-serious level but in that state it really hit me deep and had me worried for a moment, to the point where I almost couldn't be sure if I actually had any friends for a little while, but then he helped me get back out of that depression state after I mentioned it so that was reassuring. It might sound weird but in a way, i'm glad he said it when he did because even though he was joking and I took it seriously for a moment within myself, if he hadn't said anything, let alone something that shook me up like that for a moment, I probably wouldn't have brought up the state of depression or had felt like reaching out to anyone about it at all. So really, as bad as it sounds, he kind of said just the right thing at just the right time even though it seems ironic to say that about such a statement. Definitely felt like the world was out to get me for a while there though. I get into those states occasionally because of a lot of past trauma and wasted years by my own doing, as well as heightened sensitivity when my ADHD meds are wearing off, usually one or the other isn't much of an issue but I started dwelling on it in that sensitive state and I kinda let it overcome me for a while. Definitely not the worst i've experienced it in my lifetime, but it still catches me off guard when it does come up like that especially when it coincides with unforeseen events like people not showing up when they organized to do something All's well today, had my first manual driving lesson today which went well, positive outlook again for now

Christ, the worst part of being depressed is not knowing whether you have it seriously enough to justify getting help. I mean, I've never been inside anyone else's head, so I have nothing to compare it to, so how can I ever know? I'm not depressed enough that I'd make a serious attempt on my own life, but I do think about it constantly. I don't really have anyone that's affected by my condition, and I can live through it, and I don't want to jam up the system and lock someone else out that really needs the help. On top of that, I can't have my parents ever know. I couldn't do that to them.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;47874169]Christ, the worst part of being depressed is not knowing whether you have it seriously enough to justify getting help. I mean, I've never been inside anyone else's head, so I have nothing to compare it to, so how can I ever know? I'm not depressed enough that I'd make a serious attempt on my own life, but I do think about it constantly. I don't really have anyone that's affected by my condition, and I can live through it, and I don't want to jam up the system and lock someone else out that really needs the help. On top of that, I can't have my parents ever know. I couldn't do that to them.[/QUOTE] It definitely helps to talk to someone about it especially if you're fighting yourself about whether you should or shouldn't depression works in sneaky ways, when you have that mind frame of 'I don't want to bring anyone else around me down with it' or 'other people have it so much worse that mine's probably insignificant so what right do I have to call it depression' for instance, it's like you start looking for all the reasons as to why you shouldn't do anything about it, which only makes it worse in a way... don't want to say it's 'giving in' to it but that's kind of how it goes, if it's bothersome and you feel like maybe you should do something about it, probably best to listen to that part of yourself that wants too if you can. Definitely tricky, that's what I was going through last night until my friend shook me up like that

[QUOTE=werrek;47873510]People who are diagnosed with schizophrenia will a lot of the time believe it is a mis-diagnosis. The first part in recovery is to accept you have it, and that it's real. I can see that your intelligent, and understand you have your condition. For many people, it's mind over matter. If you live with it, and know your delusions aren't real, then someday it can fade. (Mi madre is certified and has a masters degree in psychology; I'm not pulling out of my ass). I know it's hard to believe you have it, but a certified therapist who diagnosed you right out of the book with all the symptoms, is correct. Just do know that the medicine you are prescribed for it can kill your determination. Stay as hopeful as you can, and believe in yourself. You can push through problems in your mind. Stay strong! [editline]3th June 2015[/editline] My twin brother has spoke with two people diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. One knows he has it, and tries his hardest without prescription to live with it. He is actually getting better. The other, believes he doesn't have it at all. Every single sympton he shows is part of his condition, but he denies it, like many people with his diagnosis. When asked why he think's his delusions of people always stalking and watching him are real, he cannot come up with a straightforward answer. He is basically in denial.[/QUOTE] so it's normal to think I've been mis-diagnosed? I've been stuck with the thought for the past few weeks ever since I first heard of it that I've most likely been mis-diagnosed. it feels like I maybe haven't been too clear, said something wrong to my therapist, etc, that resulted in this. it's actually quite the relief to know that, thank you! luckily I've been aware that the delusions I've had so far are not real. I'm not sure if I've just been lucky not to experience a whole lot of delusions, or if my Abilify has made sure none of them have popped up to begin with. it's hard to tell since I was put on medication so early when it first was discovered. after reading about the guy you mentioned who manages without prescriptions, it makes it tempting to give it a shot without medication for a short duration. I'm curious to see how much Abilify has potentially helped me. would I experience a lot more delusions/hallucinations if I were to go without Abilify is the big question. it's one of those things that makes me feel like I've been misdiagnosed since I haven't experienced a lot of it, but they've been there. I feel like I need proof that they exist properly

nearly got dumped for the same reason my ex gave me. [editline]4th June 2015[/editline] maybe i'm just not meant to be anyone's girlfriend.

I'm not sure if this is the right thread, but my friend is depressed, suicidal, and now anorexic. She is basically starving herself despite me asking her every day to eat something, and despite countless times of me also asking to see a doctor or a dietician, she refuses. I asked my doctor about what I could do, but he said that she has to ask for help. I know she isn't thinking rationally, and I should be more patient, but it's like she doesn't want help. What can I do?

[QUOTE=Bathtub;47876680]I'm not sure if this is the right thread, but my friend is depressed, suicidal, and now anorexic. She is basically starving herself despite me asking her every day to eat something, and despite countless times of me also asking to see a doctor or a dietician, she refuses. I asked my doctor about what I could do, but he said that she has to ask for help. I know she isn't thinking rationally, and I should be more patient, but it's like she doesn't want help. What can I do?[/QUOTE] Just be there for her, avoid pressuring her or putting any responsibilities on her, if she is depressed and suicidal and doesn't want help, the only thing you'll do by being pushy is increase her stress and make her less willing. Your doctor is right, she has to ask for help, and it's her fight that she alone has to win, but that doesn't mean you can do nothing, it just means you can't do everything. Just be a good friend and show her you care in a subtle way that doesn't make her feel self-aware or uncomfortable.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;47876753]Just be there for her, avoid pressuring her or putting any responsibilities on her, if she is depressed and suicidal and doesn't want help, the only thing you'll do by being pushy is increase her stress and make her less willing. Your doctor is right, she has to ask for help, and it's her fight that she alone has to win, but that doesn't mean you can do nothing, it just means you can't do everything. Just be a good friend and show her you care in a subtle way that doesn't make her feel self-aware or uncomfortable.[/QUOTE] This is all great advice. Really. One thing I want to add is even though you can't make her ask for help, [I]you can make it safe for her to ask for help.[/I] At least in your relationship. What I mean is there is a huge and sometimes justified fear in people suffering from mental illness that if they get help by seeing a doctor or going to the hospital people in their life will see them differently and judge them. I know you can't change what anybody else in her life says or does, but you can tell and show her that no matter what happens you will still be there and care. I hope this helps.

I think I might be depressed but I really don't want to call myself depressed when I just feel sad. I pretty much feel sad almost everyday for a period of about 3-4 hours. The strange thing is that I'm taking an anti depressant for different issues.

I've ruined myself. I've wasted my time in this 3rd year of study at university because I had anxiety about the work I was meant to do so I procrastinated which only led to more anxiety and now I'm coming up to my finals and I have no idea about anything and I need a certain percentage to get to my masters and I know it's all my fault. I've always hated doctors. I've never even dared to approach a therapist, because I'm even anxious about being judged there. I've lied to everyone about how I am, and since a good friend of mine committed suicide two years ago, that's all I can think about, and yet I can't do it. My 22nd birthday is in 3 days and I've pissed my life away. I feel like I'm going to get kicked out before I reach my masters, to get a 2:2 (which is apparently a useless degree), and I don't feel ready for the real world. Holy hellfire, I am broken. Posting here because anonymity and shit

i hate being paranoid, i fucking hate it so much. it's so bad i can't keep a stable relationship with people. i become clingy to the point where it's uncomfortable because i don't trust people, and it repeats a cycle of happiness to guilt. i had a dude reinstate that he has a girlfriend when i flirted with him, and said i was taking social cues too far and was acting creepy i have some serious issues, and gonna look into some help regarding this. is there anything else you guys could suggest?

I'm really needing someone to talk to. I'm not the most popular here on FP or co side red the smartest, but imin a really bad situation and very messed up. Its difficult not to say f**** it…

I remembered the name of the medicine I'm about to switch to and it's called [URL="http://www.drugs.com/zyprexa.html"]Zyprexa[/URL]. I'm concerned about the weight gain that could follow. anyone know how some meds cause weight gain, and is there a way to make sure it doesn't happen? I don't understand how meds can cause weight gain, surely it can't happen out of the blue? does it cause food cravings? more hunger? or does it decrease metabolism?

I relapsed and self harmed for the first time in two months tonight I took 4 Prozac afterwards and now I'm worried cause I cant remember if I took 2 earlier, is it even possible to overdose on this or am I fucking dumb I'm too scared to even sleep lmao, I'm super depressed but I'm scared of dying I'm also pretty sure my best friend hates me now because I told them I relapsed so that's fun too

I find it very hard to make and hold friends. I understand its my fault and that I am exceedingly petty, argumentative, coarse, and worst of all, overly sensitive to and easy to upset, myself, so there's constant hypocrisy in how I behave. I am 23 years old, in university/college, and I have pretty much one good IRL friend I know since elementary school and who we actually rarely ever argue or have any beef with, but I hear from him only a few times a week these days, and he never really was as close as I feel I need, which is probably why he's not affected by what makes me so repulsive to others. I have one very good friend online, and we talk every day, except for the moments where I make them upset and they ignore me for a few days of time. This has been happening for years, over and over and over again, but while I certainly don't think they are perfect, I fully realise it's mostly my fault. They are still pretty much solely who helps me to so so keep myself together. Whenever I manage to repulse them for a time, I end up in deep depression and powerful self loathing stemming from the even more intense loneliness as well as hatred for the fact I had caused it again. Other than them, I have only handful of long term friends who I however rarely get to talk to more often than few times a week, and even then it's often nothing past exchange of some basic niceties. I have had many many friends, mainly but not only online, who I have alienated enough that they refuse to talk to me anymore. Maybe at the moment when we have the final spat, I am actually convinced they are a stupid asshole, but as time passes and I look back, I literally always regret it happened. I occasionally think about suicide but I don't think I really have what it takes to do it. My depression is mostly limited to really stressful times and even then I usually manage to see the future so so optimistically or at least to ignore it. How do I get my ego under control and keep myself from becoming obnoxious to everyone? I try to go back and to understand my mistakes but it's usually way too late, and this has been going on for years. I know I am by far not in the worst situation possible and honestly I really struggle to post this here after reading some of the previous posts as they make me feel like my issues are so unimportant in comparison to others here, but I still feel kind of desperate to change things and get to know more people who will be actually able to endure me, but I don't know how.

Well, it sounds to me you've have had some bad life experiences earlier cos if I understand correctly you have some problems of controlling your emotions. That's the skill we learn interacting with our caretakers when we are children. My advice is just keep hanging there. You already are doing the great job! We change after having good enough experiences with others. The only problem is the others don't always understand after having bad life experiences we're not bad people cos our ability to control our emotions is impaired. We just can't always behave civilized way although we know we have to take responsibility our behavior. The good thing is we learn to know very fast who are our true friends :v:

Well now I feel really stupid for spilling my heart out like that just before having an amazing blast with the IRL friend at a beer fair and in cinema. Lessons learned today: - If Online is giving you a hard time, IRL world may or may not be a much different offer for the day (or absolutely inverse) - The right amount of beer perfectly dulls my social anxiety and even social agoraphobia (fear of crowds) without really impacting me negatively, otherwise.

Ugh I have felt terrible every day since last Tuesday. It's like my citalopram has stopped working, even though I know that's totally stupid. Tbh I felt better for a bit on it but it's all faded away. Suppose I should arrange another doctors appointment much sooner than I am meant to to see, I kinda just want to stop existing again and feel like I am going up to burst point again. It never did anything for the anxiety,though it helped through depression until recently. Or maybe I am just a mess who cannot handle the world.

I feel like my anxiety is getting worse and I feel so alone and feel at any moment my two friends will leave me and I'll be by myself And I can't bog them with my issues so I sit silent pretending to be happy when really I'm fucking hurting, it's not fun

[QUOTE=Awesomecaek;47889910]I find it very hard to make and hold friends. I understand its my fault and that I am exceedingly petty, argumentative, coarse, and worst of all, overly sensitive to and easy to upset, myself, so there's constant hypocrisy in how I behave. I am 23 years old, in university/college, and I have pretty much one good IRL friend I know since elementary school and who we actually rarely ever argue or have any beef with, but I hear from him only a few times a week these days, and he never really was as close as I feel I need, which is probably why he's not affected by what makes me so repulsive to others. I have one very good friend online, and we talk every day, except for the moments where I make them upset and they ignore me for a few days of time. This has been happening for years, over and over and over again, but while I certainly don't think they are perfect, I fully realise it's mostly my fault. They are still pretty much solely who helps me to so so keep myself together. Whenever I manage to repulse them for a time, I end up in deep depression and powerful self loathing stemming from the even more intense loneliness as well as hatred for the fact I had caused it again. Other than them, I have only handful of long term friends who I however rarely get to talk to more often than few times a week, and even then it's often nothing past exchange of some basic niceties. I have had many many friends, mainly but not only online, who I have alienated enough that they refuse to talk to me anymore. Maybe at the moment when we have the final spat, I am actually convinced they are a stupid asshole, but as time passes and I look back, I literally always regret it happened. I occasionally think about suicide but I don't think I really have what it takes to do it. My depression is mostly limited to really stressful times and even then I usually manage to see the future so so optimistically or at least to ignore it. How do I get my ego under control and keep myself from becoming obnoxious to everyone? I try to go back and to understand my mistakes but it's usually way too late, and this has been going on for years. I know I am by far not in the worst situation possible and honestly I really struggle to post this here after reading some of the previous posts as they make me feel like my issues are so unimportant in comparison to others here, but I still feel kind of desperate to change things and get to know more people who will be actually able to endure me, but I don't know how.[/QUOTE] Pretty much exactly how I feel. I've tried to post on here a few times but you just worded my exact thoughts much better than I could have.

[QUOTE=Awesomecaek;47894116]Well now I feel really stupid for spilling my heart out like that just before having an amazing blast with the IRL friend at a beer fair and in cinema. Lessons learned today: - If Online is giving you a hard time, IRL world may or may not be a much different offer for the day (or absolutely inverse) - The right amount of beer perfectly dulls my social anxiety and even social agoraphobia (fear of crowds) without really impacting me negatively, otherwise.[/QUOTE] No, you're not! YES!:dance: [editline]7th June 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=CrossTownNews;47887748]I'm really needing someone to talk to. I'm not the most popular here on FP or co side red the smartest, but imin a really bad situation and very messed up. Its difficult not to say f**** it…[/QUOTE] When you're back you can pm me, if you want to. :downs:

[QUOTE=CrossTownNews;47887748]I'm really needing someone to talk to. I'm not the most popular here on FP or co side red the smartest, but imin a really bad situation and very messed up. Its difficult not to say f**** it…[/QUOTE] Well you're banned but if anybody needs a chat/call just add me with a pm or something.

Terminutter and Fruxodaily, do you want to talk about it with us or are you just getting it of your chest? :downs:

2 very generous facepunchers have made my very critical financial situation more comfortable. thank you.

[QUOTE=Cha;47897058]Terminutter and Fruxodaily, do you want to talk about it with us or are you just getting it of your chest? :downs:[/QUOTE] Thanks for the offer! I vented to my American friend while I was drunk and felt better, and I managed to get into contact with an old friend I used to hang out with, if everything goes to plan I'll be chilling with her in 2 weekends time. So things look a lil brighter. Plus I've got my session with a psychologist this week so it should be all good!

seems all i do is annoy the crap out of everyone and scare others off why am i still breathing

[QUOTE=Cha;47897058]Terminutter and Fruxodaily, do you want to talk about it with us or are you just getting it of your chest? :downs:[/QUOTE] Just venting at the moment! Basically feel like crap every night and good in the day, I might see about going to my counsellor for a bit more, and am gonna go back to GP in a week anyway. Thanks for the offer though, means a lot.

Think I'm falling into a darker phase of my depression again. The sertraline I'm taking doesn't seem to do me too much good and the therapy group I'm going to isn't helping and I'm getting nowhere in life. I don't want to wake up in the mornings and when I'm up I want the day to be over so that I can go to sleep again. [editline]8th June 2015[/editline] I feel like a worthless piece of organic tissue with no purpose and I'm beginning to feel an urge to get drunk badly, not that it'd help.