Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=PelPix123;48054630]i'm really sick and nobody knows why. headaches, dizziness, now my eyes are swelling. being mentally ill sucks because doctors often don't take you seriously "OH YOUR EYES ARE SWELLING AND ONE OF YOUR PUPILS IS STUCK OPEN" "CRAZY PEOPLE'S BRAINS SURE DO WEIRD THINGS TO THEIR BODIES HUH" "HERE'S SOME BENZOS FOR HOW SCARED IT MAKES YOU" so now I have benzos. thanks doc 10/10.[/QUOTE] Time for a new doctor. He's not wrong to consider your mental issues as causing physical symptoms since anxiety and depression and all those things can have some really wide reaching physical effecrs, including in terms of variety and severity. But considering that alone is unfair to you and not the best sign of his competency. The stuff you describe is common for anxiety, so not sure if that's something you struggle with. Has the medication helped? Did he run any other tests? It could be high blood pressure. I think. And please tell me he didn't say those words literally. Having am mental issue does not qualify you as crazy, but mental issues can cause tons and tons of physical symptoms! If you're lookin for direction in symptoms and diagnoses consider mayo clinic. Avoid WebMD and really carefully consider stuff l. If you're a hypochondriac or have medical anxiety like me maybe have someone else do it for you or you'll start conviNing yourself you have some horrid obscure disease :v: [editline]30th June 2015[/editline] And sorry for all the posts trying to go through posts that didn't get answered so rip my merges but I have NOTHING to do right now and I like trying to hlp and talk anyways

I really need some help here. My dads an abusive bipolar shit head who smokes about 10 joints a day. He's physically abused my mom in the past and does verbally daily. Not so much with me becuase I'll lose it on him and he's scared of me. Things are getting way too heavy though. My mom originally wanted to divorce and sue for alimony. He's told her on more than one occasion that she can't receive alimony if shes dead. I had to make her tell me this fact. What in the fucking hell can I do about him. I was so furious when she told me I don't know what I would have done if I had been at home. This son of a bitch should be locked up before he does something but what can I possibly do? I want to guarantee the safety of my mother. It just makes me sick inside knowing he exists.

[QUOTE=No_Excuses;48093389]I really need some help here. My dads an abusive bipolar shit head who smokes about 10 joints a day. He's physically abused my mom in the past and does verbally daily. Not so much with me becuase I'll lose it on him and he's scared of me. Things are getting way too heavy though. My mom originally wanted to divorce and sue for alimony. He's told her on more than one occasion that she can't receive alimony if shes dead. I had to make her tell me this fact. What in the fucking hell can I do about him. I was so furious when she told me I don't know what I would have done if I had been at home. This son of a bitch should be locked up before he does something but what can I possibly do? I want to guarantee the safety of my mother. It just makes me sick inside knowing he exists.[/QUOTE] Contact the authorities? Here in Finland at least there is a line from where to reach help for domestic abuse.

New to this thread and just need some advice. 9 or so months ago a lot of things started to pop up (breaking down in crowded social areas, lots of panicking for no reason) and started to get worried about myself. Started to take online classes to help, then my teacher suggested a therapist for me. I was told I had social anxiety and mild depression which was highly odd for me. My older self used to be very friendly and highly social, and some weeks I feel fine but most of the time I just don't feel the need to be social and get heavily nervous in big crowds. I'm always worried about being looked at or judged. So the past 9 months have been rough and mostly this summer. Been just lonely. Started working out because I never liked my self image which helps a little. I've been progressively getting better but was wondering if there is any other ways to help. Just want to be my old self again, friendly, happy to socialize with others, and not so nervous. I don't like myself currently. I just want to be me again. Currently don't know if this is something that happens growing up and its just a phase or something is wrong with my mental system. I keep thinking it goes away then a week later its back. I'd just like to know what the hell is going on. I feel a little lost right now.

Just about through with life at this point. Woke up from an awful dream and immediately wanted to just go back to sleep and stay asleep for as long as I can. I feel like I've got nothing going for me right now. I'm not going, nor do I feel the need, to end my life, but I sure wish it would move a lot faster so I can die soon enough.

I was depressed when I was younger. I worked hard and fought like crazy to get out of it. Built a successful career. Made some friends. Fixed my family relationships. Thought I found the perfect woman. Turns out, I marries a manic depressive that is dragging me down into depression. She's always angry. And yes, we have talked about it. I know why she's angry. But no matter how much I talk or love or say, she will never change. Ever. She had issues from her past she refuses to fix. Not only is she ruining her life and throwing away the great life right in front of her, she's ruining my life by refusing to change anything about herself. Every day is nothing but anxiety, worrying about what will set her off next. She has been emotionally and physically abusive to me. Of course I never struck back because I would crush her. But I just can't take it. When she's manic life is so good. We're Happy. We laugh and she makes me happy. But it never lasts. [editline]1st July 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Laserbeams;48043720]I feel like absolute shit for no reason. This is the most depressed I've been in years. It just started earlier today, and I hope it will go away tomorrow[/QUOTE] You'll be OK. Just hold on. It will get better. I get bad panic attacks where I feel like im either going to die, or something catastrophic is going to happen. I feel like I KNOW it will. Period. Lately, ive been able to Just tell myself that none of that is True, and I WILL fell better soon. I just got to hold on. And you know what? I do end up feeling better!

Since the Tuesday before Summer Solstice I've been feeling really anxious. Then after what happened between me and my girlfriend (ex, something, friend, maybe never again) I was just really on the edge for over a week. Just constantly having a racing heartbeat and fits of crying. Then on Tuesday I just very little. Just a small sensation of fearing the worst in the back of my head. Even when she contacted me; my heart only raced momentarily, even though I had been afraid that I'd gotten an almost heart-attack, like how I did on Saturday when her cousin contacted me. Then this night I went to bed around two and woke up at six in cold sweat. Feeling agitated, which then calmed down to feeling very blank again. This is a good place to admit: This morning I got the thought to my head that I'd load my blank-gun and point it at my chest, just to see what I feel. [B]Edit:[/B] Tried it, half-ways. Put one in the cylinder and spun it, but stopped when I saw that it had primed on the shot. My pulse got higher, but I didn't feel much. Maybe I'm just too exhausted.

Uhh, I'm just gonna put mine is a pastebin because I feel it's a little too long to be posted here on the actual forum. This was written over a month ago. Things have either stayed the same or gotten worse. There is also 1 more point I want to add onto it. - I'm at a point now where not even the psychologists care about my anymore. Like literally, I've seen so many different ones, so many different people, and they all just act like they don't want to deal with me. Anyway, here is the full thing I guess. [url]http://pastebin.com/ud3PXKN4[/url]

I feel repressed. My father is sending me to a therapist for gay-to-straight conversion therapy. I had to remove anybody who could "bring out" my interest in men. Literally all of my close friends on steam I had to block and remove, since they shared my sexuality. And since my recent move (no connects obv), I'm drowning my problems in alcohol instead of weed like I normally do. Tonight is going to be a long night. My problems are small compared to the rest of you, but all I can think about it the amount of emotional pain I put these people through. I had to remove them ALL. Without even giving them a message. My dad was right there to watch me

[QUOTE=werrek;48101142]I feel repressed. My father is sending me to a therapist for gay-to-straight conversion therapy. I had to remove anybody who could "bring out" my interest in men. Literally all of my close friends on steam I had to block and remove, since they shared my sexuality. And since my recent move (no connects obv), I'm drowning my problems in alcohol instead of weed like I normally do. Tonight is going to be a long night. My problems are small compared to the rest of you, but all I can think about it the amount of emotional pain I put these people through. I had to remove them ALL. Without even giving them a message. My dad was right there to watch me[/QUOTE] No! That is a pretty fucking big problem. You are being emotionally abused and repressed and being even sent to a professional abuser. I can't even fathom how horrible it must be to be forced to cut contact with all your closest friends. How old are you? If I may ask.

What could be the general life expectancy for someone who feels like shit all the time? Probably lower than that of a normal person right?

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;48101225]No! That is a pretty fucking big problem. You are being emotionally abused and repressed and being even sent to a professional abuser. I can't even fathom how horrible it must be to be forced to cut contact with all your closest friends. How old are you? If I may ask.[/QUOTE] I'm 17. I only have a year left here, and I'm out. I apologize if I seemed too over dramatic, by the way. I don't want people to pity me on here. Really, in all honesty, recovery isn't difficult. Lie to the "therapist", and lay low.

[QUOTE=werrek;48101142]I feel repressed. My father is sending me to a therapist for gay-to-straight conversion therapy. I had to remove anybody who could "bring out" my interest in men. Literally all of my close friends on steam I had to block and remove, since they shared my sexuality. And since my recent move (no connects obv), I'm drowning my problems in alcohol instead of weed like I normally do. Tonight is going to be a long night. My problems are small compared to the rest of you, but all I can think about it the amount of emotional pain I put these people through. I had to remove them ALL. Without even giving them a message. My dad was right there to watch me[/QUOTE] your dad should fuck himself

[QUOTE=werrek;48103459]I'm 17. I only have a year left here, and I'm out. I apologize if I seemed too over dramatic, by the way. I don't want people to pity me on here. Really, in all honesty, recovery isn't difficult. Lie to the "therapist", and lay low.[/QUOTE] You're not overly dramatic. It's really serious. I can only wish you the best of luck and that you manage to survive and escape next year. Stay strong.

not sure if this question belongs here, but since it's about my mental health I'll ask anyway. do any of you know how caffeine interacts with a schizophrenic disorder? I consume about 600-900mg caffeine daily, way above the recommended dose and I wonder if caffeine intoxication and caffeine in general can affect my schizophrenia? should I quit consuming caffeine? I recall hearing that caffeine may worsen psychotic/schizophrenic symptoms but I'm not sure if I actually ever heard anyone say that

[QUOTE=werrek;48101142]I feel repressed. My father is sending me to a therapist for gay-to-straight conversion therapy. I had to remove anybody who could "bring out" my interest in men. Literally all of my close friends on steam I had to block and remove, since they shared my sexuality. And since my recent move (no connects obv), I'm drowning my problems in alcohol instead of weed like I normally do. Tonight is going to be a long night. My problems are small compared to the rest of you, but all I can think about it the amount of emotional pain I put these people through. I had to remove them ALL. Without even giving them a message. My dad was right there to watch me[/QUOTE] This is absolutely not right. Your dad has no right to do this at all. That "my house, my rules" shit is just an excuse for your dad to do anything he wants unopposed. You've done nothing wrong. I don't really know about anyone else in your personal life, but you should tell someone, ANYONE, you can trust about this. This is blatant emotional abuse. You have more rights than you think.

/

I keep almost telling my parents about my depression but I can't stand the thought of putting that emotional burden on them. But then again, if I get taken by a really bad episode and commit suicide, they'd feel worse. It's hard. There's no nice way of committing suicide so that nobody will care. Even if they never find the body, I still disappeared and never came back.

I just apologized to some dude who I had beef with and vice versa after a year or so of not talking and he accepted the apology right quick. Feels like a massive weight off my shoulders. Now I just gotta apologize to my ex and my bucket list of people to apologize to will be complete. Problem is though, my ex don't want to talk to me or nothing to do with me and I don't know how to contact her. Should I push on and try to apologize to her or should I leave it be?

Idk if this will help anyone but I have a playlist I made on spotify of songs that are sort of easy listening that I listen to when I feel down, this might help any of you who want to find something that might help you [url]http://pastebin.com/KENt0LXW[/url] (title/artist)

I screwed up, and potentially lost a friend due to my terrible habits with social media. It's a long story, and I really don't want to ever touch twitter again. At least not for a few months. These last few days of no communication have been difficult. I really can't express how sorry I am for being a self-important cunt.

So I've been really extremely for the past two weeks. Just haven't had the energy to do much anything except letting time pass and dealing with my own emotional problems. This night I actually slept well for the first time in three weeks, still waking up tired as shit and having had shaking hands ever since I woke up. Then my father tries to take a standing with his very little understanding: "You just need to get up and do stuff" and so forth. So imagine that there is no way in hell I want to talk to them about my deeper problems. Like how yesterday I tried pointing my loaded blank-gun at my chest just to try how it feels. *Girl*friend told me that she's feeling really shit and that she can only focus on herself now and still has to be able to overcome what happened before she can talk in person. And hoped that I understand. I said that I do understand, because I know what it's like to have something happen that puts a huge mental break on seeing someone. Which brought back something really painful for me, which happened two years ago. I haven't been able to tell anyone. I tried a few weeks ago to tell my best friends while drunk, but only managed to tell a watered and non-traumatic version about it. I then admitted to her that she is the only person whom I've ever trusted enough to consider telling the whole story to. But I just fear so much that the day will never come and that I'll have to keep that burden inside forever. [B]Edit:[/B] Then being put between a rock and a hard place by my dad. "Do you wanna sail to town?" If I don't, then disappointment and criticisms ensues about my sloth behavior. If I do; Harsh criticism about my weakness ensues and further criticism if I try to defend myself with my weeks lasting sleep deprivation and loss of appetite.

I feel super embarassed posting this but can anyone give me a detailed lowdown on psychiatry and what to expect of it? I could totally just google this and do my research but I really want to have a formal discussion about what i'm going into. it's been 6 years of mental instability and I will be entering psychiatry soon, i'm scared of a lot of things and I have no one to discuss it in-depth with.

Ayyyy, just wanna say thanks, guys. It's been a low time on my life, but letting my problems out and knowing people care, that's all that matters. I just gotta make some new friends on steam, and in-school when break is over irl. I don't feel lonely per say, but if I don't interact with people in a few days, depression and hopelessness sets in VERY quick. Only problem, is that I'm used to going out of my way to avoid meeting/interacting with new people online. The only way I get new people to talk to is out of a common interest (Don't laugh, the furry community is pretty inviting), or meet them through another friend. Since my father's snooping through my phone/computer, (Oh my god, PLEASE don't laugh) being in the furry community should be avoided by his words, as it brings out my "interest in men". Now, it's just awkward for me. I gotta start from NOTHING to find friends. I feel like a loser already :v: I'm not here for sympathy or for you to pity-add me, it's just good for SOMEBODY to hear my current predicament. I also need to stop being scared, and nervous of meeting new people. I'm not even socially awkward, but it's nerve-wracking when there is nothing in common that I know when I talk to them. (The two people that added me on steam. They're just sitting as invites :v)

[QUOTE=PredGD;48104632]not sure if this question belongs here, but since it's about my mental health I'll ask anyway. do any of you know how caffeine interacts with a schizophrenic disorder? I consume about 600-900mg caffeine daily, way above the recommended dose and I wonder if caffeine intoxication and caffeine in general can affect my schizophrenia? should I quit consuming caffeine? I recall hearing that caffeine may worsen psychotic/schizophrenic symptoms but I'm not sure if I actually ever heard anyone say that[/QUOTE] I've never had caffeine cause psychosis or make it worse. It only adds to my anxiety. In high doses of other stimulants I have had it cause psychosis. Everyone's different though so it may make it worse for you and do nothing to someone else. Only way to know is cut back on it and or stop and see if it has any effects on the psychotic symptoms.

[QUOTE=werrek;48117433]Ayyyy, just wanna say thanks, guys. It's been a low time on my life, but letting my problems out and knowing people care, that's all that matters. I just gotta make some new friends on steam, and in-school when break is over irl. I don't feel lonely per say, but if I don't interact with people in a few days, depression and hopelessness sets in VERY quick. Only problem, is that I'm used to going out of my way to avoid meeting/interacting with new people online. The only way I get new people to talk to is out of a common interest (Don't laugh, the furry community is pretty inviting), or meet them through another friend. Since my father's snooping through my phone/computer, (Oh my god, PLEASE don't laugh) being in the furry community should be avoided by his words, as it brings out my "interest in men". Now, it's just awkward for me. I gotta start from NOTHING to find friends. I feel like a loser already :v: I'm not here for sympathy or for you to pity-add me, it's just good for SOMEBODY to hear my current predicament. I also need to stop being scared, and nervous of meeting new people. I'm not even socially awkward, but it's nerve-wracking when there is nothing in common that I know when I talk to them. (The two people that added me on steam. They're just sitting as invites :v)[/QUOTE] I was gonna add you but my avatar doesn't help :(

[QUOTE=Systema;48112150]I feel super embarassed posting this but can anyone give me a detailed lowdown on psychiatry and what to expect of it? I could totally just google this and do my research but I really want to have a formal discussion about what i'm going into. it's been 6 years of mental instability and I will be entering psychiatry soon, i'm scared of a lot of things and I have no one to discuss it in-depth with.[/QUOTE] I had horrible experiences with it the reason was my psy doctor completely sucked and so did the the therapists. Be prepared to go through a medication hell unless you get really lucky and hopefully the side effects aren't too bad. Unless you have to tell them things in regards to being a danger to other or yourself, as in you will do something regrettable and bad that you know you can't stop yourself. The psy ward is the last place you want to be in unless its necessary. Not sure how they are in the states though I can only see them as worse due to how the health care works down there. When I got sent there I spent an entire day in a hospital before being transferred to another hospital which they then sedated me in the ER which was nice. After talking to a psy in the morning I got put into solitary which had 4 other people and 24/7 monitoring one guy the day before hand freaked out on the TV and punched it. After 2 days of that I was in general for 3 days where it was more laid back. Still monitored 24/7 and drugged and some of the people in their had the most bizarre ideas not dangerous for the most part. The only real good part was being allowed to smoke when people came into visit me. I spent one morning just walking in circles until one the of the nurses ended up giving me the max amount of meds he could and then sat me down to make sure I wasn't going to kill someone. The worst part though was the food, it tasted horrible made me gag the only plus side is it taught me to force it down as I wanted out of there. On a closing note its not that bad as long as you don't end up in the psych ward. I've even tried to go back to get more help after being put on anti-anxiety stuff however they won't return my calls and my referrals from my doctor seem to go nowhere at all. Its better than no help just hope you don't get a shitty psych who shoots you down on everything you say.

My boyfriend has untreated bipolar disorder and is having a lot of suicidal thoughts. I'm trying to help as much as I can but I'm slowly reaching my breaking point. When the person closest to me is falling apart inside, and I'm whittling myself down trying to help him... well, I have no one who really seems to understand me well enough to help. I'm not even really sure where my life is going. I can't deal with this as it is, but if something happens to him I know I'll fall to pieces myself. I just had to stop him from running away, and managed to calm him down enough to sleep. This is after he said something really hurtful to me, but then it turned into how he's worthless and everyone hates him and so on. So I just have to let anything that happens to me slide because I'm not the one who can be pushed off the suicide cliff at a moment's notice. I don't want to die, but living isn't terribly attractive either.

In a dark place. Do I reach out for help?

[QUOTE=DELL;48117711]I had horrible experiences with it the reason was my psy doctor completely sucked and so did the the therapists. Be prepared to go through a medication hell unless you get really lucky and hopefully the side effects aren't too bad. Unless you have to tell them things in regards to being a danger to other or yourself, as in you will do something regrettable and bad that you know you can't stop yourself. The psy ward is the last place you want to be in unless its necessary. Not sure how they are in the states though I can only see them as worse due to how the health care works down there. When I got sent there I spent an entire day in a hospital before being transferred to another hospital which they then sedated me in the ER which was nice. After talking to a psy in the morning I got put into solitary which had 4 other people and 24/7 monitoring one guy the day before hand freaked out on the TV and punched it. After 2 days of that I was in general for 3 days where it was more laid back. Still monitored 24/7 and drugged and some of the people in their had the most bizarre ideas not dangerous for the most part. The only real good part was being allowed to smoke when people came into visit me. I spent one morning just walking in circles until one the of the nurses ended up giving me the max amount of meds he could and then sat me down to make sure I wasn't going to kill someone. The worst part though was the food, it tasted horrible made me gag the only plus side is it taught me to force it down as I wanted out of there. On a closing note its not that bad as long as you don't end up in the psych ward. I've even tried to go back to get more help after being put on anti-anxiety stuff however they won't return my calls and my referrals from my doctor seem to go nowhere at all. Its better than no help just hope you don't get a shitty psych who shoots you down on everything you say.[/QUOTE] I'm just ridiculously scared i'll get a terrible psychiatrist off the bat, bad things will happen because of constantly trying different medications or just none of it will wind up working. I've been basically my entire youth alone and seperated from society as a result of epilepsies and I've decided there's basically nothing that can help my instability because of whatever neurose i've probably got except for potentially medication. I don't know what my deal is at this point, I don't know if I need psychiatry or just basic human interaction or social experience or what. I was going to fly out and visit my ex for a week or two sometime this month or the next as a first into extensive interaction with absolutely anyone my age in real life, but I got dumped and that's out of the window. I'm gonna be 18 this month and I'm being seriously irrational when I say I believe my entire youth is a waste.