Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Systema;48118186]I'm just ridiculously scared i'll get a terrible psychiatrist off the bat, bad things will happen as a result of constantly trying different medications or just none of it will wind up working. I've been basically my entire youth alone and seperated from society as a result of epilepsies and I've decided there's basically nothing that can help my instability because of whatever neurose i've probably got except for potentially medication.[/QUOTE] okay I swear it must just be negative bias but most psychiatric experiences are fine. Here's what you should expect: 1. The couch thing isn't entirely inaccurate, but it can be a fairly active process. You'll usually start with basic introductions, they'll try to make you feel comfy and all that. Maybe some small talk. You'll sign some privacy and confidentiality paperwork as well. Then they'll ask what you think the issue is, and go into your symptoms and past history. It is likely they will ask questions to lead you into things or help them narrow down your diagnosis 2. Now they will start diving deeper into things. More questions on symptoms, family history, maybe even some look into your medical records. Still more info gathering from them, essentially. 3. Medication will probably be brought up, if they deem that necessary. You may be given a range of medications to choose from, and they will inform you on each choice. Side effects will be given, you'll be told about dosing, etc. At this point a follow up appointment will be scheduled, a prescription given, and alternative supporting treatments offered or referred to (CBT, general therapy, etc). 4. You're done, for now. You will likely leave with a prescription you need to go fill, and should either pay your copay or set a mailing address to receive your copay paperwork at. Accept that the psych may say stuff you don't want to hear or don't like to hear. This should be done with your best interests in mind, and they should listen to you and respect your decisions and opinions. You can say no. Medication is not hell, this is a rare case. You may have to try several different medications but remember the psych has weighed the options and decided the possible side effects are worth the benefits- keep that in mind. If it goes really poorly, find a new psych. Simple as that. Took me 3 weeks and 12 calls to find someone who would even get back to me, and the first two callbacks were to say no one was accepting new patients. I was doing super poorly at the time and felt like this was a signal saying I wouldn't ever receive help, but I just kept on trying and thank god I did because I found someone who was able to schedule me very quickly. I still have my struggles, but they are far lessened and I'm on the road to improvement.

I've been feeling like crap all day, I snapped at a friend and just can't stay focused on anything. Either this medication is totally shit or I have just had a few decent good weeks and now it's back into the rut again. I can get a councilor through this work program I applied for for disadvantaged young people (people who are on drugs, crime, mental issues that shit) but fuck I feel terrible and I can't imagine telling that person what I really feel (much like I have told a select few I trust) I'd probably burst into tears.

[QUOTE=Thomo_UK;48122340]I can't imagine telling that person what I really feel (much like I have told a select few I trust) I'd probably burst into tears.[/QUOTE] Just so you know, this is totally normal to do.

ive had a week wit hthe apartment to myself, and i spent the whole time alone because i dont know anyone to come invite to hangout or whatever killing myself starts to sound better and better every day

I've finished college without knowing if I've passed or failed, either way, the qualifications aren't much to rave about. I've applied for over 50 jobs at this point. Had 20 interviews out of them. Not one of them accepted me. I could go back to college but it's become so repetitive for me that I often get sick of it nearly every day. My days mostly consist of being recluse indoors and stepping out occasionally for food shopping, going to the bank or the doctors. I've swung my hand at a bunch of hobbies but I could never stick with them. After so long, I'd usually feel like I was forcing myself to keep doing them when I didn't want to, which made me feel worse. I still struggle to commerce with people, regardless of how well I know them. Sometimes I act aggressive to my parents but I don't fully mean it. As for the rest of my family, I don't feel like I've been that nice of a person to everyone, so I'm not surprised that we're not connected very well. When things first felt this bad I went to see a doctor about it but it didn't rub the right way with me. I had been on anti-depressants for a month and they just made me feel tired and even more angry. My counselor was a narcissistic bitch who solely thought my problem was that I didn't socialize much in general, when I'd be out every weekend at parties, clubs and bars with new people every time. When I told her I didn't feel the gratification from any of it, she'd patronize me further by simply saying I wasn't trying. That was the last session I had with her before I decided she just wasn't working for me. I reckon I have no future. Or at least not one that I would be ambitious or excited about. Suicide just doesn't seem right though. I'm not sure what else to do at this point.

I reach out. Silence. Maybe I self-sabotage by reaching out to the wrong people or saying the wrong thing. Not sure.

Problems about myself: - I don't think before I act or speak - Racist and sexist, I've been told at least - Act very immature and like a child - Get angry easily and break things - Don't take care of my hygiene - Don't absorb constructive criticism or listen to others - Lazy and not motivated to do anything with effort If I could fix all of these, maybe I'll be able to live a normal life and also not be hated by half the forum especially the gmf

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;48129362]Problems about myself: - I don't think before I act or speak - Racist and sexist, I've been told at least - Act very immature and like a child - Get angry easily and break things - Don't take care of my hygiene - Don't absorb constructive criticism or listen to others - Lazy and not motivated to do anything with effort If I could fix all of these, maybe I'll be able to live a normal life and also not be hated by half the forum especially the gmf[/QUOTE] You're the only one who can fix those, though. The only way to fix your problems is to put in the effort to change yourself in your case.

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;48129362]Problems about myself: - I don't think before I act or speak - Racist and sexist, I've been told at least - Act very immature and like a child - Get angry easily and break things - Don't take care of my hygiene - Don't absorb constructive criticism or listen to others - Lazy and not motivated to do anything with effort If I could fix all of these, maybe I'll be able to live a normal life and also not be hated by half the forum especially the gmf[/QUOTE] It's a long journey. Reaching way back to your memories to see what has shaped you as such.

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;48129588]It's a long journey. Reaching way back to your memories to see what has shaped you as such.[/QUOTE] I was never supported properly by the adults around me and I grew up isolated, that could be a big part of it

I've tried twice now to ask this girl out no response both times. This is the second person of whom I care for to just stop responding and give me the silent treatment. This really hurts, it shouldn't hurt so much but god damn I think I just lost her friendship trying to ask her out. All I want is to care, but all I get is shut down.

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;48129903]I was never supported properly by the adults around me and I grew up isolated, that could be a big part of it[/QUOTE] I could recommend a book. Something which I found in the library two weeks ago when I went there after therapy. It was a Finnish book titled "Häpeän Monet Kasvot" (translates to "The Many Faces of Shame). Obviously it won't do you any good, being in Finnish. But there is a book by a Dr. Donald L. Nathason titled The Many Faces of Shame. Which seems to be quite a lot about the same thing. At least the Finnish counterpart provided a huge help for me. Which I'm going to buy so that I can lend it to my friends who feel like they'd need it.

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[QUOTE=Simples;48132701]Is there anyone I can PM about eating disorder and suicidal thoughts? I'm worried for a friend. Alternatively, how can I be a good person to someone with these issues? I'm scared to speak out to them as it's very unlike my 'character', I know a will eventually but.. in the meantime (whilst I work up the courage) what can I do to help? If anything at all, that is.[/QUOTE] I've had my own share of suicidal thoughts and battling with anorexia. So you can PM me if you'd feel like it'd be useful.

I feel like I've gotten really paranoid as of late. it's hard to distinguish between reasonable paranoia and over blown paranoia. I feel that family members are snooping around in my room so I always lock the door and feel reluctant to move out of my room. it's fully possible they could be doing it, but at the same time why would they? I try to think it's part of my illness, but its so hard to tell when it's my illness speaking or if I actually have a reason to be paranoid.

showering is a good coping mechanism. i've gotten up to like, 3 a day. i feel better when everything's blocked out for an instance. i was diagnosed with clinical depression. got prescribed to some anti-depression medication (starts with an s i think)? on top of Concerta for ADHD readmission, and sleeping pills. not a good day by most means.

[QUOTE=.Lain;48134711]showering is a good coping mechanism. i've gotten up to like, 3 a day. i feel better when everything's blocked out for an instance. i was diagnosed with clinical depression. got prescribed to some anti-depression medication (starts with an s i think)? on top of Concerta for ADHD readmission, and sleeping pills. not a good day by most means.[/QUOTE] Nowadays I just tend to cry in the shower, can't even get pleasure from jacking anymore. But at least I did get diagnosed with depression today by my psychologist and my doctors appointment regarding that depression is next week :v:

Guys, how do I get off of sertraline/ any antidepressant. I've tapered down to 25mg every 3 days but I keep getting brain zaps every damn time I move my eyes (no psych symptoms though ^_^). I've just cut the dose again to 12.5 mg but I can't deal with the brain zaps...

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[QUOTE=xVENUSx;48136708]Guys, how do I get off of sertraline/ any antidepressant. I've tapered down to 25mg every 3 days but I keep getting brain zaps every damn time I move my eyes (no psych symptoms though ^_^). I've just cut the dose again to 12.5 mg but I can't deal with the brain zaps...[/QUOTE] I'm sorry, but only a doctor can tell you the answer to that. I know the brain zaps you are talking about and it is a very uncomfortable sensation, so I can sympathize in that way.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the past couple years but stopped in January. Ever since then it's been going downhill slowly and I haven't realized it until now. Maybe it's because it's been a couple months since I finished school for the summer, I don't know. I don't really leave the house other than for my 9-5 job that I have. I hate going to work tired but every morning im just exhausted. Then there's the typical "I need to put on my happy mask for the good of everyone" and you can't tell people what's wrong because you're ostrasized, or made fun of, or whatever the fuck else. I go to work, I come home, I sleep. Rinse and repeat. I've got absolutely NO motivation to do what I want to do, to the point where I'm not sure if I really want to do it anymore (Programming) It fucking sucks. I just can't get OUT of that loop. I can't even tell my friends about it because I'll get that super generic girl "AWWWWWWW" because they don't know how to react and it's a bunch of bullshit and my good friend basically says "aw that sucks" and that's it. I can't think positively and it's gotten to the point where I'm just sitting in my porch writing this and it's absolutely beautiful outside but I still feel super exhausted and feel like doing nothing. I also get the feeling of wanting to do a million and one things, so I try and do one thing and there's a little small thing that I can't do so I develop this "fuck it this is bullshit i cant fucking do anything" even if it's somethign out of my control and it's so fucking hard to push through that shit especially when you've put up with a abusive father for most of your life and still do. Can't wait to finish my education and get the FUCK out of my house. My Citalopram isn't working any more either afaik. Not feeling as "up" as I used to be. fuck fuck fuck I also just wish I had someone to see to cheer me up. No one I know cheers me up. Absolutely nobody. I go into work and it's small-talk and "oh hey hows it going haha yeah wow" and then back to work. My friends are pretty much the same. I can't hold a conversation to save my life other than in a work environment, and it fucking sucks. I don't even fucking know what I can do anymore. Sucks so fucking bad. I just wish I had someone to hug, someone or someTHING to come home to that would make my life better. I don't have that thing. I'm so distanced from my parents and my sister because all of the bullshit in my house and it fucking sucks and I hate it and jesus fucking christ I wish I had SOMEONE or SOMETHING FUCK FUCK

[QUOTE=RoflKawpter;48136979]I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the past couple years but stopped in January. Ever since then it's been going downhill slowly and I haven't realized it until now. Maybe it's because it's been a couple months since I finished school for the summer, I don't know. I don't really leave the house other than for my 9-5 job that I have. I hate going to work tired but every morning im just exhausted. Then there's the typical "I need to put on my happy mask for the good of everyone" and you can't tell people what's wrong because you're ostrasized, or made fun of, or whatever the fuck else. I go to work, I come home, I sleep. Rinse and repeat. I've got absolutely NO motivation to do what I want to do, to the point where I'm not sure if I really want to do it anymore (Programming) It fucking sucks. I just can't get OUT of that loop. [/QUOTE] I know that feeling of having no energy and motivation to do the things you love and want to improve on. my advice is to force yourself to do it. if you keep forcing yourself to program then you will find that it energizes you and your motivation and enthusiasm will rekindle. it's just the first step of forcing yourself to start. it's weird to force yourself to do something you should want to do but once you beat your brain into submission it will be good for you.

[QUOTE=AtomicWaffle;48117986]My boyfriend has untreated bipolar disorder and is having a lot of suicidal thoughts. I'm trying to help as much as I can but I'm slowly reaching my breaking point. When the person closest to me is falling apart inside, and I'm whittling myself down trying to help him... well, I have no one who really seems to understand me well enough to help. I'm not even really sure where my life is going. I can't deal with this as it is, but if something happens to him I know I'll fall to pieces myself. I just had to stop him from running away, and managed to calm him down enough to sleep. This is after he said something really hurtful to me, but then it turned into how he's worthless and everyone hates him and so on. So I just have to let anything that happens to me slide because I'm not the one who can be pushed off the suicide cliff at a moment's notice. I don't want to die, but living isn't terribly attractive either.[/QUOTE] I'm in the same boat with my wife. It's the most exhausting thing I've ever experienced. And I was the sole caretaker for my father as he slowly died. I was 15. Yet this is even harder. You're not alone. Don't ever think you're alone in this.

I just don't want to go into work today. I can't be bothered. I've not bothered putting in my contact lenses and I haven't got lunch. I don't know, just feel tired with everything.

I feel like I have so much to worry about, but when I sit down to think what it could be, I can't name a single thing that worries me. it feels like there's something but I can't figure out what. did I do something I want to hide? it feels like people are doing various things like doxxing me and trying to figure out who I am. it feels like they're out to get me in a way. thats when I realise it must be part of my illness, but its so hard to tell the difference from rational worry or exaggerated worry. if only my therapist wasn't on vacation.

Quit my job, I just couldn't keep a job that was giving me no hours. I feel like total shit, I have made barely any money this summer and college is a month away. I can't tell if the medicine I'm on now is helping or not, I feel the same after being on it for a few months now. On the bright side I've been talking to this sweet girl from Vermont who will be attending the same college as me.

Money and jobs don't define you. I had the "perfect job" as a well paid graphic designer. I quit, and was happier than Id been in a long time. So don't beat yourself up. If you can still do what you love, you can still be happy. Money be damned.

i think i may have depression. i dont know if if i've always had it or what but recently i've noticed i don't enjoy much of anything anymore, like within the past couple of months or so, and i think it's getting worse. things i normally enjoy just don't excite me anymore. i can start up a game and just get completely bored in minutes, even a new game i haven't played before. picking up my guitar doesn't pique my interest, anything that comes out just seems dull. songs i listened to or played before that brought out emotion in me don't even grab my interest. there are a few moments where i feel normal, where i feel pleasure in doing stuff like this, but they're brief and far between. i've also just been feeling down. not like completely sad or anything, just mildly unhappy in general. and i've been very irritable, have periods of anxiety over nothing, and i shut myself out from everyone. i refused to talk to one of my friends for three days straight because i didn't feel like there was a point. i keep my door closed and only go out one or twice a day for food. i haven't had a genuinely good laugh at anything in a while. i can't keep a consistent sleep schedule and drift between not being able to sleep at all to doing nothing but wanting to sleep.

Anyone have experience with EMDR for PTSD? I've been recommended EMDR by my therapist and psychologist because my PTSD has been getting pretty bad.

It's weird thinking that about a year and a half ago I almost committed suicide. If I had, I would have missed out on an amazing first year of college, a lot of new friends that actually care about me, and of course the rest of my life. I was thinking about that recently, like I wouldn't actually be here and really does show how temporary that can be. If I hadn't somehow not done it that night, and not have had a mental breakdown the next day and finally gotten actual help because people seemed to actually take me seriously then, fuck, that's an insane thought.