Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

I think I fucked up pretty major. All I'm going to say is that the police were involved in a big way.

[QUOTE=DeEz;48203319]Why can't you?[/QUOTE] I feel like I'm just going to be wasting their time.

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;48203612]I feel like I'm just going to be wasting their time.[/QUOTE] This is an extremely common feeling. You are not wasting their time, helping people like yourself is what they do for a living.

I've been feeling and acting odd these past few days. It's like my attention span has greatly decreased, I feel like I'm a fool. Parents have also been clawing at each other, which doesn't make things any better. And all because out kitchen is being remodeled. Then there's the anxiety/fear of returning to school. I honestly have barely anybody to talk to in my class and there are these prominent couple of assholes that must have been raised in a fucking zoo. And this year there's exams and shit. I just feel odd and alone.

[QUOTE=Eldariub;48204184]I've been feeling and acting odd these past few days. It's like my attention span has greatly decreased, I feel like I'm a fool. Parents have also been clawing at each other, which doesn't make things any better. And all because out kitchen is being remodeled. Then there's the anxiety/fear of returning to school. I honestly have barely anybody to talk to in my class and there are these prominent couple of assholes that must have been raised in a fucking zoo. And this year there's exams and shit. I just feel odd and alone.[/QUOTE] Just these past couple of days?

[QUOTE=DeEz;48204625]Just these past couple of days?[/QUOTE] Yeah. Like this whole week I've been sleeping really poorly, only going falling asleep at 1AM because I stay up and think about all the stuff that makes me anxious.

[QUOTE=Eldariub;48204866]Yeah. Like this whole week I've been sleeping really poorly, only going falling asleep at 1AM because I stay up and think about all the stuff that makes me anxious.[/QUOTE] Sleep deprivation does bring with it cognitive impairments of varying degrees, it'll pass if you get your sleep back on track. What's happened this week that makes it stand out? Is it the kitchen remodeling? Do you usually stay up and think about stuff during the night?

Life feels like it's actively trying to sabotage me at every turn. I can't drop the feeling that I'm goin to be the last person in my friend group to date anyone. the thought is poisoning me, and making me feel inferior.

[QUOTE=DeEz;48205857]Sleep deprivation does bring with it cognitive impairments of varying degrees, it'll pass if you get your sleep back on track. What's happened this week that makes it stand out? Is it the kitchen remodeling? Do you usually stay up and think about stuff during the night?[/QUOTE] It's probably the remodeling. I get aggravated because there's so much anxiety in the house (with parents bickering and all) and then I lose sleep because I'm aggravated which in turn makes me even more aggravated. I just feel like my brain is degrading, that my attention span is decreasing and that I'm literally becoming stupider. I'm just weird, I don't really know how to describe how I feel.

I came to the rather depressing conclusion that if i couldnt get drunk or high on something, then I'd probably kill myself. waking up every day, feeling neuseas to the point at which im gagging, and swallowing down vomit, due to stress isnt worth it anymore, and the only time im not dealing with that and surrounded by this muggy cloud of self hate and doubt is when im not sober. the thing is that im completely aware that this isnt healthy, and i need to do something about it, i just dont know what to do or where to go to, i dont want to bother my family or friends with this kind of shit, i want to talk to a professional but i dont know the first thing about contacting the right people, what numbers i call or what it is that i could get as help im just worried that all they'll do is tell me to stop doing what im doing, but just put me on fucking fluoxetene instead, which is hardly a better fate

[QUOTE=despair3173;48212661]I came to the rather depressing conclusion that if i couldnt get drunk or high on something, then I'd probably kill myself. waking up every day, feeling neuseas to the point at which im gagging, and swallowing down vomit, due to stress isnt worth it anymore, and the only time im not dealing with that and surrounded by this muggy cloud of self hate and doubt is when im not sober. the thing is that im completely aware that this isnt healthy, and i need to do something about it, i just dont know what to do or where to go to, i dont want to bother my family or friends with this kind of shit, i want to talk to a professional but i dont know the first thing about contacting the right people, what numbers i call or what it is that i could get as help im just worried that all they'll do is tell me to stop doing what im doing, but just put me on fucking fluoxetene instead, which is hardly a better fate[/QUOTE] Why do you feel that you can't talk to your parents about it?

[QUOTE=DeEz;48212737]Why do you feel that you can't talk to your parents about it?[/QUOTE] because my dad cant deal with his own stress, he doesnt tell anyone, then eventually breaks down and cries. As for my mum, ive confided with her in the past about my anxiety about going out at night (mugged 3 times, rip me) and she thought i was overreacting, and dissuaded me from trying to seek help. After me and my girlfriend broke up a few months ago, she started to get worried about me and we talked about everything. A month after we broke up, she got with another guy (i hated him, and her for getting with him) i told my mum, the conversation went something along the lines of; "Oh yeah, X has got a new boyfriend" "Well, you're just going to have to deal with that" like i wasnt expecting "aww poor you, that must be really hard" but she could have been a bit less of a cunt about it, she used to self harm due to depression and you think she'd be a little more tactful/ a little less blunt. I dont blame her tho, she had an abusive boyfriend that used to threaten suicide all the time, and guilt her about it, so she's porbably not the best at sincerely attempting to make people feel less shit

im thinking of going to this inpatient mental hospital about an hour away from me i really really need to if im going to get better but getting the nerve to just go is really difficult

[QUOTE=Levithan;48214215]im thinking of going to this inpatient mental hospital about an hour away from me i really really need to if im going to get better but getting the nerve to just go is really difficult[/QUOTE] if its of any help, I'd recommend it. I'm coming up to my 11th month of being in a mental ward myself and its helped a ton. I went from isolation 24/7 in my room to being socially outgoing. I still have my fair share of issues, but there's no doubt that without the ward it'd be much, much worse.

[QUOTE=despair3173;48214181]because my dad cant deal with his own stress, he doesnt tell anyone, then eventually breaks down and cries. As for my mum, ive confided with her in the past about my anxiety about going out at night (mugged 3 times, rip me) and she thought i was overreacting, and dissuaded me from trying to seek help. After me and my girlfriend broke up a few months ago, she started to get worried about me and we talked about everything. A month after we broke up, she got with another guy (i hated him, and her for getting with him) i told my mum, the conversation went something along the lines of; "Oh yeah, X has got a new boyfriend" "Well, you're just going to have to deal with that" like i wasnt expecting "aww poor you, that must be really hard" but she could have been a bit less of a cunt about it, she used to self harm due to depression and you think she'd be a little more tactful/ a little less blunt. I dont blame her tho, she had an abusive boyfriend that used to threaten suicide all the time, and guilt her about it, so she's porbably not the best at sincerely attempting to make people feel less shit[/QUOTE] I see. I don't know how it works in the UK but I think you can just call up your local health center and they will redirect you. However, you should first try to look up psychiatric centers near you and give them a call and see if you can't skip directly to them.

Well my wife tried to commit suicide today. She only didn't succeed because I hid the vicodin. And hanging didn't work. And now our door is busted in because I had to kick it in.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48217358]Well my wife tried to commit suicide today. She only didn't succeed because I hid the vicodin. And hanging didn't work. And now our door is busted in because I had to kick it in.[/QUOTE] Oh shit. How's she doing now?

Hi, I think I belong here. I just don't know what to say right now.

emptiness right now, just emptiness, fuck it, i don't know what to do with my life.

Shes no better. Her piece of crap mother rammed into her head since birth that she was worthless. She's a chaos kid. Add to that one damaging relationship after another, and she has zero self worth. So she has never felt good enough for me. No matter how much I tell her I love her. She says she wants to fix it. I do not believe her. I pretend I am OK. I'm going to try and find her a therapist tomorrow. Yet she believes therapists can't fix anything. [editline]15th July 2015[/editline] You know guys, kicking in a door was actually really easy.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48217601]Shes no better. Her piece of crap mother rammed into her head since birth that she was worthless. She's a chaos kid. Add to that one damaging relationship after another, and she has zero self worth. So she has never felt good enough for me. No matter how much I tell her I love her. She says she wants to fix it. I do not believe her. I pretend I am OK. I'm going to try and find her a therapist tomorrow. Yet she believes therapists can't fix anything. [editline]15th July 2015[/editline] You know guys, kicking in a door was actually really easy.[/QUOTE] Hope it works out. And yeah, just kick by the handle and it swings right open.

All I have is worry, fear, and depression. I constantly lie to people when they ask me if something is wrong or if I'm feeling ok. I don't want to burden them or worse lose them because they think I'm weak. I don't like being hated but yet I feel as if I should be. I always think of what I done wrong instead of what I did right. The only person I'm close enough to talk to about how I feel I'm afraid to. Afraid of losing them. My life has been shit from the beginning. It sometimes gets better but not for long.

[QUOTE=DeEz;48217729]Hope it works out. And yeah, just kick by the handle and it swings right open.[/QUOTE] Thank you. I'm 22. I don't really know how to handle this and I feel like I'm running out of strength. [editline]15th July 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Vipes;48217746]All I have is worry, fear, and depression. I constantly lie to people when they ask me if something is wrong or if I'm feeling ok. I don't want to burden them or worse lose them because they think I'm weak. I don't like being hated but yet I feel as if I should be. I always think of what I done wrong instead of what I did right. The only person I'm close enough to talk to about how I feel I'm afraid to. Afraid of losing them. My life has been shit from the beginning. It sometimes gets better but not for long.[/QUOTE] Tell people. Some will go away. But they needed to be gone if that's the case. Those that really care will show support.

[QUOTE=Vipes;48217746]All I have is worry, fear, and depression. I constantly lie to people when they ask me if something is wrong or if I'm feeling ok. I don't want to burden them or worse lose them because they think I'm weak. I don't like being hated but yet I feel as if I should be. I always think of what I done wrong instead of what I did right. The only person I'm close enough to talk to about how I feel I'm afraid to. Afraid of losing them. My life has been shit from the beginning. It sometimes gets better but not for long.[/QUOTE] Who are you close enough to talk to? [editline]16th July 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=D0C H.;48217809]Thank you. I'm 22. I don't really know how to handle this and I feel like I'm running out of strength.[/QUOTE] Just to be sure, you did call 911 right?

[QUOTE=DeEz;48217825]Who are you close enough to talk to?[/QUOTE] Don't think I should say their name but it's the same person I'm talking about here [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1446327&p=48216805&viewfull=1#post48216805[/url]

[QUOTE=Vipes;48217918]Don't think I should say their name but it's the same person I'm talking about here [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1446327&p=48216805&viewfull=1#post48216805[/url][/QUOTE] What about your parents? Any relatives?

Nopw

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48217981]Nopw[/QUOTE] You're gonna have to do that right now. If she has just attempted her life she needs to see a professional ASAP. 911, suicide hotline or any other emergency number. Right now.

So our kids can get taken away? And my life can get even harder? Sounds fun.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48218051]So our kids can get taken away? And my life can get even harder? Sounds fun.[/QUOTE] Even if she lost custody, you'd still have it. It's up to you how you want to go about this but I can't stress this enough how vital it is that she sees a professional at once.