So many people who post here don't get help anymore. It makes me even more depressed.
A lot of people read these things without posting or helping, but I found a lot of comfort in knowing I wasn't alone in what I felt and seeing that you can build yourself back up.
Personally I don't wanna talk about mine because it's a bore and mostly drug related, some parts include my oldest brother doing speed for 4 years in his adult life, while running a computer business which failed because of him, then somehow running the family business of window furnishings (curtains, blinds, awnings etc.) for a while. He was causing a lot of headaches doing that much speed, fortunately he got medication recently and is a lot better.
I myself do weed now, partially due to stress and my best friend has just started doing it full on. It takes a while to get a good experience for a life time, and we're young. I smoked it a year or two before him (I'm 20 this year) and I like to think hes influencing me, but really it's up to me. And we're moving from our small mining town of 15,000 to Brisbane in Australia in a month from posting this, so quitting is planned for then.
Anyhow I suppose this is substance abuse related, but I was in a bad way a few months ago. Almost getting a girlfriend but practically breaking down since she wanted me to quit weed. I became a mute to my family and friends, didn't text or call anyone, or try at my job, which is sole-sales in the family business mentioned before, which provides a lot of the income for my parents, who are under quite a lot of debt and don't own a house. Chemical imbalances won't just be caused by illicit drugs however. Severe depression and anxiety can cause temporary but unhealthy changes in your hormone composition which I'm sure a lot of you are aware of. Keep that in mind that what you feel is real, but can also be fixed.
At those dark times I thought about suicide a lot, what got me through was thinking about how much you would miss out on: your siblings getting married and your own wife and family for example. You gotta take time and if you need to see a shrink or doctor about your problems do it, go to your parents and make it discreet. Otherwise talk to someone you trust, tell them how you feel, that helped me a lot.
Beat this thing and join the rest of us! So many exciting things to do in this world you simply cannot do them all. Life is worth living and enjoying. Play your cards right, be patient and watch your empire grow, otherwise bad luck but try look on it with a good heart. Everyone doesn't have the comfiest living conditions but it's up to you, no matter what you look like when you do it.
ain't nothing like guilt tripping and tearing myself apart over mania in the past.
my therapist upped my prescription. i wish i could try lithium, it has great reviews.
Life sucks, when you realise everything.
[editline]21st May 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=ethancole117;40670476]Christ, I feel like I am falling apart. Like I am some robot slowly breaking down as the world around me collapses.
Just a week ago I was happy at my job with my girlfriend of two years and getting my diploma. (I didn't graduate High School so I have since gone back and am working on it.)
As of yesterday my girlfriend (one mentioned above) calls me and says "We're single now, deal with it. I'm leaving you for this hot Australian guy I met." and immediately hangs up like the past year and a half were nothing to her. I hadn't realized it at first but the "Hot Aussie guy" is actually a very old friend of mine from elementary school and I had introduced the two about a month ago.
As of today I was fired from my job because another employee had laid the blame on me for his mistake. He lost our boss ~$15,000.
To top it all off my school is considering closing due to budget cuts. So the odds of me finishing my courses in time to get my diploma are pretty much at 0%.
I've dealt with depression and all before but it has never been this strong before. Also, I don't know if its because of a huge amount of stress or what but I have actually started to hear people calling my name when I am alone. It sounds like its from in my own head but its not my own voice. It scares me to think that I might actually be going insane.[/QUOTE]
Tough issuise,(IMO) i think you should think of about something else than just only about bad stuff. Think of about good past stuff, family, old friends, good school friends. Maybe they can help you out with this problem. its not life-time crysis yet.
I just want to cry..
[QUOTE=ethancole117;40670476]I have actually started to hear people calling my name when I am alone. It sounds like its from in my own head but its not my own voice. It scares me to think that I might actually be going insane.[/QUOTE]
I experience something similar, and you should [I]really[/I] consider telling someone.. I used to just hear a voice telling me 'shut the fuck up' when I thought certain things. It scared the shit out of me at first, but I let it get worse.. Now whenever I hear it I have convulsions in my neck that really violently yank my head to the right.. I'm not saying you will be the same, but you really should look for help.
Haven't really posted here in a while. Been kind of bottling my emotions up.
My sister has been going through some fucked up shit.
Like really fucked up shit. She's 13, wants to get a sex change, bisexual, is currently dating some woman that she hates with all her guts (she's fucking 18).
I honestly think that we're one big fucked up family. I'm gay, I have confidence issues, I have anger issues, I have mood swings. I even fucking dated 2 facepunchers who used to be permabanned and thanks to garry's birthday, they're not. That's how fucking pathetic I am. Even though people have much worse issues, I write pointless paragraph long posts about how much of a sorry shit I am. I was even told by the most friendliest, chill person on facepunch that my issues are petty and I shouldn't cry about them.
I've been also telling people to go away by being a passive aggressive cunt to spare their sympathy or whatever.
Jesus this is a good fucking place to vent.
So...I'm contemplating suicide and self harming again, and I don't really know why it got this bad. I just went through a bad breakup of the abrupt kind, and it caused me to have the worst mental breakdown I've ever had. I'm 20, and I haven't self-harmed in 6 years. I thought it was just an emo phase and I was a dumb teen who was too emotional. Well part of that is true, until it happened again.
I don't know what came over me, but right after our relationship ended, as I was driving home, I swerved into oncoming traffic, causing a car to swerve out of the way. I had blacked out in grief, punching everything in the car. Seriously, to an outside observer I was a rabid animal. Luckily I didn't hit the other car, but when I got home, the shit really hit the fan. I fell on the floor and began to just go insane. I started screaming, cursing the gods, and punching the floor until every knuckle on my hands were raw and bleeding. I started getting drunk, and it only got worse. After smoking half a pack of cigarettes in succession (I usually smoke 1-2 a day), I went back inside and thought I was good, until it came again. This time the grief hit me so hard I grabbed a brand new knife my father got me 2 days before, and pulled out the saw blade. I looked at it for a few seconds not really thinking...then I just thrashed myself with it in my left forearm. 4 times I sawed at my arm, then twice in the same spot, creating a nice big gash.
I immediately regretted it, and my wounds are still healing from that night. I look like I beat the hell outta someone and he cut me in the arm. Maybe that'll be my story if someone asks. But anyway, I'm not quite sure what to make of this, I've always struggled with depression, but stress is not something I'm really vulnerable to. In fact, stress helps my depression in some ways. But this breakup sent me over the edge, and it wasn't so much about the breakup as it was about years and years of pent up rage and sadness that exploded after what happened.
The silver lining is, every time I've had a breakdown, I've become a much better person afterwards. Maybe it'll be the same this time, and I'll be a happier person after this, but I'm still going through this breakdown, and it'll last for a while, I feel. But when it ends, hopefully the sun will still be shining.
i've been on the verge of a complete psychotic breakdown for the past month. many different stress factors and such
i mean like it could have gotten bad.
then i went to the doctor and upped my meds.
gotta say even though i normally hate these kinds of meds but for the first time in forever they're actually providing me with relief. the sad part though is that i'm basically a zombie. which i don't mind, it's just sad how fucking low-functioning i am when i should seriously have rocket boosters attached to my ass.
i mean like i can barely do stuff without a risk of a breakdown it seems. some part of me is insanely fragile and i don't even really know what part it is. the thing that pisses me off the most is that the rest is tough as fuck, if i only wasn't fragile in this way i'd be such a better person.
anyone here from Quebec?
Well I've almost hit rock bottom. I'm at the point where I tell good people to fuck off because they remind me of my ex-boyfriend. I did this about 2 nights ago during an anxiety attack. I tried apologizing but trying to explain my situation doesn't work (who fucking knew that saying "oh hey sorry man i told you to fuck off, it's just that you remind me of my ex lol"). Of course I didn't say it like that, but god damn thats what if fucking felt like when I read it over. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
Guys, I think we should try to make this thread active again. But not so much for coming in an laying it all out. I know that can feel good every once in a while, and sometimes you just get in a frame of mind where that's all you can do. But to be honest, what I want most from a "therapy" thread is just some people to talk to. I would like to focus on just getting to know the people here, if there are any left. I'll start.
My real name is Mike, I am 20 years old. I am married with two step daughters. I have a nice job. A lot has happened in my life that is causing me to be depressed, but we'll get to that later. I live in California.
Your turn. Give us a vague idea about what's bothering you, but don't go into details yet. Tell us your real first name, where you live, and a little bit about you. Let's get the ball rolling.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;40761323]Well I've almost hit rock bottom. I'm at the point where I tell good people to fuck off because they remind me of my ex-boyfriend. I did this about 2 nights ago during an anxiety attack. I tried apologizing but trying to explain my situation doesn't work (who fucking knew that saying "oh hey sorry man i told you to fuck off, it's just that you remind me of my ex lol"). Of course I didn't say it like that, but god damn that's what if fucking felt like when I read it over. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.[/QUOTE]
I can relate...sometimes when you're suffering, you say things that you can't take back, adding to your pain when you realize you're actions. It's even harder knowing that you go in a full circle in the process, ending up back in square one.
You're not alone in this feeling...
[QUOTE=CAPT Opp4;40769404]I can relate...sometimes when you're suffering, you say things that you can't take back, adding to your pain when you realize you're actions. It's even harder knowing that you go in a full circle in the process, ending up back in square one.
You're not alone in this feeling...[/QUOTE]
Doesn't really help considering I kinda force my morals about how it's bad to be an ass towards someone, how two wrongs don't make a right, ect ect.
depression sucks
[QUOTE=D0C H.;40769015]Tell us your real first name, where you live, and a little bit about you. Let's get the ball rolling.[/QUOTE]
My name's Joe, I live in Virginia Beach, and I used to like art and music. I spend most of my time alone or trying to find work. I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me, I just know I'm not normal :v:
[QUOTE=JoeyZ;40773862]My name's Joe, I live in Virginia Beach, and I used to like art and music. I spend most of my time alone or trying to find work. I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me, I just know I'm not normal :v:[/QUOTE]
VA? shit man let's hang out
[QUOTE=johnsten;40773876]VA? shit man let's hang out[/QUOTE]
I'm not into seeing people right now, sorry :/ Avoiding my regular friends is hard enough.. although I'm sure we woulda had a great time, maybe go to the boardwalk, go fishing in Pungo, smoke some crack in Portsmouth who knows :v:
[QUOTE=D0C H.;40769015]My real name is Mike, I am 20 years old. I am married with two step daughters. I have a nice job. A lot has happened in my life that is causing me to be depressed, but we'll get to that later. I live in California.
Your turn. Give us a vague idea about what's bothering you, but don't go into details yet. Tell us your real first name, where you live, and a little bit about you. Let's get the ball rolling.[/QUOTE]
My name is Matthew, I am 17 years old. No relationship. No job. Depressed because I made a lot of shit decisions in my life, I get upset over the smallest shit, I've made a lot of people dislike me, I'm not the smartest person in the world, I'm not that attractive, I sometimes question my mental health, ect ect.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;40784503]My name is Matthew, I am 17 years old. No relationship. No job. Depressed because I made a lot of shit decisions in my life, I get upset over the smallest shit, I've made a lot of people dislike me, I'm not the smartest person in the world, I'm not that attractive, I sometimes question my mental health, ect ect.[/QUOTE]
Well, im not going to lie, you may want to get help with a provider or professional if you feel like you're questioning your mental status, and that you have negative behavior like telling people to "fuck off" because they remind you of someone.
But also, look at this in perspective, you are 17. Who the cares if you're not in a relationship. You dont sound ready for one to be honest. im 19 and not in a relationship, yeah it sucks, but it shouldn't stop you. Worry about that stuff down the road, you should focus on YOU right now, not someone else. The no job part sucks, but you are young, you most likely are still with your parents so you're not going to die without a steady income. Just keep applying for jobs, and hope for the best. Dont feel discouraged about the no job part though, a lot of adults who are qualified in their profession are out of work.
Not having a job can really take a toll on you, especially if really are trying your best to find one. You really just have to be persistent and take it in stride.. I've applied to countless businesses in my area for about two years, and I only just now got my first interview.. It's all about patience
So, I myself don't have any of these issues, but a friend of mine has had anxiety problems for quite some time now. So, how can I help her? :\
I'm so tired of people telling me they will be there for me and they just want to help, and then when I actually try to confide in them they get overwhelmed like I just told them I have brain cancer or some shit :/
I think I'm getting committed tomorrow.
[QUOTE=cam64DD;40795390]So, I myself don't have any of these issues, but a friend of mine has had anxiety problems for quite some time now. So, how can I help her? :\[/QUOTE]
Find out what triggers her anxiety and do your best to stay away from those subjects. If she does happen to get anxious around you do your best to comfort her. It all depends on the person, though.
[editline]27th May 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=flamehead5;40798408]I think I'm getting committed tomorrow.[/QUOTE]
What happened?
[QUOTE=JoeyZ;40798410]Find out what triggers her anxiety and do your best to stay away from those subjects. If she does happen to get anxious around you do your best to comfort her. It all depends on the person, though.
[editline]27th May 2013[/editline]
What happened?[/QUOTE]
I went to the hospital on friday with my social worker, and the only reason I wasn't committed was due to a lack of beds. And something just happened that I can't really disclose on FP (Because someone I know has my FP...) and it's gotten me so depressed it's incredible...
[editline]27th May 2013[/editline]
So now I'm going to leave and sit in a park, alone...
[QUOTE=flamehead5;40798474]And something just happened that I can't really disclose on FP (Because someone I know has my FP...) and it's gotten me so depressed it's incredible...[/QUOTE]
PM me? If it helps
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;40785875]Well, im not going to lie, you may want to get help with a provider or professional if you feel like you're questioning your mental status, and that you have negative behavior like telling people to "fuck off" because they remind you of someone.
But also, look at this in perspective, you are 17. Who the cares if you're not in a relationship. You dont sound ready for one to be honest. im 19 and not in a relationship, yeah it sucks, but it shouldn't stop you. Worry about that stuff down the road, you should focus on YOU right now, not someone else. The no job part sucks, but you are young, you most likely are still with your parents so you're not going to die without a steady income. Just keep applying for jobs, and hope for the best. Dont feel discouraged about the no job part though, a lot of adults who are qualified in their profession are out of work.[/QUOTE]
Yeah I given up dating until I am cured of all this bullshit. I am clearly not ready, like you said.
I'm also going to see a psychiatrist, but there's a 6 month long waiting list. Worst part about the job thing is that I'm not really motivated to do stuff.
I guarantee in two years I will be "cured" of all my issues.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;40784503]My name is Matthew, I am 17 years old. No relationship. No job. Depressed because I made a lot of shit decisions in my life, I get upset over the smallest shit, I've made a lot of people dislike me, I'm not the smartest person in the world, I'm not that attractive, I sometimes question my mental health, ect ect.[/QUOTE]
Remember. There are always going to be rough patches. It helps when you distance yourself from the situation, get some time to think it over, and don't dwell on it. It's hard, I know, but I've read several of your posts throughout the forum. You seem like a smart, funny, awesome person from what I've seen. You seem to be thinking too little of yourself. It may not mean much, but the bad things about yourself that you've posted don't seem to reflect on how I've seen you around the forum. While a forum may be different than real life, always remember the good qualities about yourself, and remember that there will always be people who care for you.
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