Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48416190]Shave it all off! You might not like it at first, but you also might find that you do like it eventually! Plus, you'll never again have to worry about looking bald. I know this dude that started balding super young. Now he just shaves his head. And the guy looks beast. (it helps that he's almost 7' tall and kinda buff. But still.)I Give it a shot.[/QUOTE]No, it's not a look that works with my face, it will just make me look like a weirdo with a shiny head, like George on Seinfeld. If I was 40 then perhaps, but I'm finding it hard enough to get a girlfriend.

Well, I think anyone could look good with a shaved head if they own it. You'd probably look better than you think! It really depends on how you dress. Slimmer guys can look good shaved. And so can guys with bigger heads. Think of kingpin (Vincent D.). He's got more weight on him and a rounder head, but still looks good. Just an idea man. Remember, you probably don't look as bad as you feel you do. And don't be afraid to make a change.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;48416600]No, it's not a look that works with my face, it will just make me look like a weirdo with a shiny head, like George on Seinfeld. If I was 40 then perhaps, but I'm finding it hard enough to get a girlfriend.[/QUOTE] Georgie Boy got all the girls though.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;48413211]The main thing that makes me depressed is hairloss. I'm 27 now and when I'm 30 I'll look like someone's dad. I find this horrifying and I don't see the positive. Sort of seems like life is really gonna suck when that happens.[/QUOTE] I'm 20 and I recently shaved mine off, I had pretty much nothing left in the front. I could sit and just pull out a whole bunch without even having to use my muscles. It's a shame, I really liked having long hair but I looked terrible because of the widows peak. It's just something that happens, you just gotta accept, even though it sucks.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48416715]Well, I think anyone could look good with a shaved head if they own it. You'd probably look better than you think! It really depends on how you dress. Slimmer guys can look good shaved. And so can guys with bigger heads. Think of kingpin (Vincent D.). He's got more weight on him and a rounder head, but still looks good. Just an idea man. Remember, you probably don't look as bad as you feel you do. And don't be afraid to make a change.[/QUOTE] The anxiety of how horrible I'm going to look is enough to make want to kill myself. I feel like I'm stuck on a train about to crash into a wall and there is no way off. [QUOTE=KillerTele;48416835]I'm 20 and I recently shaved mine off, I had pretty much nothing left in the front. I could sit and just pull out a whole bunch without even having to use my muscles. It's a shame, I really liked having long hair but I looked terrible because of the widows peak. It's just something that happens, you just gotta accept, even though it sucks.[/QUOTE]I guess it's just dark days ahead. I can't be the person I want to be. I've failed before I've even tried. If life sucks the solution can only be death.

Own what you got. Don't beat yourself up. "I got what I got and I'm gonna make it look good!"

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48416956]Own what you got. Don't beat yourself up. "I got what I got and I'm gonna make it look good!"[/QUOTE]Own what? I've got nothing?

Youve got what you got. You have a slender frame? Dress to bulk. Larger frame? Dress to show off your shoulders. Etc. You can work with what you got. [editline]9th August 2015[/editline] Check it out. All these dudes are balding. Many clipped their hair instead of razor shave. And they still look suave. [url]https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=webhp&tbm=isch&source=hp&ei=zo3HVZPmJ5fMoATtwpOYDA&q=stylish+balding+men+&oq=stylish+balding+men+&gs_l=mobile-gws-hp.3..0i8i30.2736.12077.0.12276.20.20.0.1.1.1.863.3393.1j18j6-1.20.0..2..0...1.1.64.mobile-gws-hp..0.20.2839.3.e-7Z1mGh5P4[/url]

Well, something I can say is that two of my favorite people ever were bald/balding... Ken Kesey [t]http://i.imgur.com/44Cixyi.jpg[/t] Jamie Mantzel (youtuber [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86Krv3gE-c4[/URL] ) [t]http://i.imgur.com/DM0aZLt.jpg[/t] Don't let something as small as that hold you down... and beauty goes way beyond looks. Confidence and happyness are more attractive than...nice hair styles or whatever. Don't worry too much about it... If you focus on feeling good and healthy (both mentally and physically), you'll become attractive. Believe me. EDIT: [quote]I guess it's just dark days ahead. I can't be the person I want to be. I've failed before I've even tried. If life sucks the solution can only be death.[/quote] Jesus man! Really? Wake up. You can fight to be whoever you want man, just with a different hairstyle! C'mon! Your hair DOES NOT define who you are! DO NOT let this hold you down like that!

Thought I'd give this a try again. My family currently is in Bristol with my own Dog (who turned 14 a few days ago) - I chose not to go. I had no reason, no justifications to go with the family, just "No." and went to do my own thing. I've been crying most nights silently even though I know that no one is in the house. I'm not progressing anywhere - I don't know where to turn to for my future, I don't trust the JobCentres / Universal Credit scheme enough to help me access the Disability Employment Advisors (they will only let you access them WHEN you're signed on, when I know I cannot meet the demands they expect of me), the charities that could help me gain employment will only accept a referral from JobCentre / Universal Credit staff (thus, requiring to be signed on), and I already worry that the doctor will not sign me off a sick note because I don't look severely depressed. I don't know where to go with all of this.

I feel like I'm forgetting how to eat.

My father died last night. I watched him die, we pulled the breathing tube. He was a trial lawyer, a brilliant speaker, and had suffered massive strokes through out all of his brain, leaving him blind, incoherent, paraplegic, and weakened on both sides of his body to a disturbing degree, and that's if he ever woke up at all. He had 0 kidney function, and only 1/4 of his lungs functioned with any degree of efficiency. He was the best man I've ever known and was the kindest person you'd ever meet, he won citizen of the year and ran a shit ton of charity events, he was the guiding force in my life. And I watched him die. I made, we made that decision to honour his wishes. He wouldn't want to live like that. I don't even know how to begin living without him, everything reminds me of him.

I'll tell you this after watching my father die very slowly and horribly, just hold on. Distract yourself. Always distract yourself. And someday you'll feel Ok. Someday, you'll be alright. Just hold on.

Having failed school i'll have to repeat a year and i can't just cope with the thought Another 3 fucking years of this sounds like forever and it makes things even more unbearable

You can make it! Just get a hobby that gives you a sense of accomplishment. I made short films through school and it got me through.

What a day today was. Could not sleep the entire night. Crying. Going bowling with my closest friends. Trying not to cry while bowling. Having pizza with the same bunch. Enjoying it for a bit and then relapsing to what has been my eating habit lately (My eating lately has consisted of taking a small portion and scoffing it down to be done with it and not having to deal with company). This time scoffing down almost half the pizza to then leave for a smoke. Then the best part of today was just passively sitting around the backyard at my friends' place. [editline]10th August 2015[/editline] I have to call myself a new appointment with my psychiatrist. A few days ago I admittedly did toy around with my revolver again, the same way I did last time. This is fucked.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48417079]Youve got what you got. You have a slender frame? Dress to bulk. Larger frame? Dress to show off your shoulders. Etc. You can work with what you got. [editline]9th August 2015[/editline] Check it out. All these dudes are balding. Many clipped their hair instead of razor shave. And they still look suave. [url]https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=webhp&tbm=isch&source=hp&ei=zo3HVZPmJ5fMoATtwpOYDA&q=stylish+balding+men+&oq=stylish+balding+men+&gs_l=mobile-gws-hp.3..0i8i30.2736.12077.0.12276.20.20.0.1.1.1.863.3393.1j18j6-1.20.0..2..0...1.1.64.mobile-gws-hp..0.20.2839.3.e-7Z1mGh5P4[/url][/QUOTE]Everyone says I look shit with a beard and with my face being bald just looks wrong. It doesn't matter what I wear. When I do have to shave my heard, I'll probably act like an asshole towards people then smash my against a wall, per [QUOTE=-The_D-;48417379]Well, something I can say is that two of my favorite people ever were bald/balding... Ken Kesey [t]http://i.imgur.com/44Cixyi.jpg[/t] Jamie Mantzel (youtuber [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86Krv3gE-c4[/URL] ) [t]http://i.imgur.com/DM0aZLt.jpg[/t] Don't let something as small as that hold you down... and beauty goes way beyond looks. Confidence and happyness are more attractive than...nice hair styles or whatever. Don't worry too much about it... If you focus on feeling good and healthy (both mentally and physically), you'll become attractive. Believe me. EDIT: Jesus man! Really? Wake up. You can fight to be whoever you want man, just with a different hairstyle! C'mon! Your hair DOES NOT define who you are! DO NOT let this hold you down like that![/QUOTE]Those guys are a lot older than me. I don't look how I want to look. Who I am on the outside effects who the inside and I look like a dicked so I should probably start acting like one.

I haven't talk to a therapist in a while since I'm not at college so I wanted to just get some things out and also give some advise, take it if you want. I don't even know where to start sometimes. I feel so alone sometimes, but I also want to be alone most of the time. My friends just don't talk to me or include me in anything they do (besides ones that I play video games with but I never see them). I wonder if I'm doing something wrong or pushing them away with my selfishness of wanting to be alone, or they just don't want to hangout with me anymore. Me and my mom can't get along. I love her and I want to relate with her on something but its just easier to not have a conversation since we argue or she just make me feel like she does because she never talks about anything happy. Me and my dad do a bunch together and that makes her even more depressed. (I think) People think I'm gay since most of the girls I have sexual relations with I just kind of use and don't talk to anymore. It's not because I want to stop i just get depressed and push them away or I want a relationship that would never happened. My advise would be to talk to someone if you feel like I do. Wheater it be a friend, family member, or a therapist. I, at one point, let it get all bottled up and contemplated killing myself. It was not a great time in my life and I don't think anyone should go through it. It may seem like the end of the world exposing yourself to someone like that but it's better then harming yourself or others. If you've read all of this. Thank you for listening and its going to be alright.

Just realized yesterday that I've actually grown up. I'm done with highschool and after everything I really need a break to get myself together. That thing that really struck my inside was that everyone I know is suddenly just leaving for new schools, while I was to stressed out when we were supposed to get everything settled. Pretty much only one guy isn't leaving and he is already really occupied, so I guess my social life is going to be at an all time low this year. Can't say I'm really looking forward to it to be honest...

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;48420321]Everyone says I look shit with a beard and with my face being bald just looks wrong. It doesn't matter what I wear. When I do have to shave my heard, I'll probably act like an asshole towards people then smash my against a wall, per Those guys are a lot older than me. I don't look how I want to look. Who I am on the outside effects who the inside and I look like a dicked so I should probably start acting like one.[/QUOTE] It's the other way around buddy... The outside becomes a reflection of the inside. You won't look like a dickhead if you don't act like one. Plus, it doesn't matter what you look like, what matters is what you are... A friend of my father's is bald and he's one of the most gentle people I know...it's all in the eyes and the smile... Doesn't matter how old the above people are. They look good because they are comfortable with being bald and learned to make the best out of it. I doubt they looked how they wanted too either at first... Don't let something like this define who you are.

[QUOTE=-The_D-;48422452]It's the other way around buddy... The outside becomes a reflection of the inside. You won't look like a dickhead if you don't act like one. Plus, it doesn't matter what you look like, what matters is what you are... A friend of my father's is bald and he's one of the most gentle people I know...it's all in the eyes and the smile... Doesn't matter how old the above people are. They look good because they are comfortable with being bald and learned to make the best out of it. I doubt they looked how they wanted too either at first... Don't let something like this define who you are.[/QUOTE]I'm not deep and profound enough to "accept" shitty flaws or "who I am", (also have borderline aspergers) I just want to fix these problems, seeing as how "that's the way it is" the anxiety will just turn me into a nasty person. Feels like the world belongs to someone else and I'm falling off it.

So I managed to call the psychiatrists time reservation. Turned out that I did have a time reserved. Had only forgotten about it. But I did get scared when the reservationist said that my time is on the 20th of eighth. Which I first misheard as "On the twenty-eighth" :v:

My friend died last night from a hit and run. I feel pretty broken right now. I just don't understand how people can be so irresponsible behind the wheel of a car and think they can get away with what basically amounts to murder.

[QUOTE=joshuadim;48423817]My friend died last night from a hit and run. I feel pretty broken right now. I just don't understand how people can be so irresponsible behind the wheel of a car and think they can get away with what basically amounts to murder.[/QUOTE] if you ask me it basically amounts to an 'I dont care' attitude and basically tunnel vision/narrow focus of thinking. The average driver tends to only care about the things they have to do (like for a trucker, deliver his goods on time, or for a taxi driver, get to their destinations as soon as possible.) Also a bunch of folks tend to have a disregard for the rules of the road; they dont give two fucks unless they get pulled over and cited for running a red light, or attempt really fucking stupid things like taking over on the wrong side, or attempting to drive into the wrong lanes because 'hey there's nobody immediately in front of us lets use it to overtake.' This is to say nothing of drivers who have no licence/only a learner's permit but never got a real licence to begin with. They tend to be the worst offenders particularly if they were self-taught/taught by somebody else without a formal course of instruction, though this in and of itself isn't that big a factor compared to wilful negligence. The problem is, as it stands the human factor is the major causative agent in a number of accidents, either through rash driving, careless driving, or simple mischance. You'll never be able to completely eliminate this, not even if by magic everybody learns overnight to follow the rules of the road and sticks to safe, defensive driving.

[QUOTE=BigBadWilly;48415208]Truly I hope to be able to do modeling I just got to do some researching and find out where I can go around here for computer modeling, Ik I can go to this one college in town for Computer programming (Programming is my last resort) Motivation is my main problem for learning and practicing right now and I've lost quite a bit of it with the amount people put me down with what I've done Coding/Modeling wise[/QUOTE] Don't worry man. I believe in you!

been feeling a little lonely lately, but haven't had the excess energy to spend talking. whenever people contact me I've just felt "oh god not now". I'm in this weird middle ground where I feel good enough to be bored and lonely, but I'm still not in the condition to actually satisfy these needs. I've gained another kg since I last posted about my weight, not feeling good about that at all. I was thinking of mentioning it to my doctor so I could get a plan to follow to lose weight. I already got a food plan, just need an exercise plan as well. something else, I'll be quitting Zyprexa now. I don't know if I already posted about it or not, but I've begun tapering off them now. hopefully I'll feel better once they're gone, but it could make me worse as well. I suppose I'll find out once I'm off them for good.

Talk to your doc about that exercise plan! It's incredible what changes to your body's chemistry exercise can make

Goddammit! After two days of being down in the gutter I now then get a jolt out of somewhere. First of all I can't help but feeling now exactly like this one chart: [T]http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-07/23/15/enhanced/webdr03/enhanced-4692-1437679085-2.jpg[/T] And the contrast just feels all too sudden. I can't help but suspect that it might be hypomania. I'll have to bring it up with my psychiatrist next week. Oh man! 9 days til' that :scream:

I hate my voice I sound like I'm fucking 10

Finally sucked it up and got a blood test for toxoplasmosis after suspecting it being the cause of my encephalitis, ongoing eye pain and depression for the past year and a half. Came up positive for Toxoplasmosis antibodies. Funzies.