Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Skullivan21;39771733] /Rant [/QUOTE] I feel I should up date, she never hated me, just didn't want a relationship, which I'm fine with. He though, is acting like a five year old who got his new toy taken away... I'm gonna give him till tomorrow to cool off and see if he has stopped crying. Thanks all who responded and if you didn't thanks all the same. You guys can be pretty cool sometimes... And to those of you going through your own shit, there is no one worth more in your life than you. If someone tries to say otherwise they aren't worth knowing. And if you think it's not worth it then just keep pushing on, even if it takes a while, things will turn in your favor. And never be afraid to tell someone. Much Respect Skullivan21

[QUOTE=Abrown516;39776808]Experience in therapy or with medication?[/QUOTE] Both

I can't seem to bring myself to care about anyone or anything anymore (besides my dog). I've fucked up and had others take advantage of me too many times. Even if I think I'm escaping my little personal hell and becoming happy, I crash down even harder. My friends are all happy and in the back of my mind I resent them. What's wrong with me? Every girl I've ever been close to treated me like trash, and on top of that I struggle to overcome my shyness around people, because I'm so paranoid I cant trust them. What keeps me going is thinking if I just hold on things will get better, but as I grow older I see more and more how screwed up everything is around me.

Okay, well I started therapy so that I could talk to someone and even at worst it wouldn't hurt. My counselor is nice and maybe not the easiest to talk to, but still comfortable enough to vent and offer feedback. Anyways, therapy is a process and will take a while to pick up on progression. I'm pretty impatient though, which is why I'm lightening up to the idea of medication. I still like going to therapy. It's something I look forward to to get me through the week. I just wish I could feel better now. I haven't tried medication yet but whenever I see a psychiatrist I'll see what they suggest.

Idk if this has anything to do with the topic, but I think I might have DID

I don't feel like I fit anywhere. People generally like me and I can tolerate most other people, but I really don't have any friends. To me, it feels like most of the people around me are obsessed with partying, drinking, getting high, and doing crazy shit. I just want to be friends with a group of people who enjoy video games and anime, and are willing to talk to me about interests - as opposed to me talking to my Internet friends about them. But at the same time, I don't want to be judged. Plus, I'm a grade-A fucking asshole because I use it to mask my depression.

Forever alone :/

[QUOTE=Zeke129;39765806]Does anyone else have problems looking at old photos of themselves? I'm fine with current ones/looking in the mirror/etc but when I look at pictures of myself as a kid I absolutely resent the person I see in them[/QUOTE]I look back and see a better person. Makes me feel awful. [editline]3rd March 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=cheetahben;39783759]I don't feel like I fit anywhere. People generally like me and I can tolerate most other people, but I really don't have any friends. To me, it feels like most of the people around me are obsessed with partying, drinking, getting high, and doing crazy shit. I just want to be friends with a group of people who enjoy video games and anime, and are willing to talk to me about interests - as opposed to me talking to my Internet friends about them. But at the same time, I don't want to be judged. Plus, I'm a grade-A fucking asshole because I use it to mask my depression.[/QUOTE]Whoa - minus anime, this describes me perfectly.

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Ok, this is really getting in the way of everything right now- I've been bouncing from joy to depression sporadically ever since our family bought a new house. It seems that all buying the new house has caused is problems, problems, and more problems. The arguments between my parents are growing more frequent and heated, there's so much yelling... I don't think I can take it any more, they always start with my mom getting pissed off at something my dad is doing wrong, she over-dramatizes it which gets him angry, and the arguments always end with my dad storming off, and my mom sitting quietly on the couch listening to music, looking downright suicidal. I feel like they're both at fault, I talked to my mom about it and she just shrugs it off, and I wont even try talking to my dad about it- whenever one of these fights ends, he looks like he is ready to throw someone through a wall, so I'm not going anywhere near him at those times. I know that we are having problems, like my mom buying stuff that we can't afford, or my dad just ignoring ongoing problems that could be fixed with relative ease, I told my mom that and that I want to help, that I just want this to be fixed, and she just stared at me and shrugged it off. At that point, I snapped. I started yelling and crying, and asking my mom why she and Dad are still married if they are capable of pushing out so much hate towards each other, and she shrugs that off as well, and told me not to worry about it. I just went back up to my room, and did what I always do- listened to some music, and talked to some old friends with more positive opinions on life. That helped, like it always does, but I want this to stop- I want to stop the endless shifts from happy to near suicidal, I just want to feel satisfied with my life and not feel like I'm losing control over everything.

I've spent hours laying on my bed with no motivation or desire to do anything, even to eat. I need help.

i have depersonalization and derealization from a bad weed trip shit sucks brudah

Is it worth it to keep trying new anti-depressants if the two kinds I've taken so far haven't helped? I don't want to keep wasting money on something that doesn't do anything.

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[QUOTE=Bigfoot;39792433]Is it worth it to keep trying new anti-depressants if the two kinds I've taken so far haven't helped? I don't want to keep wasting money on something that doesn't do anything.[/QUOTE] Give them 2-4 months before you confirm/deny if they work

If everything goes according to plan, I'll be dead on March 12th, on my 17th birthday. Nothing anyone can say or do will convince me otherwise. I've thought about this long and hard, and feel that it's for the best.

[QUOTE=cheetahben;39795935]If everything goes according to plan, I'll be dead on March 12th, on my 17th birthday. Nothing anyone can say or do will convince me otherwise. I've thought about this long and hard, and feel that it's for the best.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://addictionandrecoverynews.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/hope.jpg[/IMG]

[QUOTE=cheetahben;39783759]I don't feel like I fit anywhere. People generally like me and I can tolerate most other people, but I really don't have any friends. To me, it feels like most of the people around me are obsessed with partying, drinking, getting high, and doing crazy shit. I just want to be friends with a group of people who enjoy video games and anime, and are willing to talk to me about interests - as opposed to me talking to my Internet friends about them. But at the same time, I don't want to be judged. Plus, I'm a grade-A fucking asshole because I use it to mask my depression.[/QUOTE] That group is out there, you just gotta look for them.

How the fuck can I relax, and how the fuck can I get myself to stop thinking people will just lash out and start hating me?

[QUOTE=cheetahben;39795935]If everything goes according to plan, I'll be dead on March 12th, on my 17th birthday. Nothing anyone can say or do will convince me otherwise. I've thought about this long and hard, and feel that it's for the best.[/QUOTE] Are you seriously contemplating suicide?

[QUOTE=DeEz;39796256]Are you seriously contemplating suicide?[/QUOTE] I've been in and out of mental institutions for my suicidal ideations, and I think I'm ready. I always feel good when I'm in these places, but then I go into the real world and see everyone else being so fucking happy with all of their friends. I don't think I'll ever be ready to go into the real world.

[QUOTE=digigamer17;39796255]How the fuck can I relax, and how the fuck can I get myself to stop thinking people will just lash out and start hating me?[/QUOTE] [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation[/url] It's a great place to start, I don't know if you can find some audio tapes on youtube or not, but after practicing these techniques for a while they start to become automatic.

I need a hug

Drugs help, if you don't use them to shrug off your issues or "sweep them under the carpet", but rather, use them as a stepping stone to get back into the swing of things. [editline]4th March 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=fear me;39796308]I need a hug[/QUOTE] I don't think the internet can help with that one, bud. :v: [editline]4th March 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=cheetahben;39795935]If everything goes according to plan, I'll be dead on March 12th, on my 17th birthday. Nothing anyone can say or do will convince me otherwise. I've thought about this long and hard, and feel that it's for the best.[/QUOTE] Why would you tell anyone or say anything if you honestly have no second thoughts about doing so. You obviously want some attention, someone to show you a reason not to.

I have ADHD and i'm sort of trying to take control of my mind to be able to do shit right but i want to know how to just stop trying to hard and do it without even having to try.

I know this isn't really a depression thing. But, my Guinea Pig died today.. he was super cool and I'm hella sad about it. He had caught pneumonia, but it was too late to treat him. We got meds and everything but they didn't help him in time :( Overall, today has been a shitty day.

This thread is getting a lot more activity; I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

Well I am back... because where else would I post this stuff? Anyway, my current issue is that I feel... nothing, I'm not sad or angry, but I'm also not happy or anything. Like I just don't feel anything. I just went through some pretty tough shit last weekend, and some people are still pretty upset, and rightfully so. But still I feel nothing. As if it didn't happen... I don't like it, I was wondering if any of you felt this at some point and could tell me what's going on.

[QUOTE=cheetahben;39796283]I've been in and out of mental institutions for my suicidal ideations, and I think I'm ready. I always feel good when I'm in these places, but then I go into the real world and see everyone else being so fucking happy with all of their friends. I don't think I'll ever be ready to go into the real world.[/QUOTE] What? Talk to people. Honestly that's the best way to fix any problem. Want more friends? Talk to people at your work or school. Joke around with people! Join clubs! Just don't say anything weird and have fun!

I think I've been suffering from a form of PTSD since the age of 6. This was my age when my mother passed from liver cancer. I didn't cry at the funeral because I couldn't understand, and I didn't really get over it emotionally till I was 15-16. I still think about what my life could have been if my mother was alive, all the questions I could have asked, the possibilities I could have had in life had things been different. I've never had a girlfriend and every attempt has been rocked with failure. First girl I liked was in middle school, I told a friend I liked her and he told her, to which she got half the school to go after me. Fun. Second girl I met on my bus, and again my same friend though I didn't tell him shit told this girl I liked her, making things awkward as fuck and ruined my chances again. Third girl, I tried to be her friend for a year before attempting, after a year she got picked up by another guy so I was just her friend till he dumped her. I wanted her to be happy, and I just wanted someone to be with, but when her ex caught wind that I liked her, he swooped back at her and took her back. I asked her out online before he asked her out again but it was of no use, I even hinted to her he probably wasn't with her for good reasons, and lo and behold a month or two back dating, her boyfriend's cheating on her. Karma's a fucking bitch, I hate it. Fourth girl was another girl from the bus, who just didn't want me because I wasn't "scene". Fucking hell. Last girl I would consider me trying to get with though I never did was from my high school, I was sitting at the same table as this girl, and she asked me if I was gay because of how my friends talk to me. I get called "Davy Gravy" because my name is David, I get made fun of because I've never had a girlfriend or had sex, it makes me sad because I understand making jokes, but repeating shit and beating a dead horse is just narcissistic as fuck. After that I stopped trying to get with anyone, that and graduating high school, I've just been a laze about. I fucking hate it because I have a thing for women who don't care for me. I want to die because I'm so alone, I just want someone who will see me as a man and love me. I don't think I have high standards, I just want a woman. I want my mental equal, someone who's strong, intelligent, and independent.