Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

I haven't had a friend in about 3-4 years, and I have only a select few people that I talk to on Steam now, not that they really like to talk back. yeah its not so bad, seeing as i'm pretty useless at keeping them to begin with :v

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For most of the summer, I've been handling my anxiety and depression pretty well, despite a series of very unfortunate events. Yet, for the past few weeks, I've just been feeling really shitty all the time. My anxiety is worsening, and at nights, I just get so inexplicably sad. Not enough to cry (usually), but enough to make me WANT to cry. I am seriously dreading the on coming school year as well, since the last few years have been nothing but several severe panic attacks, failing classes, and just feeling like a worthless piece of shit. I am getting very worried that I'm going to dive into another one of my deep depression phases.

I found out that I have no problem with the concept of dying. I have a sense of self preservation in the sense of being attacked, etc, but when it comes down to it, I don't really care too much if I live or die. I'm rather curious to know what happens after you die and I could honestly say that I would kill my self if I felt that I had no purpose living. I'm not depressed, suicidal or anything though.

[QUOTE=OrkO;41573356]I feel constantly upset, depressed and lonely. I have plenty of friends but I don't feel able to talk to any of them about this. Every time I try to, the conversation gets uncomfortable for them and they say things such as "I really don't like talking about things like this." I don't have any real problems or tragedies in my life and so I am confused as to why I feel this way. I really feel the need to talk to someone tonight, or as soon as possible, if anybody here is even willing to listen, and it wouldn't really surprise me if nobody is. And so forth.[/QUOTE] I'm not sure how to reply to this, but I feel compelled to. I came into this thread to post about my own realization that I don't know how to be happy. Yet here I am replying to you. I don't share all of your feelings, but I sure as hell understand being mentally uncomfortable, and hiding it from your friends and family behind a smile. I don't have a solution for you, but at least accept my sympathies.

from now on, I'm going to use this song as my motivator [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo[/media]

During this summer I've been making a lot of really positive changes in my life but I started cycling into feeling good and then slammed by depression every 3 days, so I started to write about how I'm feeling whenever I get depressed and try to figure out why I'm feeling depressed. Well there's no answer to why and it just runs in my family so I started talking at myself and trying to fight the depression because I have no reason to feel this way. I ended up depression-free for about 2 weeks but now it's coming back and what I was doing to keep myself up isn't working anymore. Being social has been a 100% effective fix but only lasts as long as it's actually in progress, and as soon as I'm alone again my depression starts coming back harder than usual.

Reading all of these posts, I'm surprised by how many of you share the same feelings as me. I've been working on my own post for several days now, but I still find myself holding back. It's difficult to get everything in my mind down to text, thoughts just come and go so quickly and I find them to be too complex to write down in time to really grasp the meaning of them. I always have the desire to just let it all out deep down in my mind, and I know that it will take me a while to really have something concrete, but I'm going to keep working on it until I'm satisfied. I really wish I had the time and willpower to talk with all of you personally. I've come really close to contacting some people in this thread to see if they wanted to talk, but I always seem to chicken out at the last minute. It's hard to let these thoughts out, and along with the technical limitations put upon me by my main computer's recent hardware malfunction, I really feel as though I cannot devote as much time as I wish I could to this thread. Know that my heart goes out to all of you.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how depressed would I seem if [url=youtube.com/watch?v=lAIGb1lfpBw]this video[/url] didn't make me smile; rather it made me cry because I COULDN'T smile? I'm watching everything I fucking can to make myself at least smirk but nothing at all works.

I've been in my new uni subject for a few months now. It started off as a really involving experience that looked as if it could help me greatly improve my artistic skills, but I'm struggling to make any visible progress, and I'm continuously getting days where I can't stand to draw, and that I'm really just producing crap. I guess I'm getting lost with what I should do and how I should practise and study, because I feel like I'm butting my head against a wall here, and it's getting really fucking frustrating. Again, it's a pretty trivial issue, but just any advice would be great.

I really just wish I had more friends, people to have fun and talk with. I can count the number of people I'd consider "friends" on one hand, both internet and real-life. It's just that, when I see a bunch of people having fun, I can't help but want to feel that way, but when I interact with people myself, I never seem to do or say the right thing. I'm not really depressed about it, but I'd definitely like to have more people to call my friends. I'd gladly have a chat with any of you, if you wanted.

Oh this thread isn't on page 5 this time. I had a random outburst while I was alone. It was quite negative, and this hasn't really happened before. I do sometimes think out loud when I'm solving math or other things, but I never really say negative things about other people to myself.

If you sad, drink something with caffeine, it's a temporary solucion but it solves the porblmes

I'm having suicidal thoughts more and more often. It's daily at this point, and I've had a suicide attempt in the past and since then it's literally never even crossed my mind. I don't want to tell anyone because I've already tried and failed two years ago, there is also no chance that I'd be able to just go talk to a psychiatrist. I feel like such a kid, I can literally not deal with any of my emotions. I don't know what to do, I can not be optimistic, I can't do anything and I'm just trying not care about anything so that my anxiety would go away. I have anxiety attacks at times, I don't know how bad they are as far as anxiety attacks go but when I have them I just want to be done with everything. I just think everything is awful and I'm fucked and need to do something else. I just end up pacing. I don't know, I'm too old for this. I thought I grew out of things like this. I really can't be a burden on any of my friends or family. I've done too much to them already, I can't say anything.

Thought this would be relevant. [video=youtube;dEJuKY_APIk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEJuKY_APIk&feature=youtu.be[/video]

parents making me choose between college and my boyfriend basically that and being reminded that im a really shitty daughter to my parents [editline]3rd August 2013[/editline] i just feel fucking lost

Hey guys my clinical depression has really been getting to me lately. My meds don't seem to be working as well anymore and I can't seem to get anything done. The main problem I have is that I never get any feelings of accomplishment from completing things. Part of the reason I was so addicted to video games as a kid (and let's be real - still am) is because they provided me at least a numerical acknowledgement that I had achieved something. Do any of you guys know what I should talk to my doctor about? Should I try to switch to a different prescription? [editline]5th August 2013[/editline] The main issue this causes in my life is a kind of crippling nihilism that leads to procrastination that goes beyond laziness. I tend to miss lots of college class and then struggle for a few days to cram in all the things I missed and beg my proffessors to accept my apologies. I'm just really tired of having no drive to do anything

I just want to share a little something in a hope that someone may see it and although unlikely, it may help them too. A little while ago I had depression, it lasted quite a few months, and to cut the story quite short, it was getting to the point where I was trying so hard to fight off suicide. As you may know, depression can mean that you can't concentrate well. So I was trying to revise for an exam, and I couldn't for a few days, and one night I told myself I'd get up and the first thing I'd do was revise. And that is exactly what I did, and that was one of the happiest days I've had in a long time. Why? Because I got up and broke my usual routine I forgot to take my multivitamin, and after some research I found that although vitamin D is good for depression, either too much of it or the wrong kind of it can make you depressed. I stopped taking them straight away and I saw good results. Now two months later, although I have my problems, my depression has been greatly reduced all because I stopped taking multivitamins. I really hope someone will read this and it helps them, if it does then please message me in the future because it would bring me so much joy to know I've helped someone with something as hard to cope with as depression.

Just finished burying my girl Maizey. She couldn't get up anymore.. wouldn't eat. I carried her like a baby all the way to the table she was euthanized on. 15 months ago the doctor she had 3 weeks, so we had more time than expected, but it's never enough eh? [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/4Nc6kLV.jpg[/img_thumb] I'm so sad in pathetic, love you puppy :(

so my shrink got me some truxal for my anxiety yesterday. I took my first pill yesterday night, and I'm wondering, do any of you guys have any experience regarding truxal?

[QUOTE=Ironic Man;41738834]Just finished burying my girl Maizey. She couldn't get up anymore.. wouldn't eat. I carried her like a baby all the way to the table she was euthanized on. 15 months ago the doctor she had 3 weeks, so we had more time than expected, but it's never enough eh? [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/4Nc6kLV.jpg[/img_thumb] I'm so sad in pathetic, love you puppy :([/QUOTE] Hey man, I had the same thing about two years ago, and it was just about the saddest thing I've ever been through. The immediate painful feelings shouldn't last too long, and it will all feel okay soon! Even after two years I occasionally miss my dog, but you learn to appreciate the time spent with your pet, rather than grieving it, stay strong buddy!

Got a job 3 weeks ago, everything's going all good, then BAM anxiety comes back, I feel caved in by it and leave early tonight, its cool but if i keep missing days the managers said they would have to let me go, I feel like fucking shit. I feel like a failure.

hey i have bipolar and go through periods of suicidal ideation. i have no insurance and no money to pay for medication. what can i do to get medical help? do i have to commit myself to a psychiatric hospital or actually attempt to kill myself before i can receive anything? maybe i can get on ssi. i would need a doctor that can say that my bipolar is a disability though, which might be hard(considering i can't afford a fucking doctor).

I just can't bring myself to take my Prozac even though I know it'll help I don't know WHY I don't want to take it

What exactly could it mean if I become easily tearful in normal situations? For example I spilled a cappuccino my dad made for me while I was taking it upstairs and I was absolutely blubbering while I was cleaning it up.

It's like I'm waiting for something. Been going on for years. "Just one more week" What does it mean?

I keep going back and forth between feeling fine and feeling like I'm going insane lately. I'll have a week of just feeling off and anxious/not myself then the next week I'll feel fine only to cycle back. While I feel fine I feel bad about thinking I probably have something not quite right in my head since I know other people have really bad cases of things and mine (if any) is probably mild. Along with this I get periods of time where I feel like I'm a sociopath or something because things that usually stir emotion in me don't anymore and the thoughts I start getting are fucked up and I can't get them out of my head, and usually when I get those kind of thoughts they freak me out really badly to the point where I'll give myself a sharp rap on the head while either whimpering or repeating the phrase "don't even think about it" to try and suppress them. But during the times where I feel, uh, blunted, I suppose, I still do these things because I want to make sure that I really feel bad about the thoughts or if I've become an irredeemable piece of work. But now I'm thinking that I'm probably making something out of nothing again. I don't even know. I don't really have any right to be someone with anxiety or anything, I live a decent life I mean, and I don't have a genetic predisposition towards mental illness or anything so I have no clue where it stems from. The only source I can think of is something that any other person would have been recovered properly from years ago, so it's probably not that. [QUOTE=MasterFen006;41795771]What exactly could it mean if I become easily tearful in normal situations? For example I spilled a cappuccino my dad made for me while I was taking it upstairs and I was absolutely blubbering while I was cleaning it up.[/QUOTE] I don't know what it means man, sorry, but I've done similarly before. Kind of a meaningless sentiment I guess, but I just dumped a load of shit so I figured I should pay it forward at least a small bit.

Its coming to the one year anniversary of something really bad that happened between me and someone else; said thing really screwed me up really bad - ended up leading to drug addiction, and alcoholism. I just really really need to take my mind off it, and I'm not sure how.. Its just an incredibly painful thing to think of. It's making me feel really incredibly hopeless.

wish this thread was more active just got my second set of pills to take to fight my anxiety and depression, woohoo

Borderline personality disorder sucks.