Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

Do you guys think there is a difference between the psyches of people who commit suicide publicly vs people who do it in private?

[QUOTE=GeneralSpecific;42150898]Do you guys think there is a difference between the psyches of people who commit suicide publicly vs people who do it in private?[/QUOTE] My rationale was that I was going to do it privately as possible, I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. I'm interested in hearing what someone who was planning to do it publicly was thinking.

[QUOTE=Spacewolf;42148255]I have, we've talked about it before, it just goes between I love you omg and I don't feel the same way anymore sry[/QUOTE] So she keeps going in between loving you and not feeling the same?

I'm a junior in high school and I'm on the cross country team. I've loved cross country since I was a freshman, but this year our coach is just so irritable and mad all of the time. It's gotten so bad that many runners, myself included, are declaring this our last season. There's only four weeks left in this season. I just got out of a particularly awful practice with our man-child coach and I'm seriously considering just not coming to practice tomorrow night and every other night after that. I explained the situation to my parents, but they don't want me to quit mid-season. I'm not even varsity, but in the past I always looked forward to practice after school and now I just dread it. Being around my coach nowadays just makes me so negatice and it's awful. Induring through these next few weeks of practices and races is going to be hell. What should I do?

If everyone on your team thinks the same then you should just all gather up and do something.

[QUOTE=AltUser;42153471]So she keeps going in between loving you and not feeling the same?[/QUOTE] No, I mean I say one and she says the other. [editline]11th September 2013[/editline] Can anyone who has used antidepressants tell me about their experiences with them? I haven't wanted to take mind altering medication for a while now but I'm really starting to lose my grip on life.

[QUOTE=Spacewolf;42158929] Can anyone who has used antidepressants tell me about their experiences with them? I haven't wanted to take mind altering medication for a while now but I'm really starting to lose my grip on life.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't call antidepressants "mind altering." I'd reserve that word for something like hallucinogenic mushrooms. Anyway, everybody's experience with them is different and there are so many out there, that you really won't know what'll happen until you use them yourself. For me, being on an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer has made me gain weight and caused almost daily headaches, sometimes as bad as migraines. BUT they have allowed me to function more or less like a normal human being. My prescriber and I are still messing with the doses, so there's that. One thing it doesn't do is make you happy.

So many trivial shit happened today that seriously dropped my mood. I got a wake up call that I'm a cunt. Well two wake up calls because a friend removed me for being stupid. My friends decided to pull a sick joke after all that, great timing, but they didn't know really.

[QUOTE=Spacewolf;42158929]Can anyone who has used antidepressants tell me about their experiences with them? I haven't wanted to take mind altering medication for a while now but I'm really starting to lose my grip on life.[/QUOTE] Well, all of the different medications have different effects on people. SSRIs, though, are usually pretty safe, and side effects usually aren't that bad. I'm currently on 10 mg of Escitalopram (Lexapro) and so far I haven't been able to notice any side-effects. And overall while I've noticed it's made me less irritable and less easily frustrated, you do have to keep in mind that depression and anxiety medications aren't a cure-all, and there will be things you have to deal with yourself, or in therapy, to actually keep your grip on life.

I fucked up so bad today. I'm shaking so hard and I feel like I'm going to cry. I said in a group steam chat "Boo who" because a girl kept saying that she was underweight and she needs to eat more. I said it because I'm a fucking dumbcunt who was annoyed at myself for being overweight. I found out later that she has fucking anorexia. I was apparently told this before, but I guess it flew right over my head because I was probably dropped on it as a child. She blocked me and removed me from her friends list, her boyfriend is telling me to fuck off and I'll only make it worse if I try to contact her. I seriously want to tell her how awful I feel about the situation but nothing can express my regret for that comment and I'm at a serious loss right now...

Hi. I'm that annoying fuck that flips and poisons you to death in top lane. I'm going to vent now. I'll summarize as much as I can. I'll start by saying that school-wise, I'm a mess. I'm getting by, but just barely, my grades are awful and are getting worse. I have no idea what I'm going to do after highschool. I feel like everything I'd like to do I'd either be terrible at or isn't a viable way to make a living. My father's a hugely unpleasant asshole, as a result of that and a few other things my mother is depressed, and my brother's more than that. I suppose him and I are in the same boat, hell, his story has a few similarities to mine. Anyways, all of that was true before any of what I'm about to describe was a factor, and now I feel like I'm reaching my limit. My best friend, who was like a brother to me, who I did everything I could for and helped through various hard experiences, practically stole my girlfriend through (probably subconscious) manipulation, gradually stopped giving a shit about me and has now cut off all contact with me. Before I go any further, by manipulation I mean, he never approved of our relationship and would often talk to her behind my back, discussing my own relationship without me and trying to convince her that it wouldn't work out. I eventually caught this happening, which ended with him apologizing, but the damage was done. The last time I talked to him he was very rude and disrespectful towards me and made out like all I ever did was complicate his life. He is now happier than he's ever been, in a mutually passionate and loving relationship with somebody who I am so goddamn in love with that I almost literally can't think of anything but her. We're still friends, I talk to her almost every night, and that is the only part of my day where I'm not wishing I had a means of killing myself (one that I'm comfortable with). I follow her Tumblr, and this morning I saw a picture she put up of the two of them, close, half-kissing, smiling, happier than I've ever seen either of them. I couldn't focus at all in school and the moment I got home I fucking started to cut myself. Nothing serious, but what the fuck. I've never done anything like that before. I've never CONSIDERED doing anything like that before. I'm not like that. Right now I just feel pathetic, like, I'm at a point where I've lost everything in regards to who I am, and the only remaining part of me is the part that is hopelessly, obsessively in love with someone who is happy with somebody else. The worst part is that it's somebody who, I personally don't consider to be that great of a person, disrespects and is spiteful towards me, and is totally okay with the fact that I'm in the emotional situation that I'm in. I won't go into detail, but I'm only just realizing that after talking to him while, not on his good side. Why the fuck does HE win? Why does he get to be happy while I'm suicidal? I have put all of my energy into trying to improve his life ever since I met him, and now I'm, here. When the aforementioned female and I were together, I literally slowed it down with her because it was hurting him, because I felt like I wasn't giving him enough attention, and he was getting the impression that he wasn't as important to me as he used to be, or as she was. As a result, our relationship stopped progressing, she gradually lost interest in me as she stopped feeling like she was IN a relationship, and then she broke up with me, two days before the worst birthday I've ever had. Nothing made me happier than being with her, and I sacrificed that for the sake of someone who would end up taking her from me and ultimately abandoning me. Fucking, cheer me up, please.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;42162393]I fucked up so bad today. I'm shaking so hard and I feel like I'm going to cry. I said in a group steam chat "Boo who" because a girl kept saying that she was underweight and she needs to eat more. I said it because I'm a fucking dumbcunt who was annoyed at myself for being overweight. I found out later that she has fucking anorexia. I was apparently told this before, but I guess it flew right over my head because I was probably dropped on it as a child. She blocked me and removed me from her friends list, her boyfriend is telling me to fuck off and I'll only make it worse if I try to contact her. I seriously want to tell her how awful I feel about the situation but nothing can express my regret for that comment and I'm at a serious loss right now...[/QUOTE] Leave it a while, and then just apologise, telling her basically what you just told us, I think it may be fine then. [editline]12th September 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Singed;42162539]Hi. I'm that annoying fuck that flips and poisons you to death in top lane. I'm going to vent now. I'll summarize as much as I can. I'll start by saying that school-wise, I'm a mess. I'm getting by, but just barely, my grades are awful and are getting worse. I have no idea what I'm going to do after highschool. I feel like everything I'd like to do I'd either be terrible at or isn't a viable way to make a living. My father's a hugely unpleasant asshole, as a result of that and a few other things my mother is depressed, and my brother's more than that. I suppose him and I are in the same boat, hell, his story has a few similarities to mine. Anyways, all of that was true before any of what I'm about to describe was a factor, and now I feel like I'm reaching my limit. My best friend, who was like a brother to me, who I did everything I could for and helped through various hard experiences, practically stole my girlfriend through (probably subconscious) manipulation, gradually stopped giving a shit about me and has now cut off all contact with me. Before I go any further, by manipulation I mean, he never approved of our relationship and would often talk to her behind my back, discussing my own relationship without me and trying to convince her that it wouldn't work out. I eventually caught this happening, which ended with him apologizing, but the damage was done. The last time I talked to him he was very rude and disrespectful towards me and made out like all I ever did was complicate his life. He is now happier than he's ever been, in a mutually passionate and loving relationship with somebody who I am so goddamn in love with that I almost literally can't think of anything but her. We're still friends, I talk to her almost every night, and that is the only part of my day where I'm not wishing I had a means of killing myself (one that I'm comfortable with). I follow her Tumblr, and this morning I saw a picture she put up of the two of them, close, half-kissing, smiling, happier than I've ever seen either of them. I couldn't focus at all in school and the moment I got home I fucking started to cut myself. Nothing serious, but what the fuck. I've never done anything like that before. I've never CONSIDERED doing anything like that before. I'm not like that. Right now I just feel pathetic, like, I'm at a point where I've lost everything in regards to who I am, and the only remaining part of me is the part that is hopelessly, obsessively in love with someone who is happy with somebody else. The worst part is that it's somebody who, I personally don't consider to be that great of a person, disrespects and is spiteful towards me, and is totally okay with the fact that I'm in the emotional situation that I'm in. I won't go into detail, but I'm only just realizing that after talking to him while, not on his good side. Why the fuck does HE win? Why does he get to be happy while I'm suicidal? I have put all of my energy into trying to improve his life ever since I met him, and now I'm, here. When the aforementioned female and I were together, I literally slowed it down with her because it was hurting him, because I felt like I wasn't giving him enough attention, and he was getting the impression that he wasn't as important to me as he used to be, or as she was. As a result, our relationship stopped progressing, she gradually lost interest in me as she stopped feeling like she was IN a relationship, and then she broke up with me, two days before the worst birthday I've ever had. Nothing made me happier than being with her, and I sacrificed that for the sake of someone who would end up taking her from me and ultimately abandoning me. Fucking, cheer me up, please.[/QUOTE] That all sound like some pretty serious stuff. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist?

[QUOTE=Singed;42162539]Fucking, cheer me up, please.[/QUOTE][img]http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7kcitO2Em1rvbmclo1_250.gif[/img]

[QUOTE=AltUser;42165938]That all sound like some pretty serious stuff. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist?[/QUOTE] I haven't, mainly because my family is going through so much already that I don't want to give them another reason to be miserable. I don't really like the idea of therapy either, I always prefer to figure my feelings out either by myself or with someone close to me. There are other reasons but I'd have to give it more thought. [QUOTE=ozzypozzy;42169164][img]http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7kcitO2Em1rvbmclo1_250.gif[/img][/QUOTE] Hm, well, I suppose that's another way of looking at things...

It just all seems like the kind of thing that won't go away. Also, if you are feeling depressed after it all, which you probably are, then you should see a doctor and just see what they can do for you. The same would go for your mother too if she hasn't seeked help yet.

I feel sad since my parents are having me go to this school for kids with a history of anxiety and depression. Basically there was a sexual assault as well as some minor incidents in the past and my parents want me to go to this school to get away from the kind of idiots who go to my school. I want to still go to my high school since while I have gone through anxiety in the school, I have also done fairly well recently and have been making more friends. I want to go to my high school but I loosely understand my parents' reasoning. How should I honestly deal with this?

So every now and then, during night time I feel extremely lonely and I end up on a internet chat to seek company. All these people talk to me because they want to have sex with me and sometimes the loneliness is so annoying that I actually accept the idea of hanging out with these people. Usually I feel fucking terrible for doing this. I think I'm just so desperate to have a friend, someone who I can talk to that I ignore the danger of having sex with a complete stranger. If only I felt good with these intercourses, but it's so hollow, I feel like a disposable object since all of them just forget about me in the next day, I feel dirty and stupid afterwards. I just don't know what to do. This anxiety/ loneliness makes me loose control and I always end up in these chats doing stupid shit

So today we were supposed to have a 'free day' at school, and when we arrived we found out that one of the instructors had commited suicide last night.. I guess you could say I had a pretty depressing day...

-snip-

One suicide attempt and two hospitalizations later, I survived the summer. That was more than I expected. My parents and my therapist have decided that I'm not stable enough to return to university this year. Fuck.

It's too much bother fixing things.

This is kind of impromptu but how does one best deal with an anxiety attack? Curling up in a ball in my room and dumping my problems on my friends via. Facebook has had little effect so far.

[QUOTE=Raxas;42216408]This is kind of impromptu but how does one best deal with an anxiety attack? Curling up in a ball in my room and dumping my problems on my friends via. Facebook has had little effect so far.[/QUOTE] My strategy is to stop what I'm doing and breathe in for five seconds, hold it for two and breathe out for five seconds (counting the whole time.) It's not a fix-all, but it helps calm me down for a while. Well, that's what I do for panic attacks at least. Not sure if it'll work for anxiety or if there's even a significant difference.

Citalopram withdrawal is hilariously bad fyi. Just came off yesterday after a week at a lower dose. Haha

It seems like I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow. It's to check if I need actual help.

Well, this is going to be more of a vent than anything... If anyone here reads the gay chat thread, you will know my Dad was diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago, last week we found out it was terminal, but at least he had six months. Wednesday this week, we are informed he has three weeks max to live, hell, I could wake up tomorrow and have a phone call saying he died overnight. It's something so sudden that the initial shock of finding he has cancer only hit in when we found out it was terminal, then that hit when we found out he isn't even going to last to the middle of next month and that was much much quicker to hit, so here I am, depressed, not wanting to go to work (Have cut it down to two very short shifts a week and still feel that is too much) and just left in complete shock. On top of that, I have been unsure of my sexuality for over a year and a half, swinging between being bisexual and straight. In that time I have had a girlfriend lasting nearly seven months, a boyfriend that lasted a day (Due to it not feeling right), to having a boyfriend that I do now. After having sex with him on the weekend, I am now sure of my sexuality, which is straight, it was a very very dumb move for me jumping in to a relationship with a guy while still feeling as if I could revert to being straight. Sadly, I can't exactly have a boyfriend being straight, which is another thing depressing me as it will definitely be sure to hurt a good friend to me quite a bit. Not something he needs in the position he is in, having a homophobic parent dragging him to the UK later this year for a holiday. I mentioned jobs earlier, as I said, I am not wanting to work much due to my Dad and wanting to see him as much as possible. I have been hunting for IT jobs around and have been declined for everything I have applied for, not giving me any incentive to look for more jobs, at the same time I am going to need a full-time job so I can get more experience within the IT industry so I can do what I want and afford to fund my hobbies. Finally, although a minor point. I've only had my licence for a week, after being so excited for it for 6 months, my car breaks just three hours after I get it. Leaving me without transport unless my mum lets me borrow her car. It's just a really bad feeling to have the thing you have been waiting for for six months, be taken away from you from a silly mistake I made earlier on. Leaving me not able to go out and do stuff I want to do as my travel card expired. So I'm pretty much stuck with my father who has weeks, if not days left, someone who is seemingly indestructible in my eyes, the person who gave me experience and a love for computers, something in which I want to follow as a career. Having to hurt a good friend of mine due to something that is out of my control. Having a piss poor income which is only going down as I have no incentive to work as well as having my freedom stripped from me due to a silly mistake I made to save a couple of hundred dollars a few months ago. The worst shit has to happen all at the same time doesn't it...

Just skimming through this thread, it seems like many people are looking for someone to talk to. I have a lot of free time nowadays, so if anyone wants to chat with someone who will try their best to understand the situation you are going through hit me up on skype (sfmg42). You have nothing to lose.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;42240979]It seems like I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow. It's to check if I need actual help.[/QUOTE] This went went. Apparently everything I'm going through is normal and I just have "a very high moral compass". Just the only thing she's concerned about is my thoughts of suicide over my issues.

I tried to confront one of my biggest fears today, and it's only made me feel worse. The worst part is that it's a fear of someone I know, and it's at the point now where it's becoming more than irrational. It's not a phobia, but it feels like it is.

I thought I had made it past this but I feel empty inside again. Not bad, not sad, just empty. I can have fun, and feel accomplished for my creative endeavors, but I just can't actually feel it. My grandma died two weeks ago and I haven't even felt sad. Does anyone have any experience with this/know any way to help it?