Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

I've got to tell anyone about this, but today i just broke down, admitted to my parents I kept having suicidal thoughts i'm back on the setraline tablets still feel like shit (obv) but hopefully i'll get better in a month or two. I'm probably going to be getting a budgie soon, i've discussed it with my parents and it'll be a responsibility that i need, something else to rely on me to help myself get out of this depressive rut i'm in, best of luck to everyone in this thread and remember, you're awesome.

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Stop giving a fuck. Stop giving a fuck about what you look like, Stop giving a fuck about what others think of you, Stop giving a fuck about that girl you've been chasing for months, Stop giving a fuck about your future, Stop giving a fuck about everything. This is easier said than done, some shit is hard to let go of, but just work on it. It'll get better. I'm not a doctor or professional or anything, so be warned this advice will probably result in destruction... but hey who gives a fuck?

[QUOTE=polarbear.;39837671]Stop giving a fuck. Stop giving a fuck about what you look like, Stop giving a fuck about what others think of you, Stop giving a fuck about that girl you've been chasing for months, Stop giving a fuck about your future, Stop giving a fuck about everything. This is easier said than done, some shit is hard to let go of, but just work on it. It'll get better. I'm not a doctor or professional or anything, so be warned this advice will probably result in destruction... but hey who gives a fuck?[/QUOTE]Don't give a fuck about unimportant shit is my motto. I'm not good at following it, though.

I wouldn't say stop caring about things pertinent to yourself (those that are important, at least). I've been struggling with the concept of letting go of the everything else, though. The little things in life, the biting anxieties, the feelings of inadequacy, they're all very unimportant, but hard to rid yourself of. I think that they'll always be there, but my attitude toward them will change to acceptance of myself, which will make them seem nonexistent. I certainly will never be perfect, but by ridding myself of the little worries, I can focus on myself holistically. I think that it's just a matter of progressing, bit by bit, to a point where you can acknowledge that your little anxieties aren't worth the time.

I wish I could get myself to do anything except being lazy, I've thought for years "This month will be when I change everything." and I can never do it.

Alright, so after a long day of thinking and a talk with my parents, I'm not going to go through with suicide. Life just fucking sucks, and that's fine.

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[QUOTE=polarbear.;39837671]Stop giving a fuck. Stop giving a fuck about what you look like, Stop giving a fuck about what others think of you, Stop giving a fuck about that girl you've been chasing for months, Stop giving a fuck about your future, Stop giving a fuck about everything. This is easier said than done, some shit is hard to let go of, but just work on it. It'll get better. I'm not a doctor or professional or anything, so be warned this advice will probably result in destruction... but hey who gives a fuck?[/QUOTE] Good job promoting the mindset that people are in right before they go kill themselves Care about the things that matter - yourself, the people who care about you, the things you enjoy doing - reserve indifference for everything else

I don't feel like I can talk to my friends because it seems like everything I do or say becomes joke material.

Been having a bad few days, feelin for you bros Just don't listen to this as it will probably make your day worse [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmNTAvnSais[/media]

[QUOTE=polarbear.;39837671] This is easier said than done, some shit is hard to let go of, but just work on it. It'll get better.[B] I'm not a doctor or professional or anything[/B], so be warned this advice will probably result in destruction... but hey who gives a fuck?[/QUOTE] you don't say

[i]-snip, PUI[/i]

I've been depressed since I was twelve years old, ever since my parent's divorce. I turn 19 in thirteen days. I had a girlfriend of two years up until last week. She broke up with me because I brought her down too much. And now I've never felt so worthless in my entire life. I made her my life - bad move, I know, but I love her to death. I care for her more than I've ever cared for [I]anything.[/I] I just found out she likes somebody else. And they've kissed. Now all I can do is sit here and hate myself and not leave my bed. I can't even force myself to eat, it's been over 24 hours since I've last eaten something, and it was about a pancake and about three pieces of bacon. The thought of her makes me sick. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it but my only friend I thought I had has made no effort to contact me to see if I'm even okay (him, his girlfriend, and my girlfriend are close friends). I've never felt so insignificant. I've been tossed aside like roadside garbage. I could literally be killing myself and nobody would be here to help. [editline]10th March 2013[/editline] She promised me nine days ago that she loved me. I feel sick. [editline]10th March 2013[/editline] Oh, and our two year anniversary is at the end of the month. Can't wait to spend my birthday alone, either.

[QUOTE=cheetahben;39840476]Alright, so after a long day of thinking and a talk with my parents, I'm not going to go through with suicide. Life just fucking sucks, and that's fine.[/QUOTE] Thank god, was getting worried there for a moment. Kudos. Also while you're at it, see a psychiatrist.

I'm debating if I should tell my friends how I feel. I kind of don't even want to tell my friends, I'd like to talk with their sister and try to figure my shit out because I feel like she's the only one who could be in any way nice.

How many here suffers from a sort of psychosis? I got diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder just about a year ago, I've had depression since I was 13, I'm 20, the meds my psychiatrist have prescribed for me haven't had any effects on me other than making it harder for me to cum, I'm on 3 different kinds, currently testing out a 4th kind. I've always had low self-esteem since people have convinced me that I'm not worth anything or will ever get better. I was bullied out of 8th grade, failed 9th and never took 10th because of stress and mild-ish social anxiety. I'm not happy, but I want to be. I don't know how or if I'll ever be happy and I often think that I for sure will never get anywhere, make a living, make my parents proud or be a normal part of society as everyone expects you to be now-a-days. TL;DR: I feel like a burden. Any advice?

Other then hang in there, I don't have anything in the way of advice.

[QUOTE=purvisdavid1;39871502]I'm debating if I should tell my friends how I feel. I kind of don't even want to tell my friends, I'd like to talk with their sister and try to figure my shit out because I feel like she's the only one who could be in any way nice.[/QUOTE] Getting creepy now. She doesn't wanna know. Leave it. She probably reckons you're a sex offender

[QUOTE=harryh11;39871886]Getting creepy now. She doesn't wanna know. Leave it. She probably reckons you're a sex offender[/QUOTE] I just want a friend who I can talk to in this world and I get called a sex offender. This is the reason I want to die, no one wants to fucking understand me. No one fucking cares. It's all about how things look and not about how things are. I can't be mad that I fucked up a friendship with someone I care for as a friend?

Saw a Psychologist Monday. Ended up leaving school - there was no way I was gonna make up the three weeks I'd missed from a cocktail of sickness induced by lack of sleep induced by stress and depression induced by stress. So, I'm going to online school. A bit of a jarring transition but the change in pace was incredibly helpful and I feel and act noticeably happier. No more killing myself for grades in classes I don't need. Get to see psychologist again tomorrow and figure more out, hoping for the best.

In the last four years I've lost most of my family and I've fallen into a horrible depression. A couple of days ago, the girl I thought loved me told me she was better off not being in a relationship with me, due to the fact that I can't make her happy, even though I've been the one trying to keep our relationship afloat while she mostly ignored me. Before I met her, I was ready to just keel over and die, but she came into my life and kept me motivated to get better. I started watching my diet, I started taking antidepressants, I started seeing a therapist, and whenever I felt like I couldn't go on anymore I thought I would do it for her. I wanted to make her happy and show her how much I really loved her. Now she left me, telling me she only wants to be friends with me. All I can think about is how I devoted myself to being better for her, and how in the end she didn't think I mattered enough to stay with. She told me to find someone else who could love me, and all I could think was why. Why was this happening? My entire life has consisted of worst case scenarios, and when I finally feel hopeful about something, I lose it. She knows what I've been through and how severe my depression is, and yet she basically abandoned me when I needed her the most. All I can think about now is suicide, about how I'm worthless and how I don't have a reason to live now that I've lost the last thing I really loved. I'm scared and I don't think I can pull it off, but I know that I want to. I know it's the most selfish thing anyone could ever do, but I'm so sick of living like this, and all I want is some mercy. Now I have nobody to talk to, so I'm writing this in hopes that someone will understand me, because I can't handle holding this in anymore.

[QUOTE=Chaohord;39874838]In the last four years I've lost most of my family and I've fallen into a horrible depression. A couple of days ago, the girl I thought loved me told me she was better off not being in a relationship with me, due to the fact that I can't make her happy, even though I've been the one trying to keep our relationship afloat while she mostly ignored me. Before I met her, I was ready to just keel over and die, but she came into my life and kept me motivated to get better. I started watching my diet, I started taking antidepressants, I started seeing a therapist, and whenever I felt like I couldn't go on anymore I thought I would do it for her. I wanted to make her happy and show her how much I really loved her. Now she left me, telling me she only wants to be friends with me. All I can think about is how I devoted myself to being better for her, and how in the end she didn't think I mattered enough to stay with. She told me to find someone else who could love me, and all I could think was why. Why was this happening? My entire life has consisted of worst case scenarios, and when I finally feel hopeful about something, I lose it. She knows what I've been through and how severe my depression is, and yet she basically abandoned me when I needed her the most. All I can think about now is suicide, about how I'm worthless and how I don't have a reason to live now that I've lost the last thing I really loved. I'm scared and I don't think I can pull it off, but I know that I want to. I know it's the most selfish thing anyone could ever do, but I'm so sick of living like this, and all I want is some mercy. Now I have nobody to talk to, so I'm writing this in hopes that someone will understand me, because I can't handle holding this in anymore.[/QUOTE] Well suicide is never an answer, no matter how attractive it seems as an option. You would think being dead will lift your burdens, but all you'd be doing is spreading the burden around to the people who should have cared more. I'd rather you talk this out with your friends, family, or her.

[QUOTE=purvisdavid1;39875254]Well suicide is never an answer, no matter how attractive it seems as an option. You would think being dead will lift your burdens, but all you'd be doing is spreading the burden around to the people who should have cared more. I'd rather you talk this out with your friends, family, or her.[/QUOTE] I've found a couple friends in the same boat as me It's really the biggest sense of relief I've had in a long time

[QUOTE=Chaohord;39875335]I've found a couple friends in the same boat as me It's really the biggest sense of relief I've had in a long time[/QUOTE] Well that's good then.

I suffer from IBS which seems to come from my anxiety problems. I am afraid of quiet environments with other people such as a classroom. This is starting to affect my university studies and I am just sick of having to deal with this now. My stomach begins to make loud noises and just generally feel sick. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. I am on an 8 week waiting list for CBT and I just hope it will help in solving my problem....I just can't live with constant stress about having to go to lectures and classes. Anyone suffer from something similar? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[QUOTE=Akmeeda;39878322]I suffer from IBS which seems to come from my anxiety problems. I am afraid of quiet environments with other people such as a classroom. This is starting to affect my university studies and I am just sick of having to deal with this now. My stomach begins to make loud noises and just generally feel sick. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. I am on an 8 week waiting list for CBT and I just hope it will help in solving my problem....I just can't live with constant stress about having to go to lectures and classes. Anyone suffer from something similar? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.[/QUOTE] About stress in class, I can't stand situations where I have to speak infront of people, or talk to someone near them. I am afraid of being judged, maybe even rejected or just generally doing something that people will percieve stupid. The power of stress is so strong I often just 'forget' to prepare something I had to speak in school and get bad mark for it. Now off the topic, lately I've again got haunted by bad mood. When I saw this thread today, it made me think about myself. Who am I? Am i myself and what creates me. To be honest for few years now I feel just hollow, not being myself, but being someone who people want me to be. It is really hard to explain for me, because oh I am bad at explaining my rather chaotic thougths, but I feel like instead me living my life, I hang from day to day, trying to make time pass and forget about serious things. Last night, I had some sort of I don't know, feeling that I am not myself anymore. Person that was me died long time ago. It wasn't my room anymore, my thougth said, even I can't understand it right now. I can't even recall clearly if it was my own thougth or if it hopped inside my head without me knowing. I would say I am getting worse, but it's never worse. It's always the same way, the same mood and thougths, just differently heard by me. I need someone that can bring hope and hapiness into my life, resurrect the person who lived once inside this body.

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first-time poster here, basically have what i can't see as anything but one five-year depressive episode in the past, i've taken four different meds. i've had zero positive results and one suicidal bout i interrupted before anything happened. immediately after my RX changed from prozac to wellbutrin, then lamictol was added, and now, adderall. my doctor of osteopathy prescribed the latest addition for my flatlined energy level. on schedule, the adderall xr was upped to 60 mg/day last wednesday and i have actually felt a boost for once, among other things. my appetite packed up and left and it's become hard to tell when i'm hungry, so i tend to eat very little very frequently during the whole day. my mouth was permanently dry for three days. certain parts have tensed up as in cold weather and perform their secondary functions about as well and with about as much enthusiasm. most worrisome, it is harder to articulate myself. i am grasping for words in simple sentences often. i don't like this. i enjoy underrated syntax yet basic nomenclature now evades me. and although i still admire and adhere to Hemingway sentencing and erase paragraphs to practice shorter phrasing, i've edited this post for an hour. in conversations it's as if i stepped out of bed into a job interview. fortunately, the people who use adderall as needed have only temporary side effects to deal with. unfortunately, i'm not one of those people and this new regimen is starting to disconcert me. i'd just like to know if anyone else has been worried by adderall. it might be surprising for me to have my first reaction at 60 mg, but i never sensed anything from 300 mg wellbutrin and prozac didn't change anything until 60 mg prompted an ER visit. i'm an oddity with drugs i guess, but i hope some of you know what i'm talking about.