Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=JoeSkylynx;44198734]I am honestly starting to notice a pattern in my behavior...[/QUOTE] I believe you are feeling like you are wasting their time, I do the same thing, apologizing for apologizing. It's not a good sign atleast, but bring it up if you are going to talk to someone, they might have some tips on how to prevent it.

Does anyone feel like they want to rant/rave about some random issue that you shouldn't care about.

[QUOTE=JoeSkylynx;44198734]I am honestly starting to notice a pattern in my behavior... ... I'm unsure if I should bring this up to my psych and ask them if they have any idea on what this be caused by.[/QUOTE] Sounds to me like you're seeking approval from your peers. I would definitely bring it up with your psych. I believe it's indicative of low self-esteem. Yup, Google yields results. It comes up in [url=http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-second-noble-truth/201207/the-art-apology]this here article.[/url] Definitely something to discuss.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;44199331]Does anyone feel like they want to rant/rave about some random issue that you shouldn't care about.[/QUOTE] It's called DarkRP. I cannot stop bitching about it, because it just pisses me off. People are fucking tax evading, have cyber pedo rings, are causing kids to rob their parents... Everything about it is terrible, but at the same time it can be summed up with, "its just a game"

[QUOTE=JoeSkylynx;44199343]It's called DarkRP. I cannot stop bitching about it, because it just pisses me off. People are fucking tax evading, have cyber pedo rings, are causing kids to rob their parents... Everything about it is terrible, but at the same time it can be summed up with, "its just a game"[/QUOTE] A bit like me. I'm annoyed at people for liking things I don't like and I let people know constantly. I should totally become a politician

Remember my previous post about my trans friend that I'm madly in love with? Yeah. This morning, he confirmed that he doesn't have feelings for me. Last night in anticipation, I had written notes to my loved ones and had full intentions of doing something drastic, but a family member decided to randomly talk to me, which coincidentally stopped it. I'm going to try and talk to someone today. A teacher, probably. I feel numb and empty. The one thing I cared about has just been revoked. I need to get some help, though.

Had a relapse of my eye twitching/migraines and brain fog after I had to stop my suppliments because I started vomiting up blood a couple of days ago (which I still don't know why it happened). The medication for my colitis doesn't even work anymore. I'm trying so much stupid shit trying to get all my problems under control because anything I get prescribed either doesn't work or has insane side effects. Been so sick and tired I haven't even finished the stuff I'm supposed to do for the assistant manager position at my job. At this rate I'm going to miss the date to complete it all. I wish my doctor would actually listen to me and refer me to a neurologist. I am so goddamn sick of this. I don't want to go back to how depressed I was in January, but the rate things are going I don't see how it's going to get better.

Does anyone have experience with fluoxetine (or Prozac, a brand name)? My psychiatrist prescribed it to me in response to my sometimes-recurring anxiety attacks (which usually occur in response to social tension). I have been taking vyvanse, which had helped me escape from the anxious thought patterns which plagued me at all times, but despite being a lot more at ease with myself, certain things have the potential to set be back off again, into "episodes" so to speak. Long story short, I've been on it for three days now, and I know it's not supposed to take effect until at least a week, but I am curious if anyone else has been treated with it, and what they think. I am anticipating the day when these pills do more for me than give be frequent bowel movements. :v:

[QUOTE=Raxas;44204732]Does anyone have experience with fluoxetine (or Prozac, a brand name)? My psychiatrist prescribed it to me in response to my sometimes-recurring anxiety attacks (which usually occur in response to social tension). I have been taking vyvanse, which had helped me escape from the anxious thought patterns which plagued me at all times, but despite being a lot more at ease with myself, certain things have the potential to set be back off again, into "episodes" so to speak. Long story short, I've been on it for three days now, and I know it's not supposed to take effect until at least a week, but I am curious if anyone else has been treated with it, and what they think. I am anticipating the day when these pills do more for me than give be frequent bowel movements. :v:[/QUOTE] Honestly, I've heard bad things about a lot of SSRI medications. They may be just rumors though. I'd advise researching it yourself using sites like erowid (if they've got Prozac on there; I'm sure they do) and making an informed decision. If it helps you, that's excellent, just make sure the positives outweigh the negatives. Also uh, regarding my earlier post... holy shit. I feel so much better after today. I was noticed being generally depressed as shit in the morning as I contemplated what to do later that day, so one of my favorite teachers (who is attuned to me and realizes when something's up) took me into her room and talked with me. I'm in the school's counseling program now, and after talking with the crisis counselor and my professora, I feel amazing. I feel... better. I didn't expect this to happen so quickly. I thought I'd be in for like, endless sorrow and all that shit, but now I'm better. I guess my story is a happy one.

I need alcohol for me, myself and me tonight because it's my birthday but I've already spent my money on alcohol, bills and a reservation for me and myself tonight at the chinese buffet.

[QUOTE=T.F.W.O.;44133919]Would this be the right place to ask about ADHD?[/QUOTE] I have ADHD and I've dealt with it for the past 19 years. I've overcome most of the problems but it'll always be there. What do you want to know about, specifically?

I think I might have ADD. But I have no idea where to go, who to talk to, or how much it would cost to see. For the most part, if something doesn't interest me and there is ANYTHING else to do, I'll do that instead. Any advice?

[QUOTE=Nifae;44205301]. I guess my story is a happy one.[/QUOTE] Well. This post was premature. My grandma was (through legal obligation) informed of my therapy setup, and she cancelled it, trying to get me to go to this idiot religious therapist to supposedly "change me back." (as if being transgender's a choice?) She laughed at the idea of calling me she, basically told me she's not going to support me at all and that me being the way I am makes her want to die. Thankfully, I'm more stable now. Also uh, apparently the crisis counselor told my grandma over the phone that she thinks I'm just confused and not really transgender. I wanted to talk and get help, and I got laughed at. Fuck these people.

[QUOTE=Nifae;44208459]Well. This post was premature. My grandma was (through legal obligation) informed of my therapy setup, and she cancelled it, trying to get me to go to this idiot religious therapist to supposedly "change me back." (as if being transgender's a choice?)[/QUOTE] Honest advice? Go for it. While openly laughing to your face about your situation is pretty fucked up (with bonus points for being counterproductive to the goal of getting you to ever be open to her ideas), while furthermore trying to pressure you with emotional guilt- I mean come on, "you make me want to die"? Fucked up- she is still legally permitted to do these things, and if you have to live under her roof and eat her food, the best move I think you can make is to throw her a bone. It's just a religion-oriented therapist. If you're truly transgender- and NOT confused- then you could go to this therapist with an open mind, try everything they say, and remain unmoved. Maybe you can at least convince her that you're willing to cooperate with her to foster better days to come. It's more likely to improve your relations with her than arguing and refusing ever could. You might also consider seeing from the crisis counselor once more. Regardless of whatever she believes your transgender identity to be, it would be career-threatening to laugh about one's clients, especially to a legal guardian. Maybe she doesn't understand you fully, but I do believe that she does want to help you. Perhaps she knows something you can do, that won't get stalled by your grandmother.

[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;44207832]I think I might have ADD. But I have no idea where to go, who to talk to, or how much it would cost to see. For the most part, if something doesn't interest me and there is ANYTHING else to do, I'll do that instead. Any advice?[/QUOTE] I've been dealing with ADD all my life (nearly failed school because of it), so I know how hard it can be. I was lucky enough to visit a specialist back when I was a small kid who got me tested. I don't know how you'd go about it, but you could try going to your doctor and asking if there's any specialist you can see for ADD/ADHD. I don't know how they'd go about it in america. In the mean-time you could try supplimenting your diet to help inattention. Fish oil, Vitamin D and magnesium are probably the safest things to get started on to help your brain. Fish oil has essential foods and fatty acids for your brain to work (and there's a few studys that go on about it and ADD), Vitamin D is important for the nervous system, and magnesium is needed for a large number of things throughout the body (don't take my word for it blindly though, feel free to do some research for yourself). Exercise is good for your brain too (helps strengthen grey matter), and if you want to stretch your attention span as well you could try meditation and over time increase the length of your sessions. Green tea might help; it does contains a fair amount of caffeine, but also contains l-theanine which has some effects on improving attention (with the two working together to offset their negative side effects), though the amounts in a cup of tea are much less than extracts or specially grown strains. The best thing you could do is talk to a doctor and evaluate your options and possibly different diets, while also taking some action of your own. [editline]12th March 2014[/editline] Almost forgot; you might also want to try a Vitamin B Complex. These are very helpful for normal brain function, and because they're water soluble you need to take them every day, but there's some decent research behind them and their effects on the brain. Try get one with a higher choline content (a lot of people have a lack of choline in their diet, which is sorta bad because it's important for health throughout the body).

I really, really hate myself. I know I'm not a bad person; I just can't [i]believe[/i] that I'm not. It's a strange contradiction. I know I'm a nice guy, but I [i]believe[/i] that I'm a complete asshole. I don't know what this means. All I know is that I have no real friends and I have nobody to talk to. I'm daily thrown into a position where I want to cry really badly, but I physically can't. For weird childhood reasons, I physically can't cry, no matter how much I want to. I've heard that it's a good release for emotion and stress, and I feel that potential for release, but I can't do it. Not to mention that I'm a fucking expert at bottling up emotions. So I've got years' worth of emotion bottled up, and they don't go away. In fourth grade, for whatever reason, I became convinced that I was the worst person on earth and that I deserve to be punished. I attempted to act out in class to get the punishment I felt I deserved, but my teacher saw through me and didn't punish me at all. So I resorted to mild self-harm. In fourth grade. Nothing of that sort has happened since, but I increasingly feel a demented desire to punish myself, because apparently, I am the worst person on earth. [editline]12th March 2014[/editline] I had thoughts of suicide tonight. My parents probably wouldn't react well to me seeking help, so I'm sort of stuck.

I think I'm starting to get used to celebrating my birthday alone. This time was easier than last year. No anxiety waiting for people to come and ending up solo. You know right off the bat that nobody is going to come because nobody wants to be around you.

[QUOTE=pentium;44210020]I think I'm starting to get used to celebrating my birthday alone. This time was easier than last year. No anxiety waiting for people to come and ending up solo. You know right off the bat that nobody is going to come because nobody wants to be around you.[/QUOTE] Wanna trade? I grew up having shitty birthdays so I got used to not being excited when they came around, and I never had many friends so it was usually just family. Then all of a sudden I move to australia and everyone wants to make a big deal every year. I mean, it's nice, but I prefer quiet events. [editline]12th March 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=AtomicSans;44209861]I really, really hate myself. I know I'm not a bad person; I just can't [i]believe[/i] that I'm not. It's a strange contradiction. I know I'm a nice guy, but I [i]believe[/i] that I'm a complete asshole. I don't know what this means. All I know is that I have no real friends and I have nobody to talk to. [B]I'm daily thrown into a position where I want to cry really badly, but I physically can't. For weird childhood reasons, I physically can't cry, no matter how much I want to. I've heard that it's a good release for emotion and stress, and I feel that potential for release, but I can't do it.[/B] Not to mention that I'm a fucking expert at bottling up emotions. So I've got years' worth of emotion bottled up, and they don't go away.[/QUOTE] Exact same boat. It's so insanely frustrating wanting to cry but nothing comes. I usually end up thrashing about in bed when I'm feeling like shit to try and get some emotion out. I know exactly how it feels. [editline]12th March 2014[/editline] Woah wait shit, Atomic's post used to be on this page above pentium, why is it suddenly back a page. Deleted spam post?

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;44209861]I had thoughts of suicide tonight. My parents probably wouldn't react well to me seeking help, so I'm sort of stuck.[/QUOTE] Why not? Do they not believe in psychological treatment? Or is it that you don't want to burden them? If it's the latter, please, please, please, do not hide from them. Any parent worth their salt will want to help you, and to learn- God forbid, not when it's too late- that your child hid their pain from you and paid the price for it? That's really hard for a parent to deal with. Parenthood's one job is to make sure the child in question grows into a happy, healthy adult. Let them do their job, man. If it's the former, then you're [i]really[/i] in a pickle. Because you definitely have the symptoms that a [b]professional[/b] (neither me nor you) could properly diagnose and treat. Please do, by the way. The first couple results on Google for "psychology obsession with self harm and punishment" listed more than a few scary causes. Don't downplay the importance of this. Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Stomach, liver, lungs, heart, and the brain too, they're all organs, and you wouldn't ignore a heart murmur (I should hope, anyway).

[QUOTE=Raxas;44210420]Why not? Do they not believe in psychological treatment? Or is it that you don't want to burden them? If it's the latter, please, please, please, do not hide from them. Any parent worth their salt will want to help you, and to learn- God forbid, not when it's too late- that your child hid their pain from you and paid the price for it? That's really hard for a parent to deal with. Parenthood's one job is to make sure the child in question grows into a happy, healthy adult. Let them do their job, man. If it's the former, then you're [i]really[/i] in a pickle. Because you definitely have the symptoms that a [b]professional[/b] (neither me nor you) could properly diagnose and treat. Please do, by the way. The first couple results on Google for "psychology obsession with self harm and punishment" listed more than a few scary causes. Don't downplay the importance of this. Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Stomach, liver, lungs, heart, and the brain too, they're all organs, and you wouldn't ignore a heart murmur (I should hope, anyway).[/QUOTE]Ugh. It's the latter. I wrote that in the midst of a depressive episode, and for whatever reason, I feel a bit better now, so I'm far more clearheaded at the moment. Yeah, I just don't want to worry them, really. It's mostly out of feeling like it's not that bad. I feel a little bad most of the time, but sometimes I have crazy self-hate episodes, usually triggered by small events that mildly upset me. If I don't stop thinking about it, it'll spiral downwards, sometimes into places where I think about suicide in a favorable fashion. But these episodes aren't permanently crippling, and they only happen every 2-5 days or so, so I feel like it's not worth worrying my parents over something that might go away on its own. I'm waiting it out, pretty much. Just seeing what happens.

That sounds quite a bit like the anxiety attacks I sometimes get. I'm alright almost all of the time, but if something sets me off, I get an inappropriate fight-or-flight reaction backed with loads of adrenaline, instead of self-depreciating episodes of depression. I thought it was fairly minor as well, but when I described it to my psychiatrist, he almost immediately proposed putting me on another medication. I don't mean to propose that you necessarily need to be medicated for this, but that, not only is this the kinda thing psychiatrists have developed methods and tools specifically to treat, but is an option you could explore if you felt the need. At least, I sure hope it's a good option for uncontrollable episodes. Apparently the meds take about a week for the effect to start to take root, and I'm about 5 days in so far. Hoping for the best. Still, at the very least, it could still be in your best interest to at least let them know that this is a thing that happens to you sometimes and that you believe it is in your power to deal with yourself. If you say or do something while you're in a mood that could be misconstrued, it would probably be best if they knew you were going through an episode and not just being an asshole. In the end it's up to you how to deal with this. I can only advise. Just, at least consider that it might not bother them if you asked for their support. I don't check this thread when I get home from work every night because I think it's a pain in the ass to discuss problems with folks on the internet. I like helping folks, so I don't think it's too much of a stretch if would say that your parents would probably love to help you however they can.

[QUOTE=Raxas;44220496]That sounds quite a bit like the anxiety attacks I sometimes get. I'm alright almost all of the time, but if something sets me off, I get an inappropriate fight-or-flight reaction backed with loads of adrenaline, instead of self-depreciating episodes of depression. I thought it was fairly minor as well, but when I described it to my psychiatrist, he almost immediately proposed putting me on another medication. I don't mean to propose that you necessarily need to be medicated for this, but that, not only is this the kinda thing psychiatrists have developed methods and tools specifically to treat, but is an option you could explore if you felt the need. At least, I sure hope it's a good option for uncontrollable episodes. Apparently the meds take about a week for the effect to start to take root, and I'm about 5 days in so far. Hoping for the best. Still, at the very least, it could still be in your best interest to at least let them know that this is a thing that happens to you sometimes and that you believe it is in your power to deal with yourself. If you say or do something while you're in a mood that could be misconstrued, it would probably be best if they knew you were going through an episode and not just being an asshole. In the end it's up to you how to deal with this. I can only advise. Just, at least consider that it might not bother them if you asked for their support. I don't check this thread when I get home from work every night because I think it's a pain in the ass to discuss problems with folks on the internet. I like helping folks, so I don't think it's too much of a stretch if would say that your parents would probably love to help you however they can.[/QUOTE]It might not be a bad idea to say something. I'll think about it, but I know I'll feel guilty if I do tell them.

Actually, why none of you tried sedatives to calm yourself down? I've had some health problems (temperature's a bit above normal, in the danger zone, hard to breath etc.) so I took my doctor a visit. It appears that I've had some... stress, so my doctor prescribed some sedatives and a magnesium and something compound. And HOLY SHIT, it really helped to deal with the anxiety. And it's not like you don't think something's wrong anymore, no; you actually DO realize that you do something wrong and shit, but you just... take a relaxed attitude at it. And everyone seems to be okay with it too.

Man I am definitely fucked up right now. I'm starting to really think there is a god now, that's punishing me for my actions. Idk my brain is really fucked up it seems, I want to know what went wrong with me. I've been blaming puberty because everything started going downhill at 6th grade.

So, my eye twitch comes back full force, migraines won't stop, begin vomiting blood, can't think at all or stay awake when sitting, and I'm running to the toilet 5 times a day with blood and liquid shit. And I take this probiotic for a single day and it's all gone. I genuinely don't know what to think. I bought them for my colitis because I've been having a 2-week-long flareup, though this is a different brand than the last one I bought (which was $120 AUD, top of the line shit, and didn't help a whole lot except calm my stomach down). But this new one seems to have literally fixed everything, and it's cheaper than the last one. Seriously. It's insane. My mood is skyrocketing. I haven't been this happy or well since December. It genuinely feels like I've gone back in time before Christmas and none of this ever happened. I still have a slightly lingering headache (I wasn't expecting miracles after dealing with encephalitis), but everything else is so much better. I'm gonna ride this for as long as I can, but I still can't stop thinking: What the mother of fuck is going on with me? [editline]15th March 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Antivirus_404;44224963]Actually, why none of you tried sedatives to calm yourself down? I've had some health problems (temperature's a bit above normal, in the danger zone, hard to breath etc.) so I took my doctor a visit. It appears that I've had some... stress, so my doctor prescribed some sedatives and a magnesium and something compound. And HOLY SHIT, it really helped to deal with the anxiety. And it's not like you don't think something's wrong anymore, no; you actually DO realize that you do something wrong and shit, but you just... take a relaxed attitude at it. And everyone seems to be okay with it too.[/QUOTE] I take magnesium, though that's to help with my migraines and fatigue. Chamomile is apparently a nice relaxer. I drink it to help my stomach and inflammation but it helps me calm down and relax after work as well. Always worth a shot.

I was in town browsing through the shops and then sat by the seafront for a while. A very nice, elderly man sat next to me and we got talking and got along really well. He kept saying that even though he's a tourist, he's sure that he's seen me before. We talked a bit about our personal lives as well. Then I thought to myself cautiously "Hang on... How and why am I chatting so confidently to someone who I >THINK< I have met before?" But that didn't stop me from getting along with such a nice person. I offered to walk him to the car park, and he offered to give me a lift home. I was cautious all the way because I know people aren't supposed to accept lifts from strangers, but he seemed nice enough and I trust him. Such a nice person. I'm just so happy and thankful to obviously know that despite all of the bad fuckers out there, there really are some nice and thoughtful people in this world. All we have to do is open our hearts to them and keep looking for the nice people :smile:

hi i gotta get this off my chest i've been on an ssri prescription for a few weeks now: citalopram in specific (10 mg/24 hr), mainly to help me with insomnia caused by anxiety and depression it's a double edged sword for me in every way it helps to take away anxiety but i strongly feel that it effects my sense of judgement. i feel more apathetic and hazy towards things i don't want to feel like that one bit. i've screwed up in the past few weeks because of this - i've also learned that it's a terrible idea to take it with night tylenol pm the hard way i wanna feel comfortable with myself and my life but i don't want to be numb like this anymore. i want to feel connected to the world around me. i hate feeling emotionless and apathetic towards others. i've slipped up and been disrepsectful towards people more often.

[QUOTE=Ownederd;44241780]hi i gotta get this off my chest i've been on an ssri prescription for a few weeks now: citalopram in specific (10 mg/24 hr), mainly to help me with insomnia caused by anxiety and depression it's a double edged sword for me in every way it helps to take away anxiety but i strongly feel that it effects my sense of judgement. i feel more apathetic and hazy towards things i don't want to feel like that one bit. i've screwed up in the past few weeks because of this - i've also learned that it's a terrible idea to take it with night tylenol pm the hard way i wanna feel comfortable with myself and my life but i don't want to be numb like this anymore. i want to feel connected to the world around me. i hate feeling emotionless and apathetic towards others. i've slipped up and been disrepsectful towards people more often.[/QUOTE] You could try other ssri's; not all of them are like that (fluoxetine/prozac doesn't have those kinds of negative effects from my experience). I've had bad experiences outside of ssri's as well (Amitriptyline) which has effects more like what you're explaining, so I definitely would not recommend those (TCA's). Additionally my girlfriend has been taking prozac for anxiety, and she's told me she hasn't experienced the negative side effects of it (which are low), and it's worked well like it did for me before they stopped working. It seems to be the first choice for anti-depressants; I'm surprised you didn't get prescribed that first. Long answer short there's a large group of choices, you never have to settle on one medication. Go back to your doctor and explain the reactions you're having and discuss your alternatives. It's important to find one that works well for you and has the least side effects. I know how shit it is to feel sedate to everything around you. [editline]16th March 2014[/editline] Fluoxetine might make your insomnia worse though. I never had that side effect, but you might want to check everything about it before you consider taking it, or any SSRI for that matter.

i can't take prozac because my mom is allergic to it, so there's a good chance i inherited that. i will make the effort to review things with my doctor though

was listening to a radio I usually listen to, and 3 times in a row 3 songs I used to love back in 2012 started to play. brought back some memories I'd rather forget. 2012 was probably the greatest year of my life. I had friends, I had a girlfriend, I was socially active. it was perfect. it's weird to think that I have none of these anymore, like back in 2011 and earlier. makes me think, where did it all go? I wish I could go back and change what I did wrong. I wasn't capable of trusting my ex back then due to everything I've been through. it felt like she was often talking behind my back and sleeping with others, even though that wasn't the case. I'm not sure why I was thinking this, but my best guess is either what I've been through or the fact that she said yes to having a threesome with another guy and a friend of her. she never did it though. after that I became very protective of her. which in the end, was what drove her away. I really want to do something about it. get friends, be with someone, be social. where do I start though? who do I ask? the girl I've mentioned a few times through out this thread is too anxious to meet up, so she is really not worth trying. who else is there? none