Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;44509379]To be honest, right now yes.[/QUOTE] Fine lets make this a learning experience for all of us. PM me the names that you thought I was a cunt to.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;44509472]Fine lets make this a learning experience for all of us. PM me the names that you thought I was a cunt to.[/QUOTE] Why are you just being so hostile, from every example it's you just being sorry for yourself, whilst others who are the same have come in here to vent without attacking others every single time. I'm done talking about you because you seem adament on not letting anyone help you in a civilized way.

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;44509497]Why are you just being so hostile, from every example it's you just being sorry for yourself, whilst others who are the same have come in here to vent without attacking others every single time. I'm done talking about you because you seem adament on not letting anyone help you in a civilized way.[/QUOTE] Why would you waste your own time saying how much you want to help me or something, and when I want to get started you're like "IM DONE" I'm more than willing to hear what you say, and I'm more than willing to tell you about the entire situation if you stop with this whole "You're uncivilized" and "you're a cunt for no reason" shit.

Finally had the gumption to tell my mom what's been going on, and she seemed receptive enough to it. Hopefully this is a start to step one of improvement.

Hnnng I hate showers sometimes. Like once a week I think of all the dumb shit that has happened in my life because I'm not doing anything in the shower.

Back on anti-depressants. Didn't think I'd end up taking these again. Beats having a ton of moodswings over the course of a day though.

[QUOTE=Weirdness;44519078]Back on anti-depressants. Didn't think I'd end up taking these again. Beats having a ton of moodswings over the course of a day though.[/QUOTE] How come you came off them? I threw my lithium tablets away a couple days ago and i've been having big bipolar lows but to be honest its not as bad being around cooler people instead of on my own as usual

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;44519437]How come you came off them? I threw my lithium tablets away a couple days ago and i've been having big bipolar lows but to be honest its not as bad being around cooler people instead of on my own as usual[/QUOTE] They stopped working out of the blue. At the time I was already pouring money into medication for my colitis so saving some extra cash not buying them seemed like the right thing to do. Hope you play it safe. Though I'm glad you're taking control of your life.

[QUOTE=Weirdness;44523739]They stopped working out of the blue. At the time I was already pouring money into medication for my colitis so saving some extra cash not buying them seemed like the right thing to do. Hope you play it safe. Though I'm glad you're taking control of your life.[/QUOTE] Sometimes you become so accustom to some medication the effects it had wear off which is a shame, it's why i got bumped up to lithium, but i really didnt enjoy taking it, felt very extreme. Always here for a chat if you ever need to vent.

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;44519437]How come you came off them? I threw my lithium tablets away a couple days ago and i've been having big bipolar lows but to be honest its not as bad being around cooler people instead of on my own as usual[/QUOTE] What happens when you're Manic?

[QUOTE=InvaderNouga;44529702]What happens when you're Manic?[/QUOTE] I put up with it for years and i developed coping methods outside of medication. They wouldnt turn my emotion happy, thats impossible, but they'd keep my mind off of it, working on my cosplays, writing, drawing etc anything to get it out of me. I used to be big into MMO's and used those as a way, but it was kinda bad as if i was on a low id spend near 6-7 hours playing an mmo to avoid facing the lows. Now i have my lady close to me and a lot more support from people they are able to help me more, before hand id be alone in it and get worse and worse

Holy shit I feel so awful... I feel like I'm so out of place with everything and I don't really belong anywhere. I get so sad even in times when there's absolutely no reason to... like shit, this week I was at an awesome conference for a student engineering organization I'm a part of and I mean, I had a blast with my friends and stuff and had a good time experiencing it, but I had so many moments during it where I felt like I could barely move, and hated myself more than anything I've ever known. I was surrounded by people smiling and laughing, and often all I could think of was me dying, or how lonely I was and how no one would ever want me. Why would anyone want someone like me who's all gross lookin and shit? I really don't know what to do with myself anymore... my head feels like a time bomb waiting to explode, like one day I'm finally going to go "I'm gonna kill myself!" and it's gonna be done. I'm really scared. I'm scared and alone. This is kind of a ramble but I really just needed to try putting this into words cuz god I'm in such a weird spot mentally right now

[QUOTE=HWECQI;44531074]Holy shit I feel so awful... I feel like I'm so out of place with everything and I don't really belong anywhere. I get so sad even in times when there's absolutely no reason to... like shit, this week I was at an awesome conference for a student engineering organization I'm a part of and I mean, I had a blast with my friends and stuff and had a good time experiencing it, but I had so many moments during it where I felt like I could barely move, and hated myself more than anything I've ever known. I was surrounded by people smiling and laughing, and often all I could think of was me dying, or how lonely I was and how no one would ever want me. Why would anyone want someone like me who's all gross lookin and shit? I really don't know what to do with myself anymore... my head feels like a time bomb waiting to explode, like one day I'm finally going to go "I'm gonna kill myself!" and it's gonna be done. I'm really scared. I'm scared and alone. This is kind of a ramble but I really just needed to try putting this into words cuz god I'm in such a weird spot mentally right now[/QUOTE] Accept my steam request, i cant have you sitting there feeling like that.

christ, I've been trying to keep optimistic regarding my depression but it's starting to get so hard. I have literally not a single friend in real life, and I have only one on the internet who is slowly drifting away due to me being so god damn exhausted all the time. I'm never up for playing games, never up to voice chat, never up to anything. I'm so exhausted all the time, I have no energy to do anything. I can't enjoy games, I don't enjoy anything. so empty all the time. all I want in life is one friend. just a single friend to spend my time with. I'm so tired of being all alone, doing nothing at all, day in, day out. sometimes I really question why I still bother. somehow I manage to remain optimistic, and it annoys me to no end how some people say there's no way out of severe depression. what stops people from doing what they want to in life is themselves, and that is my case too. my thoughts are stopping me from doing what I want, I shape my terrible life. why am I so tired and exhausted all the time? because I've managed to get stuck in an awful, evil circle. all that is required on my part is pushing myself. it's uplifting to think that I am the reason why I'm in my current situation, and it's also uplifting to think that I'm more in control of my life than I could possibly think. anxiety and depression, all in my head. wow, I was expecting to go on a full out rant on how I really wasn't able to stay optimistic, and why I was still even bothering with life. already feel a lot better, knowing that I'm the guy shaping my life, no one but me and my thoughts. all that is needed is to get out of the evil circle of never ending exhaustion, then go from there. life will be good once the circle has been broken, just need to face my fears and beat them

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;44533762]Accept my steam request, i cant have you sitting there feeling like that.[/QUOTE] Ah sorry for denying it earlier today then, I didn't realize it was from you in this thread. I sent you one [editline]13th April 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;44534454]christ, I've been trying to keep optimistic regarding my depression but it's starting to get so hard. I have literally not a single friend in real life, and I have only one on the internet who is slowly drifting away due to me being so god damn exhausted all the time. I'm never up for playing games, never up to voice chat, never up to anything. I'm so exhausted all the time, I have no energy to do anything. I can't enjoy games, I don't enjoy anything. so empty all the time. all I want in life is one friend. just a single friend to spend my time with. I'm so tired of being all alone, doing nothing at all, day in, day out. sometimes I really question why I still bother. somehow I manage to remain optimistic, and it annoys me to no end how some people say there's no way out of severe depression. what stops people from doing what they want to in life is themselves, and that is my case too. my thoughts are stopping me from doing what I want, I shape my terrible life. why am I so tired and exhausted all the time? because I've managed to get stuck in an awful, evil circle. all that is required on my part is pushing myself. it's uplifting to think that I am the reason why I'm in my current situation, and it's also uplifting to think that I'm more in control of my life than I could possibly think. anxiety and depression, all in my head. wow, I was expecting to go on a full out rant on how I really wasn't able to stay optimistic, and why I was still even bothering with life. already feel a lot better, knowing that I'm the guy shaping my life, no one but me and my thoughts. all that is needed is to get out of the evil circle of never ending exhaustion, then go from there. life will be good once the circle has been broken, just need to face my fears and beat them[/QUOTE] If it helps you any I am very much like that as well, even with sans depression. I don't really like playing things with other people, but I do like talking about stuff. If you ever want to talk and stuff I'd gladly talk to you on steam and shit, I know how it can be to feel really like no one wants to talk to you. I'm glad you're looking at it positively though, you'll get better eventually I know it!

Hi everyone. I don't frequent this thread often (at all, really,) but I am currently dealing with a pretty sad family tragedy and I figure this is the best place to go on the forum for advice, I apologize in advance if this is inappropriate, but I don't know where else I could go. This morning my aunt suffered a heart attack, and as a result she is now comatose/in critical condition, the doctors aren't sure if theres anything they can do, so at this point I have to unfortunately assume the worst. Its pretty tough dealing with this, especially since I am 200 miles from home in college, I'll have to travel back home to be with my family, and deal with everything that must be dealt with. I guess just want to know how you guys deal with the loss of a loved one, especially one taken before their time, while you are essentially helpless in the matter. I think what's bothering me most is the fact that I can't be there right now. I grew up in a very family-oriented household, everyone on my dad's side was never more than a 20 minute drive away, so you can imagine how much it sucks to not be able to be by your loved ones' sides when it matters most. I can't exactly pinpoint my feelings right now. I know I should feel sad, and I do, but I think I feel more empty. I feel useless, like I'm betraying my family by not being there. Maybe its just shock. Please FP, any advice on coping with this, especially from those who have experienced it, would be greatly appreciated.

First, this happened very recently, so expecting to understand how you are feeling right away isn't very realistic. Second, everybody in the world grieves differently than anybody else in the world. It is a process that you can take at your own pace, your own way. My advice: Talk it out with somebody you are close to, but who isn't in your family. Also talk it out with members of your family, but more carefully because they will be going through their own thing. Times like this also require a lot of patience and understanding because this will be a pretty intense time emotionally for everyone. Expect fighting, but understand that it only happens because of love. I hope this helps.

I feel trapped, like my entire life is moving so fast and I'm just trudging along without a goal or aspiration at all. I'm not trying to sound all "woe is me" and stuff here but I don't get to express myself enough so I'm going to speak my mind goddamnit. I shouldn't be unhappy all things considered, I have a good life and I have friends and a family that loves me. I don't have money problems, I have a decent house and a part-time job and I'm in college, yet sometimes I get these spells of immense self-hatred for myself and get super down about things. First and foremost, I hate my body. I'm underweight by a significant amount (6'2, 150 lbs), I have a small/underdeveloped chin which I am EXTREMELY self conscious about, which sounds like a dumb thing to be upset over but it really bothers me. Then, once I think of these flaws I start findin other minor things about me that I don't like that most people wouldn't notice at all, and it just drives me nuts and I lead myself deeper into this dark cycle and it seems like I can't break it no matter what I do. I've been going to the gym and eating consistently to put some weight on and a part of me is thinking that this is going to lead to more confidence and a better self-image, and yet another part of me is wondering if I will ever feel good again. Something else that bothers me is that I feel as if I get no respect from my friends or anyone for that matter, and it just hurts man. :( I don't see why I should get respect, I haven't done anything amazing or notable with my time, yet I still want it desperately. To sum this up and not sound too whiny, I just want to be accepted and fit in. That's literally it. Sorry about how scattered this is, my thoughts were jumbled and it looks like it carried over when I was typing this :v: Thanks so much for reading.

I'm either having a bad reaction to my antidepressants or I'm going anemic. Either way I feel horrible.

[QUOTE=Weirdness;44543321]I'm either having a bad reaction to my antidepressants or I'm going anemic. Either way I feel horrible.[/QUOTE] You wont feel much from anti depressants for atleast a month, at the most two, keep at em. Every tablet ive taken ive felt shit emotionally and physically from them, lithium made me light headed and drowsy, few before made me have the shits.

I need serious help. I don't know what I'm doing wrong right now. I've just left another community in Team Fortress 2, and it, same as the previous 2 I've been participating in before this, they've ruined my life. Why is everyone out for my blood? Why must every single person I encounter act like they're my best friends, and then backstab me. Is it really that much fun? Is it really that much fun to make fun of me, of my family, especially of how my dad left us when I was just 3 years old? Is it really that fun for females to act like they really like me, abuse my completely null experience with women, and then completely crush me internally? I have completely no reason to live anymore, especially when the entire world is against me. There is nothing worse in life than being a social trash/gamer hybrid. I mean, fucking hell, look at me, I'm resorting to the goddamn Internet to help me. I'd ask friends to help me, but WHOOPS, I forgot! I have no friends! Anyways, sorry for the rant. I really need to "get a life", as all the normal people would say. this wall of text is actually making me laugh pretty goddamn hard once i read thru it again lol

The person I'm afraid of is pissed at me now, and told me she is sad over that she used time on me for no use... Because I asked for it... And that's my fault that I'm scared for her actions and I feel bad for my influence on her... Why the fuck do I even live anyway? I'm just ruining life after life...

I've had severe bipolar disorder my whole life starting in elementary school and up to now (27 years old) that ranges from really severe depression to slightly giddy mania, and lately I've gotten into marijuana and I must say it's turned my total mood upside down to really happy all the time. Why is this plant illegal? I haven't wanted to kill myself in a week.

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;44543461]You wont feel much from anti depressants for atleast a month, at the most two, keep at em. Every tablet ive taken ive felt shit emotionally and physically from them, lithium made me light headed and drowsy, few before made me have the shits.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I think it's anemia. I'm taking a few suppliments that thin my blood and apparently one of them contraindicates with fluoxetine and thins the blood even more, which is fun for my colitis. I'll have to cut some suppliments from my mix.

been feeling very exhausted ever since I quit my prozac (I think it begun when it started losing its effects). the fact that I'm so exhausted all the time is exhausting in itself, wish it'd stop. trying to think of things I could possibly do to get my mind off of things. working out is one thing, but I only plan to do that 3 days a week, so still lots of room to fill. the sessions doesn't last too long either, so it's a very tiny "break" from reality. playing games is out of question as it's really not stimulating enough. can't really come up with more than these two things. could always take a walk, but I've found it gives me too much space to think, and that isn't helpful for my depression at all. I remember crying while walking by myself when I used to take my walks, not really the coolest experience. could always go back to meds again, but I really don't want to end up relying on them to function. I'd talk this out with my shrink, but we haven't scheduled meeting before the upcoming Monday. soo lots of waiting until then :v:

I've been having problems with my head and stomach for the past month. My mother loves to imply that I'm doing it because I'm just having a bad day, which annoys me. My parents are in Vegas and my grandmother is looking after the house so I can't really stay home sick unless I want my mother moaning about it when she gets back.

Had my first therapy session today since my 9th grade year. I'm currently a senior in high school. In 9th grade I became suicidal and attempted 4 times. I view myself as a failure even in that field, because I never went through with it. I seem to view myself as a failure with anything I do, which ruins my confidence completely. After moving back home (moving away was what triggered my depression to go hardcore mode), I got a lot better and improved my life for about 2-3 years. Until recently, I had no suicidal thoughts. Everything was fine and my grades were at a stable and steady level. But since about November, I have dipped again. Throughout December I was pretty okay, until about February hit this year. That's when my life took a turn for the worst. I had a week where I barely went to school (attended 2 classes the entire week), a girl I had become interested in pretty much rejected me after leading me on for 2 weeks, my grandma had stopped chemo since she can't do it anymore, and I got in a few fights with friends. Most of all of that was within ONE day. I came home and sat on the couch outside my grandmas room for about 3 hours, and just thought. A few days after that was when I had the first thought in 3 years of ending my own life. Though this time it's become more of a self questionnaire than anything. Things like "what's the most painless/quickest way?", "what's the cleanest way to execute this?" and "who will miss me when I'm gone"? This of course sent me off the deep end once more, and I decided this time to get help before these thoughts and actions worsen until I make a BIG mistake. My mom scheduled me a therapy session earlier today and I've finally been recommended anti-depressants (since my previous therapist seemed to surface all my problems and just leave them there). I should start them relatively soon since I got the insurance info from my dad earlier today and my mother is scheduling me an appointment with the same doctor she goes to for some answers. I'm really hoping I can beat this. I recently got rejected to prom, which kinda put me in a dark spot for a bit, but I'm over it now. Trying my luck with someone else. I have 10 days to get ready for it! So wish me luck with finding a date!

Okay, guys, I need some real advice here. I am sorry for shitting up the thread again, but I just need help with this one. I'm way too different from everyone. Everybody I know seem to have a normal life, with flawless social aspects, lots of friends, activities to do, et cetera. Me, on the other hand, have none of that, since all I do, and all I seem to be able to do is sit home all the time and play computer games, which by the way, stopped being fun because of depression. Anyways, back on topic, my likes are so radically different from everyone. Everyone likes normal music, all I listen to all the time is videogame music. I seriously cannot live without it, and it takes a big part of my life. But the fact is, completely NO ONE I know thinks the same. None of my online friends, no one in real life, completely no one. My hobby right now is sound engineering, again, completely no one I know has that hobby. This leads to me acting like I like stuff I dislike or generally don't care about, you know, stuff like social websites, liking random motivators, which usually have something about love or a happy life, which is pretty goddamn ironic. Anyways, to the help aspect. I am really afraid of my future. My own future and my family's generation future, hopefully you all can tell why. If any of you here can give me any tips with this, I would appreciate it a huge ton. Sorry for the wall of text, everybody, and if you actually read it all, thanks.

[QUOTE=KandyMan;44572120]Okay, guys, I need some real advice here. I am sorry for shitting up the thread again, but I just need help with this one. I'm way too different from everyone. Everybody I know seem to have a normal life, with flawless social aspects, lots of friends, activities to do, et cetera. Me, on the other hand, have none of that, since all I do, and all I seem to be able to do is sit home all the time and play computer games, which by the way, stopped being fun because of depression. Anyways, back on topic, my likes are so radically different from everyone. Everyone likes normal music, all I listen to all the time is videogame music. I seriously cannot live without it, and it takes a big part of my life. But the fact is, completely NO ONE I know thinks the same. None of my online friends, no one in real life, completely no one. My hobby right now is sound engineering, again, completely no one I know has that hobby. This leads to me acting like I like stuff I dislike or generally don't care about, you know, stuff like social websites, liking random motivators, which usually have something about love or a happy life, which is pretty goddamn ironic. Anyways, to the help aspect. I am really afraid of my future. My own future and my family's generation future, hopefully you all can tell why. If any of you here can give me any tips with this, I would appreciate it a huge ton. Sorry for the wall of text, everybody, and if you actually read it all, thanks.[/QUOTE] Everyone goes through this phase. Hell I'm there right now, but honestly, if you feel you aren't doing enough, it may just be self doubt. Sometimes I like to get up and do something small like clean up a room or take out the trash. At least getting small things done can help with the feeling of being worth something. May I ask, what grade are you in?

I've been slowly gaining weight again and I'm on the verge of self harm. I can't possibly gain even a pound, it's going to drive me to suicide if I go over 160 again. I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror, all I see is a fat hogbeast. Is there any way to distract myself from these feelings?